This chapter is a little shorter just to build suspense. Hope you enjoy it
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Chapter 3: Registration!
“W-who are you?! S-state your name and business.” Someone said in a shy and shaken voice. Zane opened his ink black eyes, the sun temporarily blinding him. He covered his hand over his forehead so he could see and in front of him was a boy at least a year or two older than him, he had black gloves with the figure tips cut out gripping a long, silver, sword pointed directly at his chest.
“Wow, dude take it easy!” Zane yelled in a shaken voice. Zane jumped back, somersaulted and landed on the burgundy roof tiles feet first. The boy in front of him had smooth yet spiky brown hair, dirt brown eyes, and creamy smooth white skin.
Zane last remembered that he fell asleep on the roof and wasn’t sure how he was spotted. “Hey, let’s not be so hasty. I came here because I wanted to register for Crow Academy; I’m Zane by the way.” He explained as he noticed the regret reflecting in the boys eyes clouded with a little fear as well.
“Oh, please forgive me, I thought you were a Benju or a scout, I’m Guss, class rank Hiashi.” The boy apologized.
Guss slid his long silver blade back into its white scabbard with a golden dragon around it as a design. “Thank you Retilion,” He whispered. “Now, float into the gentle skies.” Suddenly his sword which had nearly pierced through Zane’s chest, turned into cold blue gusts of wind, Zane couldn’t believe his eyes as the wind scattered everywhere.
“Wow, so um, do you think you can take me to the place where I can register?” He asked. Guss nodded took a step back he was literally on the edge, his unbuttoned white collar shirt flowed with the breeze, his white T-shirt stuck to his chest, he had black pants, black gloves with the figures cut out, creamy smooth white skin, and white sneakers. Man did this guy like white.
“Of course, follow me it’s this way.” He said as he flipped off the roof and landed; sprinting forward with an incredible amount of speed that even Maximus would have a hard time trying to catch him.
“Hey wait up!” Zane yelled as he sprinted off the roof top and towards the path Guss was rushing towards. The wind was loud against his ears and the Campus seemed to get even more beautiful and bigger as he passed. The shy boy turned around a corner and Zane leaped to the side of the building and stood gasping for air.
“Man you really can run.” Zane said.
“Thanks,” Guss replied. “You will meet Mr. Yodahama inside just tell him you would like to register and follow him, I’ll see you later, maybe.” Zane smiled but as the last word passed out of Guss’s mouth the smile almost faded away, was it a maybe as in Mr. Yodahama wouldn’t let him register or a maybe as in he might not make it out alive. Then he thought about what Alyssa said last night.
“Sleep well Zane, you’re going to need all the strength you can use.” Her words still echoed in his mind. They knew something, something that he didn’t and it scared him a little.
“Thanks I’ll see you around, maybe.” Zane replied. He walked up and opened the dark brown door; he was welcomed to a fuzzy purple carpet, a purple drape over the clear window, a brown bookshelf full of golden awards and well…. Books, a brown desk and a poster with several students on it. Zane stepped inside and took a deep breath.
“Well, what do I owe this occasion?” Someone asked. Zane turned around and saw a man with a black fedora, short gray hair, intense black eyes, a light blue dress shirt, a dark blue dress vest, dark blue tux pants, and black dress shoes.
“Yikes!” Zane yelled in surprise. He jumped back scared almost half to death.
“Sorry, I always forget to give a sign that I’m in the room.” Mr. Yodahama said.
“Anyway, hi I’m Zane, where do I register for Crow Academy? I really want to learn to control my powers.” Zane asked. The man smiled and pulled out a white piece of paper and put on a brown clip board that looked like it fought many battles itself. Mr. Yodahama handed him the clip board and offered a smile.
“First fill out this sheet and then your judgment and if you pass you will start your classes tomorrow.” He replied in a soft tone, gesturing Zane to sit in his chair.
“Wait a second what do you mean judgment?” Zane asked. Mr. Yodahama smiled and walked out of the fuzzy purple carpeted room. Zane sighed and rubbed his hand through his ink black hair, walking over to the desk he sat down and read the forum.
