copy ninja of konoha part 3

naruto kyuubi

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Copy ninja of konoha part 3
Saban looked at his blade in disbelief as his blade was cracked in middle,
Saban: there was only one shinobi who had enough strength to do this kind of damage to my blade but he is dead long ago but wait you do remind me of him the white hair are u really him, the white fang of konoha.
Asuma: impossible u can’t be that old
In a second Asuma was sent crashing back by a kick in his stomach, still it looked like Saban hasn’t moved a muscle at all.
Etsui: what was that? How the hell he hit Asuma in such a short time.
Kakashi: (in the mind thinking) so this guy has fought my dad, I wonder if this is a test for me to see if I can step in his shoes. But I got to admit his speed has even surprised me if I didn’t have the sharingan I might have never been able to track his movements.
Saban: spitting this is where u belong dogs nothing can stop me now, I will crush my village first then konoha. Only then my revenge will be complete
Kakashi: that’s never going to happen, at least till the last of us survives.
Asuma was getting up from the ground spit the blood of his mouth. He looked murderous there was a rage of such intensity that others looked alarmed save Saban, who standing a bit far cracked his knuckles his eyes gleamed in the possibility of the fight.
Saban: now it’s getting interesting. Bring it on, kid I will crush you just like I crushed them, no one can defeat me.
Asuma: we will see that for ourselves.
He dashed forward his chakra blades gleaming with wind chakra. Saban also dashed forward his sword gleaming with water chakra. Their blades connected for a moment they were evenly matched it was like the clash of the cyclone and tsunami but then the colour in Saban’s blade changed its chakra grew more fierce it was now a deeper shade of blue, Asuma was forced back by the enormous power of Saban’s chakra,
Asuma: it can’t be this much power,
Etsui: I must help Asuma,”shadow manipulation jutsu.”
A thin strand of shadow moved behind Saban suddenly his stroke astray, giving Asuma the chance to get back to safety.
Etsui: now “shadow strangulation jutsu”
The strings multiplied and were about to decapitate Saban but suddenly the hold was negated and Etsui was thrown back.
Saban: that tickled now face real power, “water style: tsunami slash”
Great waves of aquatic chakra raged towards Etsui but suddenly
Kakashi:”water style: tsunami waves”
Another wave of water crashed against the oncoming waves stopping them in the midway, Kakashi moved to the front while the water fell like rains around them,
Kakashi: Etsui, Asuma get back and take Rin and others with you I will deal with this guy.
Asuma: don’t be a fool Kakashi, we are a team and we will deal with him together. You don’t have anything to prove, we don’t care if you are stronger or not than your father.
Saban: ( thinking) so this guy is the son of white fang. I sure admired his dad.
Kakashi: (in a cold voice) Asuma I am not trying to prove anything you have seen what this guy can do. I am the only one among us who has a chance of defeating this guy. Now go “fire style: great fireball jutsu”
A great ball of fire went towards Saban who retaliated by huge ball of water the two jutsu clashed with each other creating a lot of smoke as the smoke cleared Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Saban looked amazed but suddenly “raikiri” Kakashi lunged at Saban from the back side.
Saban: what the hell where did he come from, “wind style: wind shield”
A dome of wind formed around him preventing the majority of the damage but still as the raikiri touched him he bent double in pain.
Saban: it had been a long time since someone had actually did some damage to me, that is a pretty strong jutsu you have there son of white fang, but now it’s my turn “wind style: killer slashes”
Waves of wind chakra charged at Kakashi though he dodged most of them one of the slashes hit him in the leg.
Kakashi: damn I didn’t notice it.
He placed his two hands on the ground “earth style: seismic waves’ the earth under Saban’s feet shook violently he jumped back a few feet.
Saban: stop fooling around lets end it. Meet my tempest element. ”tempest style: hurricane of death” making fast signs
(Dark grey chakra started swirling around Kakashi), now you die.
Kakashi felt suffocated as the pressure increased he bent down
Kakashi: ( thinking) I have to do this there is no other way, “lightning style: thunder explosion”
Lightning chakra exploded out of the chakra dome surrounding him, negating the dome
Kakashi was panting badly as was Saban.
Saban: Impossible no one even the third raikage himself couldn’t break free of this dome.
Kakashi: enough talk,”raikiri”
Blue lightning chakra engulfed his hand he charged at Saban, Saban also made some hand signs “tempest style: blade of death” dark grey chakra surrounded his sword. As the two jutsu clashed creating huge crater in between Kakashi was panting heavily he could barely stand he was weakened on the other hand Saban was staggering as well. The broken sword was in the middle of the of crater
Saban: impossible seems like I have to use my new style of jutsu on you. Do you know every element has a dark side of their powers, just like black lightning or black flames, your first hokage found a way to use those kinds of powers; it’s brutal but terribly effective.
He wiped the blood from his shoulder which was torn open by the impact of the collision, and painted a sealing symbol around him in the ground then bellowed “dark chakra style: gates of underworld open” a dark energy issued out of the sealing engulfing him Kakashi watched stunned.
Saban: its complete I can feel it “black water style: black dragon strike jutsu”
The water of the lake turned black and a huge dragon came charging at Kakashi
Kakashi: “water style: water dragon jutsu”
a water dragon went charging at the first dragon they collided and Kakashi watched in horror as his dragon disappeared he noticed a strange thing his sharingan was acting strangely it was seeming more powerful he could sense a new chakra in the attack.
Kakashi: so this is the end for me but refuse to go down, it’s time to use the new jutsu I perfected. (Clapping his hands) ”lightning style: wolf pack”
Eight wolves made of lightning chakra issued out of the hand and lunged at the dragon. Which blasted in the midair, and the wolves charged at Saban who couldn’t counter and felt agonizing pain as the current ran through him Kakashi saw in horror as the eyes of his opponent turned in to black slits. He hissed “good one but let’s see how u handle this one” there was a sudden rise in pressure the very wind seemed corrupt as Kakashi felt his strength leaving him.
Kakashi: what the hell is this?
A hissing voice replied,” foolish man he thought he could control the black elements. Only the chosen warriors can do that,”
WHAT IS THIS HISSING VOICE WHO IS THIS NEW ENEMY KAKASHI MUST FACE ,
In the next chapter the secrets of black elements.
chapter 1
chapter 2
 
