I want to compare relationship troubles

[NarutoB]

i had a crazy ex girlfriend that told everyone in school i made fun of her dad for having cancer.........i didnt

Well she's the one that lied about such a terrible thing. Tbh you came out on top here, so that's a win.

 

[Ficklefire]

Eventually, I decided I was going to do something to cheer her up. I've always been a "good guy." I'm not the "nice guy," but I'm a "good guy." I'm playfully abrasive and I've always been very friendly, outwardly. With that in mind, it's worth noting that I've always been the opposite of well off, financially. I've been poor since about 2004, when my family's business went under and I had to move into a trailer in a different state. Even still, I decided to spent all the money I'd gathered in the last month or so (that I could spare) to get her some really nice flowers and a small gift that I could afford.

I showed up at her door with the flowers, which were my favorite color.

Her grandpa (the same one that'd walked into the living room a while ago) answered the door and appraised me with some kind of dark look. I knew why he was worried, but I didn't know what to say. Instead, I held up the flowers and passed over the little box with the simplest (and only) thing I could say: "These're for her, will you tell her I'm here?"

He smiled a little, but he didn't let me in. I could see why; there was no way she'd want me to see her in a state like that. She was also super worried that it was somehow transmittable, and seeing as I'd been around her all the time, it was pretty likely that I was going to get it too. Her parents, who lived in a different state, actually blamed me for giving it to her. I won't pretend it didn't hurt, but it did make me smile to know that they knew exactly who I was and how much time I was spending with their daughter. It meant that she talked about me to other people, and that was kind of comforting-- because you'd better believe I was telling everybody about how awesome SHE was.

Towards the end of October, she started showing a bit of improvement. Most of her organs had stabilized, and she seemed to be in full recovery. That was awesome! It meant that I was going to keep my new best friend and that kept me sane. The workload of my classes had been starting to get to me, and I was starting to get pressured into a whole lot of things. My family has always been fairly... unusual... and as a result, I often end up in the middle of some shady dealings. To have a beacon like her in my life was amazing; it prevented me from sinking deeper into the ground than I already was.

At one point, I found out she was moving from the apartment complex she'd been living in to a full-grown house down the block. It was a quaint little place that smelled of spices and seemed much roomier than it actually was. They offered to pay me for my help (as I'd been a football player for a few years prior, and I'd always been into strength training), but I denied the payment and offered to do it just because I liked them. I did, by the way, genuinely like all of them. They were nice to me, and they didn't judge me for being a little bit weirder than most people. My sense of humor was funny to them, and my awkward phobias were never mentioned.

The first thing I noticed about helping them move (and by that, I mean moving them by myself) was that she still had the flowers I brought her on her windowsill. I smiled to myself for the first time in what had seemed like a long while and continued on. The rest of the move went pretty well, even though I accidentally dropped their TV on the concrete (muscle fatigue; sssh though, they never knew a thing about it).

When I was invited to a dinner at their house after she got better, I wasn't particularly shocked. I hadn't eaten with them before, but I wasn't about to object. Social phobias of eating in front of other people be damned, that girl wanted me over for dinner!

I arrived sometime before it was ready to help her cook, since she was cooking the meal I'd chosen. One thing I found out pretty quickly was that I really suck at spreading out panko, which is like this weird breading for chicken. She didn't mind, though. She helped me deal with the mess I'd made and we laughed it off, playing with the food and preparing the meal as best we could.

She was an amazing cook. It was easily the best chicken I've ever had.

I remember that night really fondly. We'd played footsie under the table, exchanged hand signs, and I'd gotten along with her family very well. At one point, she had to drag me away from the table (under the pretense of brushing her teeth), to tell me that I couldn't say "rimjob" at the dinner table in front of her grandparents.

It was arguably the cutest thing I've ever seen, seeing her jumping up and down with a toothbrush in her mouth, trying frantically to explain to me how not to tell stories about things foreign exchange kids said to me in the bathroom. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time, and I have to admit, it was a pretty good feeling.

After that, I was a daily visitor of their household.

I'd come over in the middle of the night and stay until the early morning, curling up and telling stories or trading random facts, or baking cookies with her. We'd go out for pizza runs to the 24-hour store (the convenience store I'd mentioned earlier), walking through the shadowy streets of the village and getting random things that seemed to grab our attention. We went everywhere together, and it wasn't long before people started asking me about what it was that we had going on.

