The underground train rattled and shook Alice over the last lap of her journey. Gone now were the memories of that holiday on the Greek island with its intoxicating smells, sounds and company.
Instead, a mountain of foreboding and indecision replaced these memories. Alice knew that twice before she had been drawn irresistibly into the flame of Karl?s passion and had reveled in its combustion.
Although many years had now passed, she knew that her attraction to Karl was just as strong as ever but also that the flame now had an infinitely greater capacity to burn.
She knew that to see Karl again was a mistake. To see Karl over lunch and alone was an even bigger mistake. To agree to meet him at a Central London hotel meant only one thing. If she doubted this, she only needed to consider the length of time she?d spent in front of the mirror before putting her dress on. Through all her confusion, some small part of her where common sense still prevailed, acknowledged that spending all that time in front of the mirror meant only one thing. It was not only the soft, silky green, shimmering dress that she?d put on that was meant to be seen.
Yet she was drawn to Karl irresistibly and as each mile passed and she grew closer to him, her pulse raced faster. The train continued with its twisting and turning through the underground corridors of London and inexorably she felt the mounting excitement of a racing pigeon almost home after a long and lonely journey.
Alice had always believed in marital fidelity. She also believed in rules. She believed that to be unfaithful to John was wrong. All this was completely clear in her mind but she also knew that Karl probably had a room at the hotel. How could she not avoid saying ?yes? if he invited her there? How could she say ?no? and live with the certain knowledge of those missed moments.
The fresh air as she emerged from the underground station at Hyde Park Corner was refreshing but did nothing to clear her mind.
Her journey had been timed to perfection and she knew inside the hotel Karl would now be waiting for her near the reception desk. Suddenly, as she came close to the hotel, she turned and walked away. At first her steps were quick and purposeful; she?d made up her mind. Then they slowed gradually until she was just standing. Finally, like an automaton, she found she?d turned and was slowly walking back.
She felt defeated, as she walked past the attendant and through the great doors of the hotel, as it she?d just lost a great battle.
She scanned the foyer for signs of Karl but he was nowhere to be seen. If she could break the chain of events, perhaps she could stay in control. It always started with the hand on the back of the neck and as she crossed the foyer to the reception desk, she continually scanned around her to avoid being caught unawares.
The receptionist, a small man with weasel eyes, seem to look right through her and Alice felt her ears starting to burn.
She gave her name and the man nodded, sagely. He was used to beautiful smartly dressed ladies appearing at his desk en route to lunchtime assignations.
Then Alice felt the hand at the back of her neck and knew that she had failed her first test. The chain was still intact and she turned to face the smiling Karl with resignation.
?Has it been too long for us to welcome each other with a kiss,? he said, formally. The emailed photograph hadn?t done his appearance justice. Alice?s legs were immediately weak and she was unable to speak.
As a compromise, she offered her cheek and he duly complied. Formal though it was, it didn?t prevent a shiver running through her body.
?Where are we eating?? Alice needed to know that they were going to be somewhere public at least to begin with.
?Let go through to the dining room,? said Karl, reassuringly.
Minutes later they were seated in the window of the plushest dining room that Alice had ever seen. All around, well-dressed diners tucked into well-dressed plates apparently with nothing but pleasure on their minds. For Alice, it was like standing at the top of a perilous mountain, knowing that the only way to go from here was down.
?Thanks for agreeing to see me,? said Karl, ?I understand that, for a married woman, it must feel strange being here.?
Alice nodded and managed a smile.
?Perhaps, to start with, I should put your mind at rest by telling you the reason I wanted you here.?
Instead, a mountain of foreboding and indecision replaced these memories. Alice knew that twice before she had been drawn irresistibly into the flame of Karl?s passion and had reveled in its combustion.
Although many years had now passed, she knew that her attraction to Karl was just as strong as ever but also that the flame now had an infinitely greater capacity to burn.
She knew that to see Karl again was a mistake. To see Karl over lunch and alone was an even bigger mistake. To agree to meet him at a Central London hotel meant only one thing. If she doubted this, she only needed to consider the length of time she?d spent in front of the mirror before putting her dress on. Through all her confusion, some small part of her where common sense still prevailed, acknowledged that spending all that time in front of the mirror meant only one thing. It was not only the soft, silky green, shimmering dress that she?d put on that was meant to be seen.
Yet she was drawn to Karl irresistibly and as each mile passed and she grew closer to him, her pulse raced faster. The train continued with its twisting and turning through the underground corridors of London and inexorably she felt the mounting excitement of a racing pigeon almost home after a long and lonely journey.
Alice had always believed in marital fidelity. She also believed in rules. She believed that to be unfaithful to John was wrong. All this was completely clear in her mind but she also knew that Karl probably had a room at the hotel. How could she not avoid saying ?yes? if he invited her there? How could she say ?no? and live with the certain knowledge of those missed moments.
The fresh air as she emerged from the underground station at Hyde Park Corner was refreshing but did nothing to clear her mind.
Her journey had been timed to perfection and she knew inside the hotel Karl would now be waiting for her near the reception desk. Suddenly, as she came close to the hotel, she turned and walked away. At first her steps were quick and purposeful; she?d made up her mind. Then they slowed gradually until she was just standing. Finally, like an automaton, she found she?d turned and was slowly walking back.
She felt defeated, as she walked past the attendant and through the great doors of the hotel, as it she?d just lost a great battle.
She scanned the foyer for signs of Karl but he was nowhere to be seen. If she could break the chain of events, perhaps she could stay in control. It always started with the hand on the back of the neck and as she crossed the foyer to the reception desk, she continually scanned around her to avoid being caught unawares.
The receptionist, a small man with weasel eyes, seem to look right through her and Alice felt her ears starting to burn.
She gave her name and the man nodded, sagely. He was used to beautiful smartly dressed ladies appearing at his desk en route to lunchtime assignations.
Then Alice felt the hand at the back of her neck and knew that she had failed her first test. The chain was still intact and she turned to face the smiling Karl with resignation.
?Has it been too long for us to welcome each other with a kiss,? he said, formally. The emailed photograph hadn?t done his appearance justice. Alice?s legs were immediately weak and she was unable to speak.
As a compromise, she offered her cheek and he duly complied. Formal though it was, it didn?t prevent a shiver running through her body.
?Where are we eating?? Alice needed to know that they were going to be somewhere public at least to begin with.
?Let go through to the dining room,? said Karl, reassuringly.
Minutes later they were seated in the window of the plushest dining room that Alice had ever seen. All around, well-dressed diners tucked into well-dressed plates apparently with nothing but pleasure on their minds. For Alice, it was like standing at the top of a perilous mountain, knowing that the only way to go from here was down.
?Thanks for agreeing to see me,? said Karl, ?I understand that, for a married woman, it must feel strange being here.?
Alice nodded and managed a smile.
?Perhaps, to start with, I should put your mind at rest by telling you the reason I wanted you here.?
