How do you learn how to speak properly?

[Chikombo]

I know how to speak, so that you don't ruin other people's feeling and upset them and stuff.
But I don't know how to speak so I don't ruin my own reputation, as of now I just keep on talking whatever thought is in my head and it never stops, if I was in a dictatorship where they didn't let me speak I would probably get killed.
I feel like this is a skill I need to learn, or someone is gonna diss me in public and then the entire universe will always know me as the person who embarassed himself, like I wouldn't have a problem with being wrong.
But I don't think having a bad reputations is beneficial in the long run.

 

[YowYan]

Filtering your words is a skill you learn over time. The fact you already recognize this about yourself is already a step in the right direction.

 

[salamander uchiha]

Consciousness

 

[Ninjackda]

Anime English subs plus Grammarly whenever I wrote my thesis, assignments, etc. I've learned enough on these two.

 

[Troi]

I don’t think you should filter yourself if that is who you are. Don’t limit yourself for others. Be free and yourself. Others will hate you. Not because of what you say, but because your brain isn’t in shackles and theirs is. They all have on a brown shirt. They’ll be mad you have on a red one. You say their shirt sucks, and they will immediately develop this cult/pack mentality and act like the seagulls from Nemo. Repeating the same meaningless chatter. However, you spoke your mind because that was you. They spoke each other’s minds because they’re not unique. They’re five or however many of the same people. Be yourself. Keep talking. And if the people around you don’t like it, you need to surround yourself with people on your vibration.

 

[Legendary Saiyan]

Influence

 

[Morphorous]

Reading books and I believe my English proficiency has improved a lot when I wrote a lot of thesis back in college.

 

[Michelle]

I don't think this is related to the language, i guess it's related to your thoughts.
You are maybe too honest and always speak your mind but there is a self censoring thing who makes other people to not be as honest as you are.
If expressing yourself puts you in bad light you can think before saying something at how would you perceive the same thing if someone else would say it.
After a while is becoming an exercise to think before speaking when you are in a company you don't fully trust, representing people who can misjudge you.
That doesn't mean you have to change or cease to tell the truth of your mind, but to evaluate the moment and with who you are doing this

 

[Avani]

I don't know how to speak so I don't ruin my own reputation, as of now I just keep on talking whatever thought is in my head and it never stops

It's definitely a skill.
Better mastery over words and language helps. If you have a rich vocabulary and learn to express yourself better, you can avoid half the troubles. One can learn to control his tone and temper. It may need some practice but goes a long way.

 

[Infant]

It depends on what you mean by "properly".

If you mean fancy words and legally perfect manners, then surrounding yourself with those who speak thusly will naturally help. We learn from our surroundings. Well, at least people do, from what i have seen. To counter-boost this, avoid surroundings that don't use fancy wording and perfect prose.

If you mean according to the proper value of words - which is to express meanings more accurately for the listener, then you must know what you mean and understand what others hear when you speak - communication is only partly spoken language. If you are properly familiar with yourself and your meaning, you will easier express both.

Consider who has done a better job with their words between a kid who says: " me hungry", and an adult who says: "the pangs rumble from their slumber". One is more likely to win a Nobel Whatever Prize. One is more likely to be understood and suitably responded to.

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

Bro, I have the opposite problem. My entire experience with others is not being able to say anything because I have a mental block out of anxiety.

 

[Infant]

Bro, I have the opposite problem. My entire experience with others is not being able to say anything because I have a mental block out of anxiety.

Before we communicate, there must be a worthy and willing target for our expressions.


This worth is decided implicidly based on how we perceive them and the willingness is recognised instinctively through the same route. So i think your problem lies more with your audience than yourself.
Now in a world with imperfect people, you could and should strengthen yourself (this process is not nearly as linear as it sounds, it doesn't even apply in the same field that the words 'strengthen' imply) to be able to speak up - as some of your expressions are quite important even if your crowd is not very welcoming, like when an outcast sees a tsunami coming before anyone else - but that would be no different from wearing armour to crush thorns underfoot. That is to say, it would not solve the core problem of thorns existing in your path in the first place.


My conviction in this matter is further fortified by your own expression of this problem. Based on the quoted text, i think you're a perfect speaker. You have a good enough vocabulary to say what you mean but are also composed and attuned with others enough to be straightforward with them, essentially speaking in such a way that no words are wasted as when SPoP wasted no movements against Jiraiya due to their shared vision. So i really think you must solve your audience above all else.

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

Thanks, you might be right though Idk what it'll take for me to find people I can talk to.