Jack Spicer
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The third episode.
Title: The Mask
We begin in Itachi and Kisame's room...
Kisame: I wonder why they call the Internet the web...It doesn't make any sense, really.
Itachi: Kisame, I do not care.
Kisame: It just strikes me as weird.
Itachi: We have similar problems, as you strike me as weird.
Kisame: It's all just a big mystery I guess.
Itachi: If it gets you to shut up, then, Yes it is all just a big mystery.
Kisame: Speaking of mysteries...
Itachi: *Sigh* Oh god......What now...
Kisame: Who do you think is behind Tobi's mask?
Itachi: I would imagine Tobi is behind Tobi's mask, Kisame.
Kisame: No I mean, who is behind his mask.
Itachi: Tobi is.
Kisame: Itachi! I mean-
Itachi: Don't take a tone with me, Kisame.
Kisame: Well then...back to the web.
Itachi: Hey, Kisame?
Kisame: Yeah, Itachi?
Itachi: I wonder why they call the Internet the web....
Over in Deidara & Sasori's room...
Deidara: Ahhh!! *Screams like girl*
Sasori: Well, that was certainly manly.
Deidara: Sasori, kill it!
Sasori: Fine, if it gets you off the ceiling fan!
(Sasori fires fire and burns the spider)
Sasori, thinking to himself: Take that Zuko! I am a firebender.
Deidara: Is it gone? Can I come down?
Sasori: It's gone, but I'd prefer if you stay up there.
Deidara: Very funny, Sasori, my man.
(Deidara gets down from fan)
Sasori: Why are you even scared up spiders? You have produced them from your hands while making that thing you consider art.
Deidara: They are masterpieces, not hideous monsters! And what I make IS art.
Sasori: Whatever you say.
Deidara: Don't whatever me, hm!
Sasori: Just shut it! You're giving me a headache!
Deidara: That reminds me of someone...
Sasori: Who?! Ah! This headache is killing me!
Deidara: Tobi. It reminds me of Tobi, hm.
Sasori: Tobi? God, I hate him!!
Deidara: Well, after what happned last week with him flipping out, I would too.
Sasori: I've hated him way before that!
Deidara: Heh, I wonder who's behind that mask of his, hm.
Sasori: Whoever it is deserves to DIE!!!
Deidara: Hm...I suppose so.
Sasori: You suppose?!!!
Deidara: He's not that bad, un.
Sasori: Deidara! He's the plague!
Deidara: Whoever or whatever he is, is a mystery we must solve!
Sasori: Since when did you start acting like Pein?!!
Deidara: Hmph, I don't know...Feels funny though.
Sasori: God!!! My head hurts so bad!!!
Deidara: How does a puppet have a headache? I mean is it even humanly possible? Considering if you are a human...Which you are not, hm.
Sasori: Gwahhhhh!!!!!! Shut up!!!!
Over in Kakuzu & Hidan's room...
Hidan: Kakuzu! Put that down!
Kakuzu: Why? What's so special about it?!
Hidan: It's Jasin's words of wisdom!! I need them!
Kakuzu: You need to stop whining and put that scythe of yours down.
Hidan: No!!!
Kakuzu: Then I guess this book is mine. Think it'll sell well on EBay, Hidan?
Hidan: It's mine!!!-
(In a promo type voice)
Hidan: And yes it would sell well, it's worth 33.95 and is at your local bookstores. Purchase it today. *Smiles*-
Hidan: Give me my book back!!!
(Hidan throws his scythe which misses Hidan and nails the Akatsuki family photo.)
Kakuzu: Hidan! That could've killed me!
Hidan: Don't say that!! Because SADLY, it's not true!
Kakuzu: Well, Hidan, Shut up and look at what you did!
Hidan: What I did?!
Kakuzu: Your scythe, your problem.
Hidan: No wa-Kakuzu...why do we have the Akatsuki Family Photo in our room?
Kakuzu: Hmmm...I don't really know.
Hidan: Ha! My scythe hit Tobi perfectly! Right in the face!
Kakuzu: Heh, It did didn't it!?
Hidan: Hm.. I wonder...What does Tobi really look like?
Kakuzu: No way to find out unless....
Hidan: We remove the mask!!!
Kakuzu: This will be a perfect opportunity to place bets now Hidan.
Hidan: It's on! I bet we will find out before anyone else does!
Kakuzu: Now we just have to get the others to place bets too.
Hidan: Even Kisame?
Kakuzu: ESPECIALLY Kisame.
Now we go over to Pein & Konan's room...
Pein: Konan, I still don't understand why you're still upset at Tobi. It's been a week already.
Konan: He ruined our moment!
Pein: Our moment?
Konan: Yes! For once you weren't talking about NCIS and you were talking to me!
Pein: I don't talk about NCIS that much...
Konan: Last week you called me both Abby and Zeeva!
Pein: Hey, Abby's hot and Zeeva's a fighter. Both are qualities that you have.
Konan: Aw, Pein...I love y-
(Tobi Loudly knocks on door)
Tobi: Pein!!!! We are out of toilet paper!
Konan: Go away Tobi!
Tobi: Oh hey Konan! I'm Tobi!
Konan: I know who you are! Now, Go away!
Tobi: Konan, I need your assistance! We are out of toilet paper!! Can I have some of you? To use as toilet paper!!!!??
Pein: That's disgusting...
Konan: Tobi, please, just go away!
Tobi: Ok! Have a good day! Love you guys! I wonder if Zetsu has any toilet paper...
