The Scion of Hentai
Member
Looks Are Over-Rated
By The Scion of Hentai
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Summary:
We were so damn alike, we could'ave passed for twins, damnit! So why? Why was he such a babe-magnet whilst I'm a walking advertisement for failure with women?! Naruto experiments on how to get chicks.
Genre:
Slice of Life, Comedy, One-Shot
We were so damn alike, we could'ave passed for twins, damnit! So why? Why was he such a babe-magnet whilst I'm a walking advertisement for failure with women?! Naruto experiments on how to get chicks.
Genre:
Slice of Life, Comedy, One-Shot
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Naruto gazed intently at the photo grasped within his hands, his focus and attention unrelenting as he scanned it thoroughly. Beside the blonde sat Sakura, a look of annoyance on her face as she watched her teammate glare at the photo as he had been doing for the past two hours.
“Naruto! Enough baka! Two hours is overkill, let’s do this tomorrow.” requested the pinkette pleadingly.
Naruto however ignored her request, continuing his one-sided staring contest.
“Ugh! Naruto!” hollered Sakura again only to be ignored once more. Her anger having reached its boiling point, the pinkette funnelled chakra into her fist and in a show of almighty power, sucker-punched the oblivious blonde square on the cheek.
The blue-eyed Uzumaki groaned as he rose from the heap that used to be his living room couch, now reduced to a broken mess of wood and cloth from the force of the impact. “S-Sakurah-chahn….” muttered Naruto as he reaffixed his jaw, “w-what was that for?”
“That Naruto,” began the pinkette with a surprisingly innocent smile, “, is for being a stubborn idiot. Anyways, now that I have your attention, let’s wrap this up for today and go do something fun? Kiba found a new hang-out bar that’s opening down the street, let’s call everyone and go out, eh?”
“I can’t Sakura-chan! I have to solve this mystery!”
“It’s not a mystery baka! It’s a fact of life, some people are handsome and some aren’t!”
“But we’re so damn alike Sakura-chan!” moaned the blonde as he pointed towards the photo of his father. “I mean we’re related for Kami’s-sake! I had to have inherited some of those good looks eh? Eh?!”
It was well known throughout Konoha that Minato Namikaze had, other than his obvious strength and skill as a shinobi, one other defining characteristic that made the townspeople respect and adore him greatly. His smoking’ good looks.
“It must be the hair….” state the blonde as he tugged on a strand of his golden locks. “Maybe…..maybe if I grow some bangs…..the ladies would dig me. Or maybe a goatee, maybe both! What…..if I wore a poncho?”
Sakura sighed as she rose and walked towards the door. She’d lost enough of her time to the blonde as it was. “Wait, Sakura-chan!” bellowed Naruto, “I need a woman’s opinion on this!”
“Go find Ino, or Tenten, or Hinata!” bellowed back the pinkette to Naruto’s chagrin.
“W-wait…………..none of them are even close to being as beautiful as you o wonderful Sakura-chan…..” yelped the blonde in a last ditch resort to stop the pinkette.
Sakura screeched to a halt and gazed ahead blankly, her palm a few centimetres away from the doorknob. A void of emptiness seemed to form between the two as Naruto gazed questioningly at the back of the pinkette’s head, a bead of sweat slowly crawling down his brow.
“I couldn’t leave you to do this giant task alone now could I!?” chuckled out Sakura as she pulled Naruto back to his one remaining couch and pulled out the magnifying glass she’d brought along due to Naruto’s request.
Two hours later
Naruto emerged from his bedroom sporting brand new clothes and a few hair extensions which the pinkette had forced him to buy during a shopping trip they’d undertaken in the past hour. “How do I look?” questioned the blonde in the sultriest voice he could muster.
The blush on Sakura’s face was all the conformation he needed. “Okay Sakura-chan! Let’s go to that bar!”
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Naruto entered the bustling room and was immediately the focus of everyone’s attention. The girls gazed at him dreamily whilst the men had an almost feral scowl on their faces, some of them even trying to divert the attention of their ladies away from the blonde. To say that Naruto was happy with the reaction would be an understatement. Whilst on the outside the blonde was the definition of calm and composed, on the inside he was jumping for joy and cracking eggs. His love problems were solved! Thank you oto-san!
But then again, the reactions weren’t too much of a surprise by then. On the way to the bar the blonde had constantly been on the receiving end of a casual wink or a flying kiss from passing women, some of the gestures even originating from men, which slightly creeped him out.
Naruto casually strolled with Sakura in hand towards the table where Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Neji, Rock Lee and Kiba sat, all their eyes bulging in pure awe.
