What do you say, Genisys? I say seek help.
You're not proving to anyone that you are more of a man (not that i believe you implied that, just making a point) for having more *** in unconventional ways. Instead you are choosing to give into your primitive sensual desires, and the need for sexual domination. So your emotions are controlling you. You are a slave to your sensual desires. And sooner or later if you continue down this path you will be hurt, and you will regret it.
You see for us guys, sexual arousal starts with the eyes. People don't think how powerfull pornography affects people, it does, specially if we start watching porno in early teen years. It is in those crucial years of development where sexual behavior starts, and solidifies. So then, when pornography is watched it really acts more like a hyper pseudo-reality of sexual acts and fantasies. For the brain this acts like a sort-of-eye-crack drug. It's not good. The more you watch and act on porno, the more you are desensitize to how natural sexual desire works. Even more sadly, you really think and believe that's how *** is supposed to be like--its not, it doesn't even come close. The saddest part to all of this is women are no longer seen as the soul-completing, beautiful, enigmatic, and majestic creatures that they are. Much like how most women (or men) are portrayed in porno, they are instead simply objects of desire. A hollow an empty meat bag. Such perceptions will negatively affect your relationships, sociability, and your integrity.
So how is it that I'm talking about porn when you're talking about having *** with married women? You see, what we choose to set our eyes on eventually becomes who we are. Besides, any deviation of norms, like addiction, any type of addiction, stems from a defense mechanism for pain/anxiety. Sexual addiction is less about the *** and more about filling the hole in your heart. But there's hope!
There's a hope in coming to terms with your past, your pains, and yourself. Truth and Love does this through Grace, by faith. It is the one thing that will truly set you free and make you alive again; make you a whole new you! If you wanna be free, truly I'll tell you, get to know who Jesus Christ is. Inbox me if you want. We can get through this, or not. Your choice. Regardless, I'm compel to wanna help you out. Even if you reject the offering of salvation, freedom, and a victorious living, you may call this number to get secular professional help for sexual addiction: 1-877-456-3313.
Either way, God does love you. He loves us all so much much that even when we were still His enemy He sent His only begotten son to die for us in our place, so that we may reconcile back to the Father to the way it was supposed to be. Know the Son, you'll know the Father. Believe in the Son and the gift of Heaven is yours. Either way, I'll pray for you.
-Peace