By the time late November came around, I just knew that SOMETHING had to go wrong. It had been bubbling somewhere in my gut, but I'd managed to stifle it for as long as I could. It was then that I introduced her to a friend of mine from the area-- and it was then that things started to go horribly wrong.

 

[lswhyte123]

Your relationship was shallow to begin with.
The first sign of failure would be enough for me to end it. I get aggitated when people around me (especially women) chase their man's butt when they're not even treated right or the man's motive is shallow. Yet, they still choose to chase their lover's ass. Pathetic.

Luckily, my gf is more of a soulmate. Our relatinship is built on friendship and emotional support.

If you are lucky enough to have a good partner, maybe don't rub it in anyone's face may come back and bite you on the behind. Humouring aside, I'm glad you found someone who brings you happiness

My relationship lasted for about 8 months.

I met her 2 years ago at a friends house because he threw a party. We were talking for like 3-4 hours and we had the same interests n stuff so I asked her number at the time her parents came to pick her up. Later that evening I added her on Facebook and texted her and we had so many conversations. On that same week I asked if she got any plans for the weekend, so I asked her out.

We had a relationship that lasted for 8 months like I said. And all the misery started when she became jealous as f*** when I was standing next to a girl of my own god damn class, I told her that I was loyal to her and she needed to trust me and that she was all I need (blabla cute stuff). At one point I exploded, I had enough reasons and I said that it was over between us.

But now the most ridiculous part of all, I never looked at any other girl except her during our relationship. She was already dating a friend of mine 3 weeks after our relationship.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

These things happen, sadly she probably got into another relationship as a kind of rebound. Bare in mind that some people simply cannot be alone. Maybe she'll grow one day, but it sounds like you've got your feet on the ground.

Thank you.

I guess my problem is I give too much in my relationships, while the man gives only a little. When I fall, I fall hard and that guy is treated like a Prince/King. Wouldn't mind feeling like a Princess/Queen but it never happens and I don't expect it to, but for once it would be nice... I just seem to go for the wrong type of guy who only has one thing on his mind.

Take things easy. Go slow for the first year. If someone is willing to wait for something to develop naturally and not force it, you may find someone who treats you on an equal level. To you he'll be a King. To him you'll be the Queen who makes a kingdom worth having
Also, think of the simple fart. If you gotta force it, careful, cause it may be shit.

I've never been in a relationship and I never will be.

How old are you?
You will one day eat those words, and likely you'll do so with pleasure

Be happy, eventually someone like-minded will pop along and join you. Tends to come as a surprise

 

[Gamaken]

If you are lucky enough to have a good partner, maybe don't rub it in anyone's face may come back and bite you on the behind. Humouring aside, I'm glad you found someone who brings you happiness



These things happen, sadly she probably got into another relationship as a kind of rebound. Bare in mind that some people simply cannot be alone. Maybe she'll grow one day, but it sounds like you've got your feet on the ground.



Take things easy. Go slow for the first year. If someone is willing to wait for something to develop naturally and not force it, you may find someone who treats you on an equal level. To you he'll be a King. To him you'll be the Queen who makes a kingdom worth having
Also, think of the simple fart. If you gotta force it, careful, cause it may be shit.



How old are you?
You will one day eat those words, and likely you'll do so with pleasure

Be happy, eventually someone like-minded will pop along and join you. Tends to come as a surprise

It'll be easier for me not to get involved with that sort of thing. My situation is a bit difficult.

 

[Ficklefire]

Sorry about the delay, had to handle a problem on the other side of the house that took a couple of minutes for me to sort out.

When I introduced her to my friend John, I really thought that we were going to be a merry little band. If you've ever seen the way Robin Hood, Maid Marian and Little John interact, you can imagine what I was thinking. Unfortunately for me, I've never been a particularly lucky guy. Nor, I suppose, have I ever been someone who's been very wanted by others. People love me, sure, but all I do for a lot of people is "fill the void," so to speak. Like I said, I've always been very attracted to tragedy. I like to think that I can help these people with their problems, or that I might be able to secure some kind of place in their life.

With this girl, who I'm just going to call Marian, I had more than filled her void. I'd made her a bigger and a better person. I'd helped her wage war on her problems and I'd turned her into an outgoing individual (for the most part). Before I met her, she'd never really left her house or gone out with friends or even gone anywhere with another guy. I was literally the first person she had the chance to do those things with.

When she met John, they hit it off really quickly.

