Family drama. What would you do? What should I do?

[HENI]

I live in a family of four. Excluding the two pets. A dog and a guinea pig. My mother's husband is currently working on his visa so he isn't here with her.

Anyway, I feel like all of these family problems are stressing me out. My sister (who is 18) is always causing issues for my mother. My mother is very religious and always imposss religion on people. Especially on us. I'm atheist and I want to stay that way. My other sister is just annoying and won't listen. She's 10.

I am 24 and currently a community college student. Working on a banking certificate. I feel like I should move out one day and forge my own oath before this family stresses me out even more, psychologically scarring me.

I know I might sound weak for a man. Maybe I am weak. I just want an escape. As a child, I was very close to my mom and I would always protect her. But now I feel like that relationship of mother and son isn't there anymore. My mom still loves me, but I don't feel any love for her. I just see her as a burden. I feel like her love is very biased. She loves me more than she loves my sisters, just because I am the only son.

I believe I have a subconscious and conscious hatred for my family . Because I lost all of my childhood friends because of this family, moving to another state and all. Many of my wishes went unfulfilled. It has been 10 years since we moved and I still can't let go. My mother wants our family to stick together, all the time. She even recommends marriages for me. She even asked me if any of my friends wants a wife (from her country). She's controlling. We don't have any relatives in this state and I don't want to depend on any relatives or friends. I want to be on my own. What would you do? What could you do?

Should I join the military and get out of here? Would that be a smart decision? Or should I wait for my banking certificate and then get out of here once I have a job in the banking industry? This family has so much drama over the smallest things.

 

[Dreckerplayer]

I live in a family of four. Excluding the two pets. A dog and a guinea pig. My mother's husband is currently working on his visa so he isn't here with her.

Anyway, I feel like all of these family problems are stressing me out. My sister (who is 18) is always causing issues for my mother. My mother is very religious and always imposss religion on people. Especially on us. I'm atheist and I want to stay that way. My other sister is just annoying and won't listen. She's 10.

I am 24 and currently a community college student. Working on a banking certificate. I feel like I should move out one day and forge my own oath before this family stresses me out even more, psychologically scarring me.

I know I might sound weak for a man. Maybe I am weak. I just want an escape. As a child, I was very close to my mom and I would always protect her. But now I feel like that relationship of mother and son isn't there anymore. My mom still loves me, but I don't feel any love for her. I just see her as a burden. I feel like her love is very biased. She loves me more than she loves my sisters, just because I am the only son.

I believe I have a subconscious and conscious hatred for my family . Because I lost all of my childhood friends because of this family, moving to another state and all. Many of my wishes went unfulfilled. It has been 10 years since we moved and I still can't let go. My mother wants our family to stick together, all the time. She even recommends marriages for me. She even asked me if any of my friends wants a wife (from her country). She's controlling. We don't have any relatives in this state and I don't want to depend on any relatives or friends. I want to be on my own. What would you do? What could you do?

Should I join the military and get out of here? Would that be a smart decision? Or should I wait for my banking certificate and then get out of here once I have a job in the banking industry? This family has so much drama over the smallest things.

Attention seekers.Hyper controllers.

You're an adult, they impose.No respect for males or male authority. Stand your ground until you have what you need to finally leave.

It's a female domination agenda.

 

[HENI]

Attention seekers.Hyper controllers.

You're an adult, they impose.No respect for males or male authority. Stand your ground until you have what you need to finally leave.

It's a female domination agenda.

Really? Can you tell me more about the female domination agenda?

 

[Solarmoth]

I think joining the military in dreams of personal freedom would be debilitating in the end. Try to bear with it just a bit longer, brother.

 

[Dreckerplayer]

Really? Can you tell me more about the female domination agenda?

lmao...

 

[Queen of Bananas]

Everyone has issues with family. It is extremely difficult as an introvert to deal with other humans.

It's terrible; especially when you know you need to browse dank memes to feel better about yourself and your mental health issues; but your family judges it to be wrong and yells at you and tries to confine and control you and shit. You raised the kid wrong, it's your fault, now the kid has to deal with it. But they don't even let the kid deal with it; so they **** the kid up on top of doing a shit job.

Thing is, once a child has developed, the parents did their job, and they should have guided them into healthy coping mechanisms at the time when the child was developing. But once they let go of the kid, they let go. They can't confine and control anymore because it damages the individual not the child.

