Here we go my first fanfiction...havent even got a name for it yet...

[Fearmonger]

Thunder is booming outside and rain is pouring down heavily on a mountain near the land of iron

Kuttaku: Tetsu I need you to get out of here. Here,take the family staff.

Little Tetsu is handed a silver mid-sized staff with bat designs on it

Tetsu: But mama why?

Kuttaku: No time for that now. Just go! Run and head for Kumo!

there is a violent banging at the door of the house

Kukkaku: (whispering) No wait go in the kitchen and go out through the backdoor.

there is more banging and you hear a voice outside the door.

Man: Gentlemen,break this nigga door down...

the door is busted open but Tetsu can see nothing as he is running away from the house but as he is running he can hear a little of the conversation before it disappears in the dark horizon

Man: Pimp Style:Bich Slap no Jutsu!

After many hours of running non stop Tetsu sees the beginnings of the walls of Kumogakure and is relieved.

This is the beginning of the seiries. It will continue if I get positive enough critique. What do you guys think?

 

[izinagi54]

ok then ..... ummmm thats it (my comment)
but its kinda funny

 

[Fearmonger]

ok then ..... ummmm thats it (my comment)
but its kinda funny

But does it deserve to continue?

 

[izinagi54]

But does it deserve to continue?

go for it:noc:

 

[Rovian]

The "Bich Slap no Jutsu!" part was funny. xd

 

[Yuka]

it was quite amusing nice work

 

[Fearmonger]

Thanks for your input guys. Ill make another.

 

[Sophie Ezra]

not bad plus rep for effort keep up the good work