Chickens > Humans

FreakensteinAG · Nov 10, 2015

Name six ways humans are better than chickens.

...

See? Nobody can do it! You know why? Cause chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hangin around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don't see a chicken strapping another chicken to a chair and hookin up his balls to a car battery, do you? When's the last time you heard of a chicken coming home from work and beating the shit out of his hen, hmm? How about a chicken overlord instructing his chicken and hen followers to commit suicide before the chicken army comes to arrest him because he killed a chicken senator? I didn't think so!

V h o · Nov 10, 2015

And how does this make you feel?

FreakensteinAG · Nov 10, 2015

Sir Volkswagon III said:
And how does this make you feel?

Well it makes me feel very upset! I can't believe I'm part of a species where we specialize in doing harm to each other. Hey at least with chickens they spend most of their time clucking the hell out of each other and standing around looking stupid.

But they don't commit atrocities

Oh sure, there's the rare rooster that roosts other roosters out of their roosting place and their talons are too sharp for safety, but accidental killings aren't called murders, they're called homicides. And you know the roosters just do that to protect their coop. If another rooster came in my coop and wanted my co-op in cooping my hen baby to make more hen babies, I would flip shit too!

Your Creepy Stalker · Nov 10, 2015

We're taller, have arms, have hands, have fingers, have toes, and eat chicken.

FreakensteinAG · Nov 10, 2015

Your Creepy Stalker said:
We're taller, have arms, have hands, have fingers, have toes, and eat chicken.

I've seen humans get cloths-lined in the neck by slightly taller metal boards and get arms amputated because they were Priority Registration in the Darwin Awards. I don't know what chickens you've seen, but chickens have hands, fingers, and toes. Toes that could cut a ***** if he/she were mad enough. What do humans do with their toes? Pick at it and stub them on tables. Evolution at its finest. I also question your sexual health if you eat chickens. Humans feast on chickens, not eat them. Now most of the census revolves around people who thinks its a good idea to let the sun cook them to death based on the same principles that cooking meat makes delicious food, but at least they don't have sick thoughts.

GinkgoLeaf Girl · Nov 10, 2015

FreakensteinAG said:
I've seen humans get cloths-lined in the neck by slightly taller metal boards and get arms amputated because they were Priority Registration in the Darwin Awards. I don't know what chickens you've seen, but chickens have hands, fingers, and toes. Toes that could cut a ***** if he/she were mad enough. What do humans do with their toes? Pick at it and stub them on tables. Evolution at its finest. I also question your sexual health if you eat chickens. Humans feast on chickens, not eat them. Now most of the census revolves around people who thinks its a good idea to let the sun cook them to death based on the same principles that cooking meat makes delicious food, but at least they don't have sick thoughts.

Hahahaha!

Do you feel this way about other animals, or just chickens?

Sonne2 · Nov 10, 2015

Big Bird aint got nothin on me!

FreakensteinAG · Nov 10, 2015

GinkgoLeaf Girl said:
Hahahaha!

Do you feel this way about other animals, or just chickens?

Just chickens. Other birds take pride in waking you up before you're ready to wake up and delight in taking hot poops on your favorite things. I've seen crows fight other crows for a dead rat in the road and the pidgins across the street demanded blood money for the accidental casualty they caused when an eggling got too excited and flew in the raven alpha male's eye, causing his back leg to pierce his soft, delicious sternum. Cassowaries and Emus are mean sons of *****es. They're like if the entire state of Australia had a population of Stalins and Theodore Roosevelts and they have the mindset that there's only one female in the entire landmass and YOU took it. What the hell did we do? We didn't do jack shit, we're over here in Houston Texas you *******s!

CloyEscapade · Nov 10, 2015

You're absolutely correct when discussing cuckoos and chocobos

Yanks · Nov 10, 2015

Lmao.

Xlad · Nov 10, 2015

Lol I think I get what's going on.

Fountain · Nov 10, 2015

Chickens only serve one purpose in life. I think we all know what that is.

GinkgoLeaf Girl · Nov 10, 2015

FreakensteinAG said:
Just chickens. Other birds take pride in waking you up before you're ready to wake up and delight in taking hot poops on your favorite things. I've seen crows fight other crows for a dead rat in the road and the pidgins across the street demanded blood money for the accidental casualty they caused when an eggling got too excited and flew in the raven alpha male's eye, causing his back leg to pierce his soft, delicious sternum. Cassowaries and Emus are mean sons of *****es. They're like if the entire state of Australia had a population of Stalins and Theodore Roosevelts and they have the mindset that there's only one female in the entire landmass and YOU took it. What the hell did we do? We didn't do jack shit, we're over here in Houston Texas you *******s!

Lol! You seem very passionate about this--good on you! When I was seven years old, I was chased by this Canada goose. Ever since, I have been mildly afraid of them. They're pretty cute, but also kind of scary