“Hey g-“ Naruto was cut off from his cool-guy introduction when Hinata promptly fainted, an intense red hue creeping up her smitten face. However, by that point Naruto was pretty used to the Hyuuga heir’s strange fainting spells and so paid it no heed.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” asked the blonde casually as he seated himself beside Shikamaru.
“N-naruto?” questioned the Nara with a look of dumb-struck awe. “Who else would I be?” retorted the blonde with a grin.
“What happened to you?” asked Kiba whilst he simultaneously fanned the unconscious Hyuuga.
“I……..inherited a legacy.” answered the blonde with a look of utmost seriousness.
“….but, what happened….to your face?“ questioned Neji, with a rare look of amazement on his usually emphatic face.
“I told you already. Anyways….let’s order, I haven’t eaten anything all day! Excuse me, waitress-san!”
The flustered attendant teetered nervously towards the blonde, making sure to avoid eye-contact with the handsome new customer. “Y-yes? Wh-what will be..order….you?” blurted out the woman, unable to make sense of her words.
“Um,” responded Naruto as he scanned over the menu, “I’d like two miso ramen with extra everything please! !”
“R-ramen?”
“Yes….” replied the hungry blonde. “Ra-ramen?” repeated the waitress much to the blonde’s annoyance. “Yes…..ramen. R. A. M. E. N. Ramen. Ra- men. You know, ra, like hur-rah or Do-ra the Explo-ra? And men, like…….ra- men…..got it?”
The waitress uttered a flustered ‘Hai!’ and performed a rigid bow before hurriedly running off towards the kitchen, off to serve the whims of the handsome customer.
Naruto sighed as he faced his group of friends, each and every one still somewhat confused by the blonde’s new look. For the next ten minutes, every attempt the blonde made towards decent conversation was blocked by the ravenous mob of Kiba and Rock Lee as they buffeted him with questions on how he ‘transformed from epic fail to just plain epic’ and whether there was some sort of product that they could use to get the ladies as well.
Neji and Shikamaru on the other hand avoided eye contact with the blonde with the Hyuuga prodigy muttering something about how ‘he had it so easy with the ladies after Sasuke left, no he had to contend with the blonde as well.’
Shika simply seemed unwilling to acknowledge the blonde’s presence.
Hinata remained comatose, oblivious to her love’s pain whilst Ino and Tenten kept batting their eyelashes and winking suggestively whenever Naruto dared look at them, something which didn’t escape Sakura’s notice.
The pinkette immediately began clawing at the blonde, prying at him for each and every inch of his attention sparking a silent war between the females.
Naruto sighed as he stared at his empty plate, wondering whether this had been a bad idea.
However, his depressive mood was short-lived and underwent a complete U-turn as soon as he spotted a waitress headed towards him, carrying with her a tray of delicious, nutritious, glorious ramen.
The woman set the bowl in front of the blonde and immediately rushed back to the kitchen, obviously intending to gossip on how her hand had brushed across the handsome new customer’s hand when she had set down his plate.
“W-what?!” roared Naruto in a fit of rage.
“This is….this is…TAKOYAKI!?”
Naruto foamed with rage as he dashed back home much to the displeasure of his companions and every woman within the bar. In a feat of inhuman speed and agility, the blonde ripped off his extensions and clothes and donned his usual orange and black jumpsuit once more within seconds of entering his flat. Hmph, he could take Pain invading Konoha.
He could take fighting an S-ranked missing-nin, but being denied ramen, HE WOULD NEVER TAKE THAT!
The blonde rushed back back towards the bar in record-time, entering the bar in a burst of fury and uttering a shrill roar. The entire bar gazed at the new-comer before turning their attention back to their food. The blonde grinned with pleasure as he walked back towards his booth, no longer bothered by sultry winks and flying kisses.
He still encountered the occasional, “Hello saviour.” from the random villager as he had rushed down the street but that was to be expected, he had saved the entire village from complete and utter annihilation.
“Yo Naruto,” barked Kiba, “you’re stupid-looking again.” stated the Inuzuka with a grin. For once the blonde didn’t seem to mind the insult and sat down with unmediated glee.
“Here, we ordered this for you.”
Naruto smiled with uncontainable happiness as a bowl of ramen was pushed towards him.
'Hmph' thought Naruto, 'looks are over-rated.'
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Author Notes
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Just some random dribble I came up with. Not meant to be an 'amazing' fic or anything. Oh, actually, this is my first fic! Someone give me a cookie cuz this is an achievement! I actually got off my lazy ass and did something!
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