I myself just want to ask curiously. Because recently i focused on miracles where people survived a suicide attempt and regretted it. I myself was suicidical and came twice close to it but fortunately my attempts were not dangerous plus i was out of my mind. I suffer from mental illness and i believe i was a danger to myself. I developed OCPD as well but after therapy i see that life is the most beautiful gift we ever had but i can't understand why i did this impulsive action of spraying an axe into my mouth and then instantly fear that i could die in 2015. But yeah i wanna have someone that can help me get over the past no matter how unaccpeting it is for me. I have a strong empathy for suicidical people as no one or i think most don't randomly choose to end their life but they struggle through emotional pain or mental illness. But i remember i was never the type to really bring myself in danger. I even feel fear when my mother opens a candle or holds a knife. So how could i bring myself in danger. Apparently the memory of that time is also clouded. I know i have to just move on like i always did since it is 4 years in the past but apparently just after 4 years my mind realizes what i really did that time. I just start to wake up today. I just remember during that time i was so scared after i sprayed and rushed from doctor to doctor to check myself and when i was save again, i decided to move on. Somehow i still got suicidical later but the second time i snapped was me actually trying to inhale smoke at school or strangle myself with my hands. I know all that matters now is that i am very healthy and alive and well but i still feel so bad that i could not really control myself these times. Can anyone relate with mental illness leading to bringing yourself in danger? I just refuse to believe i actually tried to kill myself. To me these actions were impulses.
[Discussion] Did anyone of you ever attempted suicide and survived it?
- Thread starter Izou Xaxa
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Punk Hazard
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Chikombo
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I'm gonna be honest, I went through some dark times when I was younger like a long time ago, I was heavily depressed, I was never insane or anything, I had good grades, was a nice person all of that but I was extremely depressed.
I thought seriously about doing it. I didn't want to tell anyone about it, it began sort of like a maybe, like maybe if it would look beatiful or something. But eventullat I got serious about it, but things changed, people didn't really stop me, they didn't even know about it but they changed something that made me think differently, it was never like I got better, but life got really weird after that, like I pushed through some very strange times.
Years later I did actually go insane, and I was a horrible person that I'm sure people would never miss, maybe even be glad if I was gone. And I thought about it back and forth but it was never really serious, like it was half serious, but I think as of now, if I ended up in a situation where I could see no future, I wouldn't be insane or depressed or anything but like maybe if I end up in a tough situation desth seems like a pretty option, but I don't think I would have the courage to do it tbh. And obviously it's not the right way I know that, it would just be sad if like I end up in a future without a job and without anyone that could help me and I would lose my apartment and my book collection. It would be so sad if I ended up old and living with some parent who could barely support me. Even if I would be happy and they would be understanding the sadness and shame would just be so overwhelming.
But death is not the answer, and I'm never going to actually kill myself, and I really don't want other people to do it either. Think of all the close people to you that would miss you.
edit:
considering I have thought about really being in a tough spot in the future, I have also thought about if that does not happen that it's not just luck that destiny has something to do with it tbh appropo miracles.
Like a long time in the future if I am actually alive and well then maybe I will consider believing in some sort of higher power or something as a dumb explanation.
I thought seriously about doing it. I didn't want to tell anyone about it, it began sort of like a maybe, like maybe if it would look beatiful or something. But eventullat I got serious about it, but things changed, people didn't really stop me, they didn't even know about it but they changed something that made me think differently, it was never like I got better, but life got really weird after that, like I pushed through some very strange times.
Years later I did actually go insane, and I was a horrible person that I'm sure people would never miss, maybe even be glad if I was gone. And I thought about it back and forth but it was never really serious, like it was half serious, but I think as of now, if I ended up in a situation where I could see no future, I wouldn't be insane or depressed or anything but like maybe if I end up in a tough situation desth seems like a pretty option, but I don't think I would have the courage to do it tbh. And obviously it's not the right way I know that, it would just be sad if like I end up in a future without a job and without anyone that could help me and I would lose my apartment and my book collection. It would be so sad if I ended up old and living with some parent who could barely support me. Even if I would be happy and they would be understanding the sadness and shame would just be so overwhelming.
