The Warrior
Banned
have u read this, its kinda funny in some areas, in others its retarded but u decide for urself lol
After a meeting with Akatsuki, Kisame and Itachi were strolling through a small town outside the Land of Fire. Their straw hats concealed their appearances to everyone around them. The town was small, and a haven for criminals, shift individuals, or people who just didn't want to be found. They needed to head through this town to get food, and any other supplies they needed for their travels.
"Wait here," Itachi said to Kisame before he walked up to a nearby food stand. Kisame looked around the streets, just in case there was anyone who recognized them as Akatsuki.
"Hey stranger," a deep, almost scary voice whispered. Kisame turned to a dark alley, seeing a man slumped over, wearing a trench coat and a mask to cover his face. "Got something that might interest ya." The man pulled open his coat, revealing a ton of herbs attached to the inside of his coat.
"Sorry, not interested," Kisame replied.
"Come on stranger, you and your partner look like men of danger! Surely you'd need herbs to heal your wounds with right?" Kisame sneered, showing his razor sharp teeth. To the merchant's credit, he didn't seem too affected by the swordsman's teeth.
"I have my own ways of healing, and my partner never gets touched in battle. We're not too worried about our wounds old man."
"Ah, but my herbs don't just heal ya. I have herbs for a ton of different illnesses." Kisame chuckled a bit, shaking his head as he turned to Itachi, politely waiting on the food merchant to get his order.
"Unless you've got something that can help my partner see, then I don't think-,"
"Needs ta see things ya say," the merchant asked. "I got a special herb for that." This now captivated Kisame's interest. The merchant pulled out a bag of green looking grass and held it before the shark-man's face. "Ever customer comes to me and says this helps them see things, things they've never noticed or seen before. They say it makes all the senses in the body more acute and makes ya more alert!" Kisame placed his hand to his chin, examining the grass for a moment with interest.
"How does this help people see things," Kisame inquired.
"They roll it up, and then…they smoke it!" The Akatsuki member jerked his head back, questioning the man's judgment.
"They smoke grass," Kisame repeated with outrage. "What kind of crazy stuff are you selling old man?" The merchant turned to a nearby civilian then took a step towards him.
"Stranger, you want to buy some of this?" The bystander looked at the bag then quickly handed the merchant a bag full of money. The merchant handed the bag of grass over to the man then walked back to Kisame as the citizen ran off, desperately hanging onto his bag. To say the least: Kisame was shocked to see a random person on the street freaking out over a bag of grass. "What do ya say now stranger?"
"I'll take a bag," Kisame replied, giving in as he reached into his pouch for some money. The two exchanged their goods, and placed them safely away on their person.
"Kisame," Itachi called out.
"Coming," the blue skinned partner called out. "Thanks for the stuff." The merchant nodded once to Kisame. The Akatsuki member turned into the street and followed his partner down the street.
"What was that about," Itachi asked.
"I'll show you once we're out of the village," Kisame replied.
A few hours later of gathering and buying supplies, the Akatsuki duo headed out of down and wandered aimlessly through the forests until the sun started to set. The two set a pile of firewood between them then sat down across from one another.
"So what did you buy back in that town?" Kisame smirked, finding it interesting that Itachi could remember something as minor as him making a small purchase hours ago.
"Well, this one merchant was selling herbs," Kisame began. "At first I told him we didn't need any, but he kept insisting and told me about this special herb he had." Itachi remained still, staring at his partner to continue. Kisame was a little aggravated, thinking that maybe Itachi could show just a little interest. "He said this herb made people see things," Kisame continued, reaching back for the bag. He revealed the tiny baggy to Itachi, showing the dark green grass inside.
"How is grass supposed to help my eyesight," Itachi questioned.
"I'm not sure," Kisame admitted. "He said people smoked it to get the effects. He sold a bag like this to some stranger on the street for a ton of cash right on the spot. That merchant knew how to make a sale. He only asked one question, and the guy practically emptied his pockets for this." Itachi stared at the bag solemnly, blinking once as he examined it. Finally, Itachi snapped his eyes up to Kisame.
"I'll smoke it if you smoke it…"
"What, why do I have to smoke it?"
"You bought it," Itachi replied. "The least you could do is use your own product."
"It's not my product, it's that merchant's product!"
"Then you should've made him smoke it." Kisame cringed a bit. Itachi cracked a smirk, knowing he won the argument. The Uchiha member leaned forward, holding his hand out.
"We need to roll it up with something," Kisame stated. "You got anything we can use?" Itachi shook his head. "Well, I guess I can use the bandages from Samehada." Kisame grabbed the wrappings on his sword then pulled some off, tearing off a long piece of it. The shark-man pulled out some of the grass then placed it on the bandage and rolled it up into a cigarette. "Can ya light me up?" Itachi made a few hand signs then held his two fingers next to his mouth.
"Fire ball jutsu!" The Uchiha member sent a wave of fire out, setting the camp fire and lighting the cigarette in the process. Kisame stood in awe, looking at the cigarette for a moment before turning back to his partner.
"A little extreme, but it got the job done nevertheless…" Kisame stared at his partner who gave him that expectant stare. The shark-man sighed then put the tip of the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled deeply. Kisame removed the cigarette then started coughing. He handed it off to his partner, who quickly took it.
"You okay," Itachi asked.
"Yeah," Kisame replied between coughs. "Just a bit light headed!"
"Does it help?"
"How should I know? I'm not blind." Itachi looked at the rolled up bit of grass with skepticism. "Take the hit man!" Itachi closed his eyes and sighed deeply to himself before taking a drag from the cigarette. The Uchiha member started coughing just as Kisame had earlier. Itachi covered his mouth, trying to control his coughs. "How do ya feel…?"
"Kinda…kinda dizzy…" Itachi looked over to Kisame. "Whoa, dude…do you have gills on your face?" Kisame lifted his hand up to his cheek, running his hand all over his face.
"I don't think so…why?"
"Because if you do then we need to get you in the water or else you'll die," Itachi replied.
"OH SHIT!"
"Don't worry, don't worry," Itachi assured. "I don't think you're dead…"
"You sure," Kisame asked. Itachi narrowed his eye for a moment before taking another puff of the cigarette.
"I'm pretty sure you're not dead…" Itachi held the cigarette out to Kisame. The shark-man took it and inhaled deeply. Kisame wheezed a bit and let out a stifled cough.
"This shit is pretty sweet," Kisame admitted. "Hey wait a second…" Kisame leaned forward, staring intently at Itachi's face. "Hey Itachi…"
"What," the Uchiha member asked.