“Let’s see,’ first name’, of course Zane, ‘last name’, Kiashimati,’ Age’ thirteen. ‘Power’, I guess that would be fire, ‘Name one reason why I want to join Crow Academy’. Hmm How about to control my powers, Name your strengths, I can withstand long amounts of pain. No how about I’m strong and fast. Name your weaknesses; well it’s hard for me to focus sometimes.” Zane thought. He wrote down everything as quick as he could, stood up and walked out of the fuzzy purple carpeted room.
“Mr. Yodahama!” He called, “I’m done with the forum of registration.” Mr. Yodahama walked up the hall with a smile on his face.
“That is great, let’s take a look.” The black fedora wearing man said receiving the brown clip board and reading the forum. After a minute or so, which felt like an eternity, the black fedora wearing man put down the clip board and offered another smile.
“Well,” He said, “It has been a while since we have had a fire user, follow me and we will begin your judgment and if you pass you can start your classes tomorrow. “
There it was again if not when, a chill went up Zane’s spine as they walked down the brown hallway with posters of students and their swords. “Um… Mr. Y-Yodahama can you tell me a little more about this whole judgment thing?” Zane asked. Mr. Yodahama turned his head from Zane and walked inside of what looked to be a gym before he could hear a word he said. Zane frowned and walked through the green, heavy doors.
It was pitch dark; Zane moved his hands around him as he walked resembling a blind man with a cane. Suddenly he walked into something, a brick wall of flesh, hot breath that smelled like mint brushed against his face. Zane opened his eyes and they widen in surprise as they saw a familiar face. The smooth blond hair, those dark sky blue eyes, the pale but muscular features. “No! It can’t be you, I-I ran away, you would never come this far from your home!” Zane yelled in fear.
The shadowy figure walked into the light. “Nice to see you Zane, long time no see after you ran away.” He said.
A lump lodged in Zane’s throat, sweat dripped from his chin. Maximus, the reason why Zane was here, the man that caused him so much pain. “M-M-Maximus what are you doing here?” Zane asked in fright.
“Well after you ran away, I decided to look for you. You couldn’t have gone far and that is when I spotted you, but you weren’t alone a girl was with you.” Maximus said.
“Alyssa.” He thought.
“It’s simple really, I am you judgment, your greatest fear. I’m flattered really, but I’m going to kill you nice and slow, since I no longer have a need for you.” Maximus said.
“Yeah I’d like to see you try, I’m not the same kid who was scared to say what I thought, and now I’m going to knock you into the next century!” Zane yelled.
An evil smile showed on Maximus’s pale un-trustable face. “You have awoken your power, but you’re still blind, this my friend is what makes you the horse and me the king.” Maximus said in a ruff tone of voice.
What did he mean by Zane was a horse and he was blind. Last time Zane checked he could see clearly, and he walked on two legs not four. The hairs on Zane’s neck began to bristle. “You should have run the second you had the chance.” Maximus whispered.
Zane ran, sprinting faster than a cheetah on the hunt. His heart thumped roughly in his ears and against his chest like a drum. Suddenly out of the blue Maximus appeared right in front of him making a poof sound. He grabbed Zane by the throat, and the boy kicked and struggled rebelling against the man “This Zane is what I was talking about, the king and the horse are both the same, but the king is the one with instinct and you lack that instinct.” Maximus taunted.
“Yeah Maximus I’m the horse, and every night I go over the mountain to meet my friend the Unicorn,” Zane said in sarcasm. “Cut the crap Maximus you made that up while you where overdosed on a bottle of Saki.” The young spirited young boy protested as he head butted Maximus in his paled pointy nose.
The psychotic man let go of Zane and stumbled back holding his bleeding nose. Zane stood up and smiled viewing the sight of Maximus’s bleeding nose.
“You worthless excuse for a heat lamp I am going to kill you!” He yelled in anger still holding his nose.
“All that big talk with a broken nose, maybe I’ll put a dent in that face of yours for the pain that you caused me!” Zane yelled back.
