UchihaBrat
Active member
Before reading:
Chapter one if you haven't experienced its beauty already:
Just like how some of you read in the first chapter thread, this is a parody, nothing is meant to be taken as me insinuating anything about anyone on NB >,>. I might just make it a bit obvious, sometimes, with the names, but I suppose I'm saved by their ambiguous meanings
Also, strong language warning as well as randomness warning.
Here are some important info about some references before you read
Part 2~
Chapter one if you haven't experienced its beauty already:
You must be registered for see links
Just like how some of you read in the first chapter thread, this is a parody, nothing is meant to be taken as me insinuating anything about anyone on NB >,>. I might just make it a bit obvious, sometimes, with the names, but I suppose I'm saved by their ambiguous meanings
Also, strong language warning as well as randomness warning.Here are some important info about some references before you read
Part 2~
~Miscalculation~
Picking ourselves up at where we left off last time, we head towards the wide valley where we find our dutiful and beloved Caleyburn.
After having heard his grandmother's words, Caleyburn stood up slowly, showing nature, with all its wondrous creatures, what could only be described as "evolution," naked as he was.
He finished his ceremony steadily, looking out over the lonesome valley where he was all alone, or so he thought.
Somehow, he had been completely oblivious of his grandmother's existence throughout his whole life and had rationally reasoned the voice speaking of a nagajuban every now and then to be an illusion created by his cry for friends.
After having heard his grandmother's words, Caleyburn stood up slowly, showing nature, with all its wondrous creatures, what could only be described as "evolution," naked as he was.
He finished his ceremony steadily, looking out over the lonesome valley where he was all alone, or so he thought.
Somehow, he had been completely oblivious of his grandmother's existence throughout his whole life and had rationally reasoned the voice speaking of a nagajuban every now and then to be an illusion created by his cry for friends.
Caleyburn: I better get going then!
Caleyburn said as he rushed towards the run-down cottage he lived in.
After having lost his way a couple of times, rescuing a cat stuck in a tree, falling down a cliff and wrestled a boar, he decided he could no longer rely on his sense of direction. He dutifully activated his APhone, which had survived somehow, and started a GPS(Get Practical Simulator) app, getting lost a few more times then finally arrived at the cottage.
After having lost his way a couple of times, rescuing a cat stuck in a tree, falling down a cliff and wrestled a boar, he decided he could no longer rely on his sense of direction. He dutifully activated his APhone, which had survived somehow, and started a GPS(Get Practical Simulator) app, getting lost a few more times then finally arrived at the cottage.
Caleyburn: Can't. Trust. Technology!
Caleyburn puffed, exhausted, bruised and covered in mud as he was.
He entered the cottage and dressed in the nagajuban, finished his dressing himself quickly. He then looked at the dark-green marimos he had grown with love and care since the day he was born, through a hole in the wall, out there on the fields.
Checking the old computer where he received updates on requests, he read info about wee-wee enhancement, marrying an asian wife for free and finally about the incident in the classroom(because it was a magical computer so it held all this info!), crying at some parts, wailing at others, for Caleyburn was a very sympathetic boy.
He finished reading and felt utter disgust when reading about how Izuna 'rudeboy' Uchiwa had treated Mugiwarui.
He swung the door open with an elegant, but determined move and took a seat upon the shiny bicycle he had stolen, from a thief, which he considered a noble deed. Just as he had journeyed a few meters, he heard the voice again.
Grandma Lawless: Don't forget to ask the nice police officer for some directions, dear boy.
Sending a shiver down his spine, Caleyburn paced up the pedaling while singing 'Get Back' by Ludacris, out loudly so that he wouldn't hear the voice again.
Caleyburn: 'Get back mother f*cker you don't know me like that~!
Is what you could hear the poor boy sing, almost yell, in sheer desperation.
~
Mugiwarui lay on the bed in his parents' room, where he slept still, afraid that he would be snatched away by the monsters from under his own bed, which Scary Yamagochi said had once happened to him.
In actuality, the two of them had a pajama party/sleepover at the time, and Yamagochi had just missed his parents so much he left without telling anyone, which of course had left Mugiwarui in despair, not knowing whether Yamagochi had been kidnapped or not. He started getting sleepy and soon found himself in a dreamscape with perverted bears interested in young boys' bodies.
~
Caleyburn closed in on his destination, or that's what he dubiously thought when he left on a journey which usually took half an hour, 5 hours ago. Not on his bike any more, having left it with a nice-looking man calling himself Yakuza(Caleyburn did not know this word), whom had promised to hold it for him, Caleyburn made his way through the neighbourhood and finally found the place.
Mugiwarui whom was still dreaming, shouting at times in his sleep, did not know what awaited him this dark night with no moon.
Caleyburn silently scaled the fence defining the Mugiwaruis' property. He crossed the lawn, patted the Mugiwaruis' sleeping dog once, because he was friend of all animals, then silently climbed one side of the house. It was difficult because of the Kimono, but he managed to somehow reach the window of Mugiwarui's room, which was conveniently open so as to vent out that boyish sweaty smell, a smell Caleyburn found slightly arousing.
He entered the room effortlessly as he had entered many windows before, and searched the room for a light-switch since he had sunglasses on and couldn't see well.