I found out they entered a relationship not too long after.

Almost immediately, the tone of MY relationship with Marian changed to reflect the changes she was experiencing from her relationship with John. We were more "couple-y" and physical than before. More private, more... Tight-knit. She didn't talk to me about him and I didn't talk about her with him, and for a little while, I was pretty confident that I could just skate by without facing the reality that she was having trouble deciding who it was that she wanted.

She would lie to him about hanging out with me (because, as it happened, John had already seen what was going on). She would say that she went for a walk or that she was headed up to the store, but really she'd just log off of her computer and we'd mess around at her place, or go for a trudge in the snow, or blow school off to play video games at her house.

A few weeks after their relationship had started, we got to talking about it-- and here comes the hard part to bear -- to where I found out something I shouldn't have. John hadn't mentioned a girl he'd dated before, named Ashley, to Marian.

"What about Ashley?" I interjected, genuinely curious.

When she wasn't able to tell me who Ashley was, I knew there was something strange going on. I approached Ashley the next time I saw her and asked her how she was dealing with her and John's breakup... as you might've pieced together by now, they didn't break up at any point. I'd been mistaken. I'd just kind of assumed that they'd broken up because a new relationship had begun, and my heart sank into my gut. Not only was the girl of my dreams "the other woman" to some guy I'd once thought was amazing, but she had no idea. She was being lied to by a guy who seemed to genuinely make her happy than I did.

I didn't know what to do for the longest time.

We got into a fight over something petty, our first actual fight, just before the holidays. I remember her telling me a lot of nasty things that I won't be able to forget for a long while. In a moment of anger, I let it slip that she was being cheated on by her new boyfriend-- and that, I shouldn't have done.

She, like me, had always been the host of a number of trust issues. There were very few people in the world that she could claim to trust, and in that moment, both of them had been invalidated. Not only had I revealed that I knew something and hadn't told her, but I revealed that she couldn't trust John either. What else was I supposed to say? I tried to comfort her beneath the falling snow. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight, but it just didn't matter at that point. Our little bond had been broken, and that was that.

She accused me of lying.

She said I was jealous, and that I was trying to split them apart so I could put myself into the picture. I can't emphasize how false that was. I had no such aspirations. In fact, my biggest doubt in telling her was that she'd think such a thing.

We parted ways with nasty words and snide remarks for the rest of the holidays, and we didn't talk again until later in the school year. As it turned out, I was about to undergo a surgery that could have left me crippled for life (which I'd rather not go into more detail on). I told her, via a quick message on a website, that I didn't want to go out in such a way that I'd have lost her friendship. I didn't apologize, because I knew I wasn't wrong, and I let it hang.

About a week later, she sent me something back.

She told me that she was sorry, and that she missed me. That it had taken everything she had not to reach out for me in the hallways between classes to tell me that she'd been stupid and I'd been right and that everything could still be okay between us.

And for a while, we were happy.

We resumed our little play dates, going to watch people paint and setting up for a fair that was going to come in the summertime. We got shakes and lounged around and went on midnight adventures like we were two of the three musketeers, and for a little while, I had a lot of hope.

It turned out, though, that she didn't break up with John.

He stayed in the picture, constantly reminding her not to get too close to me, and encouraging her fears that I was only there to hurt her. It had occurred to me, a handful of times actually, that I might have loved that girl. It wasn't something I was sure of, because it's not something I've ever felt before, but it was terrifying to understand. I tried to fight it for as long as I could, hoping that maybe if I ignored it, it'd go away.

Things don't work out like that, though.

By the time Summer rolled around, it was about time for me to move. I knew how she felt about it. She'd been crying herself to sleep about it, and having nightmares about it, and talking to herself in her sleep about it. It wasn't something she could hide. She was going to miss me, and I knew I was going to miss her, no matter what happened. It was unavoidable and the feeling was insurmountable. I have to admit that had she asked me to stay, for her, I might've. I might've thrown my future away for a Summer and just spent my time with her, lounging around and baking and cuddling and watching movies.

I hadn't been able to turn her down when she'd asked me back to bed; I wasn't going to be able to turn her down for just one Summer. One Summer out of the rest of my life, y'know?

But Marian never asked.

When the day came for me to leave, she seemed resigned to it. I'd tried to comfort her beforehand, I'd tried to let her know that I wasn't abandoning her, but in the long run?

She just didn't believe me.