Having thickheaded dense indo-pakistani parents shows how they say they are "loving you" or "caring for you" but it's control and narcissism and it damages the person; sometimes scarring them for life.

You did your best raising the child. But now that they are an adult, your responsibility is over. Holding them back of confining or controlling is only to serve your own selfish agenda for self-preservation.

They don't actually love the kids, they see them as a means to ensure their own survival in old age. The worst is when parents justify having a say in their child's life using religion; "children must care for parents"

But that argument doesn't even make sense sometimes; sure they should take care of parents, but they should also live their own lives.

The worst is when my father tells me "You are mine, you belong to me."

And I'm just sitting there like, "I belong to Allah, back off"

No human is a possession of another. Indo-pakistani think- headed possessive fathers should understand this.






And then people say bullshit things like, "We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us."

Bullshit.

You can't make choices for yourself when you are dealing with an indo-pakistani family. I'd rather believe that wonderland is an actual place and the cheshire cat and mad hatter exist.





I have nothing to lose anymore.

I don't care. I'll speak whatever is left of my mind from the confinement of this prison.




I'll take back what I said about religion and Islam, because I met a guy who wanted to do medicine but was forced into engineering and it's hell on earth for him. It's not so much about religion but about how people use religion to attain their agenda.

 

[ProGun]

Learn acceptance. Your family isn't perfect, but you can love them regardless. Do not let them pull you into their power struggles with each other. In your new job you will encounter office drama and you may as well practice the skills you will need among your family.

In the work place there will be drama and office politics. Unlike your family, some of these folks won't even be remotely pleasant, so you had better practiced being civil with your family if your going to get along with others in the office. Do not let others control how you feel... deny them that power over you. Words are just that, let them fall flat and do not accept them. Fulfill your responsibilities at work (and in your current situation, at home) and don't dabble in gossip.

Be calm even in the face of an upset person. The more upset they get, try and project even more calm, and speak even quieter in small increments even if this means they shout over you. Believe it or not, to any outside observer, you are winning the argument if you are calm and logical while they throw a tantrum. It may seem difficult, and at first it is, but after your first success you will find being calm and logical is the best path. If you can be zen in the face of your family drama, you will be well prepared for your first office job as well.

 

[Dreckerplayer]

learn acceptance. Your family isn't perfect, but you can love them regardless. Do not let them pull you into their power struggles with each other. In your new job you will encounter office drama and you may as well practice the skills you will need among your family.

In the work place there will be drama and office politics. Unlike your family, some of these folks won't even be remotely pleasant, so you had better practiced being civil with your family if your going to get along with others in the office. Do not let others control how you feel... Deny them that power over you. Words are just that, let them fall flat and do not accept them. Fulfill your responsibilities at work (and in your current situation, at home) and don't dabble in gossip.

Be calm even in the face of an upset person. The more upset they get, try and project even more calm, and speak even quieter in small increments even if this means they shout over you. Believe it or not, to any outside observer, you are winning the argument if you are calm and logical while they throw a tantrum. It may seem difficult, and at first it is, but after your first success you will find being calm and logical is the best path. If you can be zen in the face of your family drama, you will be well prepared for your first office job as well.

delusional & distorted.

 

[lImmortal Regis]

Tell me about it....

 

[123fire]

The fk are u atheist for?

 

[HENI]

The fk are u atheist for?

I don't think God is real. But that's a different argument. Thanks guys for the support

 

[123fire]

I don't think God is real. But that's a different argument. Thanks guys for the support

Don't betray your mother she created you

 

[Dreckerplayer]

Don't betray your mother she created you

That type of mentality.

You don't owe anyone anything for CONCEPTION or giving birth to you. It's a simple issue of "cause & effect". You reap what you sow.

Crack heads can do it. Criminals can do it, and they do it all the time.Don't give someone credit for "giving birth to you"...that's absurd. You didn't ask for it, and wouldn't have made any difference if they had never done it in the first place.She wasn't doing him a favor when she had ***...

"she created you"...that's an incredibly worthless mommas boy way of thinking.You should stop.

And P.S

No one in their right mind would think God is real.

 

[salamander uchiha]

I live in a family of four. Excluding the two pets. A dog and a guinea pig. My mother's husband is currently working on his visa so he isn't here with her.

