Riseofthephoenix
Member
I would love it if people could critic some parts of the story that I'm writing. I am preferably looking for people who enjoy reading 
This is a review of what it' about
In the story there is heaven, hell and Earth. Heaven and Hell are two civilisations which share the same plane (as in realm). Both hold grudges and both fight on a large stretch of land called the wild lands, they fight for control over the parts of the wild lands.
Hell is ruled by a ruler/king...whatever, when that ruler has two siblings born both will fight to determine who will be next ruler. Heaven was founded by the greater angels, who created the first angels. At their passing they left their trust to the angelic council, a group of angels who watch over heaven who make the decisions and who rules (heaven is ruled by the council).
If either angel or soldier from hell wishes to visit the other civilisation that person or platoon must carry a permit from the council or ruler so that they have their permission.
Now...The story is focused on three characters.
Matius is a person from hell, who is orphaned. In his life he finds that he is different from most people, he does go through alot of problems in his life. Later in the story he learns about earth and heaven and makes friends with people there. In the last parts of the story, Matius finally realises who he was meant to be.
The current ruler of hell is Sousan who is over middle aged, who has two sons. One who will one day become ruler.
Ivan is his first son, who is quite the troublemaker/explorer. Later on Ivan, goes through several changes becoming closer to Sousan.
Dervish is his other son, who is the more calm serious son. He however discovers something about himself which frightens Sousan and several others. As time passes Dervish becomes more reckless in his power.
If you are up for it let me know. I'll Rep ya
This is a review of what it' about
In the story there is heaven, hell and Earth. Heaven and Hell are two civilisations which share the same plane (as in realm). Both hold grudges and both fight on a large stretch of land called the wild lands, they fight for control over the parts of the wild lands.
Hell is ruled by a ruler/king...whatever, when that ruler has two siblings born both will fight to determine who will be next ruler. Heaven was founded by the greater angels, who created the first angels. At their passing they left their trust to the angelic council, a group of angels who watch over heaven who make the decisions and who rules (heaven is ruled by the council).
If either angel or soldier from hell wishes to visit the other civilisation that person or platoon must carry a permit from the council or ruler so that they have their permission.
Now...The story is focused on three characters.
Matius is a person from hell, who is orphaned. In his life he finds that he is different from most people, he does go through alot of problems in his life. Later in the story he learns about earth and heaven and makes friends with people there. In the last parts of the story, Matius finally realises who he was meant to be.
The current ruler of hell is Sousan who is over middle aged, who has two sons. One who will one day become ruler.
Ivan is his first son, who is quite the troublemaker/explorer. Later on Ivan, goes through several changes becoming closer to Sousan.
Dervish is his other son, who is the more calm serious son. He however discovers something about himself which frightens Sousan and several others. As time passes Dervish becomes more reckless in his power.
If you are up for it let me know. I'll Rep ya