This is you.
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This is what you sound like 9/10. I'm gonn post this image from now on whenever you say something completely derpy. Expect to see it alot.
OT: You cannot possible believe that Orochimaru was fighting sasuke seriously in the forest of death, with the same level of seriousness that he fought the Third Hokage. He was playing around with them so much it wasn't funny. Even with playing around he eventually got bored and beat the shit out of sasuke before sealing him.
He's a kage level ninja, he doesn't need a giant summon to beat a pair of genin. If he took them at all seriously they'd be dead so fast it would be funny. Ignoring all the lulzy shit he could do like edo tensai sasuke's parents and neji's uncle, he'd still beat them in every possible way. Hell if he was lazy he could just keep spamming his kiling intent at them until they had heart attacks.