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Reborn

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I liked if overall the only thing I would say that I didn't like so much was the character Saban's use of multiple nature chakra and the battle scene here. This is just me and it's a persanal thing with the elemental techniques. I feel shinobi should have signitures that are oustside the five natural elements, with the exception of the basic elements fitting into it, meaning, Kakashi for example is the copy ninja, infering that he copies techniques from other shinobi. He's been around the block a while and he's fought countless shinobi average and strong and every shinobi seems to have some sort of nature jutsu. His copying of other's jutsu is his fighting style so he has a variety of nature techniques to counter with. Not to mention he's a genius and is strong in taijutsu and genjutsu as well but his main focus is all the techniques (mainly nature related that he's coppied) and that fits him. With other characters, like Orochimaru for instence. He has wind and earth elements but he primarily uses snake based ninjutsu. Naruto has wind release but he only uses it to power up his main jutsu, which is the rasengan, he doesn't have an arsinal of wind release techniques like Danzo had. Naruto's known for his Shadow clones and his additions made to his rasengan (which includes the wind release). I don't know if you get what I'm saying, but I think that Saban's signiture should focus around something else (as I'm sure it may be when we look at your later chapters) but I don't think he should have that wide variety of nature jutsu (unless it's kekkei genkai and unique to him or few characters) just some basics. You stated that Saban fought against the White Fang, so I was thinking, against a powerful shinobi of that calibur Saban would use a signiture fighting style, as I was hoping to see with Kakashi. Also with the battle it seemed kind of back and forth with the jutsu, meaning Kakashi did this jutsu and Saban did that jutsu. I think you should've elaborated more on how each shinobi defended/evade or used the element of surprise to make it seem like they were hit but they weren't or something like that but that's just me. Overall you did pretty well on this and I like it I give it about...7.5/10. Also thx again for the help on my FF.
 

naruto kyuubi

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well here is a spoiler for you saban is still playing with them the sword style he used against asuma is his sig.i will introduce the battle between white fang and saban later on there more about saban's style will be introduced saban has mastery over wind and water combinig them to form his sig kkg tempest element the grey chakra
 

