If Marriage Didn't Exist?

[lswhyte123]

Well if you must know, the only thing I would get rid of is that damn dumb "prenuptial agreement" crap. I wanna seriously smack whoever came up with that lame idea. I mean come on, why get married if the two people don't trust each other completely?

I could also put it another way. Why get married if you trust each other completely?

 

[Aponi]

Aww, how uninformed of you....

I'm not talking about divorce. When you get married there's a lot of legal issues which come into play. If you don't know about them,then you have a new topic you can learn about.

Also,What you've said is not thread related. The thread asks if you would reinvent it. Not your thoughts on the legality of the topic or the costs.

What legal issues then? I am married. All you keep referring to is the cost and the lawyers and crap like that so wtf are you talking about.

 

[lswhyte123]

What legal issues then? I am married. All you keep referring to is the cost and the lawyers and crap like that so wtf are you talking about.

1: Your ring was free?
2: The documentation which makes it cheaper for you to live together married.
3: The fact that when you/if you get divorced you must split things 50:50 unless you have another agreement.
4: The costs for the wedding celebration. BTW if you didn't have a celebration then that's fine for you.
5: The paperwork doesn't cost nothing and doesn't change your actual life together.

You can say it's cheap all you want,but it isn't free and certainly isn't necessary. Doesn't/shouldn't change anything.

Anyway,you missed the point of this thread.

 

[Aponi]

1: Your ring was free?
2: The documentation which makes it cheaper for you to live together married.
3: The fact that when you/if you get divorced you must split things 50:50 unless you have another agreement.
4: The costs for the wedding celebration. BTW if you didn't have a celebration then that's fine for you.
5: The paperwork doesn't cost nothing and doesn't change your actual life together.

You can say it's cheap all you want,but it isn't free and certainly isn't necessary. Doesn't/shouldn't change anything.

Anyway,you missed the point of this thread.

Apparently I did..
1.) You said you weren't talking about divorce.
2.) You can buy a 20.00 ring if you really wanted to.
3.) WEDDINGS are not necessary.
4.) The paperwork for us cost 75.00-150.00
5.) yea alot of times you move and what- not but isn't it actually cheaper to live on the income of TWO people instead of just one?

I have an expensive ring and all that jazz so I know it wasn't cheap, my point is your making it seem like when you get married the two of you have lawyers standing behind you and your handing them a case full of money.

But like you said I missed the point of the thread so w/e.

 

[lswhyte123]

Apparently I did..
1.) You said you weren't talking about divorce.
2.) You can buy a 20.00 ring if you really wanted to.
3.) WEDDINGS are not necessary.
4.) The paperwork for us cost 75.00-150.00
5.) yea alot of times you move and what- not but isn't it actually cheaper to live on the income of TWO people instead of just one?

I have an expensive ring and all that jazz so I know it wasn't cheap, my point is your making it seem like when you get married the two of you have lawyers standing behind you and your handing them a case full of money.

But like you said I missed the point of the thread so w/e.

Sounds like you have a good opinion of what you've made marriage. Which is a good thing.
You've taken the parts you liked and gotten rid of the parts of it you don't like. Which is a good thing. You should be happy.

Either way,it sounds like if you had the choice,you wouldn't reinvent marriage as it is. But would rather make something more modern without the legal issues. So you're answer is-No,you wouldn't.

 

[Strata Uchiha]

I could also put it another way. Why get married if you trust each other completely?

Ah, very well played sir. Do you want to know why you'll have to get married eventually if you're in a relationship for a long time? I'll explain.

For one reason or another, more often than not, it is a lady's life long dream to get married. Moreover, they want there wedding to be a lavish spectacle as well because this will be the most joyful day of there entire life.

Not all ladies feel this way mind you, but a great majority of them.

 

[uzumakikenshin]

Well honestly maybe i would reinvent it...

Most of us think that Marriage is just there to prove that you are in love with each other, or to have another person where you share your bills or living consumption but no, there is more to it than papers and everything...

1. It costs too much from preparations up to everything.... yes it can but you can always do civil marriage (without churches and just an intimate gathering or reception to celebrate your bond)

2. You trust one another so no need to be married - yes of course, you can just live with her and love one another for eternity without those legal papers and everything... but getting married wouldn't hurt right? and also it gives your partner additional security that you are willing to take part with her life, be responsible along with her not just verbally but legally. It's not just an issue of trust but of security that you are willing to give...


