Welcome!
This is a Choose your adventure story. That means I'll write a short section of the story at which point you, the readers, will make a decision that will affect the rest of the story. I consider this a form of interactive writing that combines my ideas with the readers decisions which can only lead to absolute chaos, immense debauchery, and a plethora of hilarious encounters. In this instance we'll be taking the reigns of myself, Zombie, through real events in my life that will end up far from the truth.
What could possibly go wrong? Hopefully everything.
Voting
After each section, you will be presented a series of choices. You can only vote once, and after a set period of time the voting will be closed and I will proceed to tally the votes. You can attempt to persuade others to side with your votes, and you can especially encourage your friends to join in on the vote. I expect confrontations and sides, that can only make it more vulgar and better. Argue incessantly, flame, and troll. Remember, the more divided, the better. Because divided we fall. I want to fall far from grace. Thanks for participating and I hope I successfully entertain you and I also hope I don't get banned (please don't ban me).
Without further ado:
In the year 1987, Ronald Reagan was still president and the cold war was drawing near to its end. However, more important matters were subject to occur. On the fifth of April, the most handsome baby boy you've ever seen was born. The female nurses quivered while biting their lips before hurriedly vacating the room. It took hours to mop up the mess.
He was a perfectly healthy baby, incredibly strong, and quick to drain the teet. He took his first steps in only a month, and on the eleventh of June he decried to President Gorbachev with his first words “Tear down that wall!” The next day, President Reagan used this exact quote in West Berlin.
Before long, young Zombie was fluent in the English language, managed to win several olympic events, and was the first infant in space. His modesty knew no limits though, and he personally had those accomplishments stricken from the history books while simultaneously refusing a Nobel Peace Prize for curing AIDS with cheap .22LR bullets with his partner in crime, Mike Pence.
Due to the suppression of his accomplishments, Zombie was required to attend an ordinary kindergarten. On his first days he found his peers beneath him and would quickly work to rein them under his control. Through the use of subversion, psychological operations, and endless treachery. By the second day half the class was in Soviet gulags. Yet, one person stood on his path to supremacy. Advocating for peace and companionship. “What a stupid bitch” he thought to himself of this lady who dared to call herself his teacher.
Now Choose:
(A) Kill her family in secret. Great loss will destroy her.
(B) Seduce her. No woman can resist Zombie’s temptation.
(C) Overthrow her authority and seize the means of production.
(D) Lead a revolt and utilize democracy to undermine her power.
This is a Choose your adventure story. That means I'll write a short section of the story at which point you, the readers, will make a decision that will affect the rest of the story. I consider this a form of interactive writing that combines my ideas with the readers decisions which can only lead to absolute chaos, immense debauchery, and a plethora of hilarious encounters. In this instance we'll be taking the reigns of myself, Zombie, through real events in my life that will end up far from the truth.
What could possibly go wrong? Hopefully everything.
Voting
After each section, you will be presented a series of choices. You can only vote once, and after a set period of time the voting will be closed and I will proceed to tally the votes. You can attempt to persuade others to side with your votes, and you can especially encourage your friends to join in on the vote. I expect confrontations and sides, that can only make it more vulgar and better. Argue incessantly, flame, and troll. Remember, the more divided, the better. Because divided we fall. I want to fall far from grace. Thanks for participating and I hope I successfully entertain you and I also hope I don't get banned (please don't ban me).
Without further ado:
A Historical Misrepresentation of the life of Zombie
In the year 1987, Ronald Reagan was still president and the cold war was drawing near to its end. However, more important matters were subject to occur. On the fifth of April, the most handsome baby boy you've ever seen was born. The female nurses quivered while biting their lips before hurriedly vacating the room. It took hours to mop up the mess.
He was a perfectly healthy baby, incredibly strong, and quick to drain the teet. He took his first steps in only a month, and on the eleventh of June he decried to President Gorbachev with his first words “Tear down that wall!” The next day, President Reagan used this exact quote in West Berlin.
Before long, young Zombie was fluent in the English language, managed to win several olympic events, and was the first infant in space. His modesty knew no limits though, and he personally had those accomplishments stricken from the history books while simultaneously refusing a Nobel Peace Prize for curing AIDS with cheap .22LR bullets with his partner in crime, Mike Pence.
Due to the suppression of his accomplishments, Zombie was required to attend an ordinary kindergarten. On his first days he found his peers beneath him and would quickly work to rein them under his control. Through the use of subversion, psychological operations, and endless treachery. By the second day half the class was in Soviet gulags. Yet, one person stood on his path to supremacy. Advocating for peace and companionship. “What a stupid bitch” he thought to himself of this lady who dared to call herself his teacher.
Now Choose:
(B) Seduce her. No woman can resist Zombie’s temptation.
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