Alright, by popular demand, I, Thane, shall write the epic "Sasuke the misunderstood kitty lover"
Sasuke Uchiha, the sole survivor of the Uchiha Orphanage for Sweet and Puppy-eyed Children, felt so misunderstood.
'Nobody understands my feelings!', the dark-haired puppy-eyed kid said, as he was surrounded by fangirls, an awesome teacher and a friend with a heart of gold.
So Sasuke left the village, sickened by the town's complete and utter disregard.
"It's not like they'll care anyway! At least I have you, Ser-Pounce-a-Lot!" Sasuke said solemnly to his cat.
After a few years, he returned, determined to extract vengeance. He wasn't sure of what, exactly, but dammit, he deserved retribution!
"Sasuke! Thank Kami! We've been worried sick!"
"I'm here to destroy the village, you blond boy of questionable sexuality!"
"You can't do that! Why woul...wait...you doubt my sexuality?"
"Well, duh! You kept clinging onto me as if you were a moth and I a flame"
"Okay, first off, if you're gonna speak in metaphors, I'm pretty sure you're the one who drives your car on the other side of the road if you know what I mean. Also, have you looked at your clothes lately?"
"What about them?"
"Well, don't you think it's showing a lot of chest? I mean, not even Tsunade shows that much, and she's only here for fan service"
"My GOD, you are right! But enough of that! I'm here to kill you Naruto!"
"Dude, WHY?!"
"Because I bet somehow you were all responsible for the orphanage massacre!"
"Wait, what? Why?"
"Itachi would never have done that without a reason!"
"Wait, so you're just gonna randomly judge people who might have known about the reason of the massacre? Even those who weren't even born at that time?"
"Clearly. What's your point?"
"Even though everybody here gave you everything you could ever ask for on a silver platter?"
"Pretty much. Why?"
And that was how Naruto found out following someone blindly is mighty stupid.
Next up: Madara goes shoe shopping.