is this a good poem ?

[ismael]

Pain

I run alone
Not wanting to keep going
I just do so for my well being
Every drop of rain makes me feel like a stone
But I don’t have enough strength to groan
My body feels pain
Under the rain
And I feel like it is crushing my bones
In the bushes is hiding a fox
Waiting for the birds to show their faces
Even though they might not so
The fox will still look for grapes to calm his stomach aches
Going back in his house disappointed he goes looking for locks
To lock himself inside his house to build a bow

of how much would you rate it? i wrote as a homework for my english class.

 

[Reflection]

No, sorry. But great signature.

 

[ismael]

Nice

thanks.=D how much do you rate it out of

 

[minato12345]

umm.copied and pasted??

 

[ismael]

umm.copied and pasted??

no. I wrote it myself in like 20 minutes. I never copied or pasted or any type of cheating.

 

[Vilvake]

I don't know much about poetry, but I can tell you it doesn't seem to have the maturity of a great poem.. especially this line-

The fox will still look for grapes to calm his stomach aches

But then again, I'm no poet.

P.S- This belongs in Writers Base --> Poetry

Edit: Although I will say that this could be impressive depending on your age

 

[ismael]

I don't know much about poetry, but I can tell you it doesn't seem to have the maturity of a great poem.. especially this line-



But then again, I'm no poet.

P.S- This belongs in Writers Base --> Poetry

Edit: Although I will say that this could be impressive depending on your age

thanks. I;m 15 but my first language is french so it is not that easy for me to write a poem.

 

[Vilvake]

thanks. I;m 15 but my first language is french so it is not that easy for me to write a poem.

That's pretty impressive... I only know English

 

[Isabella95]

No no. A good poem for pain is this.

I will make them feel pain. Feel my pain.
Shinra Tensei!!

 

[Vilvake]

No no. A good poem for pain is this.

I will make them feel pain. Feel my pain.
Shinra Tensei!!

I think that goes without saying

 

[Naruto D Luffy]

Nice Poem