Music Lyrics.... Can you??

[King-Panda]

Hey,

I'm looking for people that can or at least try to judge lyrics? Everyone got different opinions and that is good, makes things less biased...

Also people tha got the talent to write them so, and many times you don't know your talent until you try it!


Edit: The kind of lyrics I'm talking about to be judged or written are like these:

Spoiler

"I start to think, and then I sink/Into the paper like I was ink/When I'm writing, I'm trapped in between the lines/I escape when I finish the rhyme."


I bomb atomically, Socrates’ philosophies
And hypotheses can’t define how I be droppin these
Mockeries, lyrically perform armed robbery
Flee with the lottery, possibly they spotted me
Battle-scarred shogun, explosion when my pen hits
Tremendous, ultra-violet shine blind forensics
I inspect view through the future see millenium
Killa Beez sold fifty gold sixty platinum
Shackling the masses with drastic rap tactics
Graphic displays melt the steel like blacksmiths
Black Wu jackets Queen Beez ease the guns in
Rumble with patrolmen tear gas laced the function
Heads by the score take flight incite a war
Chicks hit the floor, diehard fans demand more
Behold the bold soldier, control the globe slowly
Proceeds to blow swingin swords like Shinobi
Stomp grounds I pound footprints in solid rock
Wu got it locked, performin live on your hottest block

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[V h o]

Pretty good lyrics, a good beat and it would be nice.

 

[-immortal-]

That was good

 

[Multiply]

Nah that was whack. It looks like you tried too hard to use 'big words'

 

[Waindo]

The above user telling you that it's a whack tends to use an elementary school vocabulary when writing his own "rhymes", so please, disregard his opinion.

Now, IMHO, flow 9/10, lyricall 10/10. This has awesome potentiall, keep the direction and style, it is just yours. It is truly awesome.

 

[Multiply]

The above user telling you that it's a whack tends to use an elementary school vocabulary when writing his own "rhymes", so please, disregard his opinion.

Now, IMHO, flow 9/10, lyricall 10/10. This has awesome potentiall, keep the direction and style, it is just yours. It is truly awesome.

Lmao, you're still cooked because of the hot ether soup I served you in that freestyle thread. We can freestyle anytime and I'll always serve you a hot bowl of it. You know for a fact you don't want it. I'll drop a hot verse at anytime.

I said it's whack because he's not talking about shit. His rhyme scheme is mediocre at best. Lyrically it makes no sense and seems to keep changing topics. He went off topic several times in that short little verse. The flow changes without warning and starts off good but ends trashy. That needs to be worked on definitely.

 

[KingOfAwesome]

Nah that was whack. It looks like you tried too hard to use 'big words'

If you knew anything about lyrical rap, you would know that is the infamous verse by Inspectah Deck off of Triumph, that is highly regarded and influential to this date.

OT: One of the best verses of all time.

 

[King-Panda]

Thanks guys but I never said those lyrics were mine. The first was from a song and the second is from a guy that posted it in a website showing the best rap lines of all time.... No plagiarism

Anyway I was looking for more peope that can create lyrics like those to join our group (24 of us), or that can judge those type of lyrics.... Or even both