(Tobi skips happily away)
Pein: He takes his disguise way too seriously. He even said he loved us!
Konan: I hate him!! He's going get some serious payback!
Pein: Konan, remember who he really is, payback is not a wise move.
Konan: I don't care!
Pein: Well, what exactly are you going to do to him?
Konan: Expose that nusciance for who he really is! I'm going to take that mask of his off in front of everyone and kill him with it!
Pein: Wow...That's graphic.. Good luck with that...
Konan: You're not going to help?
Pein: No, Konan, NCIS is on!!
Konan: If you help I'll watch an episode with you later.
Pein: I'm fine. I can watch it alone.
Konan: We'll watch a marathon!
Pein: Sorry, Konan, it's still a no.
Konan: I'll dress up as Abby tonight!
Pein: Yes! Score for Pein!!!! Konan, you have a deal.
Konan: *Sigh* Atleast we'll be interacting...
(*Thinking to herself* Score for Konan!!)
Now, to the meeting....
Pein: And that's why I believe Santa isn't real! Does that answer your question Tobi?
Tobi: (Salutes) Yes sir!!
Tobi Looks at Zetsu and whispers: But I still believe in him.
Zetsu: (White Half) Glad to know, Tobi.
Zetsu: (Black Half) I don't care.
Zetsu: (White Half) How rude! *Whispers* Yet so true...
Deidara: Hmph, Tobi is such a nusciance.
Itachi: He is quite aggravating
Hidan: Oh come on guys! Say what you really mean! I hope he dies!
Sasori: Couldn't agree any more...
Kisame: He's an odd little beast for sure.
Kakuzu: I say we unmask him. We'll show him who's boss.
Pein: I'm the boss Kakuzu...
Hidan: So guys, who's in?
Kisame: I've been wondering what he looks like..
Itachi: Kisame, you've also been wondering why your dead goldfish won't talk to you. So your opinion doesn't really matter AT ALL.
Deidara: Kakazu, I'm sold. Let's unmask him, hm.
Kakuzu: Alright, but there's one requirement.
Hidan: All of you must bet as a team.
Itachi: Why?
Hidan: It seems fun!
Itachi: You just want to entertain yourself while killing him, don't you?
Hidan: Who wouldn't?
Kakuzu: So, are you guys in?
Sasori: It Couldn't hurt.
Deidara: I'm in, hm.
Itachi: I have nothing else to do. my Soaps don't come on until tommorrow anyway.
Kisame: It should be quite thrilling..Count me in.
Zetsu: (Black Half) I'll pass. I kind of like Tobi.
Zetsu: (White Half) Well, he is a good boy.
Kakuzu: Then it's settled. It will begin in thirty minutes.
Itachi: Why thirty minutes?
Kakuzu: We need to prepare.
Sasori: Prepare? Prepare for what?
Kakuzu: Just do it!
Sasori: Okay.....
Tobi: Were you guys talking about me!?!
Everyone, but Pein and Konan: No.
Tobi: Why not? I'm very popular!!
Itachi: Of course you are...
Konan: Meeting adjourned!
(Everyone leaves except Konan and Pein)
Pein: It seems the others want Tobi unmasked and killed aswell, Konan.
Konan: We'll just have to make it to Tobi before they do.
Pein: Should be interesting...
Konan: Wow, Pein, I can't believe your actually helping me with this and missing NCIS.
Pein: Anything for-
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: I forgot my-
(Tobi Slips and breaks the table thus spilling Pein's coffee on Konan)
Tobi: ....Crayon...
Konan: Tobi!!!
(Tobi, frantically, runs away)
Tobi: Ahhh!! Don't Hurt Tobi!!! Tobi is sorry!!!
Pein: Damn, my coffee....Konan, it's on! He will be punished!
Konan: Oooh, Pein, How manly. You know, I find that very attractive...
Pein: I am not surprised. I was taught by the best. Jeathro Gibbs AKA The Man.
Konan: Pein....(Shakes head)
30 minutes of preparing later..We join Sasori and Deidara in their pursuit!
Sasori: Are you ready?
Deidara: Yeah, hm. This plan if perfect.
Sasori: Yeah, it's even easier since it involves an idiot like Tobi!
Deidara: Alright, time to go.
In the living room where Tobi is watching TV....
Tobi: Wonder what's on TV...OH! Tobi loves Dora!!! Boots is a kinda a prick though..Oops Tobi said a bad word! HeHeHe....
Zetsu (Who's walking by) (White Half): He's talking to himself......why?
Zetsu (Black Half): Just keep walking..
(Zetsu walks away, while Deidara & Sasori walk in)
Deidara: Hey Tobi!
Tobi: Hello Deidara-Sempai!!!
Deidara: Do you want to go hang outside, hm?
Tobi: Tobi doesn't do drugs!
Sasori: *Thinking to himself* Drugs? What the hell...
Deidara: No, Tobi, I meant do you want to go play a game outside? Like....Hop....Scotch?
Sasori: *Thinking to Himself* Hop Scotch? What the hell? Seriously...
Tobi: Tobi doesn't play child games!
Deidara: You're joking right, hm?
Tobi: Yeah! I love games! Sempai, you know me all too well!
Deidara: Sadly....Well, hm, let's go outside!
Tobi: Yay!!!!
Sasori: *Thinking* Well, here it goes...
Outside...
Deidara: Tobi, you ready?