But death is not the answer, and I'm never going to actually kill myself, and I really don't want other people to do it either. Think of all the close people to you that would miss you.
edit:
considering I have thought about really being in a tough spot in the future, I have also thought about if that does not happen that it's not just luck that destiny has something to do with it tbh appropo miracles.
Like a long time in the future if I am actually alive and well then maybe I will consider believing in some sort of higher power or something as a dumb explanation.
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Callypigia
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He means that if people actually attempted suicide and succeeded they would be unable to reply to this post. He was joking on the way the title was written.
Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem in most cases. Most of the time it is an act of desperation brought out during an emotionally volatile state. To make matters worse alcohol is often involved, which increases impulsivity. There are times though when I've run into people in my practice that had logically come to the conclusion. A marine with substantial trauma that I treated said, "you either need to figure out how to move on or take your life." If you break down meaning and purpose from an evolutionary perspective that makes sense. There are scenarios that with the right losses you lose the ability to effectively benefit your gene pool, or humanity as a whole. Your existence becomes purposeless, and you become a hollow husk. Those examples are few and far between, but they exist. While most people who complete suicide aren't the ones who broadcast their despair, all suicidal gestures and thoughts should be taken serious. If extreme emotions persist long enough, extreme behaviors can manifest.
Yeah i agree and i do not understand it now. But i have to be honest for some reason when i was 17 and 18, i somehow had suicidical tendencies but it was more like me trying to cause my death natural in a way ((which still is suicide)) but i do not remember. So i never ever would even think i would jump from a house, cut myself or anything. Now i remember i did drink massive amounts of coffee and sprayed some axe spray into my mouth but i remember when i sprayed into my mouth, i immediately regrtted it and was fearful of my life and like a paranoid man checked each doctor. It turned out it was not dangerous. The suicidical mind where you picture yourself dying all the time is actually just a despair where someone sees no other way out. But a suicidical person does not really want to die. They just try to escape their pain. But again i try to remember. Why did i do these impulsive actions? I even remember i prayed that i would get a burnout and just fall asleep but now i feel so ashamed and bad. Too be honest these past actions do not feel like they were my own. I am 22 now and my mind grew. Apparently i realize how ridiculous and yet dangerous my actions were. I kinda lost the touch of reality.
Sagebee
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Don't think anyone would share closest I got to this issue a friend telling me he wanted to go through with it but after talking it through he knew he didn't want to do it just needed someone to talk to. I actually haven't been contact with him in years due to being busy with school at the time hope hes okay.
Well i recently try to make sense of it. Why do people do it? I remember reaching a point where i was close but it was probably my OCPD. I don't know why i did spray this axe for a moment into my mouth. I just ask the "why"? I don't remember ever being suicidical yet i know i was. It is weird. But i feel that they do not want to die but react impulsively to their pain.
Chikombo
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This is funny, the joke is life is so bad they don't care if it goes away but then they want to see the latest star wars instead.
HowDidIGetPrem
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I've never really attempted suicide, but I can relate to a lesser extent because a lot of my actions are very impulsive as well. Not in the literal sense that they just happen, but in the sense that I consciously consider the consequences that'll tag along yet just let those actions happen. It's pretty common for me to take risks like crossing under trains or across busy highways without glasses in spite of my terrible vision(I can't ascertain the distance or speed of cars). The impulsiveness is to the point that I avoid getting close to bodies of water because I fear that I may go along with some dangerous, random thought like wondering what's under the water.
I definitely don't want to die and I'm not really suicidal. Even more, I'm interested in living a very long life, yet that still fails to curb my disregard of hazards. It doesn't make me feel conflicted with how much I value my life though. The disregard extends past danger and into possibilities of embarrassment or being misunderstand and whatnot. It's very general, so I can't credit those situations specifically to me not caring for my life. Maybe you just wanted to see how your actions would feel.
I definitely don't want to die and I'm not really suicidal. Even more, I'm interested in living a very long life, yet that still fails to curb my disregard of hazards. It doesn't make me feel conflicted with how much I value my life though. The disregard extends past danger and into possibilities of embarrassment or being misunderstand and whatnot. It's very general, so I can't credit those situations specifically to me not caring for my life. Maybe you just wanted to see how your actions would feel.
nickname1224
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Once upon a time, I was about to commit suicide, but that day I was so disappointed in myself that I did not get any further. But I can say with certainty that Animes has contributed a great deal to my decision to live on that day.