He found the switch eventually, after having miraculously gotten lost inside a room.
To his terror, but not surprise, he witnessed a room filled with hatred. All over the walls he found writings and rants about a guy named Izuna 'rudeboy' Uchiwa. Some examples of what he saw were: "Izuna loves principal Rey!!,"Izuna is ugly!," "Go Naruto!," "If you cross-breed a cow with the broken mop the janitor uses, what do you get?! You get Izuna!!" and other horrible things we cannot name in this story.
Seeing this, Caleyburn felt a deep sorrow for the one who wrote these, he pitied him. But he knew that he had a duty to fulfil! So Caleyburn looked over at the bed, which was empty, and was struck by fear. Had he entered the wrong window?? It had never happened before, and left Caleyburn helplessly desperate.
Mugiwarui slept now silently between his understanding parents, whom had never wanted for Mugiwarui to get his own room to begin with.
Caleyburn finally reached the correct room, an hour before sunrise, still dark outside. He had taken the sunglasses off and saw clearly the family members sleeping in the bed. He soundlessly crept in between Mugiwarui and his mother, not waking anyone, and suddenly blushed violently! This boy in front of him were like no other boy he had ever met before! What a beautiful face! And there was nothing wrong with the rest of the body, he had felt while creeping to where he was, heart beating with a shameless pace. He quickly turned around, waking the mother, whom only thought it to be Mugiwarui wanting to be comforted by his mothers' warm embrace. She embraced Caleyburn and noticed how something was poking her in the lower regions on her body. . She knew immediately what it was and without mercy, she threw Caleyburn, thinking it was her son, into the wall, breaking it so that he landed on the other side in the hallway.
Caleyburn: 'Get back mother f*cker you don't know me like that~!
Is what you could hear the poor boy sing, almost yell, in sheer desperation.
~
Mugiwarui lay on the bed in his parents' room, where he slept still, afraid that he would be snatched away by the monsters from under his own bed, which Scary Yamagochi said had once happened to him.
In actuality, the two of them had a pajama party/sleepover at the time, and Yamagochi had just missed his parents so much he left without telling anyone, which of course had left Mugiwarui in despair, not knowing whether Yamagochi had been kidnapped or not. He started getting sleepy and soon found himself in a dreamscape with perverted bears interested in young boys' bodies.
~
Caleyburn closed in on his destination, or that's what he dubiously thought when he left on a journey which usually took half an hour, 5 hours ago. Not on his bike any more, having left it with a nice-looking man calling himself Yakuza(Caleyburn did not know this word), whom had promised to hold it for him, Caleyburn made his way through the neighbourhood and finally found the place.
Mugiwarui whom was still dreaming, shouting at times in his sleep, did not know what awaited him this dark night with no moon.
Caleyburn silently scaled the fence defining the Mugiwaruis' property. He crossed the lawn, patted the Mugiwaruis' sleeping dog once, because he was friend of all animals, then silently climbed one side of the house. It was difficult because of the Kimono, but he managed to somehow reach the window of Mugiwarui's room, which was conveniently open so as to vent out that boyish sweaty smell, a smell Caleyburn found slightly arousing.
He entered the room effortlessly as he had entered many windows before, and searched the room for a light-switch since he had sunglasses on and couldn't see well.
He found the switch eventually, after having miraculously gotten lost inside a room.
To his terror, but not surprise, he witnessed a room filled with hatred. All over the walls he found writings and rants about a guy named Izuna 'rudeboy' Uchiwa. Some examples of what he saw were: "Izuna loves principal Rey!!,"Izuna is ugly!," "Go Naruto!," "If you cross-breed a cow with the broken mop the janitor uses, what do you get?! You get Izuna!!" and other horrible things we cannot name in this story.
Seeing this, Caleyburn felt a deep sorrow for the one who wrote these, he pitied him. But he knew that he had a duty to fulfil! So Caleyburn looked over at the bed, which was empty, and was struck by fear. Had he entered the wrong window?? It had never happened before, and left Caleyburn helplessly desperate.
Mugiwarui slept now silently between his understanding parents, whom had never wanted for Mugiwarui to get his own room to begin with.
Caleyburn finally reached the correct room, an hour before sunrise, still dark outside. He had taken the sunglasses off and saw clearly the family members sleeping in the bed. He soundlessly crept in between Mugiwarui and his mother, not waking anyone, and suddenly blushed violently! This boy in front of him were like no other boy he had ever met before! What a beautiful face! And there was nothing wrong with the rest of the body, he had felt while creeping to where he was, heart beating with a shameless pace. He quickly turned around, waking the mother, whom only thought it to be Mugiwarui wanting to be comforted by his mothers' warm embrace. She embraced Caleyburn and noticed how something was poking her in the lower regions on her body. . She knew immediately what it was and without mercy, she threw Caleyburn, thinking it was her son, into the wall, breaking it so that he landed on the other side in the hallway.
Caleyburn: Ouch!! What in the name of Buddha?!!
Now everyone had woken, and the mother had reached the switch and knew that something was wrong when she saw Mugiwarui still in bed,
Mother: A burglar!! There's a burglar in the house! And he was lying in the bed right next to me!! Grab him!
The last things Caleyburn saw before he fainted were some swift hands and then a wall.
To be continued.
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