"Did you know that you got lines on your face," Kisame questioned, tracing the lines on his own face with his finger tip. Itachi placed his hand on his face then started rubbing his skin. Kisame snickered mockingly as his partner futilely tried rubbing the stress lines off his face. "Dude, I don't think they're coming off!" Itachi moved his eyes down, making a strange face as he tried to see the lines himself. Kisame's body shook as he snickered once again at Itachi. "You look funny." Itachi glared at Kisame, taking the rolled up grass from him and then taking another hit.
"And you're blue…DUDE YOU'RE BLUE!"
"WHAT?" Kisame lifted his hands up and looked at his hands with a dreaded look on his face. "! I'M BLUE!"
"Why didn't we notice this before," Itachi asked himself.
"How long have I been blue!"
"I don't know man. I thought you would've known it by looking in a mirror or something." Kisame's hands trembled at the realization that his skin color was totally out of the ordinary. "Dude, you got some scary ass eyes too…"
"Look who's talking," Kisame fired back, still upset about the blue skin. "You got that crazy Sharingan! Your eyes are red!"
"Of course they are, my Sharingan is active Kisame."
"No, I mean around the Sharingan," Kisame went on. "Your entire eye is red!"
"Shit, do we have eye drops?"
"Um…you think that we would have those for you at the very least." Kisame took the cigarette from Itachi then took a puff. "Shit, we're almost out of this stuff."
"You got more of that stuff right?"
"What stuff," Kisame asked dumbly.
"That stuff," Itachi repeated, pointing to the rolled up grass.
"This stuff," Kisame asked, pointing to his sword.
"No not that stuff, that stuff!"
"What stuff?"
"THAT STUFF!"
"Which stuff? This stuff," Kisame pointed to his sleeve before grabbing a bush and tearing it from the ground, "This stuff?"
"No, none of that stuff!"
"Then what stuff?" Itachi pointed to the rolled up grass, but still Kisame didn't understand. "This stuff," Kisame asked, pulling out a snake from a bush.
"Not that stuff! Orochimaru is into that stuff!"
"Then what stuff?"
"The stuff in your hands!" Kisame looked at his empty hand then held it out to Itachi.
"This skin stuff?"
"Not that stuff! That other stuff!" Kisame looked in his other hand, seeing the rolled up cigarette in his hand.
"What's this stuff?"
"That grass stuff."
"Oh right, this stuff, yeah, we got plenty of this stuff."
"Good stuff Kisame," Itachi replied with a huge grin on his face. Kisame started snickering again, almost dropping the cigarette in the process. "What?"
"You, smiling, it's funny looking!"
"I've smiled before."
"No one tells me this stuff." Kisame handed the rolled up grass to Itachi, who grabbed it and took the last hit from it before tossing it into the fire. Kisame tore off more of his sword's wrappings, and rolled up another pinch of grass.
"Put more of that shit in there," Itachi ordered. Kisame shrugged then added another pinch-full of grass before rolling it up. "Uh…what was the name of that jutsu I used?"
"Uh…fire ball jutsu?"
"Right, fire ball jutsu!" Itachi made a series of hand signs then exhaled a wave of flame, setting the cigarette on fire, and catching a part of Kisame's cloak on fire as well. "Oh damn, are you okay?"
"Yeah, hold this." Kisame tossed the cigarette to Itachi. The Uchiha member grabbed the cigarette then took a long drag of the rolled up piece of grass. Kisame made a continuation of hand signs then unleashed a massive blast of water from his mouth, soaking his arm and flooding a large section of the forest. Itachi took another puff of the cigarette, watching the water rush into the forest. The Uchiha member exhaled slowly, letting a cloud of smoke coming out of his mouth. "Dude, give me that!"
Kisame greedily snatched the roll of grass from his partner. Itachi started at Kisame, whose arm was completely soaked to the bone. The shark-man took a long drag then exhaled slowly, letting an alarming amount of smoke come out.
"Hey Kisame," Itachi spoke up after a moment. "What do you think our leader is going to do with the tailed beasts?"
"Um…open up a petting zoo?" Itachi took the grass from Kisame then took a long drag from it.
"That's deep dude…"
"What do you think is going to happen when we get all those tailed beasts?" Itachi scrunched his face together, staring up into the air to think.
"Open a petting zoo?"
"DUDE! I totally thought that too!"
"SWEET!" Itachi fell on his side, holding his stomach as he cackled while Kisame threw his head back and howled with laughter. "Hey Kisame, I heard Kakuzu say that your had a giant sword to compensate for something."
"What's that mean," Kisame asked.
"It means he thinks you have a big sword because you have a small ****."
"WHAT? I'LL KILL THAT BASTARD! Five times over again!"
"Can I watch," Itachi asked, leaning forward. "I've never seen a shark fight a zombie before! It'll be cool!"
"Sounds great, but where are you going to get the shark from?" Itachi paused for a moment, placing his hand to his chin.
"Good question…" Itachi handed the cigarette off to Kisame who took a puff of it. The Uchiha member looked over to Kisame, his eyes widening with realization. "Kisame! You look like a shark! You could be the shark!" Kisame suddenly coughed furiously, letting out cloud after cloud of smoke. "You okay?"
"I look like a shark," Kisame asked between wheezes.
"Sort of. If I turn my head and squint you definitely look like a shark." Kisame narrowed his eyes then tilted his head. "Can you see it?"
"Definitely," Kisame exclaimed. "Dude, this is trippy…"
"Now we just need to find a zombie for you to fight…" The two Akatsuki members began pondering, Itachi with his hand to his chin, and Kisame with one hand holding the cigarette and the other one on his knee.
"Hey," Kisame chimed in, his face lighting up. "That Kakuzu guy in our organization is like a zombie! I could fight him!"
"Bitchin," Itachi shouted. "Give me that thing!" Kisame handed the rolled up grass off to Itachi, who then took a slow, long drag of the cigarette. "Oh this shit is good…"
"Yeah…oh damn, there's smoke all around us!" Itachi looked up with a goofy smile on his face and started laughing.
"Dude is that from us?"
"I think so," Kisame replied as he began snickering.
"Dude this is cool," Itachi added, trying to grab the smoke. Kisame started laughing harder, watching his partner acting like an idiot. "Hey, this is harder than it looks!"
"No it's not, watch!"
Kisame stood up then began trying to grab the smoke. After the first few attempts failed, the swordsmen's arms moved quicker, going in a constant blur as he attempted to grab the smoke. Itachi fell on his back, kicking his feet in the air as he slapped his forehead and held his stomach, laughing uncontrollably. Kisame eventually gave up, panting heavily as he glared angrily at the smoke. The swordsmen fell heavily on his rump as Itachi sat up, grinning widely like a child with his hands in his lap.
"Now that wasn't easy was it?"
"Who said it was," Kisame asked. Itachi blinked a few times, staring blankly into dead space. Kisame took the cigarette and took a puff before handing it back to Itachi. "So what was our mission again?"
