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NarutAwesome

NarutAwesome

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Sup guys I'm working on a new rap and I wanna go with something like space bound so I used the instructment as a bass. I only have the first verse. it starts at 0:18

[video=youtube_share;FIg4rRTDSdY]http://youtu.be/FIg4rRTDSdY[/video]

here's the lyric

Being famous is my goal
it’s my dream, it’s my strive
Don’t care how I get there
I just want success to arrive
and I’ll wait for that day
if it takes me my whole life
so I’ll always keep rapping
practicing every night
spittin’ lyrics and verses
in my mirror rehearsing
letting no one hold me back
cause I’m my own person
but my mind already set
so why am I still searchin’
until this body stop breathing
until this heart stop beating
I’ll never give this shit up
man, no matter the reason
can you feel what I’m feeling
can you see what I’m seeing
the amount of pain that I felt
call it internal bleeding
people trying to hold me back
but they’re words are misleading
so nothing can get in my way
nothing is superceding
how much stress can I hold
inside I’m feelin’ cold
and I’m stuck on this path
like they’re a fork in the road
but I gotta keep on fighting
stand with my hopes held high
going after my dreams
staying tough- ride or die
cause one day I’ll be famous
and then I’ll be realized
 
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Joten Uchiha

Joten Uchiha

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Not bad, the words rhymed i guess that's always a good thing. If you can, try and use a more clever use of word play when writing your lyrics, being an Artist is all about being creative, no one wants to hear the same stuff over and over again. Other than that good job, they are coming along very nicely :D
 
DeadManWonderLand

DeadManWonderLand

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NarutAwesome said:
Sup guys I'm working on a new rap and I wanna go with something like space bound so I used the instructment as a bass. I only have the first verse. it starts at 0:18

[video=youtube_share;FIg4rRTDSdY]http://youtu.be/FIg4rRTDSdY[/video]

here's the lyric

Being famous is my goal
it’s my dream, it’s my strive
Don’t care how I get there
I just want success to arrive
and I’ll wait for that day
if it takes me my whole life
so I’ll always keep rapping
practicing every night
spittin’ lyrics and verses
in my mirror rehearsing
letting no one hold me back
cause I’m my own person
but my mind already set
so why am I still searchin’
until this body stop breathing
until this heart stop beating
I’ll never give this shit up
man, no matter the reason
can you feel what I’m feeling
can you see what I’m seeing
the amount of pain that I felt
call it internal bleeding
people trying to hold me back
but they’re words are misleading
so nothing can get in my way
nothing is superceding
how much stress can I hold
inside I’m feelin’ cold
and I’m stuck on this path
like they’re a fork in the road
but I gotta keep on fighting
stand with my hopes held high
going after my dreams
staying tough- ride or die
cause one day I’ll be famous
and then I’ll be realized
Click to expand...


Maybe its because your using his instrumental but this sounds exactly what eminem would spit. + rep

I still wanna do a legit battle rap against you hopefully we can get a tournament brewing one of these days.

Keep it up this shit is real
 
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