I'll Be Your Sun

[Nimmy]

I realize this is far more depressing than my personality, but it just sort of came to me. I thought I'd share, since someone told me I should show my writing. :/ Critiques are welcome. This is for my friend.

I'll Be Your Sun

Pain and misery was your life story
So I will not give another silly allegory
Claiming that time is the ultimate cure
That causes your pain to lessen and blur
You suffered inside all alone
Hardly ever uttered a groan
Hiding away all of your pain
Because you knew in the end there would be nothing to gain

So long your life was led in the dark
Your outlook must have only seemed stark
How lonely all that suffering must have been
Just running and running and running and then…
Out of the fog I extend to you my hand
Offering you a lifestyle of a different brand

Lend me your friendship and come with me
I’ll take your pain and set you free
Every blue Monday needs its antidote
Let me be your Friday that helps you to cope
Even the sun can’t always shine bright
While it battles the dark in a never ending fight
So I’ll help be your sun and show you the way
Just take my hand, and together we can face a new day

You may have moved on, but your spirit remains
I think of you always, but most when it rains
The drops are like tears that you never would shed
And the winds are the whispers that you never said
And though I tried, I could not be your sun
But our times together were always such fun
My hand is still raised, waiting for yours to clasp
For someday we will meet again, this wasn’t our last.
​

 

[killa sage]

for a moment before i opened the thread i thought you were kiro

 

[Nimmy]

for a moment before i opened the thread i thought you were kiro

Who is Kiro and what does that mean that you'd think that? :/

 

[killa sage]

Who is Kiro and what does that mean that you'd think that? :/

its this guy who made poems for his girl until we found out it was plagiarized

but yours is good

 

[Nimmy]

its this guy who made poems for his girl until we found out it was plagiarized

Then I guess I should take that as a bad thing? I didn't plagiarize, never have, never will. Writing is going to be my minor in college, so I don't do that. But I remember him now that I think about it.

Edit: Just saw your edit, thanks

 

[Ninpou]

This is amazing, could'nt find anything wrong with it.

 

[Hei]

i don't understand anything in poetry but this is definitely outstanding work

 

[Nimmy]

This is amazing, could'nt find anything wrong with it.

Thank you

i don't understand anything in poetry but this is definitely outstanding work

Thanks, I'm glad you think so

 

[Tsuki]

This is .... awesomness!! :scorps:
Ofc it's kinda sad but I don't see how it's THAT sad

That poem was amazing
So please stop complaining
It's an awesome invention
It caught my attention
xd

lol anyway... I liked the poems so pls inform me if you make a new one

 

[Nimmy]

This is .... awesomness!! :scorps:
Ofc it's kinda sad but I don't see how it's THAT sad

That poem was amazing
So please stop complaining
It's an awesome invention
It caught my attention
xd

lol anyway... I liked the poems so pls inform me if you make a new one

Haha well I'm sure for most it's not as sad as for me, because I wrote with the knowledge of the situation behind it. But it is bittersweet, which is how it made me feel, but thanks! ^_^ And I'll let you know :3

 

[0neCrazyAngel]

i like this. this is really good! keep up the good work :ice:

 

[AmaniPaz]

This is truly amazing

 

[Nimmy]

i like this. this is really good! keep up the good work :ice:

Thanks, I'll try

This is truly amazing

Thank you so much

 

[Jazzy..]

I think it's wonderful. <3

 

[Disquiet]

I love it, Nimmy. <3

 

[Nimmy]

I think it's wonderful. <3

Thank you! <3 <3

I love it, Nimmy. <3

Thanks Yami :hug:

 

[-Kimiko-]

Ah, Great Job Nimmy! ^_^ <3 Its awesome

 

[Nimmy]

Ah, Great Job Nimmy! ^_^ <3 Its awesome

Thank you so much :hug: <3