3. Marriage is not just proving that you love someone, you must not just think for the both of you but also for your future generations, your own children in the future... If you are married legally there are rights that your children can have than any illegitimate child and wives (not that i have any against them or what , im just stating a fact), you wouldn't know when your love for each other will last, what if it ends and you have a child to take care of? at least you have something to prove that your partner must not just abandon you and your child for whatever reason...


4. It gives more doors for cheating, yes you may say that even married people cheats or hey if you truly love someone you'll not cheat whether married or not, but being not married gives you more reason to cheat... being married gives you a bond, an added reason to stay with each other...


so yes... It would be reinvented...In this world it's not just trust, security is a big issue in the society... also Im okay living together at first before getting married... Im open to that.. but If we agree to have a child so marriage first before anything... this is my OWN point of view... (In this issue several aspects are needed to be considered : CULTURE, FAMILY, SOCIETY, RELIGION)

 

[UzumakiZoey]

I'm not bashing marriage and it's holiness and all but I do believe true love for another person is not shown through marriage, nor is commitment. Through the ages, I guess, it just has become a ritual majority of the people just overrated it. LOL.

 

[Swizzik]

If I'm getting married my woman is signing a prenup. Not that I don't trust her but just in case....

 

[Avani]

Well honestly maybe i would reinvent it...

Most of us think that Marriage is just there to prove that you are in love with each other, or to have another person where you share your bills or living consumption but no, there is more to it than papers and everything...

1. It costs too much from preparations up to everything.... yes it can but you can always do civil marriage (without churches and just an intimate gathering or reception to celebrate your bond)

2. You trust one another so no need to be married - yes of course, you can just live with her and love one another for eternity without those legal papers and everything... but getting married wouldn't hurt right? and also it gives your partner additional security that you are willing to take part with her life, be responsible along with her not just verbally but legally. It's not just an issue of trust but of security that you are willing to give...


3. Marriage is not just proving that you love someone, you must not just think for the both of you but also for your future generations, your own children in the future... If you are married legally there are rights that your children can have than any illegitimate child and wives (not that i have any against them or what , im just stating a fact), you wouldn't know when your love for each other will last, what if it ends and you have a child to take care of? at least you have something to prove that your partner must not just abandon you and your child for whatever reason...


4. It gives more doors for cheating, yes you may say that even married people cheats or hey if you truly love someone you'll not cheat whether married or not, but being not married gives you more reason to cheat... being married gives you a bond, an added reason to stay with each other...


so yes... It would be reinvented...In this world it's not just trust, security is a big issue in the society... also Im okay living together at first before getting married... Im open to that.. but If we agree to have a child so marriage first before anything... this is my OWN point of view... (In this issue several aspects are needed to be considered : CULTURE, FAMILY, SOCIETY, RELIGION)

Agreed.

The concept of marriage didn't come up out of blue on day because someone somewhere wanted to have a party. It's an idea and institution which came into existence with development of society.

A marriage signifies start of the smallest but a formal unit of any society. Society emphases it via means of Religious or legal pressure for it's own sake.

It wasn't a local phenomena but all the cultures and societies around the world developed it and put it into effect. Some rules may have been varied and some forms may have had more freedoms than others but more less every society realized the importance of stability of a family for the most part.

Love or *** is part of marriage not the sole objective and you are exaggerating it by tons. What counts in a long relationships are the feelings of mutual empathy, sympathy caring and the companionship you develop with all the time spent together. Marriage is foundation of a family and a promise to be there at best as well as worst of the times. It's not just a vague idea of romantic love which holds it together.

That piece of paper which binds two people is promise of security and provides a social, legal and moral backup to the family. It strengthens the bond and is a reminder that starting a family is not just fun and games. It's a serious business.

Legal binding by the way of marriage is how society encourages people to keep those promises and encourages people to live together. It tells people that it's not that bad and if something happened to break the bond it will provide the needed support and cut down the number of loses to an extent.
And that, if the one person one day declares that they don't care anymore it wouldn't mean that the other party and kids will lose everything.

When someone is trusting you with everything, You have a power over him/her and along comes responsibility. Because both parties make several compromises when they start to live with each other. Not always in their best interest on individual level. But they still do for the sake of the family and the other person.

If for some reason it doesn't succeed, the kids of the union are also going to be affected along with the couple. One of the parties involved, usually the females suffer because they are also the care giver of the most families around the world and end up sacrificing their career is one way or other.

