It's finally here!! This is my main project right now, and I'm really proud of it so far. Oh, and for the word Daymare, that's how I'm spelling it, like Nightmare, except during the Day. 
And... I think this is the only FF I wrote where I didn't explain the character in the first chapter! xd And... I think I had a bit too much Dialogue... Advice/Comments/Criticism??
Chapter 1
“She broke down in Civics again!” a guy said.
“Really? What happened to her this time?” a girl asked.
The usual gossip. The same thing happened every week, but they never learned. She was tired of people talking about her. “Shut up! We go through this every week! Find something else to talk about!”
“She spoke! I thought Mavi only knew how to cry!” the guy laughed, along with the girl. They walked away laughing so loudly, she swore the kids on the other side of the building heard them.
She hated people like them. They would never understand her. She barely understood herself. She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't control it. At least the school day was over. She could hide from everyone for the rest of the day. There was no point being outside if people were just going to laugh at her. There was nothing funny about a girl crying. The world was messed up if someone crying was funny.
She ran out of the school building, ignoring all the people who laughed at her. She wanted to change the world, but it wasn't worth it yet. She would try to change the world when she wouldn't have to hide anymore. She had promises to fulfill, and she would keep her word.
As she walked home she saw something at the corner of her eye, and then she was knocked down on the ground. Her left wrist hurt a little bit, and her right ankle felt like a rock was inside it. Everything else appeared to be okay.
“Look who I found!” somebody exclaimed. Her heart felt like it stopped. It couldn't be.
“Oh? The brat from seven years ago? I thought she died. That explains a lot,” someone else said. Then she felt someone grab her injured wrist, and lifted her off the ground. The wrist must have been more injured than she thought. It felt like it was about to break off.
“What should we do, Boss? This girl caused us a lot of trouble,” the guy holding her asked.
She remembered those two. She met them when she was little, but it didn't end well. The boss had short black hair and blazing red eyes. She never looked at his outfit because it made her sick just to look at his face. She never got a good look at his lackey's face, but she remembered his voice.
“We could easily kill her, but there would be no fun in that. Torturing her would amuse us for a bit. The question is what should we do with her after wards? She won't keep her mouth shut. Do you have any ideas on what we should do with her?” the boss asked.
They were acting like she wouldn't do anything! She wasn't as weak as she was seven years ago. She was already in an awful mood, and she didn't want to deal with them.
“We can get rid of her for good after wards. We have to get out of here before people see us. The last thing we need is a witness,” his lackey said quickly.
“I'm not the same as I was even years ago! I'll fight-” was all she managed to say before the images invaded her mind. Not again! It just happened in Civics! The incident from seven years ago was haunting her!
She was running as fast as she could. She could hear the shouting behind them very clearly. It was hard not to hear, “Kill them! Hurry up and kill those brats!” She didn't want to die! She didn't do anything wrong! She was just a kid!
“Don't worry,Mavi. We won't die,” someone said softly from behind her.
His voice again. As long as he was with her she wouldn't give up. “Kenji-” she said before the sound of bullets. Then she saw him in front of her. The blood was blinding. It was in the air, and then it flooded the ground. “Kenji!”
“R-Run. I knew w-what would happen if I p-protected you. O-One of us has to live, M-Mavi...” he choked out.
“Kenji? No, you said we wouldn't die!” she cried. It was her fault he was hurt. She was the one who screamed. He couldn't die because of her!
“R-Run. They can't be t-that far behind. T-They will kill you if you stay,” he whispered. “I-If the world was different t-this would not have happened. G-Goodbye, Mavi...”
“Kenji? You're joking, right? You can't die, Kenji!” she cried as she hugged Kenji, and blocked out the world. Then she woke up in the hospital, and Kenji was gone.
That memory always caused her throat to burn. She tried to hold it back, but the burning in her throat got worse. It was getting harder to breath, and then a small squeak left her mouth. The burning was getting worse every second; she couldn't hold it any longer. The tears rolled down her face, and then she started to wail.
“Shut up, brat! We can't afford to get caught because of your crying! You're just asking for-” the boss said.
“How about you give up before you get arrested?” she barely heard.
Oh great. The last thing she wanted was for somebody else to see her crying. She hated her life. It was filled with nothing but misery.
“Why would we give up? You're a brat just like this girl,” the lackey asked.
“I took a picture, and I called the cops! I hate those who use force to get what they want!” the third guy shouted.
He called the cops? That should have gave her a reason to stop crying, but the daymare seemed worse. She would usually see a part of that night, not the whole thing.