Tobi: Yes, sir! (Salutes)
Sasori: *Thinking* If All goes well he should walk directly into our trap, thus activating my already placed poisoned needles from above, which will strike and temporary paralyze him so we can secure his mask and see who he really is. Best Plan Ever! Woo!
Deidara: Now, Tobi, just stand there, hm.
Tobi: Okay.....Whaa!!
(Tobi falls and pushes Deidara into the trap thus paralyzing him)
Tobi: Deidara-Sempai!!! Oh No!!!
Sasori: Well, it seems I'll have to take care of this myself.
(Sasori dives at Tobi with a poisoned sword)
Sasori: Die!
(Tobi ducks and Sasori somehow manages to stab himself in the heart, barely)
Tobi: Did you say something?..........Guess not! Tobi's gonna go inside! Bye guys!!
(Tobi leaves)
Sasori: Damn. I can't move.
Deidara: Well you are a puppet, hm.
Sasori: Ahhhh!!!! Just shut up!!
Deidara: Why, hm?
Sasori: One: You're giving me a MAJOR headache AGAIN!
Two: I will kill you if you don't shut up!!!
Deidara: Heh, maybe...in the next five hours!!!
Sasori: I'm in hell!!!!!
Sasori & Deidara: Tobi!!!!!!!!!!
Now on to Hidan & Kakuzu's attempt..
In Hidan & Kakuzu's room...
Hidan: See, this is the perfect plan.
Kakuzu: Maybe, but Don't let your ego get in the way, Hidan, or it won't work.
Hidan: Kakuzu, it'll work. Oh and by the way, don't open your damn mouth again.
Kakuzu: I'm starting to wonder why everyone isn't hunting for you!!!
Hidan: Well, here's the thing, I don't give a fu-
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: Hey guys!!
Hidan: Oh, hey Tobi....
Tobi: Whatcha doing?
Hidan: We are plotting to unmask and then kill y...
(Hidan and Kakuzu look at each other)
Kakuzu: Now!
Hidan: Gotcha! Hey, Tobi!
Tobi: Yo? I iz here!
Hidan: Time to die!!
Tobi: My hair?
(Hidan throws his scythe, but Tobi ducks)
Tobi: Oh, I get it. You want to kill me.
Kakuzu: Yes, we do.
Tobi: Oh....Oh GAWD!!!!!!!!! I'm outta here!!!!
Kakuzu: Get him!
Hidan: It wouldn't kill you to be nice once in awhile.
Kakuzu: Okay. Pardon me Hidan, but go get him now!!! Or I will slice your worhless body up so bad it'll be beyond recognition!!!!!
Hidan: Is That a threat?!
Kakuzu: What do you think?!
Tobi: Ah!!!! They're after me!!!!
(Tobi runs in and hits Kakuzu and Hidan. Hidan's scythe pierces him and Kakuzu to the wall. Hidan is back first against the wall while Hidan is sideways back first against Hidan's stomach)
Tobi: Guys!! Hurry! Hidan and Kaku..
(Notices he's back in their room and he caused a huge accident).
Tobi: Oh my....Ah!!!!!!!! Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Tobi runs away)
Hidan: Get off of me!!!!
Kakuzu: This is your fault!!!
Hidan: Oh, Jashin...Get this idiot's back off of my amazing abbs!!!
Kakuzu: Atleast your not sideways! And your abbs are only amazing on Clash of Ninja Revolution Three!
Hidan: Well look at it like this! I'm straight and you're not! HaHaHaha! Ah, gay jokes...
Kakuzu: I'm going to kill you!!!!!!!
(Kakuzu & Hidan attempt to fight, failing badly)
Hidan: Damn you Tobi!!!
Kakuzu: Tobi, you're dead!!!! Count on it!!! I will kill you!!!
Hidan: No, Kakuzu, I will kill him!
Kakuzu: I didn't ask for your opinion!!!!
Hidan: Shut it Kakuzu!!!!
Kakuzu: Hidan, you are dead!!!!!
Hidan: Oh, whatever!
Onward to Pein and Konan's journey to acquire Tobi's mask...
In the hallway...
Pein: I'm starting to doubt this plan of yours.
Konan: Pein, believe me, it WILL work!
Pein: Well, I suppose. But if it fails, he will probably kill us.
Konan: It will not fail and besides, IF it did, he wouldn't kill us because he needs us.
Pein: Well, we are pretty amazing.
Konan: That's the spirit!
Pein: Yeah....spirit...Speaking of spirit, don't forget our deal.
Konan: I won't...Wait here he comes!
Pein: Good for him, I guess. By the way, who is he?
Konan: Tobi!!!
Pein: *Laughs* Tobi who???
Konan: Get serious!
Pein: I am!
Konan: Sorry for screaming, Pein.
Pein: Sorry for having FUN!!!!
Konan: Don't get so touchy!
Pein: Really? WOW. All you want to do is get touchy!
Konan: Atleast I'm not addicted to a Stupid show!!!
Pein: TAKE THAT BACK!
Konan: AND WHAT IF I DON'T?!
(Tobi walks up to them)
Tobi: Hey guys!!!!
Pein & Konan: Not Now Tobi!!!!!!
Tobi: Kay!!! See you guys later!!
(Tobi Salutes and Walks away)
Pein: Konan, just leave me alone!!!
Konan: You know what, I hate you!!
Pein: And I hate you!!!!
Konan: AND I HATE NCIS!
(Pein and Konan have a stare down And then part ways)
Now on to Itachi and Kisame.....
