How far would you go for friendship

[sunclan]

For example, if your friend didn't drink or smoke and you did, or if they were vegetarian and you ate meat?

This would of course create clash when you go out at a party or to celebrate something, as they would have to manage separately, so you're drinking with your other buddies and this friend doesn't drink, that separates them from the group, would you be okay with it?

Do you base who you befriend based on their habits, character, believes or values? And how tolerant are you of other things?

I'm asking because today there was like a sort-of get together at my work, everyone got together made something and had a meal, I and some other don't eat something that others do, It's been like this for a while now, and very common where I live, and between everything I got the hint that others weren't really ok or were a bit spiteful that I was having to manage things myself, of course I make to sure to take care of my self and do my own things to make I cause no one trouble and everything goes smoothly, no one has to do anything for me or no trouble is caused to others. But I still felt that others were spiteful simply because I wasn't doing something they were, now I know most people live their lives on autopilot simply reacting to situations without even thinking what goes through their own head, or before and consequences of the situation, but idk it made me think.

of course I have other friends who I go out with and we only order the things I can too eat(because we share everything, to try different things) and they don't have a problem with that, or I'll have to confirm that. Anyway it made me think,
How far would you go for friendship? How much would you tolerate? How much DO you tolerate?

 

[chopstickchakra]

If my not drinking friend wants to be around drunk me and others drinking than why would I care if he doesn't want to drink. Not like I would say you can't hang out here you're not drinking.

If I'm eating meat and you're eating vegetables , as long as you're not telling me why I should eat vegetables or how I'm "wrong" to eat what I'm eating, what's it matter?

 

[Passerby]

If my not drinking friend wants to be around drunk me and others drinking than why would I care if he doesn't want to drink. Not like I would say you can't hang out here you're not drinking.

The sober friend can be the permanent designated driver!

 

[Harorudo]

I never had luck with friendship most my life and thus today I'm by myself. What I can remember when I was with my friends we had our differences with stuff we liked, ate or our beliefs and values for life. I accept most things and they knew that of me and I would tell my friends at the time if I was ok with what they did or were doing and so forth. They at the time accepted me for what I liked and etc so at the time we never had any problems.

When time went on people can change and for those friend's of mine they changed as people. They became not so friendly at the idea I did not do what they liked and they would argue with me constantly about it. A lot of drama happened and I became more sad that they were different now and started treating me poorly since I wasn't like them. I always stood my ground but it came to the point they leave me as a friend and hang with others like them. Sometimes I even made the tough call and went my separate way since it was affecting my health.

I was of coarse truly heartbroken why my friends would just leave and not accept me still even though we only have maybe one of two things now I'm common with each other. I'm not sure what friendship is mostly since I never met the right kinds of folks pretty much all my life and I can admit I got hurt by them a lot. However how I see friendship even though I don't have too much experience with it you should respect and accept others if there not into or do things like you do.

We all have likes and dislikes and so on. No one is the same and we are allowed to do and be what we want if it makes us happy. You cannot please everyone but know a true friend would stay with you and work through your differences you both have and try to be understanding more with each other. It is nice to have a lot in common with another person but if not it's completely alright and not bad. Don't change for them just be yourself. If they are your friend they love you for you.

 

[uchihamad]

I don't eat meat and drink at all...My friends never complained about that. My friends know me from childhood.

 

[HowDidIGetPrem]

Anything so long as it isn't intrusive or based on indiscriminate violence. I guess that brings everything down to a person's values and beliefs. Specifically their beliefs on what should and shouldn't bother other people because that's what intrusive behavior stems from. Some people would smoke in front your face and get pissy when you tell them to move away.

It goes the other way around too, some people always think others are being intrusive because they can't handle anything critical of them or are just super irritable. I guess I'd cut it at people who're either extremely pushy or too defensive.

 

[UCHIHAKUNOICHI]

I don't have friendship with people who drink at all. I usually even avoid taking private talks with them. Just the professioonal talk about reports etc these kind of things.
If you are talking about an official lunch at work. Well. You. ARE. obligated to stay with them.
If you have the choice to be somewhere else while they drink, smoke, then so be it. Work is work at the end of the day.

 

[Callypigia]

Befriending people with different beliefs, values, backgrounds, etc. is good. People who pressure you to act against your values, morals, principles are not friends. Violating those will create cognitive dissonance, and engaging in behaviors that go against your beliefs can cause emotional distress/anger turned inward. Co-workers typically aren't friends, and you have to be careful with personal/work boundaries. These people can influence your employment and mobility within an agency.