“I'll handle him. Menji, take the girl with you. She won't get away this time,” the boss ordered, and then she heard gun shots.
And... I think this is the only FF I wrote where I didn't explain the character in the first chapter! xd And... I think I had a bit too much Dialogue... Advice/Comments/Criticism?? Fate or Hope
Chapter 1
“She broke down in Civics again!” a guy said.
“Really? What happened to her this time?” a girl asked.
The usual gossip. The same thing happened every week, but they never learned. She was tired of people talking about her. “Shut up! We go through this every week! Find something else to talk about!”
“She spoke! I thought Mavi only knew how to cry!” the guy laughed, along with the girl. They walked away laughing so loudly, she swore the kids on the other side of the building heard them.
She hated people like them. They would never understand her. She barely understood herself. She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't control it. At least the school day was over. She could hide from everyone for the rest of the day. There was no point being outside if people were just going to laugh at her. There was nothing funny about a girl crying. The world was messed up if someone crying was funny.
She ran out of the school building, ignoring all the people who laughed at her. She wanted to change the world, but it wasn't worth it yet. She would try to change the world when she wouldn't have to hide anymore. She had promises to fulfill, and she would keep her word.
As she walked home she saw something at the corner of her eye, and then she was knocked down on the ground. Her left wrist hurt a little bit, and her right ankle felt like a rock was inside it. Everything else appeared to be okay.
“Look who I found!” somebody exclaimed. Her heart felt like it stopped. It couldn't be.
“Oh? The brat from seven years ago? I thought she died. That explains a lot,” someone else said. Then she felt someone grab her injured wrist, and lifted her off the ground. The wrist must have been more injured than she thought. It felt like it was about to break off.
“What should we do, Boss? This girl caused us a lot of trouble,” the guy holding her asked.
She remembered those two. She met them when she was little, but it didn't end well. The boss had short black hair and blazing red eyes. She never looked at his outfit because it made her sick just to look at his face. She never got a good look at his lackey's face, but she remembered his voice.
“We could easily kill her, but there would be no fun in that. Torturing her would amuse us for a bit. The question is what should we do with her after wards? She won't keep her mouth shut. Do you have any ideas on what we should do with her?” the boss asked.
They were acting like she wouldn't do anything! She wasn't as weak as she was seven years ago. She was already in an awful mood, and she didn't want to deal with them.
“We can get rid of her for good after wards. We have to get out of here before people see us. The last thing we need is a witness,” his lackey said quickly.
“I'm not the same as I was even years ago! I'll fight-” was all she managed to say before the images invaded her mind. Not again! It just happened in Civics! The incident from seven years ago was haunting her!
She was running as fast as she could. She could hear the shouting behind them very clearly. It was hard not to hear, “Kill them! Hurry up and kill those brats!” She didn't want to die! She didn't do anything wrong! She was just a kid!
“Don't worry,Mavi. We won't die,” someone said softly from behind her.
His voice again. As long as he was with her she wouldn't give up. “Kenji-” she said before the sound of bullets. Then she saw him in front of her. The blood was blinding. It was in the air, and then it flooded the ground. “Kenji!”
“R-Run. I knew w-what would happen if I p-protected you. O-One of us has to live, M-Mavi...” he choked out.
“Kenji? No, you said we wouldn't die!” she cried. It was her fault he was hurt. She was the one who screamed. He couldn't die because of her!
“R-Run. They can't be t-that far behind. T-They will kill you if you stay,” he whispered. “I-If the world was different t-this would not have happened. G-Goodbye, Mavi...”
“Kenji? You're joking, right? You can't die, Kenji!” she cried as she hugged Kenji, and blocked out the world. Then she woke up in the hospital, and Kenji was gone.
That memory always caused her throat to burn. She tried to hold it back, but the burning in her throat got worse. It was getting harder to breath, and then a small squeak left her mouth. The burning was getting worse every second; she couldn't hold it any longer. The tears rolled down her face, and then she started to wail.
“Shut up, brat! We can't afford to get caught because of your crying! You're just asking for-” the boss said.
“How about you give up before you get arrested?” she barely heard.
Oh great. The last thing she wanted was for somebody else to see her crying. She hated her life. It was filled with nothing but misery.
“Why would we give up? You're a brat just like this girl,” the lackey asked.
“I took a picture, and I called the cops! I hate those who use force to get what they want!” the third guy shouted.
He called the cops? That should have gave her a reason to stop crying, but the daymare seemed worse. She would usually see a part of that night, not the whole thing.
“I'll handle him. Menji, take the girl with you. She won't get away this time,” the boss ordered, and then she heard gun shots.