I went to hug her goodbye, maybe give her a peck on the cheek and wish her good luck, but she didn't rise to meet me. Instead, she looked up at me with these dark eyes that were never quite her own, and with a trembling voice, she whispered:

"Goodbye."

 

[Gamaken]

Sorry about the delay, had to handle a problem on the other side of the house that took a couple of minutes for me to sort out.

When I introduced her to my friend John, I really thought that we were going to be a merry little band. If you've ever seen the way Robin Hood, Maid Marian and Little John interact, you can imagine what I was thinking. Unfortunately for me, I've never been a particularly lucky guy. Nor, I suppose, have I ever been someone who's been very wanted by others. People love me, sure, but all I do for a lot of people is "fill the void," so to speak. Like I said, I've always been very attracted to tragedy. I like to think that I can help these people with their problems, or that I might be able to secure some kind of place in their life.

With this girl, who I'm just going to call Marian, I had more than filled her void. I'd made her a bigger and a better person. I'd helped her wage war on her problems and I'd turned her into an outgoing individual (for the most part). Before I met her, she'd never really left her house or gone out with friends or even gone anywhere with another guy. I was literally the first person she had the chance to do those things with.

When she met John, they hit it off really quickly.

I found out they entered a relationship not too long after.

Almost immediately, the tone of MY relationship with Marian changed to reflect the changes she was experiencing from her relationship with John. We were more "couple-y" and physical than before. More private, more... Tight-knit. She didn't talk to me about him and I didn't talk about her with him, and for a little while, I was pretty confident that I could just skate by without facing the reality that she was having trouble deciding who it was that she wanted.

She would lie to him about hanging out with me (because, as it happened, John had already seen what was going on). She would say that she went for a walk or that she was headed up to the store, but really she'd just log off of her computer and we'd mess around at her place, or go for a trudge in the snow, or blow school off to play video games at her house.

A few weeks after their relationship had started, we got to talking about it-- and here comes the hard part to bear -- to where I found out something I shouldn't have. John hadn't mentioned a girl he'd dated before, named Ashley, to Marian.

"What about Ashley?" I interjected, genuinely curious.

When she wasn't able to tell me who Ashley was, I knew there was something strange going on. I approached Ashley the next time I saw her and asked her how she was dealing with her and John's breakup... as you might've pieced together by now, they didn't break up at any point. I'd been mistaken. I'd just kind of assumed that they'd broken up because a new relationship had begun, and my heart sank into my gut. Not only was the girl of my dreams "the other woman" to some guy I'd once thought was amazing, but she had no idea. She was being lied to by a guy who seemed to genuinely make her happy than I did.

I didn't know what to do for the longest time.

We got into a fight over something petty, our first actual fight, just before the holidays. I remember her telling me a lot of nasty things that I won't be able to forget for a long while. In a moment of anger, I let it slip that she was being cheated on by her new boyfriend-- and that, I shouldn't have done.

She, like me, had always been the host of a number of trust issues. There were very few people in the world that she could claim to trust, and in that moment, both of them had been invalidated. Not only had I revealed that I knew something and hadn't told her, but I revealed that she couldn't trust John either. What else was I supposed to say? I tried to comfort her beneath the falling snow. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight, but it just didn't matter at that point. Our little bond had been broken, and that was that.

She accused me of lying.

She said I was jealous, and that I was trying to split them apart so I could put myself into the picture. I can't emphasize how false that was. I had no such aspirations. In fact, my biggest doubt in telling her was that she'd think such a thing.

We parted ways with nasty words and snide remarks for the rest of the holidays, and we didn't talk again until later in the school year. As it turned out, I was about to undergo a surgery that could have left me crippled for life (which I'd rather not go into more detail on). I told her, via a quick message on a website, that I didn't want to go out in such a way that I'd have lost her friendship. I didn't apologize, because I knew I wasn't wrong, and I let it hang.

About a week later, she sent me something back.

She told me that she was sorry, and that she missed me. That it had taken everything she had not to reach out for me in the hallways between classes to tell me that she'd been stupid and I'd been right and that everything could still be okay between us.

And for a while, we were happy.

We resumed our little play dates, going to watch people paint and setting up for a fair that was going to come in the summertime. We got shakes and lounged around and went on midnight adventures like we were two of the three musketeers, and for a little while, I had a lot of hope.

It turned out, though, that she didn't break up with John.