In another hallway...
Kisame: Now to find that little beast!
Itachi: Do you call everyone a beast? It's more annoying than that rap song called Beast Mode. Rap is stupid for the record.
Kisame: Well, I-
Itachi: Just don't answer it.
Kisame: Seems the beast found us...here he comes!
Itachi: There is so many things wrong with that sentence...
Kisame: Sshhh!!! He's coming!
Itachi: Ssh, me one more time and I'll give Tobi your head as a Christmas Ornament!
Kisame: Sorry, but it's time.. Itachi Go!
Itachi: I am not a pokemon, Kisame.
Kisame: Sorry.
(Tobi walks up to Kisame and Itachi)
Tobi: Itachi, Kisame! Hey guys!!
Itachi: (*Thinking* Okay, concentrate): Tobi, will you remove your mask?
Tobi: Nope!
Kisame: (*Thinking* Last chance): Please!
Tobi: Nope!
Kisame: Well I have don't have any more ideas...
Itachi: Neither do I... I guess I'll see you guys later then...
Kisame: Yeah, later...
Tobi: Bye!!!!
To the living room containing numerous failed attempts...
Zetsu: (White half): You guys look..
Zetsu: (Black half): Ruined, full of failure.
Zetsu: (White Half): Well put.
Zetsu: (Black half): Always is.
Deidara: Well, I'm so happy you're so concerned about all us, hm!
Sasori: I couldn't move for 3 hours!
I had to hear his (Points to Deidara) damn mouth FOREVER.
Hidan: You thought you had it bad, think again! I was stuck to Kakuzu. He kept running That stitched up money obsessed mouth of his!
Kakuzu: Hidan! I'm right here! Think before you act!
Hidan: Oh, I thought!
Kakuzu: Well I'm gonna act!
Pein: Both of you stop arguing! I've had enough of arguing today!
Deidara: Ouch, that hurt.
Sasori: Someone's angry.
Hidan: This anger fears Jashin!
Kakuzu: I was just going to tell all of you, my good friends, how Zetsu helped me and Hidan down.
Konan: Oh, shut up!
Pein: Don't be mean to them! They are my friends!
Konan: Don't tell me what to do!
Pein: Why not? I am Pain!
Konan: Keep talking and you'll experience TRUE PAIN!
Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, & Kakuzu: Oooo!!
(Pein & Konan give them an evil glare)
Deidara: I'm outta here, hm.
Hidan: I gotta go pray!
Kakuzu: Deal or No Deal is on, later!
Sasori: Well, (Smiles) Look at the ti-
(Sasori Leaves before finishing)
Pein: Hmph.
Konan: About time they left...
Pein: Well, we were pretty frightening.
Konan: Yeah...
Pein: I'm sorry for getting mad at you.
Konan: ....
Pein: I undersand why your mad..I guess I'll be on my way then..
Konan (Interupting him): Let's go.
Pein: Go? Go where?
Konan: Remember our deal?
Pein: Deal?
Konan: (Leaning against Pein) Remember, I'm Abby tonight! Let's go!
Pein: No, the deal is off.
Konan (Gets off Pein) :Wh-What?
Pein: You heard me.
Konan: I see..You're still mad...
Pein: Yes, because from now on I desire you, Konan, not Abby, Kate, or anyone else!
Konan: R-Really?!
Pein: Let's go!
Konan: Alright!
Pein: I am truley a God! Next to Jeathro Gibbs of course...And Chuck Norris....And Patrick Star...And....
Konan: Pein?!
Pein: Coming!
(Both Leave)
In the bathroom...
Tobi: I love brushing my Teeth! Whoops, gotta remove my mask!
(Takes mask off)
Tobi: It feels so relaxing to finnaly take that mask off.
(Itachi walks in)
Itachi: Oh, hey.
Tobi: I-tach-I....
Itachi: I was washing my clothes earlier. I think they should be done by now.
(Itachi gets his clothes and leaves while Kisame walks in)
Kisame: Oh, I didn't notice that anyone was in here. I have to get my slippers. My feet kill me in the morning.
(Kisame grabs his slippers and leaves while Itachi walks in again)
Itachi: Seems I forgot my socks. Sorry.
(Itachi leaves while Kisame walks in again...)
Kisame: I grabbed the wrong pair of slippers..Excuse me.
(Grabs his slippers)
Kisame: These are mine. Goodnight.
(Kisame leaves)
Tobi: Okay....
(Looks around)
Tobi: Wait, where's the toothpaste? Nooo!!!!!!
(In Itachi and Kisame's room)
Kisame: I wonder where Tobi was tonight.
Itachi: Probably hiding.
Kisame: Maybe. Wonder who that was in the bathroom tonight...
Itachi: Hm.. Whoever it was certainly looked very familiar.. We probably should have checked it out..... I wonder what he was doing here anyway.
Kisame: Probably visiting...
Itachi: Maybe, but what if...
Kisame: You don't think.
(Itachi smiles)
Kisame: You think he...
Itachi: Yes...
Kisame: I knew it! That man we saw is secretly Tobi in disguise!
Itachi: No, Kisame, that's just stupid. It's obvious that the man we saw, wanted to join The Akatsuki!
Kisame: Oh....That's too bad...
Itachi: Yeah, the spot is already taken by Tobi.
Kisame: You know, I actually think Tobi is a good boy...
Itachi: I think I don't care...so, I don't care, Kisame!
Kisame: Itachi, You are not a good boy.
Itachi: Oh god....