"Um…the leader wanted us to capture those tailed beasts right?"
"Yeah, but we captured ours remember? The four tailed alien monkey and that…oh we didn't capture the nine tails did we…?"
"No…it was because of that old toad Sannin guy…Jiraiya right?"
"Yeah, that guy was old." Kisame and Itachi both broke out in uncontrollably snickering. Their laughter was stopped when a twig snapped in the bushes and the Akatsuki duo froze stiff. "What was that," Kisame asked in a whisper.
"OH ****!" Itachi's right eye widened, unleashing the black flames of Amaterasu, burning a large amount of the forest.
"What was it," Kisame asked, fumbling with Samehada.
"A white rabbit," Itachi shouted, his eye now bleeding. "That thing scared the **** out of me! I thought it was an enemy!"
"Itachi, Kisame, what the hell?" The two Akatsuki members turned around, seeing Zetsu seeping out of the ground. "You just flooded, then torched half of the damn forest! We're supposed to be a secretive organization! Do you know what secretive means?" Itachi and Kisame both stared at Zetsu with blank looks. The Akatsuki spy waited for an answer, both sides grimacing in anger.
"Itachi, what is that thing," Kisame asked.
"I dunno…a lot of people have used white rabbits as substitution jutsus…maybe this was the guy who was trying to attack us…" Itachi and Kisame looked to one another then turned their heads back to Zetsu.
"!" Itachi and Kisame both charged forward, wailing loudly and throwing their arms around wildly as the rushed Zetsu.
"WHAT THE ****!" Zetsu sunk back into the ground quickly.
"Get him Kisame!"
"Right!" Kisame jumped into the air and clapped his hands together in front of him, diving into the ground like a fish in water. The swordsmen started tunneling through the ground while Itachi waited. Suddenly, the ground broke apart and Zetsu went flying into the air.
"You idiots, what're you doing!"
"Die plant monster!" Itachi tripped and fell forward onto his hands. However, the Uchiha member shot himself up into the air on his hands, flying feet first towards Zetsu. Itachi started kicking wildly at Zetsu who narrowly avoided each blow. "Take that, and that, and one of those!"
"Damn it, what the hell is the matter with you!" Itachi landed a solid kick right in the center of Zetsu's head. The Akatsuki spy split into the white and black halves, quickly moving to either side of Itachi.
"Eat spiky sword," Kisame shouted as he flashed next to the black Zetsu, his sword raised high above his head.
"SHIT," Zetsu shouted before diving to the side. Kisame slammed his sword into the ground, shattering the solid rock like glass.
"**** you whitey! Fire ball…something!" Itachi exhaled a wave of fire at the white Zetsu who just landed on the ground.
"WHAT THE ****!" Zetsu quickly sunk into the ground. "What's wrong with them!"
"Whatever's wrong, we need help!" The two Zetsu's quickly ran towards each other then reformed and disappeared.
"We need to find them," Itachi shouted to Kisame.
"Right," the swordsmen snickered as he stumbled to stand up straight. Kisame fell on his back and started laughing. Itachi joined in, pointing at his blue partner and started chuckling.
Zetsu reappeared in front of Pain: the Akatsuki leader, "We got a problem…"
Itachi and Kisame were running through the forest, trying to find their plant enemy. "What's that," Kisame asked.
Itachi looked over, seeing an exotic plant, but it wasn't Zetsu. Without another word, Kisame raised his sword up then sent it crashing on the plant, destroying it completely. Suddenly, Itachi and Kisame's minds were taken away into a dark cave, surrounded by a few silhouetted figures.
"Dude, this is trippy," Itachi exclaimed, walking towards a hologram version of Deidara. "Whooooooooooo." The Uchiha member stuck his virtual hand through Deidara, waving it around mockingly. The act amused Itachi, but only enraged Deidara.
"GET YOUR DAMN HAND AWAY FROM ME!"
"Itachi-san is funny," Tobi exclaimed, laughing at his sempai's anger.
"Shut up Tobi," Deidara barked.
"Hey, this guy only has one eye," Kisame pointed out, sticking his hand through Tobi's head. Deep down, this aggravated the Akatsuki member wearing the façade.
"What's wrong with them," Zetsu asked.
"That's the plant enemy," Itachi shouted. "Get him!" Kisame and Itachi ran forward and tried to tackle the hologram Zetsu, but only went right through him and hit the ground with a thud. The goofy Akatsuki duo rolled over on their backs and started cackling madly.
"They were like that when I found them," Zetsu explained. "Half the damn forest was flooded and the other half was being burned by Amaterasu." Pain walked up to the holograms and towered over them.
"Hey boss man," Itachi replied casually, giving a friendly wave.
"What's crackin," Kisame added. Pain leaned forward, staring at their eyes. Their scleras were blood red, and their unorthodox behavior mixed with their laughing meant one thing.
"They're high," the Akatsuki leader announced.
"High," Deidara repeated.
"Yes," Pain continued. "There's a special herb called weed, and if its smoke it does…well this. Deidara and Tobi, you two go and get Kisame and Itachi somewhere where they can't do any damage."
"Good luck with that," Zetsu muttered.
"Kisame, Itachi, stay right where you are," Pain snapped. "That's an order!" The high Akatsuki duo saluted Pain before turning to one another.
"I'm hungry, are you hungry Kisame?"
"I'm ****ing starving!"
"You're both also stoned, stay where you are! Tobi, Deidara, hurry up!" Pain dismissed the meeting, and Kisame and Itachi were back in their own minds.
"What just happened," Kisame asked.
"Who knows? Let's get something to eat!" The two partners got to their feet then walked into the forest with their stomachs growling. "Hey look, berries!"
"Hey look, trees!"
"We need to wash these berries otherwise they might poison us. Kisame do we have water?" Itachi turned around, seeing Kisame take a huge chunk out of a tree and began chewing. "Dude, you look like a shark-beaver!" Itachi started snickering while Kisame laughed with a mouthful of wood. "Why would you eat a tree?"
Kisame spat the wood out and started laughing, "I don't know!" The Akatsuki partners began laughing hysterically, and eventually tears rolled down their faces. "Damn, that jacked my mouth up."
"Can't you just rinse it out with water," Itachi asked.
"Right, give me a second!" Kisame ran up and dove into a small river nearby.
"Dude, you're still wearing your clothes," Itachi shouted before falling on his back and laughing with mass hysteria. Meanwhile, Deidara and Tobi were watching from a distance from a safe hiding spot.
"What's wrong with them Deidara sempai?"
"We went over this," the bomber snapped. "They're high on some type of grass, and now they're extremely dangerous!"
"They look like they're having fun though," Tobi pointed out.