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Tell me how it is, I really, really want to know the readers thoughts and how they think I can make it better
Chapter 3: Registration!
“W-who are you?! S-state your name and business.” Someone said in a shy and shaken voice. Zane opened his ink black eyes, the sun temporarily blinding him. He covered his hand over his forehead so he could see and in front of him was a boy at least a year or two older than him, he had black gloves with the figure tips cut out gripping a long, silver, sword pointed directly at his chest.
“Wow, dude take it easy!” Zane yelled in a shaken voice. Zane jumped back, somersaulted and landed on the burgundy roof tiles feet first. The boy in front of him had smooth yet spiky brown hair, dirt brown eyes, and creamy smooth white skin.
Zane last remembered that he fell asleep on the roof and wasn’t sure how he was spotted. “Hey, let’s not be so hasty. I came here because I wanted to register for Crow Academy; I’m Zane by the way.” He explained as he noticed the regret reflecting in the boys eyes clouded with a little fear as well.
“Oh, please forgive me, I thought you were a Benju or a scout, I’m Guss, class rank Hiashi.” The boy apologized.
Guss slid his long silver blade back into its white scabbard with a golden dragon around it as a design. “Thank you Retilion,” He whispered. “Now, float into the gentle skies.” Suddenly his sword which had nearly pierced through Zane’s chest, turned into cold blue gusts of wind, Zane couldn’t believe his eyes as the wind scattered everywhere.
“Wow, so um, do you think you can take me to the place where I can register?” He asked. Guss nodded took a step back he was literally on the edge, his unbuttoned white collar shirt flowed with the breeze, his white T-shirt stuck to his chest, he had black pants, black gloves with the figures cut out, creamy smooth white skin, and white sneakers. Man did this guy like white.
“Of course, follow me it’s this way.” He said as he flipped off the roof and landed; sprinting forward with an incredible amount of speed that even Maximus would have a hard time trying to catch him.
“Hey wait up!” Zane yelled as he sprinted off the roof top and towards the path Guss was rushing towards. The wind was loud against his ears and the Campus seemed to get even more beautiful and bigger as he passed. The shy boy turned around a corner and Zane leaped to the side of the building and stood gasping for air.
“Man you really can run.” Zane said.
“Thanks,” Guss replied. “You will meet Mr. Yodahama inside just tell him you would like to register and follow him, I’ll see you later, maybe.” Zane smiled but as the last word passed out of Guss’s mouth the smile almost faded away, was it a maybe as in Mr. Yodahama wouldn’t let him register or a maybe as in he might not make it out alive. Then he thought about what Alyssa said last night.
“Sleep well Zane, you’re going to need all the strength you can use.” Her words still echoed in his mind. They knew something, something that he didn’t and it scared him a little.
“Thanks I’ll see you around, maybe.” Zane replied. He walked up and opened the dark brown door; he was welcomed to a fuzzy purple carpet, a purple drape over the clear window, a brown bookshelf full of golden awards and well…. Books, a brown desk and a poster with several students on it. Zane stepped inside and took a deep breath.
“Well, what do I owe this occasion?” Someone asked. Zane turned around and saw a man with a black fedora, short gray hair, intense black eyes, a light blue dress shirt, a dark blue dress vest, dark blue tux pants, and black dress shoes.
“Yikes!” Zane yelled in surprise. He jumped back scared almost half to death.
“Sorry, I always forget to give a sign that I’m in the room.” Mr. Yodahama said.
“Anyway, hi I’m Zane, where do I register for Crow Academy? I really want to learn to control my powers.” Zane asked. The man smiled and pulled out a white piece of paper and put on a brown clip board that looked like it fought many battles itself. Mr. Yodahama handed him the clip board and offered a smile.
“First fill out this sheet and then your judgment and if you pass you will start your classes tomorrow.” He replied in a soft tone, gesturing Zane to sit in his chair.
“Wait a second what do you mean judgment?” Zane asked. Mr. Yodahama smiled and walked out of the fuzzy purple carpeted room. Zane sighed and rubbed his hand through his ink black hair, walking over to the desk he sat down and read the forum.