The End.
Title: The Mask
We begin in Itachi and Kisame's room...
Kisame: I wonder why they call the Internet the web...It doesn't make any sense, really.
Itachi: Kisame, I do not care.
Kisame: It just strikes me as weird.
Itachi: We have similar problems, as you strike me as weird.
Kisame: It's all just a big mystery I guess.
Itachi: If it gets you to shut up, then, Yes it is all just a big mystery.
Kisame: Speaking of mysteries...
Itachi: *Sigh* Oh god......What now...
Kisame: Who do you think is behind Tobi's mask?
Itachi: I would imagine Tobi is behind Tobi's mask, Kisame.
Kisame: No I mean, who is behind his mask.
Itachi: Tobi is.
Kisame: Itachi! I mean-
Itachi: Don't take a tone with me, Kisame.
Kisame: Well then...back to the web.
Itachi: Hey, Kisame?
Kisame: Yeah, Itachi?
Itachi: I wonder why they call the Internet the web....
Over in Deidara & Sasori's room...
Deidara: Ahhh!! *Screams like girl*
Sasori: Well, that was certainly manly.
Deidara: Sasori, kill it!
Sasori: Fine, if it gets you off the ceiling fan!
(Sasori fires fire and burns the spider)
Sasori, thinking to himself: Take that Zuko! I am a firebender.
Deidara: Is it gone? Can I come down?
Sasori: It's gone, but I'd prefer if you stay up there.
Deidara: Very funny, Sasori, my man.
(Deidara gets down from fan)
Sasori: Why are you even scared up spiders? You have produced them from your hands while making that thing you consider art.
Deidara: They are masterpieces, not hideous monsters! And what I make IS art.
Sasori: Whatever you say.
Deidara: Don't whatever me, hm!
Sasori: Just shut it! You're giving me a headache!
Deidara: That reminds me of someone...
Sasori: Who?! Ah! This headache is killing me!
Deidara: Tobi. It reminds me of Tobi, hm.
Sasori: Tobi? God, I hate him!!
Deidara: Well, after what happned last week with him flipping out, I would too.
Sasori: I've hated him way before that!
Deidara: Heh, I wonder who's behind that mask of his, hm.
Sasori: Whoever it is deserves to DIE!!!
Deidara: Hm...I suppose so.
Sasori: You suppose?!!!
Deidara: He's not that bad, un.
Sasori: Deidara! He's the plague!
Deidara: Whoever or whatever he is, is a mystery we must solve!
Sasori: Since when did you start acting like Pein?!!
Deidara: Hmph, I don't know...Feels funny though.
Sasori: God!!! My head hurts so bad!!!
Deidara: How does a puppet have a headache? I mean is it even humanly possible? Considering if you are a human...Which you are not, hm.
Sasori: Gwahhhhh!!!!!! Shut up!!!!
Over in Kakuzu & Hidan's room...
Hidan: Kakuzu! Put that down!
Kakuzu: Why? What's so special about it?!
Hidan: It's Jasin's words of wisdom!! I need them!
Kakuzu: You need to stop whining and put that scythe of yours down.
Hidan: No!!!
Kakuzu: Then I guess this book is mine. Think it'll sell well on EBay, Hidan?
Hidan: It's mine!!!-
(In a promo type voice)
Hidan: And yes it would sell well, it's worth 33.95 and is at your local bookstores. Purchase it today. *Smiles*-
Hidan: Give me my book back!!!
(Hidan throws his scythe which misses Hidan and nails the Akatsuki family photo.)
Kakuzu: Hidan! That could've killed me!
Hidan: Don't say that!! Because SADLY, it's not true!
Kakuzu: Well, Hidan, Shut up and look at what you did!
Hidan: What I did?!
Kakuzu: Your scythe, your problem.
Hidan: No wa-Kakuzu...why do we have the Akatsuki Family Photo in our room?
Kakuzu: Hmmm...I don't really know.
Hidan: Ha! My scythe hit Tobi perfectly! Right in the face!
Kakuzu: Heh, It did didn't it!?
Hidan: Hm.. I wonder...What does Tobi really look like?
Kakuzu: No way to find out unless....
Hidan: We remove the mask!!!
Kakuzu: This will be a perfect opportunity to place bets now Hidan.
Hidan: It's on! I bet we will find out before anyone else does!
Kakuzu: Now we just have to get the others to place bets too.
Hidan: Even Kisame?
Kakuzu: ESPECIALLY Kisame.
Now we go over to Pein & Konan's room...
Pein: Konan, I still don't understand why you're still upset at Tobi. It's been a week already.
Konan: He ruined our moment!
Pein: Our moment?
Konan: Yes! For once you weren't talking about NCIS and you were talking to me!
Pein: I don't talk about NCIS that much...
Konan: Last week you called me both Abby and Zeeva!
Pein: Hey, Abby's hot and Zeeva's a fighter. Both are qualities that you have.
Konan: Aw, Pein...I love y-
(Tobi Loudly knocks on door)
Tobi: Pein!!!! We are out of toilet paper!
Konan: Go away Tobi!
Tobi: Oh hey Konan! I'm Tobi!
Konan: I know who you are! Now, Go away!
Tobi: Konan, I need your assistance! We are out of toilet paper!! Can I have some of you? To use as toilet paper!!!!??
Pein: That's disgusting...
Konan: Tobi, please, just go away!
Tobi: Ok! Have a good day! Love you guys! I wonder if Zetsu has any toilet paper...
