Everyone wants to be heard -- No one wants to listen

CurseSealofEarth

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This is not mine, it is an exerpt from columnist John Cheese's latest article. Read it all here:

There is one super harsh lesson that every person on the planet eventually has to face -- well, maybe not so much with celebrities -- and that is: No one gives a **** what you think. Now before you get all up in arms over that statement, understand that it doesn't mean your opinion isn't valid or correct. And it isn't all-inclusive. The people closest to you most likely do care and will go to great lengths to discuss important issues with you. If the word "cockmaster" is important enough to you to tattoo across your neck, I'm sure your mother would step in and show her concern. But when we're talking about something as huge as the Texas abortion law filibuster, the entire 'net erupts into nonstop debate, and most of those interactions are with total strangers.

Strangers who couldn't give less of a **** what you think.

So why take part in a debate at all? Well, the truth is, some people just need to vent. Some like the confrontation. Others treat it like a game, and they're trying to "win" the discussion. Others just like to troll. But most of them, in my experience, just want to be heard. They aren't there to learn anything. They aren't there to exchange ideas and find out why other people believe different things. They have built a pretty solid opinion on a subject, and they have a basic human need to express that.

The problem is that the ones who are actually looking for answers tend to be the quietest of the group. They read and digest safely from the shadows like a ... learn-ninja. If they have a question, it's asked, and then they tend to disappear from the discussion, lurking and absorbing information as it's made available. So what we end up seeing the most of are the loudest, most interactive extremes, shouting their points from the mountaintops, kicking off all who dare to claim their position.

Precious few of these people have any more knowledge on the subject than any other average person. But that doesn't matter to them, because the most important part of the discussion isn't the debate -- it's knowing that people are hearing their insight. They want to be viewed as unique and intelligent, which is why so many Twitter and Facebook posts on a touchy, hot subject start out with "What nobody understands is ..." Because that rush of "Holy shit, you're right -- I never thought of it that way" feels fantastic.

No, not every person in every debate is like this. But high profile cases like the ones mentioned above tend to draw them because everyone is talking about it. People whose only other debate experience is whether or not Han should have shot first are suddenly debating. Just because a large majority of them are only there to be heard doesn't mean you have to stay out of the discussion, but knowing this fact going in will save you a lot of headaches and your computer monitor a whole lot of knuckle dents.

"Honey, come in here and hold my laptop so I can spin-kick it in half."

Thought everyone might get a kick out of this.
 

Sir Blades

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Didn't read cause it was too long and i don't want to listen to what you have to say.
 

itachi4real

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Nah didn't read either...i dont know y everybody wants to make long ass threads today and i havent read none of them lol
 

6thpathsage

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Tl dr you proved your title very correct!
 

Forest

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Well, the truth is, some people just need to vent. Some like the confrontation. Others treat it like a game, and they're trying to "win" the discussion. Others just like to troll. But most of them, in my experience, just want to be heard. They aren't there to learn anything. They aren't there to exchange ideas and find out why other people believe different things. They have built a pretty solid opinion on a subject, and they have a basic human need to express that.

The problem is that the ones who are actually looking for answers tend to be the quietest of the group. They read and digest safely from the shadows like a ... learn-ninja. If they have a question, it's asked, and then they tend to disappear from the discussion, lurking and absorbing information as it's made available. So what we end up seeing the most of are the loudest, most interactive extremes, shouting their points from the mountaintops, kicking off all who dare to claim their position.

7 Billion people on earth, each with a Unique perspective and personality lol. You can't really make such a general statement about all of humanity. But I kind of get the gist of where you are going with this, I would say this trend or mind set is probably more common in forums, then in any old place you can find people. BEcause there are people who are open and willing to intently listen to different opinions, and there are plenty of those like what you stated.
 

Moe22

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Unfortunately NB is full of the loud mouths on mountain tops, we tend to to call them fanboys and other names. Trolls are trolls. And of course there are those quiet ones with brilliant questions here on NB, but the thing is, we don't know who they are.
Thanks for sharing =D
 

CurseSealofEarth

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Nah didn't read either...i dont know y everybody wants to make long ass threads today and i havent read none of them lol

Tl dr you proved your title very correct!
Eh, no loss to me, I didn't write it anyway. You should take the time to though, the rest of the threads are just anticipation for tommorow.
7 Billion people on earth, each with a Unique perspective and personality lol. You can't really make such a general statement about all of humanity. But I kind of get the gist of where you are going with this, I would say this trend or mind set is probably more common in forums, then in any old place you can find people. BEcause there are people who are open and willing to intently listen to different opinions, and there are plenty of those like what you stated.

Like I said above, I didn't write this, I just thought it was true.

The most common type of person to comment on a thread is the one who disagrees. The ones who actually may want to discuss get swept away by the arguments of two people who are bickering over something irrelevant to the main theme of the thread.
 

Disquiet

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From my experience and observations, it's definitely true. Though some people may see the whole 'They want to be heard' as kinda obvious. But yeah, the ones that have little or nothing to say (just view and leaves the thread) are the ones that are willing to learn. Those are the people I'm speaking to when I debate, because there's a good chance they may be less bias than the person (s) I'm actually debating with. I first took note of this when I was writing my ffs, I noticed that people who voted for it in the contests were people who didn't comment in the actual FF thread. In fact, they were people who I hardly see around the base. I spoke to them, and they gave me input and what not. I also know a few people on here that don't post but just read the debates. It's observable from the rep comments, a lot of them from members that didn't even post in the thread. So, I kinda approach debates like I do writing so to speak. I don't write to please the critics, but to touch the readers.


Having said that, I'm always willing to listen and learn. My view on it, nice thread.


EDIT- Eh not all the quiet ones are willing to listen and learn, some are that way because they feel they've learned all there is to know about the subject. Just putting that out there, since I kinda hinted the opposite.
 
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Troyg39

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I always thought that the quiet ones were the ones that ask the questions to get the knowledge on the subject, and then they become the loud ones once they formulate their opinion based on all of the answers they recieved
 

Moe22

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Hahaha no one gives a **** what you think is right, I'm the only one the OP didn't respond to XD
 

CurseSealofEarth

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Hahaha no one gives a **** what you think is right, I'm the only one the OP didn't respond to XD
Oh shit, I didn't did I?
Unfortunately NB is full of the loud mouths on mountain tops, we tend to to call them fanboys and other names. Trolls are trolls. And of course there are those quiet ones with brilliant questions here on NB, but the thing is, we don't know who they are.
Thanks for sharing =D

At least you caught the point of this thread. It was more of response to the people who like to talk about a lack of debate on the baseand the awful people that the Internet always creates.
 

Moe22

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Oh shit, I didn't did I?


At least you caught the point of this thread. It was more of response to the people who like to talk about a lack of debate on the baseand the awful people that the Internet always creates.

Hahaha, I was kidding, but thanks regardless!
 

YowYan

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I remember a.time.in which people asked questions in a neutral, respectfull manner. NB'ers elaborated on their posts and made sure their threads had debatable content. I understand what you're trying to bring over there.
 
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