Reborn

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well here is a spoiler for you saban is still playing with them the sword style he used against asuma is his sig.i will introduce the battle between white fang and saban later on there more about saban's style will be introduced saban has mastery over wind and water combinig them to form his sig kkg tempest element the grey chakra
Oh so it was a kekkei genkai. When I saw that I was like ???. I get it now so those are just the two elements that make up his KG and he's only using those because he's mastered how to use his KG (Meaning he's mastered the individual elements that make it up) and he's a kenjutsu fighter, so he's relitivly close ranged (what I mean is he's best up close) in his fighting. I get it now. It wasn't a bad chapter, I like the little suspence about the hissing thing going on.
 

naruto kyuubi

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yes he didnt feel it was necesarry to use the tempest elemnt all the time,as he defeated asuma with his water chakra but the clash against raikiri shook him as it broke his blade here i am trying to shw that kakashi is strong as his father
 

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yes he didnt feel it was necesarry to use the tempest elemnt all the time,as he defeated asuma with his water chakra but the clash against raikiri shook him as it broke his blade here i am trying to shw that kakashi is strong as his father
Off topic but why hasn't fang been summoned by Kabuto. I know hella people want to see him fight, and I know Kakashi will for def go on his rampage if that happens (either that or start crying and we see a soft and touchy Kakashi that we haven seen before...I'm hopin fo a little of both really), on topic (sorta) it might be too late but I meant to tell you about the FF contest for August. You should enter your FF in there but last time I looked there was already eight people so idk if you'll get in or not.
 

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I only just saw this, I thought it was good.
Er, it's not important...but I was just surprised that Asuma was so angry while getting up, I mean, I know he just got punched down, but I thought he would've been more shocked than angry. I don't think I've seen him angry before...
I really liked how in the beginning the two water waves hit each other, and you described that rain was falling around them, I imagined it really cool/'epic'...
One thing that surprised me was that, after Kakashi's fireball jutsu, you described that Saban was "amazed" / like, he saw that Kakashi was gone...I would've expected him to look around with concern, instead of amazement... er, that's just me. >__> "
Lastly, what I liked the best, was the dark versions of the usual elements.
- Very interesting! -
 

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Copy Ninja of Konoha ~3
Saban looked at his blade in disbelief as his blade was cracked in middle,

Saban :- there was only one shinobi who had enough strength to do this kind of damage to my blade but he is dead long ago but wait you do remind me of him the white hair are u really him, the white fang of konoha.

Asuma :- impossible u can’t be that old.

In a second Asuma was sent crashing back by a kick in his stomach, still it looked like Saban hasn’t moved a muscle at all.

Etsui :- what was that? How the hell he hit Asuma in such a short time.

Kakashi :- (in the mind thinking) so this guy has fought my dad, I wonder if this is a test for me to see if I can step in his shoes. But I got to admit his speed has even surprised me if I didn’t have the sharingan I might have never been able to track his movements.

Saban :- spitting this is where u belong dogs nothing can stop me now, I will crush my village first then konoha. Only then my revenge will be complete

Kakashi :-that’s never going to happen, at least till the last of us survives.

Asuma was getting up from the ground spit the blood of his mouth. He looked murderous there was a rage of such intensity that others looked alarmed save Saban, who standing a bit far cracked his knuckles his eyes gleamed in the possibility of the fight.

Saban :-now it’s getting interesting. Bring it on, kid I will crush you just like I crushed them, no one can defeat me.

Asuma :- we will see that for ourselves.

He dashed forward his chakra blades gleaming with wind chakra. Saban also dashed forward his sword gleaming with water chakra. Their blades connected for a moment they were evenly matched it was like the clash of the cyclone and tsunami but then the colour in Saban’s blade changed its chakra grew more fierce it was now a deeper shade of blue, Asuma was forced back by the enormous power of Saban’s chakra,

Asuma :- it can’t be this much power,

Etsui :- I must help Asuma,”shadow manipulation jutsu.”

A thin strand of shadow moved behind Saban suddenly his stroke astray, giving Asuma the chance to get back to safety.

Etsui :- now “shadow strangulation jutsu”

The strings multiplied and were about to decapitate Saban but suddenly the hold was negated and Etsui was thrown back.