"Fine then, go up there and talk to them. Zetsu tried that and he almost got killed." Deidara smirked at the thought of Tobi finally learning a lesson or two.
"You got it sempai!" Tobi ran forward, laughing madly as he did. Itachi spun around, seeing Tobi prancing about and laughing. "Itachi-san! Let's have fun!"
"What type of fun," Itachi asked.
"I don't know, you and Kisame-san are having fun! I wanna have fun too!"
"Okay…let's boogey!"
"YAY!" Itachi started bouncing his shoulders and turning his body, trying to dance while staying coordinated. Tobi just jumped around, laughing and flailing his arms around Itachi. Just then, Kisame got out of the river and stared at the two Akatsuki members oddly. "Kisame-san! Come join us!"
"We're boogey-ing," Itachi added.
"ALRIGHT!" Kisame ran up and started throwing his arms around, spinning and turning on his heels.
Deidara from a distance watched with absolute confusion and astonishment. Akatsuki, the most feared organization in the shinobi world, would've had its image shattered if anyone saw three of its members dancing around like idiots.
"I…this is…forget it, I'm not dealing with this." Deidara got up and started walking away.
"DEIDARA SEMPAI," Tobi called out. The blonde Akatsuki member froze in his tracks, terrified of what might happen next. Deidara slowly turned his head around, seeing the three Akatsuki members staring at him, but still dancing. "Come join us sempai!"
'DAMN IT TOBI!' Deidara watched as Kisame and Itachi's eyes narrowed at him. "Uh…maybe later, leader wants me for an uh…special mission!"
"Deidara sempai no wants to boogey," Tobi asked with a hurt tone. Itachi and Kisame gasped, causing Deidara to flinch.
"He doesn't want to boogey," Itachi shouted. "He's not one of us!"
"GET OVER HERE CINDERELLA!" Kisame charged forward towards Deidara headfirst. Deidara leaped into the air, causing Kisame to collide with a tree, and break it.
"," Deidara looked over, seeing Itachi coming at him feet first, "YA!"
Itachi sent a sweeping kick outward, connecting to Deidara's face. The bomber spun around several times before Itachi sent another kick to his stomach. Deidara's spinning stopped, but he and Itachi then started descending towards the ground. Itachi then landed a series of kicks to Deidara's face and stomach with amazing speed that was difficult for Deidara to keep up with. As they fell, Itachi even had time to perform the river dance on Deidara's stomach, before the latter smashed into the ground. Itachi flipped backwards off Deidara, staring at the now unconscious Akatsuki member.
"Sempaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai," Tobi wailed. "Why couldn't you just boogey with us? You could've lived!" Itachi groaned suddenly, holding his head as he stumbled around a little. Kisame got up and almost fell back again.
"I-I don't feel good," Kisame stated.
"Me either," Itachi added. Tobi watched the two Akatsuki members stumbling around like drunken idiots.
'They must be coming down,' Madara thought to himself. The masked Akatsuki member approached Itachi then lightly tapped him on the chest. Itachi fell on his back and was sound asleep. "Itachi-san?" Tobi turned around, seeing Kisame fall face first into the dirt. "Kisame-san? Tobi all alone!"
Hours later, Itachi awoke in a dark cave, groaning as he held the side of his head. "What happened…?" The sound of Kisame groaning caused Itachi to turn his head around. "Kisame…?"
"What happened," the swordsmen asked.
"I don't know…what was the last thing we remember…?" Kisame and Itachi looked away, their eyes narrowed due to the fact that they felt dried out.
"I remember smoking that grass that merchant sold me…"
"I remember that too…then what happened…?" Kisame shrugged his shoulders, groaning once again. "So we have no idea what happened…?"
"I'll tell you what happened," Zetsu's voice echoed through the cave. "You both acted like idiots! You even attacked me and Deidara!"
"Why, ugh, why would we attack you and Deidara both," Kisame questioned.
"Pain said because weed makes you act like idiots! You both were about as smart as Tobi! You flooded half a forest to put out a little flame on your sleeve that Itachi started! You both also pointed out strange physical characteristics about one another, came to the realization that Kisame is blue and looks like a shark, burned half a forest with Amaterasu, took a chunk out of a tree with your mouth, wanted to see a fight between Kisame and Kakuzu, because neither of you two have seen a shark fight a zombie, tried to catch smoke, and you both danced with Tobi." Kisame stifled his laughter, causing Zetsu to whip his head over.
"That was actually me laughing," Kisame replied, holding his hands up. "We danced with Tobi?"
"Itachi-san called it boogey-ing," Tobi's voice called out. Itachi's eyes widened a bit with horror while Kisame chuckled.
"Boogey-ing Itachi," Kisame questioned.
"Kisame-san knows how to boogey," Tobi added with his carefree voice. Kisame's face twisted a bit, unable to comprehend himself dancing. Itachi cracked a smirk, turning his head to Kisame.
"I never knew you danced Kisame."
"Kisame-san also called Deidara sempai 'Cinderella' before Itachi-san river-dancededed on his stomach!" Kisame and Itachi both tried to hold back their laughter, but it broke out in weak chuckles.
"Are you sure they came down," Zetsu asked Pain's hologram.
"Most likely," Pain replied. "They have their minds back, but it'll take awhile for the full effects to ware off."
"Did we do anything else that funny," Kisame asked.
"You knocked down a tree with your head," Zetsu replied.
"Itachi, Kisame, you two are to stay in here for at least twelve hours before the full effects of that weed ware off," Pain ordered. "After that then you'll be allowed to leave, understand?"
"Yes leader," Itachi replied with a bow, still smiling.
"Zetsu, keep watch over them just in case."
"Me," Zetsu repeated, turning to Pain. "Why not Tobi? He gets along with them when they're stoned!"
"Fine, Tobi, stay with Kisame and Itachi, Deidara…try not to get hurt again." Everyone turned to the other corner of the cave, seeing Deidara in beg with his entire abdomen wrapped in bandages. The bomber was glaring angrily at Tobi, Kisame, and Itachi, all of which were chuckling with amusement. "I'm going to go check on Kakuzu and Hidan's progress. I'll be sure to let Kakuzu know a shark wants to fight him." Pain disappeared from the cave and Zetsu sunk into the ground.
"Hey Kisame, what to head back to that village after we get out of here," Itachi asked.
"NO," Deidara shouted. Itachi snickered a bit then turned to the blonde.
"I'm kidding, sheesh! Lighten up!"
"Wait, did that stuff work at all Itachi," Kisame asked. "Can you see better at all?" Itachi's eyes widened a bit as he looked around.
"I think so? It helped a little bit and stuff…"
"We might have to buy more of that stuff then," Kisame stated with a grin.
