So today I dropped out of highschool and I'm already getting flack along the lines of my guardians being told "you'll be taking care of a deadbeat," and my uncles/aunts(I have a ton, 8+, so it's honestly hard to ignore) judgement is already pressing down on me. But the whole reason I dropped out was because I had screwed up way earlier on so I'd be in highschool till like 20(and that's assuming I did my work, I honestly lost motivation at the fact), and it was allowed by my guardian no less! Yet like a week or so ago when I mentioned the fact of dropping out and working while getting my diploma online, my guardian starting saying no and looking stressed out with hands clenched together while sitting afterwards.
I mean it's clear she doesn't care if I get the diploma or not too much(I believe she does care a bit), but the fact is she's purposely keeping me from work to continue receiving my check(I see it happening with my older brother). The problem is I have very little to my name and definitely go hungry for weeks when it dries, but want more and to change to that. Complicating this is the fact that I'd have to support the entire house of 4 and my guardian is my grandmother living with my granpa.. and you know everyone comes to grandmother when they looking for something to eat lol, she definitely has a ton of children.. I definitely don't want to ditch them, but how could I possibly make this situation better without breaking my back on minimum wage(no degree)? Anyways, I've definitely decided to get my diploma online, but that takes time...
Let go.
Be free.
And distance yourself if possible. Try to build friends in a far away place. Disappear if possible.
Children often do not succeed because parents fail to understand them emotionally and assist them in developing into emotionally independent individuals.
You must be registered for see links
Emotional neglect is the most damaging aspect of poor parenting as it has the greatest impact. Parents that are narcissistic torture their children by isolating them. Isolation causes the loss of cognitive capacity and emotional instability that ultimately leads to emotional dependency as the child will latch onto the parent and become their codependent.
In childhood, we are protected by the rahma - mercy - of allah, so we are not aware of this abuse, but after puberty, the child becomes aware and tries to break free if the parents continue with emotional dependency. In childhood, emotional dependency is necessary for survival, but in adulthood, it becomes hell. It is the cause of anxieties, depression and the lack of emotional management. Isolation causes mental breakdowns and loss of overall health. You find that these individuals are unable to care for themselves because when they feel happy or sad, they don't know what to do with that emotion or how to imagine it.
In extreme cases, these children are taught to distrust even themselves and only trust their parents who have pretty much abused them their whole life and used them as emotional fuel without the child's knowledge. And this same satanic parent proceeds to make them their co-dependent in adulthood as well which basically ruins their life.
Emotional mismanagement is a very serious and life threatening issue, I suggest you distance yourself immediately. Take care of your health, and rebuild yourself with therapy or exercise. Take the mentality of one step at a time, so long as each step makes you happier. If it becomes unbearable, find a person that you can trust such as a partner who will guide you into regaining emotional health. It is very important that you distance yourself and try to find people that will trust and support you.
In my case, I dropped out of university because I was doing a financial accounting course to try to gain my freedom and I was doing well, but then I received a phone call from home from my younger brother and he sounded really nervous, he told me he was going to do accounting and take over the family business in that field. I didn't want to betray him and neither did I want to be a part of the company because if I did, then it would break our family apart. I started getting depressed since that phone call. And eventually dropped out. You can't steal the position of others and expect to be respected.
If your parent is a narcissist, you need to get out of there ASAP or find a friend to help you overpower them or rely on your own somehow. I'm pretty much a gone case because I'm the rare extremely damaged person that can't even trust themselves.
If you find a friend to overpower your parent and alter their belief systems, then all those beneath them will benefit. Chances are your parent also suffered because she was deprived of the chance to attain emotional intelligence. The cycle can definitely be broken though. Almost all of my relatives in the United Kingdom all became graduates in engineering, economics, and chemistry etc. It needs time and patience though, and the mercy of Allah of course.
If you can't distance yourself and you're damaged to the extent that I am, I suggest that you take your dominant parent to a certified cognitive behavioral therapist and work on a solution to teach them how establish respect, trust and communication for better relationships and overall success. If the pilot is good enough, all the passengers will reach their destination safely. If you're trapped on the plane with a bad pilot, make friends and allies. And if you're locked in the bathroom and can't access the others to make friends or such, pray to Allah and keep patience, eventually someone might show up to help you and guide you into becoming the best version of yourself. After all, where there's a will, there's a way.
good luck.