Saban :-that tickled now face real power, “water style: tsunami slash”

Great waves of aquatic chakra raged towards Etsui but suddenly

Kakashi :-”water style: tsunami waves”

Another wave of water crashed against the oncoming waves stopping them in the midway, Kakashi moved to the front while the water fell like rains around them,

Kakashi :-Etsui, Asuma get back and take Rin and others with you I will deal with this guy.

Asuma :- don’t be a fool Kakashi, we are a team and we will deal with him together. You don’t have anything to prove, we don’t care if you are stronger or not than your father.

Saban :- ( thinking) so this guy is the son of white fang. I sure admired his dad.

Kakashi :-(in a cold voice) Asuma I am not trying to prove anything you have seen what this guy can do. I am the only one among us who has a chance of defeating this guy. Now go “fire style: great fireball jutsu”

A great ball of fire went towards Saban who retaliated by huge ball of water the two jutsu clashed with each other creating a lot of smoke as the smoke cleared Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Saban looked amazed but suddenly “raikiri” Kakashi lunged at Saban from the back side.

Saban :- what the hell where did he come from, “wind style: wind shield”

A dome of wind formed around him preventing the majority of the damage but still as the raikiri touched him he bent double in pain.

Saban :- it had been a long time since someone had actually did some damage to me, that is a pretty strong jutsu you have there son of white fang, but now it’s my turn “wind style: killer slashes”

Waves of wind chakra charged at Kakashi though he dodged most of them one of the slashes hit him in the leg.

Kakashi :- damn I didn’t notice it.

He placed his two hands on the ground “earth style: seismic waves’ the earth under Saban’s feet shook violently he jumped back a few feet.

Saban :- stop fooling around lets end it. Meet my tempest element.
”tempest style:hurricane of death” making fast signs
(Dark grey chakra started swirling around Kakashi), now you die.

Kakashi felt suffocated as the pressure increased he bent down

Kakashi :-( thinking) I have to do this there is no other way, “lightning style: thunder explosion”

Lightning chakra exploded out of the chakra dome surrounding him, negating the dome

Kakashi was panting badly as was Saban.

Saban :- Impossible no one even the third raikage himself couldn’t break free of this dome.

Kakashi :-enough talk,”raikiri”

Blue lightning chakra engulfed his hand he charged at Saban, Saban also made some hand signs “tempest style: blade of death” dark grey chakra surrounded his sword. As the two jutsu clashed creating huge crater in between Kakashi was panting heavily he could barely stand he was weakened on the other hand Saban was staggering as well. The broken sword was in the middle of the of crater

Saban :- impossible seems like I have to use my new style of jutsu on you. Do you know every element has a dark side of their powers, just like black lightning or black flames, your first hokage found a way to use those kinds of powers; it’s brutal but terribly effective.

He wiped the blood from his shoulder which was torn open by the impact of the collision, and painted a sealing symbol around him in the ground then bellowed “dark chakra style: gates of underworld open” a dark energy issued out of the sealing engulfing him Kakashi watched stunned.

Saban :- its complete I can feel it “black water style: black dragon strike jutsu”

The water of the lake turned black and a huge dragon came charging at Kakashi

Kakashi :-“water style: water dragon jutsu”

a water dragon went charging at the first dragon they collided and Kakashi watched in horror as his dragon disappeared he noticed a strange thing his sharingan was acting strangely it was seeming more powerful he could sense a new chakra in the attack.

Kakashi :-so this is the end for me but refuse to go down, it’s time to use the new jutsu I perfected. (Clapping his hands) ”lightning style: wolf pack”

Eight wolves made of lightning chakra issued out of the hand and lunged at the dragon. Which blasted in the midair, and the wolves charged at Saban who couldn’t counter and felt agonizing pain as the current ran through him Kakashi saw in horror as the eyes of his opponent turned in to black slits. He hissed “good one but let’s see how u handle this one” there was a sudden rise in pressure the very wind seemed corrupt as Kakashi felt his strength leaving him.

Kakashi :- what the hell is this?

A hissing voice replied,” foolish man he thought he could control the black elements. Only the chosen warriors can do that,”

WHAT IS THIS HISSING VOICE WHO IS THIS NEW ENEMY KAKASHI MUST FACE ,
In the next chapter The Secrets of Black Elements.
chapter 1
chapter 2 [/QUOTE]
 
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