"Good stuff Kisame," Itachi replied with a wide grin.
After a meeting with Akatsuki, Kisame and Itachi were strolling through a small town outside the Land of Fire. Their straw hats concealed their appearances to everyone around them. The town was small, and a haven for criminals, shift individuals, or people who just didn't want to be found. They needed to head through this town to get food, and any other supplies they needed for their travels.
"Wait here," Itachi said to Kisame before he walked up to a nearby food stand. Kisame looked around the streets, just in case there was anyone who recognized them as Akatsuki.
"Hey stranger," a deep, almost scary voice whispered. Kisame turned to a dark alley, seeing a man slumped over, wearing a trench coat and a mask to cover his face. "Got something that might interest ya." The man pulled open his coat, revealing a ton of herbs attached to the inside of his coat.
"Sorry, not interested," Kisame replied.
"Come on stranger, you and your partner look like men of danger! Surely you'd need herbs to heal your wounds with right?" Kisame sneered, showing his razor sharp teeth. To the merchant's credit, he didn't seem too affected by the swordsman's teeth.
"I have my own ways of healing, and my partner never gets touched in battle. We're not too worried about our wounds old man."
"Ah, but my herbs don't just heal ya. I have herbs for a ton of different illnesses." Kisame chuckled a bit, shaking his head as he turned to Itachi, politely waiting on the food merchant to get his order.
"Unless you've got something that can help my partner see, then I don't think-,"
"Needs ta see things ya say," the merchant asked. "I got a special herb for that." This now captivated Kisame's interest. The merchant pulled out a bag of green looking grass and held it before the shark-man's face. "Ever customer comes to me and says this helps them see things, things they've never noticed or seen before. They say it makes all the senses in the body more acute and makes ya more alert!" Kisame placed his hand to his chin, examining the grass for a moment with interest.
"How does this help people see things," Kisame inquired.
"They roll it up, and then…they smoke it!" The Akatsuki member jerked his head back, questioning the man's judgment.
"They smoke grass," Kisame repeated with outrage. "What kind of crazy stuff are you selling old man?" The merchant turned to a nearby civilian then took a step towards him.
"Stranger, you want to buy some of this?" The bystander looked at the bag then quickly handed the merchant a bag full of money. The merchant handed the bag of grass over to the man then walked back to Kisame as the citizen ran off, desperately hanging onto his bag. To say the least: Kisame was shocked to see a random person on the street freaking out over a bag of grass. "What do ya say now stranger?"
"I'll take a bag," Kisame replied, giving in as he reached into his pouch for some money. The two exchanged their goods, and placed them safely away on their person.
"Kisame," Itachi called out.
"Coming," the blue skinned partner called out. "Thanks for the stuff." The merchant nodded once to Kisame. The Akatsuki member turned into the street and followed his partner down the street.
"What was that about," Itachi asked.
"I'll show you once we're out of the village," Kisame replied.
A few hours later of gathering and buying supplies, the Akatsuki duo headed out of down and wandered aimlessly through the forests until the sun started to set. The two set a pile of firewood between them then sat down across from one another.
"So what did you buy back in that town?" Kisame smirked, finding it interesting that Itachi could remember something as minor as him making a small purchase hours ago.
"Well, this one merchant was selling herbs," Kisame began. "At first I told him we didn't need any, but he kept insisting and told me about this special herb he had." Itachi remained still, staring at his partner to continue. Kisame was a little aggravated, thinking that maybe Itachi could show just a little interest. "He said this herb made people see things," Kisame continued, reaching back for the bag. He revealed the tiny baggy to Itachi, showing the dark green grass inside.
"How is grass supposed to help my eyesight," Itachi questioned.
"I'm not sure," Kisame admitted. "He said people smoked it to get the effects. He sold a bag like this to some stranger on the street for a ton of cash right on the spot. That merchant knew how to make a sale. He only asked one question, and the guy practically emptied his pockets for this." Itachi stared at the bag solemnly, blinking once as he examined it. Finally, Itachi snapped his eyes up to Kisame.
"I'll smoke it if you smoke it…"
"What, why do I have to smoke it?"
"You bought it," Itachi replied. "The least you could do is use your own product."
"It's not my product, it's that merchant's product!"
"Then you should've made him smoke it." Kisame cringed a bit. Itachi cracked a smirk, knowing he won the argument. The Uchiha member leaned forward, holding his hand out.
"We need to roll it up with something," Kisame stated. "You got anything we can use?" Itachi shook his head. "Well, I guess I can use the bandages from Samehada." Kisame grabbed the wrappings on his sword then pulled some off, tearing off a long piece of it. The shark-man pulled out some of the grass then placed it on the bandage and rolled it up into a cigarette. "Can ya light me up?" Itachi made a few hand signs then held his two fingers next to his mouth.
"Fire ball jutsu!" The Uchiha member sent a wave of fire out, setting the camp fire and lighting the cigarette in the process. Kisame stood in awe, looking at the cigarette for a moment before turning back to his partner.
"A little extreme, but it got the job done nevertheless…" Kisame stared at his partner who gave him that expectant stare. The shark-man sighed then put the tip of the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled deeply. Kisame removed the cigarette then started coughing. He handed it off to his partner, who quickly took it.
"You okay," Itachi asked.
"Yeah," Kisame replied between coughs. "Just a bit light headed!"
"Does it help?"
"How should I know? I'm not blind." Itachi looked at the rolled up bit of grass with skepticism. "Take the hit man!" Itachi closed his eyes and sighed deeply to himself before taking a drag from the cigarette. The Uchiha member started coughing just as Kisame had earlier. Itachi covered his mouth, trying to control his coughs. "How do ya feel…?"
"Kinda…kinda dizzy…" Itachi looked over to Kisame. "Whoa, dude…do you have gills on your face?" Kisame lifted his hand up to his cheek, running his hand all over his face.
"I don't think so…why?"
"Because if you do then we need to get you in the water or else you'll die," Itachi replied.
"OH SHIT!"
"Don't worry, don't worry," Itachi assured. "I don't think you're dead…"
"You sure," Kisame asked. Itachi narrowed his eye for a moment before taking another puff of the cigarette.
"I'm pretty sure you're not dead…" Itachi held the cigarette out to Kisame. The shark-man took it and inhaled deeply. Kisame wheezed a bit and let out a stifled cough.
"This shit is pretty sweet," Kisame admitted. "Hey wait a second…" Kisame leaned forward, staring intently at Itachi's face. "Hey Itachi…"
"What," the Uchiha member asked.