(Tobi skips happily away)
Pein: He takes his disguise way too seriously. He even said he loved us!
Konan: I hate him!! He's going get some serious payback!
Pein: Konan, remember who he really is, payback is not a wise move.
Konan: I don't care!
Pein: Well, what exactly are you going to do to him?
Konan: Expose that nusciance for who he really is! I'm going to take that mask of his off in front of everyone and kill him with it!
Pein: Wow...That's graphic.. Good luck with that...
Konan: You're not going to help?
Pein: No, Konan, NCIS is on!!
Konan: If you help I'll watch an episode with you later.
Pein: I'm fine. I can watch it alone.
Konan: We'll watch a marathon!
Pein: Sorry, Konan, it's still a no.
Konan: I'll dress up as Abby tonight!
Pein: Yes! Score for Pein!!!! Konan, you have a deal.
Konan: *Sigh* Atleast we'll be interacting...
(*Thinking to herself* Score for Konan!!)
Now, to the meeting....
Pein: And that's why I believe Santa isn't real! Does that answer your question Tobi?
Tobi: (Salutes) Yes sir!!
Tobi Looks at Zetsu and whispers: But I still believe in him.
Zetsu: (White Half) Glad to know, Tobi.
Zetsu: (Black Half) I don't care.
Zetsu: (White Half) How rude! *Whispers* Yet so true...
Deidara: Hmph, Tobi is such a nusciance.
Itachi: He is quite aggravating
Hidan: Oh come on guys! Say what you really mean! I hope he dies!
Sasori: Couldn't agree any more...
Kisame: He's an odd little beast for sure.
Kakuzu: I say we unmask him. We'll show him who's boss.
Pein: I'm the boss Kakuzu...
Hidan: So guys, who's in?
Kisame: I've been wondering what he looks like..
Itachi: Kisame, you've also been wondering why your dead goldfish won't talk to you. So your opinion doesn't really matter AT ALL.
Deidara: Kakazu, I'm sold. Let's unmask him, hm.
Kakuzu: Alright, but there's one requirement.
Hidan: All of you must bet as a team.
Itachi: Why?
Hidan: It seems fun!
Itachi: You just want to entertain yourself while killing him, don't you?
Hidan: Who wouldn't?
Kakuzu: So, are you guys in?
Sasori: It Couldn't hurt.
Deidara: I'm in, hm.
Itachi: I have nothing else to do. my Soaps don't come on until tommorrow anyway.
Kisame: It should be quite thrilling..Count me in.
Zetsu: (Black Half) I'll pass. I kind of like Tobi.
Zetsu: (White Half) Well, he is a good boy.
Kakuzu: Then it's settled. It will begin in thirty minutes.
Itachi: Why thirty minutes?
Kakuzu: We need to prepare.
Sasori: Prepare? Prepare for what?
Kakuzu: Just do it!
Sasori: Okay.....
Tobi: Were you guys talking about me!?!
Everyone, but Pein and Konan: No.
Tobi: Why not? I'm very popular!!
Itachi: Of course you are...
Konan: Meeting adjourned!
(Everyone leaves except Konan and Pein)
Pein: It seems the others want Tobi unmasked and killed aswell, Konan.
Konan: We'll just have to make it to Tobi before they do.
Pein: Should be interesting...
Konan: Wow, Pein, I can't believe your actually helping me with this and missing NCIS.
Pein: Anything for-
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: I forgot my-
(Tobi Slips and breaks the table thus spilling Pein's coffee on Konan)
Tobi: ....Crayon...
Konan: Tobi!!!
(Tobi, frantically, runs away)
Tobi: Ahhh!! Don't Hurt Tobi!!! Tobi is sorry!!!
Pein: Damn, my coffee....Konan, it's on! He will be punished!
Konan: Oooh, Pein, How manly. You know, I find that very attractive...
Pein: I am not surprised. I was taught by the best. Jeathro Gibbs AKA The Man.
Konan: Pein....(Shakes head)
30 minutes of preparing later..We join Sasori and Deidara in their pursuit!
Sasori: Are you ready?
Deidara: Yeah, hm. This plan if perfect.
Sasori: Yeah, it's even easier since it involves an idiot like Tobi!
Deidara: Alright, time to go.
In the living room where Tobi is watching TV....
Tobi: Wonder what's on TV...OH! Tobi loves Dora!!! Boots is a kinda a prick though..Oops Tobi said a bad word! HeHeHe....
Zetsu (Who's walking by) (White Half): He's talking to himself......why?
Zetsu (Black Half): Just keep walking..
(Zetsu walks away, while Deidara & Sasori walk in)
Deidara: Hey Tobi!
Tobi: Hello Deidara-Sempai!!!
Deidara: Do you want to go hang outside, hm?
Tobi: Tobi doesn't do drugs!
Sasori: *Thinking to himself* Drugs? What the hell...
Deidara: No, Tobi, I meant do you want to go play a game outside? Like....Hop....Scotch?
Sasori: *Thinking to Himself* Hop Scotch? What the hell? Seriously...
Tobi: Tobi doesn't play child games!
Deidara: You're joking right, hm?
Tobi: Yeah! I love games! Sempai, you know me all too well!
Deidara: Sadly....Well, hm, let's go outside!
Tobi: Yay!!!!
Sasori: *Thinking* Well, here it goes...
Outside...
Deidara: Tobi, you ready?