He stayed in the picture, constantly reminding her not to get too close to me, and encouraging her fears that I was only there to hurt her. It had occurred to me, a handful of times actually, that I might have loved that girl. It wasn't something I was sure of, because it's not something I've ever felt before, but it was terrifying to understand. I tried to fight it for as long as I could, hoping that maybe if I ignored it, it'd go away.

Things don't work out like that, though.

By the time Summer rolled around, it was about time for me to move. I knew how she felt about it. She'd been crying herself to sleep about it, and having nightmares about it, and talking to herself in her sleep about it. It wasn't something she could hide. She was going to miss me, and I knew I was going to miss her, no matter what happened. It was unavoidable and the feeling was insurmountable. I have to admit that had she asked me to stay, for her, I might've. I might've thrown my future away for a Summer and just spent my time with her, lounging around and baking and cuddling and watching movies.

I hadn't been able to turn her down when she'd asked me back to bed; I wasn't going to be able to turn her down for just one Summer. One Summer out of the rest of my life, y'know?

But Marian never asked.

When the day came for me to leave, she seemed resigned to it. I'd tried to comfort her beforehand, I'd tried to let her know that I wasn't abandoning her, but in the long run?

She just didn't believe me.

I went to hug her goodbye, maybe give her a peck on the cheek and wish her good luck, but she didn't rise to meet me. Instead, she looked up at me with these dark eyes that were never quite her own, and with a trembling voice, she whispered:

"Goodbye."

That's such a sad story... it's all Johns fault. What happened with John?

 

[Ficklefire]

That's such a sad story... it's all Johns fault. What happened with John?

To my knowledge, they're still together. We didn't really talk after that and I cut ties with most of the people from my old town, but the last time I checked, they were still tagged as "in a relationship" on facebook... but mind you, I haven't checked in a long time.

When she and I parted ways for the first time, around January, he more or less became her rock-- even if he had broken her foundations. It was something that confused me, especially because she wanted all three of us to become friends again, like we were before. She expected me to forgive him, but I couldn't forgive him for hurting her like that. I hadn't even forgiven myself, at the time.

 

[Gamaken]

To my knowledge, they're still together. We didn't really talk after that and I cut ties with most of the people from my old town, but the last time I checked, they were still tagged as "in a relationship" on facebook... but mind you, I haven't checked in a long time.

When she and I parted ways for the first time, around January, he more or less became her rock-- even if he had broken her foundations. It was something that confused me, especially because she wanted all three of us to become friends again, like we were before. She expected me to forgive him, but I couldn't forgive him for hurting her like that. I hadn't even forgiven myself, at the time.

I don't think you need to forgive yourself for anything, I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. If John hadn't come along and ruined everything, things would probably be better for both you and Marian. Why would he have two relationships at once, when one of the people he was with was already with one of his friends?

 

[Ficklefire]

I don't think you need to forgive yourself for anything, I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. If John hadn't come along and ruined everything, things would probably be better for both you and Marian. Why would he have two relationships at once, when one of the people he was with was already with one of friends?

I don't even know how he got away with it, much less why. To me, that girl was everything I ever wanted. To him, she was just his second-string. I guess it just never occurred to either of us to ask him about Ashley. I didn't, because I thought it went without saying... and she didn't because she had no idea. What made it perfect for him was when Ashley didn't have a facebook and she didn't even go to our school anymore. Had I not run into her at the market one day, I don't think I'd have ever found out the full story for sure.

Thanks, though. It means a lot. I honestly haven't told anyone about the full thing before, but I wasn't shocked to see it come out to like 4,000 words. I more or less just wrote an essay, so I'm sorry for making everyone read all of it.

 

[Gamaken]

I don't even know how he got away with it, much less why. To me, that girl was everything I ever wanted. To him, she was just his second-string. I guess it just never occurred to either of us to ask him about Ashley. I didn't, because I thought it went without saying... and she didn't because she had no idea. What made it perfect for him was when Ashley didn't have a facebook and she didn't even go to our school anymore. Had I not run into her at the market one day, I don't think I'd have ever found out the full story for sure.

Thanks, though. It means a lot. I honestly haven't told anyone about the full thing before, but I wasn't shocked to see it come out to like 4,000 words. I more or less just wrote an essay, so I'm sorry for making everyone read all of it.

It was definitely worth reading, so don't worry about that . I'm happy I could talk to you about it.

 

[The Dreamer]

What's a relationship? lolz