"Did you know that you got lines on your face," Kisame questioned, tracing the lines on his own face with his finger tip. Itachi placed his hand on his face then started rubbing his skin. Kisame snickered mockingly as his partner futilely tried rubbing the stress lines off his face. "Dude, I don't think they're coming off!" Itachi moved his eyes down, making a strange face as he tried to see the lines himself. Kisame's body shook as he snickered once again at Itachi. "You look funny." Itachi glared at Kisame, taking the rolled up grass from him and then taking another hit.
"And you're blue…DUDE YOU'RE BLUE!"
"WHAT?" Kisame lifted his hands up and looked at his hands with a dreaded look on his face. "! I'M BLUE!"
"Why didn't we notice this before," Itachi asked himself.
"How long have I been blue!"
"I don't know man. I thought you would've known it by looking in a mirror or something." Kisame's hands trembled at the realization that his skin color was totally out of the ordinary. "Dude, you got some scary ass eyes too…"
"Look who's talking," Kisame fired back, still upset about the blue skin. "You got that crazy Sharingan! Your eyes are red!"
"Of course they are, my Sharingan is active Kisame."
"No, I mean around the Sharingan," Kisame went on. "Your entire eye is red!"
"Shit, do we have eye drops?"
"Um…you think that we would have those for you at the very least." Kisame took the cigarette from Itachi then took a puff. "Shit, we're almost out of this stuff."
"You got more of that stuff right?"
"What stuff," Kisame asked dumbly.
"That stuff," Itachi repeated, pointing to the rolled up grass.
"This stuff," Kisame asked, pointing to his sword.
"No not that stuff, that stuff!"
"What stuff?"
"THAT STUFF!"
"Which stuff? This stuff," Kisame pointed to his sleeve before grabbing a bush and tearing it from the ground, "This stuff?"
"No, none of that stuff!"
"Then what stuff?" Itachi pointed to the rolled up grass, but still Kisame didn't understand. "This stuff," Kisame asked, pulling out a snake from a bush.
"Not that stuff! Orochimaru is into that stuff!"
"Then what stuff?"
"The stuff in your hands!" Kisame looked at his empty hand then held it out to Itachi.
"This skin stuff?"
"Not that stuff! That other stuff!" Kisame looked in his other hand, seeing the rolled up cigarette in his hand.
"What's this stuff?"
"That grass stuff."
"Oh right, this stuff, yeah, we got plenty of this stuff."
"Good stuff Kisame," Itachi replied with a huge grin on his face. Kisame started snickering again, almost dropping the cigarette in the process. "What?"
"You, smiling, it's funny looking!"
"I've smiled before."
"No one tells me this stuff." Kisame handed the rolled up grass to Itachi, who grabbed it and took the last hit from it before tossing it into the fire. Kisame tore off more of his sword's wrappings, and rolled up another pinch of grass.
"Put more of that shit in there," Itachi ordered. Kisame shrugged then added another pinch-full of grass before rolling it up. "Uh…what was the name of that jutsu I used?"
"Uh…fire ball jutsu?"
"Right, fire ball jutsu!" Itachi made a series of hand signs then exhaled a wave of flame, setting the cigarette on fire, and catching a part of Kisame's cloak on fire as well. "Oh damn, are you okay?"
"Yeah, hold this." Kisame tossed the cigarette to Itachi. The Uchiha member grabbed the cigarette then took a long drag of the rolled up piece of grass. Kisame made a continuation of hand signs then unleashed a massive blast of water from his mouth, soaking his arm and flooding a large section of the forest. Itachi took another puff of the cigarette, watching the water rush into the forest. The Uchiha member exhaled slowly, letting a cloud of smoke coming out of his mouth. "Dude, give me that!"
Kisame greedily snatched the roll of grass from his partner. Itachi started at Kisame, whose arm was completely soaked to the bone. The shark-man took a long drag then exhaled slowly, letting an alarming amount of smoke come out.
"Hey Kisame," Itachi spoke up after a moment. "What do you think our leader is going to do with the tailed beasts?"
"Um…open up a petting zoo?" Itachi took the grass from Kisame then took a long drag from it.
"That's deep dude…"
"What do you think is going to happen when we get all those tailed beasts?" Itachi scrunched his face together, staring up into the air to think.
"Open a petting zoo?"
"DUDE! I totally thought that too!"
"SWEET!" Itachi fell on his side, holding his stomach as he cackled while Kisame threw his head back and howled with laughter. "Hey Kisame, I heard Kakuzu say that your had a giant sword to compensate for something."
"What's that mean," Kisame asked.
"It means he thinks you have a big sword because you have a small ****."
"WHAT? I'LL KILL THAT BASTARD! Five times over again!"
"Can I watch," Itachi asked, leaning forward. "I've never seen a shark fight a zombie before! It'll be cool!"
"Sounds great, but where are you going to get the shark from?" Itachi paused for a moment, placing his hand to his chin.
"Good question…" Itachi handed the cigarette off to Kisame who took a puff of it. The Uchiha member looked over to Kisame, his eyes widening with realization. "Kisame! You look like a shark! You could be the shark!" Kisame suddenly coughed furiously, letting out cloud after cloud of smoke. "You okay?"
"I look like a shark," Kisame asked between wheezes.
"Sort of. If I turn my head and squint you definitely look like a shark." Kisame narrowed his eyes then tilted his head. "Can you see it?"
"Definitely," Kisame exclaimed. "Dude, this is trippy…"
"Now we just need to find a zombie for you to fight…" The two Akatsuki members began pondering, Itachi with his hand to his chin, and Kisame with one hand holding the cigarette and the other one on his knee.
"Hey," Kisame chimed in, his face lighting up. "That Kakuzu guy in our organization is like a zombie! I could fight him!"
"Bitchin," Itachi shouted. "Give me that thing!" Kisame handed the rolled up grass off to Itachi, who then took a slow, long drag of the cigarette. "Oh this shit is good…"
"Yeah…oh damn, there's smoke all around us!" Itachi looked up with a goofy smile on his face and started laughing.
"Dude is that from us?"
"I think so," Kisame replied as he began snickering.
"Dude this is cool," Itachi added, trying to grab the smoke. Kisame started laughing harder, watching his partner acting like an idiot. "Hey, this is harder than it looks!"
"No it's not, watch!"
Kisame stood up then began trying to grab the smoke. After the first few attempts failed, the swordsmen's arms moved quicker, going in a constant blur as he attempted to grab the smoke. Itachi fell on his back, kicking his feet in the air as he slapped his forehead and held his stomach, laughing uncontrollably. Kisame eventually gave up, panting heavily as he glared angrily at the smoke. The swordsmen fell heavily on his rump as Itachi sat up, grinning widely like a child with his hands in his lap.
"Now that wasn't easy was it?"
"Who said it was," Kisame asked. Itachi blinked a few times, staring blankly into dead space. Kisame took the cigarette and took a puff before handing it back to Itachi. "So what was our mission again?"
