Heartbroken & Torn Apart

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Revyy

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You send messages everyday
You say It's my fault that you feel this way
You might get right, but good don't come overnight
You blame me so you will feel right.

Treated bad Mike Jackson
You need to stop before I take action
Talking to me like I'm the bad guy
When It's your fault I said goodbye.

I wish I never felt anything for you
So did you really mean I Love You?
You send me messages while I'm in bed
So you won't hear the thoughts going through my head.

You make me feel bad, a lot that's true
I guess that's because in some twisted way, I still love you
Always loving you is what I said
Our love circle is just sim
ply bent.

Don't take that I love you meaning we can be us again
The reason I left is because you caused such a fuss
Looking at me in that mean way all the time
You looked over me like a line.

You treated me like I was a dog
Treating me so much lower than them all
Taking your friends over me
Always talking to me like It would never be the end of we

When I left you begged and said sorry
But I knew It was just another story
I knew you would go back to that old life
That's how men get stuck with bad wives.


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We made memories, and we had fun.
Something happened and we were done.
It happened quick and it hurt like hell.
Not just talking about the moment that I fell.
I did not see it coming.
I should have started running.
Seconds, minutes, days.
It could have gone different in so many ways.
You left me behind, and moved on with another.
You made me feel like just every other.
 
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Urda

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Pft! Teenagers. >_> Sounds like Pop music and the lyrics came to thought from a bad break-up. Who is Mike Jackson? Are you a Taylor Swift Account? 0_o

Anyway, they were nice. Felt a attempt of a story in the first one, but no emotion. Second one, nothing as well. It is like you are speaking of what someone else is feeling and not what you feel.
 

Revyy

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Pft! Teenagers. >_> Sounds like Pop music and the lyrics came to thought from a bad break-up. Who is Mike Jackson? Are you a Taylor Swift Account? 0_o

Anyway, they were nice. Felt a attempt of a story in the first one, but no emotion. Second one, nothing as well. It is like you are speaking of what someone else is feeling and not what you feel.
I'm 22 years old. I guess this was more or less not my best work, but I kinda figured people wouldn't get it at all. Mike Jackson I won't say. It's not about a breakup actually, It's about Verbal Abuse. I had to edit some of it for the children on the base, so that is probably why you think that.

Besides It takes an abuse victim to get the meaning behind these.

That being said, thanks for the constructive criticism. =)
 
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Urda

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I'm 22 years old. I guess this was more or less not my best work, but I kinda figured people wouldn't get it at all. Mike Jackson I won't say. It's not about a breakup actually, It's about Verbal Abuse. I had to edit some of it for the children on the base, so that is probably why you think that.

Besides It takes an abuse victim to get the meaning behind these.

That being said, thanks for the constructive criticism.
I try with constructive criticism. I usually do not speak on things. My bad if I sound rude from my earlier post. Trying to be funny. I would want to read the original than the edited. Anyway, you're welcome.
 

Revyy

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I try with constructive criticism. I usually do not speak on things. My bad if I sound rude from my earlier post. Trying to be funny. I would want to read the original than the edited. Anyway, you're welcome.
No, It means a lot. I like when people point out things, It can only make me a better writer you know? I laughed at the Taylor Swift thing, cuz I despise her music with a passion!
 

〜Angel Reborn〜

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I can understand how u feel more than any other Feli :hug: I have been going thru it in the past n m still leavin thru it now.. U have said n put together the words Id like to have told my ex - perfectly :hug: I havent been the same since my last ex - n I kno what you are going thru. Know that I am always here as I always have been :hug:
 
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