“Let’s see,’ first name’, of course Zane, ‘last name’, Kiashimati,’ Age’ thirteen. ‘Power’, I guess that would be fire, ‘Name one reason why I want to join Crow Academy’. Hmm How about to control my powers, Name your strengths, I can withstand long amounts of pain. No how about I’m strong and fast. Name your weaknesses; well it’s hard for me to focus sometimes.” Zane thought. He wrote down everything as quick as he could, stood up and walked out of the fuzzy purple carpeted room.
“Mr. Yodahama!” He called, “I’m done with the forum of registration.” Mr. Yodahama walked up the hall with a smile on his face.
“That is great, let’s take a look.” The black fedora wearing man said receiving the brown clip board and reading the forum. After a minute or so, which felt like an eternity, the black fedora wearing man put down the clip board and offered another smile.
“Well,” He said, “It has been a while since we have had a fire user, follow me and we will begin your judgment and if you pass you can start your classes tomorrow. “
There it was again if not when, a chill went up Zane’s spine as they walked down the brown hallway with posters of students and their swords. “Um… Mr. Y-Yodahama can you tell me a little more about this whole judgment thing?” Zane asked. Mr. Yodahama turned his head from Zane and walked inside of what looked to be a gym before he could hear a word he said. Zane frowned and walked through the green, heavy doors.
It was pitch dark; Zane moved his hands around him as he walked resembling a blind man with a cane. Suddenly he walked into something, a brick wall of flesh, hot breath that smelled like mint brushed against his face. Zane opened his eyes and they widen in surprise as they saw a familiar face. The smooth blond hair, those dark sky blue eyes, the pale but muscular features. “No! It can’t be you, I-I ran away, you would never come this far from your home!” Zane yelled in fear.
The shadowy figure walked into the light. “Nice to see you Zane, long time no see after you ran away.” He said.
A lump lodged in Zane’s throat, sweat dripped from his chin. Maximus, the reason why Zane was here, the man that caused him so much pain. “M-M-Maximus what are you doing here?” Zane asked in fright.
“Well after you ran away, I decided to look for you. You couldn’t have gone far and that is when I spotted you, but you weren’t alone a girl was with you.” Maximus said.
“Alyssa.” He thought.
“It’s simple really, I am you judgment, your greatest fear. I’m flattered really, but I’m going to kill you nice and slow, since I no longer have a need for you.” Maximus said.
“Yeah I’d like to see you try, I’m not the same kid who was scared to say what I thought, and now I’m going to knock you into the next century!” Zane yelled.
An evil smile showed on Maximus’s pale un-trustable face. “You have awoken your power, but you’re still blind, this my friend is what makes you the horse and me the king.” Maximus said in a ruff tone of voice.
What did he mean by Zane was a horse and he was blind. Last time Zane checked he could see clearly, and he walked on two legs not four. The hairs on Zane’s neck began to bristle. “You should have run the second you had the chance.” Maximus whispered.
Zane ran, sprinting faster than a cheetah on the hunt. His heart thumped roughly in his ears and against his chest like a drum. Suddenly out of the blue Maximus appeared right in front of him making a poof sound. He grabbed Zane by the throat, and the boy kicked and struggled rebelling against the man “This Zane is what I was talking about, the king and the horse are both the same, but the king is the one with instinct and you lack that instinct.” Maximus taunted.
“Yeah Maximus I’m the horse, and every night I go over the mountain to meet my friend the Unicorn,” Zane said in sarcasm. “Cut the crap Maximus you made that up while you where overdosed on a bottle of Saki.” The young spirited young boy protested as he head butted Maximus in his paled pointy nose.
The psychotic man let go of Zane and stumbled back holding his bleeding nose. Zane stood up and smiled viewing the sight of Maximus’s bleeding nose.
“You worthless excuse for a heat lamp I am going to kill you!” He yelled in anger still holding his nose.
“All that big talk with a broken nose, maybe I’ll put a dent in that face of yours for the pain that you caused me!” Zane yelled back.
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Tell me how it is, I really, really want to know the readers thoughts and how they think I can make it better
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