"Um…the leader wanted us to capture those tailed beasts right?"
"Yeah, but we captured ours remember? The four tailed alien monkey and that…oh we didn't capture the nine tails did we…?"
"No…it was because of that old toad Sannin guy…Jiraiya right?"
"Yeah, that guy was old." Kisame and Itachi both broke out in uncontrollably snickering. Their laughter was stopped when a twig snapped in the bushes and the Akatsuki duo froze stiff. "What was that," Kisame asked in a whisper.
"OH ****!" Itachi's right eye widened, unleashing the black flames of Amaterasu, burning a large amount of the forest.
"What was it," Kisame asked, fumbling with Samehada.
"A white rabbit," Itachi shouted, his eye now bleeding. "That thing scared the **** out of me! I thought it was an enemy!"
"Itachi, Kisame, what the hell?" The two Akatsuki members turned around, seeing Zetsu seeping out of the ground. "You just flooded, then torched half of the damn forest! We're supposed to be a secretive organization! Do you know what secretive means?" Itachi and Kisame both stared at Zetsu with blank looks. The Akatsuki spy waited for an answer, both sides grimacing in anger.
"Itachi, what is that thing," Kisame asked.
"I dunno…a lot of people have used white rabbits as substitution jutsus…maybe this was the guy who was trying to attack us…" Itachi and Kisame looked to one another then turned their heads back to Zetsu.
"!" Itachi and Kisame both charged forward, wailing loudly and throwing their arms around wildly as the rushed Zetsu.
"WHAT THE ****!" Zetsu sunk back into the ground quickly.
"Get him Kisame!"
"Right!" Kisame jumped into the air and clapped his hands together in front of him, diving into the ground like a fish in water. The swordsmen started tunneling through the ground while Itachi waited. Suddenly, the ground broke apart and Zetsu went flying into the air.
"You idiots, what're you doing!"
"Die plant monster!" Itachi tripped and fell forward onto his hands. However, the Uchiha member shot himself up into the air on his hands, flying feet first towards Zetsu. Itachi started kicking wildly at Zetsu who narrowly avoided each blow. "Take that, and that, and one of those!"
"Damn it, what the hell is the matter with you!" Itachi landed a solid kick right in the center of Zetsu's head. The Akatsuki spy split into the white and black halves, quickly moving to either side of Itachi.
"Eat spiky sword," Kisame shouted as he flashed next to the black Zetsu, his sword raised high above his head.
"SHIT," Zetsu shouted before diving to the side. Kisame slammed his sword into the ground, shattering the solid rock like glass.
"**** you whitey! Fire ball…something!" Itachi exhaled a wave of fire at the white Zetsu who just landed on the ground.
"WHAT THE ****!" Zetsu quickly sunk into the ground. "What's wrong with them!"
"Whatever's wrong, we need help!" The two Zetsu's quickly ran towards each other then reformed and disappeared.
"We need to find them," Itachi shouted to Kisame.
"Right," the swordsmen snickered as he stumbled to stand up straight. Kisame fell on his back and started laughing. Itachi joined in, pointing at his blue partner and started chuckling.
Zetsu reappeared in front of Pain: the Akatsuki leader, "We got a problem…"
Itachi and Kisame were running through the forest, trying to find their plant enemy. "What's that," Kisame asked.
Itachi looked over, seeing an exotic plant, but it wasn't Zetsu. Without another word, Kisame raised his sword up then sent it crashing on the plant, destroying it completely. Suddenly, Itachi and Kisame's minds were taken away into a dark cave, surrounded by a few silhouetted figures.
"Dude, this is trippy," Itachi exclaimed, walking towards a hologram version of Deidara. "Whooooooooooo." The Uchiha member stuck his virtual hand through Deidara, waving it around mockingly. The act amused Itachi, but only enraged Deidara.
"GET YOUR DAMN HAND AWAY FROM ME!"
"Itachi-san is funny," Tobi exclaimed, laughing at his sempai's anger.
"Shut up Tobi," Deidara barked.
"Hey, this guy only has one eye," Kisame pointed out, sticking his hand through Tobi's head. Deep down, this aggravated the Akatsuki member wearing the façade.
"What's wrong with them," Zetsu asked.
"That's the plant enemy," Itachi shouted. "Get him!" Kisame and Itachi ran forward and tried to tackle the hologram Zetsu, but only went right through him and hit the ground with a thud. The goofy Akatsuki duo rolled over on their backs and started cackling madly.
"They were like that when I found them," Zetsu explained. "Half the damn forest was flooded and the other half was being burned by Amaterasu." Pain walked up to the holograms and towered over them.
"Hey boss man," Itachi replied casually, giving a friendly wave.
"What's crackin," Kisame added. Pain leaned forward, staring at their eyes. Their scleras were blood red, and their unorthodox behavior mixed with their laughing meant one thing.
"They're high," the Akatsuki leader announced.
"High," Deidara repeated.
"Yes," Pain continued. "There's a special herb called weed, and if its smoke it does…well this. Deidara and Tobi, you two go and get Kisame and Itachi somewhere where they can't do any damage."
"Good luck with that," Zetsu muttered.
"Kisame, Itachi, stay right where you are," Pain snapped. "That's an order!" The high Akatsuki duo saluted Pain before turning to one another.
"I'm hungry, are you hungry Kisame?"
"I'm ****ing starving!"
"You're both also stoned, stay where you are! Tobi, Deidara, hurry up!" Pain dismissed the meeting, and Kisame and Itachi were back in their own minds.
"What just happened," Kisame asked.
"Who knows? Let's get something to eat!" The two partners got to their feet then walked into the forest with their stomachs growling. "Hey look, berries!"
"Hey look, trees!"
"We need to wash these berries otherwise they might poison us. Kisame do we have water?" Itachi turned around, seeing Kisame take a huge chunk out of a tree and began chewing. "Dude, you look like a shark-beaver!" Itachi started snickering while Kisame laughed with a mouthful of wood. "Why would you eat a tree?"
Kisame spat the wood out and started laughing, "I don't know!" The Akatsuki partners began laughing hysterically, and eventually tears rolled down their faces. "Damn, that jacked my mouth up."
"Can't you just rinse it out with water," Itachi asked.
"Right, give me a second!" Kisame ran up and dove into a small river nearby.
"Dude, you're still wearing your clothes," Itachi shouted before falling on his back and laughing with mass hysteria. Meanwhile, Deidara and Tobi were watching from a distance from a safe hiding spot.
"What's wrong with them Deidara sempai?"
"We went over this," the bomber snapped. "They're high on some type of grass, and now they're extremely dangerous!"
"They look like they're having fun though," Tobi pointed out.