Tobi: Yes, sir! (Salutes)
Sasori: *Thinking* If All goes well he should walk directly into our trap, thus activating my already placed poisoned needles from above, which will strike and temporary paralyze him so we can secure his mask and see who he really is. Best Plan Ever! Woo!
Deidara: Now, Tobi, just stand there, hm.
Tobi: Okay.....Whaa!!
(Tobi falls and pushes Deidara into the trap thus paralyzing him)
Tobi: Deidara-Sempai!!! Oh No!!!
Sasori: Well, it seems I'll have to take care of this myself.
(Sasori dives at Tobi with a poisoned sword)
Sasori: Die!
(Tobi ducks and Sasori somehow manages to stab himself in the heart, barely)
Tobi: Did you say something?..........Guess not! Tobi's gonna go inside! Bye guys!!
(Tobi leaves)
Sasori: Damn. I can't move.
Deidara: Well you are a puppet, hm.
Sasori: Ahhhh!!!! Just shut up!!
Deidara: Why, hm?
Sasori: One: You're giving me a MAJOR headache AGAIN!
Two: I will kill you if you don't shut up!!!
Deidara: Heh, maybe...in the next five hours!!!
Sasori: I'm in hell!!!!!
Sasori & Deidara: Tobi!!!!!!!!!!
Now on to Hidan & Kakuzu's attempt..
In Hidan & Kakuzu's room...
Hidan: See, this is the perfect plan.
Kakuzu: Maybe, but Don't let your ego get in the way, Hidan, or it won't work.
Hidan: Kakuzu, it'll work. Oh and by the way, don't open your damn mouth again.
Kakuzu: I'm starting to wonder why everyone isn't hunting for you!!!
Hidan: Well, here's the thing, I don't give a fu-
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: Hey guys!!
Hidan: Oh, hey Tobi....
Tobi: Whatcha doing?
Hidan: We are plotting to unmask and then kill y...
(Hidan and Kakuzu look at each other)
Kakuzu: Now!
Hidan: Gotcha! Hey, Tobi!
Tobi: Yo? I iz here!
Hidan: Time to die!!
Tobi: My hair?
(Hidan throws his scythe, but Tobi ducks)
Tobi: Oh, I get it. You want to kill me.
Kakuzu: Yes, we do.
Tobi: Oh....Oh GAWD!!!!!!!!! I'm outta here!!!!
Kakuzu: Get him!
Hidan: It wouldn't kill you to be nice once in awhile.
Kakuzu: Okay. Pardon me Hidan, but go get him now!!! Or I will slice your worhless body up so bad it'll be beyond recognition!!!!!
Hidan: Is That a threat?!
Kakuzu: What do you think?!
Tobi: Ah!!!! They're after me!!!!
(Tobi runs in and hits Kakuzu and Hidan. Hidan's scythe pierces him and Kakuzu to the wall. Hidan is back first against the wall while Hidan is sideways back first against Hidan's stomach)
Tobi: Guys!! Hurry! Hidan and Kaku..
(Notices he's back in their room and he caused a huge accident).
Tobi: Oh my....Ah!!!!!!!! Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Tobi runs away)
Hidan: Get off of me!!!!
Kakuzu: This is your fault!!!
Hidan: Oh, Jashin...Get this idiot's back off of my amazing abbs!!!
Kakuzu: Atleast your not sideways! And your abbs are only amazing on Clash of Ninja Revolution Three!
Hidan: Well look at it like this! I'm straight and you're not! HaHaHaha! Ah, gay jokes...
Kakuzu: I'm going to kill you!!!!!!!
(Kakuzu & Hidan attempt to fight, failing badly)
Hidan: Damn you Tobi!!!
Kakuzu: Tobi, you're dead!!!! Count on it!!! I will kill you!!!
Hidan: No, Kakuzu, I will kill him!
Kakuzu: I didn't ask for your opinion!!!!
Hidan: Shut it Kakuzu!!!!
Kakuzu: Hidan, you are dead!!!!!
Hidan: Oh, whatever!
Onward to Pein and Konan's journey to acquire Tobi's mask...
In the hallway...
Pein: I'm starting to doubt this plan of yours.
Konan: Pein, believe me, it WILL work!
Pein: Well, I suppose. But if it fails, he will probably kill us.
Konan: It will not fail and besides, IF it did, he wouldn't kill us because he needs us.
Pein: Well, we are pretty amazing.
Konan: That's the spirit!
Pein: Yeah....spirit...Speaking of spirit, don't forget our deal.
Konan: I won't...Wait here he comes!
Pein: Good for him, I guess. By the way, who is he?
Konan: Tobi!!!
Pein: *Laughs* Tobi who???
Konan: Get serious!
Pein: I am!
Konan: Sorry for screaming, Pein.
Pein: Sorry for having FUN!!!!
Konan: Don't get so touchy!
Pein: Really? WOW. All you want to do is get touchy!
Konan: Atleast I'm not addicted to a Stupid show!!!
Pein: TAKE THAT BACK!
Konan: AND WHAT IF I DON'T?!
(Tobi walks up to them)
Tobi: Hey guys!!!!
Pein & Konan: Not Now Tobi!!!!!!
Tobi: Kay!!! See you guys later!!
(Tobi Salutes and Walks away)
Pein: Konan, just leave me alone!!!
Konan: You know what, I hate you!!
Pein: And I hate you!!!!
Konan: AND I HATE NCIS!
(Pein and Konan have a stare down And then part ways)
Now on to Itachi and Kisame.....
In another hallway...