Frankly people are selfish. men as well as women. If you do not want to give what you can, don't expect women to return the favour either. If you are going to demand eternal sacrifices sufferings for a brat so that someone permanantly caries your name get ready to bare some responsibility.

It's really stupid to think all woman want is to be a mother and take care of it. Society fills up the mind of a baby girl with these ideas since childhood so that they just don't refuse to do it when time comes. It's called basic instinct of survival. This society made the system of marriage for it's own good. And mostly it were men who made them.

In the developed countries where women are more and more career oriented not only less of them want to get married, those who are, are not always interested in having kids. Because it affects them adversely. Body gets through sever changes, stress and strain and the process and aftermath caring of child leads to lost opportunities at work.

Why woman should be taking so much strain, permanant changes to body and diminshed earning capacities for you if you do not even want to provide a proper binding commitment?

Exactly why should they care if men want kids? What if the guy says he changed his mind and declared that since there is no love in the relationship anymore after several years of living together? The other party has been investing it's time energy as well whether they were earning member or not ( In a lot of households around the world women often work 24/7 putting in a lot into unpaid jobs.) and then suddenly find themselves at the street. Very often it's already too late for them to start something worth while and by then they have lost their prime age for a good career on their own.

Why men want to have a say in the birth or bringing up of a child if they are not committed enough to be there legaly. Why they should expect mothers to care for a kid she may feel an unnnecessary baggage in a number of situations?

Then there are times when people are rendered incapacitated to take decisions on their own. They need someone to take make their financial/medical/social decisions for them. A legal status given to somone you can trust is so much better and saves a lot of troubles and complexities.

In all these conditons a recognised social status and power helps you and your family.

Why do you think in many places gays are demanding the rights to marry whether religion provides it or not?

 

[Strata Uchiha]

If I'm getting married my woman is signing a prenup. Not that I don't trust her but just in case....

Well if it's Kim Kardashian or Lindsay Lohan that you're marrying then....yeah, I can see why. ^^

 

[UzumakiZoey]

If I'm getting married my woman is signing a prenup. Not that I don't trust her but just in case....

oooooooooh.. you rich? LOL!

 

[TheCheesasaurus]

Getting married is no different then getting some one a gift as a representation of how much love them. it gives them security in that you are devoted to them and only them. its just a higher form of security then a gift.

I would think of it because if i was in love, i would think of ways to prove to her that i love her and only her and make her feel secure with me. It might not be my first idea but i think i would eventually get there.

 

[uzumakikenshin]

Agreed.

The concept of marriage didn't come up out of blue on day because someone somewhere wanted to have a party. It's an idea and institution which came into existence with development of society.

A marriage signifies start of the smallest but a formal unit of any society. Society emphases it via means of Religious or legal pressure for it's own sake.

It wasn't a local phenomena but all the cultures and societies around the world developed it and put it into effect. Some rules may have been varied and some forms may have had more freedoms than others but more less every society realized the importance of stability of a family for the most part.

Love or *** is part of marriage not the sole objective and you are exaggerating it by tons. What counts in a long relationships are the feelings of mutual empathy, sympathy caring and the companionship you develop with all the time spent together. Marriage is foundation of a family and a promise to be there at best as well as worst of the times. It's not just a vague idea of romantic love which holds it together.

That piece of paper which binds two people is promise of security and provides a social, legal and moral backup to the family. It strengthens the bond and is a reminder that starting a family is not just fun and games. It's a serious business.

Legal binding by the way of marriage is how society encourages people to keep those promises and encourages people to live together. It tells people that it's not that bad and if something happened to break the bond it will provide the needed support and cut down the number of loses to an extent.
And that, if the one person one day declares that they don't care anymore it wouldn't mean that the other party and kids will lose everything.

When someone is trusting you with everything, You have a power over him/her and along comes responsibility. Because both parties make several compromises when they start to live with each other. Not always in their best interest on individual level. But they still do for the sake of the family and the other person.

If for some reason it doesn't succeed, the kids of the union are also going to be affected along with the couple. One of the parties involved, usually the females suffer because they are also the care giver of the most families around the world and end up sacrificing their career is one way or other.

Frankly people are selfish. men as well as women. If you are going to demand eternal sacrifices sufferings for a brat so that someone permanantly caries your name get ready to bare some responsibility.

