It's for a special someone..

[ITACHIUCHIA101]

I see your face in random people on the street
I think of you all night
I no longer sleep
You mean the world to me
No, not just metaphorically
This is real
You and I were meant to be
So please don't flee

When you hear this
You know I can't love you anymore
I love you more than life
I could never bore

Of us
You mean so much to me
So on this track I plead...
Will you marry me?

- Tobias Williams

Uh, I wrote that for my girlfriend..
I understand that I'm not the best and it defiantly could be better.
I just want to know if you think she would like it or if I should start over from scratch or make it longer?


I wrote her one before (In my opinion it was much worse.) and she loved it and she still has it on her wall so I'm sure she will say she likes either way but..

 

[AllomnisymbolsparttwoT]

Omg, dude that was BEAUTIFUL *O* I am sure she would love it, if you want to marry your sweetheart go for it bro! :I

 

[ITACHIUCHIA101]

Omg, dude that was BEAUTIFUL *O* I am sure she would love it, if you want to marry your sweetheart go for it bro! :I

Thanks man, that means a lot!
I am really nervous about showing it to her though :00000

 

[kyuubirocks]

not too shabby,man I like it

 

[roner]

Damn..thats nice!!!!!!

 

[narutocentral]

That was good bro!.
I also like to write poems. Its so easy when you have someone special as your inspiration.

Here goes mine

THe time away from you i despise
I find thousands of adventures in your eyes
Their's never really a good time for byes
I want you with me oh so much
Like a fat kid waiting at the table for pies
Your figure is quenching to the eyes
Somewhere inside you an amazonian lies
But when i see you miss Jayna ******(last name)
Your a vivid portrait like the colorado sunrise.

Haha i felt inspired to post this cuz of your poem

 

[ITACHIUCHIA101]

not too shabby,man I like it

Damn..thats nice!!!!!!

Thank you guyssss! D
I feel way better about it now :3

 

[AllomnisymbolsparttwoT]

Thanks man, that means a lot!
I am really nervous about showing it to her though :00000

it's ok bro, just take a deep breath, choose a time for you all to meet up, perharps a date, to add more surprise to the event, let it be all normal and stuff and then give her the note' after she reads the note, present the ring to her

 

[ITACHIUCHIA101]

it's ok bro, just take a deep breath, choose a time for you all to meet up, perharps a date, to add more surprise to the event, let it be all normal and stuff and then give her the note' after she reads the note, present the ring to her

On a normal occasion I would do it on Valentine's Day (Super cheesy I know xD) but her and her family go to Virginia around then D:

 

[roner]

your lucky dude.I dont have a date in valentines day.. :-(

 

[ITACHIUCHIA101]

your lucky dude.I dont have a date in valentines day.. :-(

Last year I went to target and asked a random clerk to be my Valentine and she shot me down xD

 

[kral]

Awesome dude! I've only had a girl on vday once in my entire 26 years of life! So go for it! Trust me she will love it

 

[roner]

Awesome dude! I've only had a girl on vday once in my entire 26 years of life! So go for it! Trust me she will love it

hahaha..in my 22 yrs..i only dated one girl.

Last year I went to target and asked a random clerk to be my Valentine and she shot me down xD

hahah..i have a crush..i gave her chocolates..then she.stopped txting me..

 

[Kishi Uzumaki]

It's a very good poem :yeah:

 

[brownbear]

go get'er romeo!!!

 

[KellBell101]

I wish you the best of luck! Go get her!

 

[Ψ Veritas Ψ]

I see your face in random people on the street
I think of you all night
I no longer sleep
You mean the world to me
No, not just metaphorically
This is real
You and I were meant to be
So please don't flee

When you hear this
You know I can't love you anymore
I love you more than life
I could never bore

Of us
You mean so much to me
So on this track I plead...
Will you marry me?

- Tobias Williams

Uh, I wrote that for my girlfriend..
I understand that I'm not the best and it defiantly could be better.
I just want to know if you think she would like it or if I should start over from scratch or make it longer?


I wrote her one before (In my opinion it was much worse.) and she loved it and she still has it on her wall so I'm sure she will say she likes either way but..

Where is the rhyme?

Nice words though, put some rhymes in between to make it more like a poem.


let me make an example especially for you


I think of you all day, everyday
I ponder at your every say
I no longer sleep at night
without you nothing feels right

I see your face at every sunrise and sunset
I've loved you ever since we met
You fill my heart with sunbeams
Reality feels better than dreams

You mean the world to me
Youre all I can see
I wish you at my bosom
In all the days to come

I loved you always and still
more than the seas and the skies could fill
I love you more than life
So will you do me the honor
of becoming my Wife?


sorry its just a scrap poem i made just now to show you what i mean i have written much better poems