"Fine then, go up there and talk to them. Zetsu tried that and he almost got killed." Deidara smirked at the thought of Tobi finally learning a lesson or two.
"You got it sempai!" Tobi ran forward, laughing madly as he did. Itachi spun around, seeing Tobi prancing about and laughing. "Itachi-san! Let's have fun!"
"What type of fun," Itachi asked.
"I don't know, you and Kisame-san are having fun! I wanna have fun too!"
"Okay…let's boogey!"
"YAY!" Itachi started bouncing his shoulders and turning his body, trying to dance while staying coordinated. Tobi just jumped around, laughing and flailing his arms around Itachi. Just then, Kisame got out of the river and stared at the two Akatsuki members oddly. "Kisame-san! Come join us!"
"We're boogey-ing," Itachi added.
"ALRIGHT!" Kisame ran up and started throwing his arms around, spinning and turning on his heels.
Deidara from a distance watched with absolute confusion and astonishment. Akatsuki, the most feared organization in the shinobi world, would've had its image shattered if anyone saw three of its members dancing around like idiots.
"I…this is…forget it, I'm not dealing with this." Deidara got up and started walking away.
"DEIDARA SEMPAI," Tobi called out. The blonde Akatsuki member froze in his tracks, terrified of what might happen next. Deidara slowly turned his head around, seeing the three Akatsuki members staring at him, but still dancing. "Come join us sempai!"
'DAMN IT TOBI!' Deidara watched as Kisame and Itachi's eyes narrowed at him. "Uh…maybe later, leader wants me for an uh…special mission!"
"Deidara sempai no wants to boogey," Tobi asked with a hurt tone. Itachi and Kisame gasped, causing Deidara to flinch.
"He doesn't want to boogey," Itachi shouted. "He's not one of us!"
"GET OVER HERE CINDERELLA!" Kisame charged forward towards Deidara headfirst. Deidara leaped into the air, causing Kisame to collide with a tree, and break it.
"," Deidara looked over, seeing Itachi coming at him feet first, "YA!"
Itachi sent a sweeping kick outward, connecting to Deidara's face. The bomber spun around several times before Itachi sent another kick to his stomach. Deidara's spinning stopped, but he and Itachi then started descending towards the ground. Itachi then landed a series of kicks to Deidara's face and stomach with amazing speed that was difficult for Deidara to keep up with. As they fell, Itachi even had time to perform the river dance on Deidara's stomach, before the latter smashed into the ground. Itachi flipped backwards off Deidara, staring at the now unconscious Akatsuki member.
"Sempaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai," Tobi wailed. "Why couldn't you just boogey with us? You could've lived!" Itachi groaned suddenly, holding his head as he stumbled around a little. Kisame got up and almost fell back again.
"I-I don't feel good," Kisame stated.
"Me either," Itachi added. Tobi watched the two Akatsuki members stumbling around like drunken idiots.
'They must be coming down,' Madara thought to himself. The masked Akatsuki member approached Itachi then lightly tapped him on the chest. Itachi fell on his back and was sound asleep. "Itachi-san?" Tobi turned around, seeing Kisame fall face first into the dirt. "Kisame-san? Tobi all alone!"
Hours later, Itachi awoke in a dark cave, groaning as he held the side of his head. "What happened…?" The sound of Kisame groaning caused Itachi to turn his head around. "Kisame…?"
"What happened," the swordsmen asked.
"I don't know…what was the last thing we remember…?" Kisame and Itachi looked away, their eyes narrowed due to the fact that they felt dried out.
"I remember smoking that grass that merchant sold me…"
"I remember that too…then what happened…?" Kisame shrugged his shoulders, groaning once again. "So we have no idea what happened…?"
"I'll tell you what happened," Zetsu's voice echoed through the cave. "You both acted like idiots! You even attacked me and Deidara!"
"Why, ugh, why would we attack you and Deidara both," Kisame questioned.
"Pain said because weed makes you act like idiots! You both were about as smart as Tobi! You flooded half a forest to put out a little flame on your sleeve that Itachi started! You both also pointed out strange physical characteristics about one another, came to the realization that Kisame is blue and looks like a shark, burned half a forest with Amaterasu, took a chunk out of a tree with your mouth, wanted to see a fight between Kisame and Kakuzu, because neither of you two have seen a shark fight a zombie, tried to catch smoke, and you both danced with Tobi." Kisame stifled his laughter, causing Zetsu to whip his head over.
"That was actually me laughing," Kisame replied, holding his hands up. "We danced with Tobi?"
"Itachi-san called it boogey-ing," Tobi's voice called out. Itachi's eyes widened a bit with horror while Kisame chuckled.
"Boogey-ing Itachi," Kisame questioned.
"Kisame-san knows how to boogey," Tobi added with his carefree voice. Kisame's face twisted a bit, unable to comprehend himself dancing. Itachi cracked a smirk, turning his head to Kisame.
"I never knew you danced Kisame."
"Kisame-san also called Deidara sempai 'Cinderella' before Itachi-san river-dancededed on his stomach!" Kisame and Itachi both tried to hold back their laughter, but it broke out in weak chuckles.
"Are you sure they came down," Zetsu asked Pain's hologram.
"Most likely," Pain replied. "They have their minds back, but it'll take awhile for the full effects to ware off."
"Did we do anything else that funny," Kisame asked.
"You knocked down a tree with your head," Zetsu replied.
"Itachi, Kisame, you two are to stay in here for at least twelve hours before the full effects of that weed ware off," Pain ordered. "After that then you'll be allowed to leave, understand?"
"Yes leader," Itachi replied with a bow, still smiling.
"Zetsu, keep watch over them just in case."
"Me," Zetsu repeated, turning to Pain. "Why not Tobi? He gets along with them when they're stoned!"
"Fine, Tobi, stay with Kisame and Itachi, Deidara…try not to get hurt again." Everyone turned to the other corner of the cave, seeing Deidara in beg with his entire abdomen wrapped in bandages. The bomber was glaring angrily at Tobi, Kisame, and Itachi, all of which were chuckling with amusement. "I'm going to go check on Kakuzu and Hidan's progress. I'll be sure to let Kakuzu know a shark wants to fight him." Pain disappeared from the cave and Zetsu sunk into the ground.
"Hey Kisame, what to head back to that village after we get out of here," Itachi asked.
"NO," Deidara shouted. Itachi snickered a bit then turned to the blonde.
"I'm kidding, sheesh! Lighten up!"
"Wait, did that stuff work at all Itachi," Kisame asked. "Can you see better at all?" Itachi's eyes widened a bit as he looked around.
"I think so? It helped a little bit and stuff…"
"We might have to buy more of that stuff then," Kisame stated with a grin.
"Good stuff Kisame," Itachi replied with a wide grin.