It's really stupid to think all woman want is to be a mother and take care of it. Society fills up the mind of a baby girl with these ideas since childhood so that they just don't refuse to do it when time comes. It's called basic instinct of survival. This society made the system of marriage for it's own good. And mostly it were men who made them.

In the developed countries where women are more and more career oriented not only less of them want to get married, those who are, are not always interested in having kids. Because it affects them adversely. Body gets through sever changes, stress and strain and the process and aftermath caring of child leads to lost opportunities at work.

Exactly why should they care if men want kids? What if the guy says he changed his mind and declared that since there is no love in the relationship anymore after several years of living together? The other party has been investing it's time energy as well whether they were earning member or not ( In a lot of households around the world women often work 24/7 putting in a lot into unpaid jobs.) and then suddenly find themselves at the street. Very often it's already too late for them to start something worth while and by then they have lost their prime age for a good career on their own.

Why men want to have a say in the birth or bringing up of a child if they are not committed enough to be there. Why they should expect mothers to care for a kid she may feel an unnnecessary baggage?

Then there are times when people are rendered incapacitated to take decisions on their own. They need someone to take make their financial/medical/social decisions for them. A legal status given to somone you can trust is so much better and saves a lot of troubles and complexities.

In all these conditons a recognised social status and power helps you and your family.

Why do you think in many places gays are demanding the rights to marry whether religion provides it or not?

very well said... thanks for the rep.. you too deserved it...


as i've said earlier... MARRIAGE is not just a form of proving your love to one another but a promise of giving security to someone that you love and for the children that you would soon have...
not just a bind in paper but a promise of support and shared responsibilities with both parties...

If you think that MARRIAGE is JUST a form of proving your LOVE well you got it wrong... it's an old fantasy... a matured person thinks ahead of himself and the future of the one he protects and love.... MARRIAGE is higher form of SECURITY and PROTECTION...

 

[lswhyte123]

Ah, very well played sir. Do you want to know why you'll have to get married eventually if you're in a relationship for a long time? I'll explain.

For one reason or another, more often than not, it is a lady's life long dream to get married. Moreover, they want there wedding to be a lavish spectacle as well because this will be the most joyful day of there entire life.

Not all ladies feel this way mind you, but a great majority of them.

Very well put.

Well honestly maybe i would reinvent it...

Most of us think that Marriage is just there to prove that you are in love with each other, or to have another person where you share your bills or living consumption but no, there is more to it than papers and everything...

1. It costs too much from preparations up to everything.... yes it can but you can always do civil marriage (without churches and just an intimate gathering or reception to celebrate your bond)

2. You trust one another so no need to be married - yes of course, you can just live with her and love one another for eternity without those legal papers and everything... but getting married wouldn't hurt right? and also it gives your partner additional security that you are willing to take part with her life, be responsible along with her not just verbally but legally. It's not just an issue of trust but of security that you are willing to give...


3. Marriage is not just proving that you love someone, you must not just think for the both of you but also for your future generations, your own children in the future... If you are married legally there are rights that your children can have than any illegitimate child and wives (not that i have any against them or what , im just stating a fact), you wouldn't know when your love for each other will last, what if it ends and you have a child to take care of? at least you have something to prove that your partner must not just abandon you and your child for whatever reason...


4. It gives more doors for cheating, yes you may say that even married people cheats or hey if you truly love someone you'll not cheat whether married or not, but being not married gives you more reason to cheat... being married gives you a bond, an added reason to stay with each other...


so yes... It would be reinvented...In this world it's not just trust, security is a big issue in the society... also Im okay living together at first before getting married... Im open to that.. but If we agree to have a child so marriage first before anything... this is my OWN point of view... (In this issue several aspects are needed to be considered : CULTURE, FAMILY, SOCIETY, RELIGION)

A very good set of points which I will come back to buddy. +rep of course for thought.

I'm not bashing marriage and it's holiness and all but I do believe true love for another person is not shown through marriage, nor is commitment. Through the ages, I guess, it just has become a ritual majority of the people just overrated it. LOL.

I agree mostly.

Getting married is no different then getting some one a gift as a representation of how much love them. it gives them security in that you are devoted to them and only them. its just a higher form of security then a gift.

I would think of it because if i was in love, i would think of ways to prove to her that i love her and only her and make her feel secure with me. It might not be my first idea but i think i would eventually get there.

Agree to some extent.