Anyway, I feel like all of these family problems are stressing me out. My sister (who is 18) is always causing issues for my mother. My mother is very religious and always imposss religion on people. Especially on us. I'm atheist and I want to stay that way. My other sister is just annoying and won't listen. She's 10.

I am 24 and currently a community college student. Working on a banking certificate. I feel like I should move out one day and forge my own oath before this family stresses me out even more, psychologically scarring me.

I know I might sound weak for a man. Maybe I am weak. I just want an escape. As a child, I was very close to my mom and I would always protect her. But now I feel like that relationship of mother and son isn't there anymore. My mom still loves me, but I don't feel any love for her. I just see her as a burden. I feel like her love is very biased. She loves me more than she loves my sisters, just because I am the only son.

I believe I have a subconscious and conscious hatred for my family . Because I lost all of my childhood friends because of this family, moving to another state and all. Many of my wishes went unfulfilled. It has been 10 years since we moved and I still can't let go. My mother wants our family to stick together, all the time. She even recommends marriages for me. She even asked me if any of my friends wants a wife (from her country). She's controlling. We don't have any relatives in this state and I don't want to depend on any relatives or friends. I want to be on my own. What would you do? What could you do?

Should I join the military and get out of here? Would that be a smart decision? Or should I wait for my banking certificate and then get out of here once I have a job in the banking industry? This family has so much drama over the smallest things.

Joining the military isn't the right answer you'll become more depressed and develop mental issues later on down the line. Your also running away from your problems instead of face them that doesn't solve them. It's similar to the Ostrich that buries it's head in the sand, the problem will still remain or get worse.

My advice is take a few days off reflect and then order thing on your priorities, then go by what is most important. Having issues with your family is one thing but abandoning your mother and family will have major repercussions and you'll regret them later on in life.

Ps. Most importantly find God (pure unadultered monotheism) again you'll find peace even in this chaotic world.

 

[HENI]

Joining the military isn't the right answer you'll become more depressed and develop mental issues later on down the line. Your also running away from your problems instead of face them that doesn't solve them. It's similar to the Ostrich that buries it's head in the sand, the problem will still remain or get worse.

My advice is take a few days off reflect and then order thing on your priorities, then go by what is most important. Having issues with your family is one thing but abandoning your mother and family will have major repercussions and you'll regret them later on in life.

Ps. Most importantly find God (pure unadultered monotheism) again you'll find peace even in this chaotic world.

Thanks. I will try my best to stay calm and face these problems until I have everything I need (financial stability and knowledge). How do I find this God?

 

[HENI]

That type of mentality.

You don't owe anyone anything for CONCEPTION or giving birth to you. It's a simple issue of "cause & effect". You reap what you sow.

Crack heads can do it. Criminals can do it, and they do it all the time.Don't give someone credit for "giving birth to you"...that's absurd. You didn't ask for it, and wouldn't have made any difference if they had never done it in the first place.She wasn't doing him a favor when she had ***...

"she created you"...that's an incredibly worthless mommas boy way of thinking.You should stop.

And P.S

No one in their right mind would think God is real.

I always thought I owe people because they did things for me even tho I didn't ask for it, like my mom raising me and my sister giving me $50 for my birthday and buying me Christmas presents

 

[Dreckerplayer]

I always thought I owe people because they did things for me even tho I didn't ask for it

You didn't feel like you deserved it.

,

like my mom raising me

Bro, she was SUPPOSE TO DO THAT. And it's concerning that you feel like she wasn't.There's "raising someone"...then there's "controlling" someone and using the child at their own dispense.

"provide" and be consistent with it, don't slack and don't interfere.

and my sister giving me $50 for my birthday and buying me Christmas presents

lmao, you sound like a kid. And awww, how considerate of her to give you 50$...I would've appreciated that,as a kid.The thought that counts. However, you give an adult more than 50$, anything less than 100 for christmas is pretty much an insult and a lack of respect. Instead of the gifts, I would've wanted the money in hand, so I could get it myself.Buying gifts for a grown up is kind of ...controlling, UNLESS it's something you really need.A gift that's just "considerate" of your issues, nothing more.

Know your worth, bro.

 

[Funky Tiger]

turn to communism, friend.