Kisame: Now to find that little beast!
Itachi: Do you call everyone a beast? It's more annoying than that rap song called Beast Mode. Rap is stupid for the record.
Kisame: Well, I-
Itachi: Just don't answer it.
Kisame: Seems the beast found us...here he comes!
Itachi: There is so many things wrong with that sentence...
Kisame: Sshhh!!! He's coming!
Itachi: Ssh, me one more time and I'll give Tobi your head as a Christmas Ornament!
Kisame: Sorry, but it's time.. Itachi Go!
Itachi: I am not a pokemon, Kisame.
Kisame: Sorry.
(Tobi walks up to Kisame and Itachi)
Tobi: Itachi, Kisame! Hey guys!!
Itachi: (*Thinking* Okay, concentrate): Tobi, will you remove your mask?
Tobi: Nope!
Kisame: (*Thinking* Last chance): Please!
Tobi: Nope!
Kisame: Well I have don't have any more ideas...
Itachi: Neither do I... I guess I'll see you guys later then...
Kisame: Yeah, later...
Tobi: Bye!!!!
To the living room containing numerous failed attempts...
Zetsu: (White half): You guys look..
Zetsu: (Black half): Ruined, full of failure.
Zetsu: (White Half): Well put.
Zetsu: (Black half): Always is.
Deidara: Well, I'm so happy you're so concerned about all us, hm!
Sasori: I couldn't move for 3 hours!
I had to hear his (Points to Deidara) damn mouth FOREVER.
Hidan: You thought you had it bad, think again! I was stuck to Kakuzu. He kept running That stitched up money obsessed mouth of his!
Kakuzu: Hidan! I'm right here! Think before you act!
Hidan: Oh, I thought!
Kakuzu: Well I'm gonna act!
Pein: Both of you stop arguing! I've had enough of arguing today!
Deidara: Ouch, that hurt.
Sasori: Someone's angry.
Hidan: This anger fears Jashin!
Kakuzu: I was just going to tell all of you, my good friends, how Zetsu helped me and Hidan down.
Konan: Oh, shut up!
Pein: Don't be mean to them! They are my friends!
Konan: Don't tell me what to do!
Pein: Why not? I am Pain!
Konan: Keep talking and you'll experience TRUE PAIN!
Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, & Kakuzu: Oooo!!
(Pein & Konan give them an evil glare)
Deidara: I'm outta here, hm.
Hidan: I gotta go pray!
Kakuzu: Deal or No Deal is on, later!
Sasori: Well, (Smiles) Look at the ti-
(Sasori Leaves before finishing)
Pein: Hmph.
Konan: About time they left...
Pein: Well, we were pretty frightening.
Konan: Yeah...
Pein: I'm sorry for getting mad at you.
Konan: ....
Pein: I undersand why your mad..I guess I'll be on my way then..
Konan (Interupting him): Let's go.
Pein: Go? Go where?
Konan: Remember our deal?
Pein: Deal?
Konan: (Leaning against Pein) Remember, I'm Abby tonight! Let's go!
Pein: No, the deal is off.
Konan (Gets off Pein) :Wh-What?
Pein: You heard me.
Konan: I see..You're still mad...
Pein: Yes, because from now on I desire you, Konan, not Abby, Kate, or anyone else!
Konan: R-Really?!
Pein: Let's go!
Konan: Alright!
Pein: I am truley a God! Next to Jeathro Gibbs of course...And Chuck Norris....And Patrick Star...And....
Konan: Pein?!
Pein: Coming!
(Both Leave)
In the bathroom...
Tobi: I love brushing my Teeth! Whoops, gotta remove my mask!
(Takes mask off)
Tobi: It feels so relaxing to finnaly take that mask off.
(Itachi walks in)
Itachi: Oh, hey.
Tobi: I-tach-I....
Itachi: I was washing my clothes earlier. I think they should be done by now.
(Itachi gets his clothes and leaves while Kisame walks in)
Kisame: Oh, I didn't notice that anyone was in here. I have to get my slippers. My feet kill me in the morning.
(Kisame grabs his slippers and leaves while Itachi walks in again)
Itachi: Seems I forgot my socks. Sorry.
(Itachi leaves while Kisame walks in again...)
Kisame: I grabbed the wrong pair of slippers..Excuse me.
(Grabs his slippers)
Kisame: These are mine. Goodnight.
(Kisame leaves)
Tobi: Okay....
(Looks around)
Tobi: Wait, where's the toothpaste? Nooo!!!!!!
(In Itachi and Kisame's room)
Kisame: I wonder where Tobi was tonight.
Itachi: Probably hiding.
Kisame: Maybe. Wonder who that was in the bathroom tonight...
Itachi: Hm.. Whoever it was certainly looked very familiar.. We probably should have checked it out..... I wonder what he was doing here anyway.
Kisame: Probably visiting...
Itachi: Maybe, but what if...
Kisame: You don't think.
(Itachi smiles)
Kisame: You think he...
Itachi: Yes...
Kisame: I knew it! That man we saw is secretly Tobi in disguise!
Itachi: No, Kisame, that's just stupid. It's obvious that the man we saw, wanted to join The Akatsuki!
Kisame: Oh....That's too bad...
Itachi: Yeah, the spot is already taken by Tobi.
Kisame: You know, I actually think Tobi is a good boy...
Itachi: I think I don't care...so, I don't care, Kisame!
Kisame: Itachi, You are not a good boy.
Itachi: Oh god....
The End.
