Chuck Norris quotes

[~Yubel~]

Post the very best Chuck Norris jokes here.

Do you know how many push-ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them
When Chuck Norris does push-ups he don´t push-up, he push the earth downxd

 

[Better]

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter

 

[Crocodile]

I find your sig offensive.Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

 

[~Yubel~]

I find your sig offensive.Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Your problem not mine. True that!

 

[Hunsdale]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

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When Chuck Norris puts milk on Rice Krispies they keep quiet.

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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

 

[~Yubel~]

Chuck Norris doesn´t cut his grass, he just dares them to grow.xd

 

[Hunsdale]

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.