Chapter 3 :
-How Parents Fight-
Now I'm going through changes, changes,
God,I feel so frustrated lately,
When I get suffocated, save me,
Now I'm going through changes, changes.-Changes-3 Doors Down
They kept Itachi drugged for another day, and he slept hard. When he did wake up he was sleepy and confused. He was grouchy and snapped at everyone but Sasuke. He got an odd look in his eyes when the boy came in, and always motioned him over. He didn't always say anything, but he seemed glad to have the boy near. Sasuke didn't want to go to school, but his mother made him. Fugaku was at work, and didn't have a say in the matter.
Shisui or Shogo stayed with Itachi while Mikoto was out, but usually, she was there. She measured doses and dealt with the brunt of the drugged boy's attitude. Itachi had never been a gracious patient, always insisting he was fine, but drugged he was just irritatable. He kept saying something about a dream, and it either scared or disgusted him. Perhaps both. It was hard to get any sense out of him.
Shisui was visiting as the last of the drugs left Itachi's system. Itachi had been sulkily curled up under two blankets all evening, pretending to sleep. Fugaku had checked on him twice in the last few minutes, waiting for the boy to be awake enough to talk to. He'd like to know just what had proceeded the fit night before last.
Fugaku walked in and found Itachi's eyes were open and he was sitting up. His hair was mussed into spikes and probably mats. He was beginning to pick it out with a scowl on his face. His hands slipped and shook from the after effects of the drug, but he doggedly kept up his task, admittedly a hard one with shaking and sweaty fingers.
"Are you feeling better?" Fugaku asked as he sat. He hadn't spent so much time in Itachi's room in years.
Itachi shook his head. "I don't know. All I want to do is go back to sleep, but I can't. Please ask me again after all the drug has worn off." He dropped his brush and picked it up with an irritated noise. "I'm not sure I even felt bad to begin with."
He'd been crying blood, and he hadn't felt bad. Fugaku almost shook his head. "Do you remember what happened the night before last, after you got back from your mission?"
"I-" Itachi paused and picked at a particularly nasty snarl. His voice dropped lower. "I had a bad dream-a strange dream, but nothing else." His tone said he hoped it.
"You don't remember anything happening?" Fugaku pressed.
"No, no, I don't..." Itachi made a face and looked over at his father. "That wasn't part of the dream was it?" Itachi reached up and brushed a finger under his eye. "I apologize for that..."
"For crying blood? I'm not sure that's something you can apologize for, unless you know what caused it."
Itachi shook his head. "It's never happened before." There was almost a stutter between the words, as if he thought there might have been. He repeated the words with more conviction and he looked put out about something. Fugaku put it down to the drugs still coursing through Itachi's system.
"Genzai-sensei thinks you over used your sharingan." Fugaku wasn't certain that was it. He'd overused his sharingan many times, but he'd never had anything other than photophobia and migraines. Some people saw spots, some had blurred vision, but he'd never even heard of someone bleeding from the eyes.
"I didn't use my sharingan at all last mission. There was no need." Itachi paused and his fingers stilled for a moment. "Chakra exhaustion isn't likely either, since I haven't used much of it in the past few days, and I would know if my reserves were that low."
"It can sneak up on you, if you're constantly pushing," Fugaku pointed out. He watched as Itachi's fingers went back to work, tugging and coaxing each tangle out. The boy had found to keep his hair long since he was young, insisting it was better that way. He hardly ever let it get tangled, and it didn't usually get bad tangles, unless he tossed and turned on it for two days.
Itachi dropped the brush on the tatami and scowled as he leaned forward to pick it up. "I don't think that's it." He held the brush firmly in his shaking hand and looked at his father squarely. "I know my own strength. I have been pushing it since joining ANBU, yes, but I haven't been pushing it very badly. I have more chakra than the average ninja already, and I have excellent control of it."
From anyone else Fugaku would have called it a boast, but from Itachi it was the simple truth. He nodded in acceptance of his child's words. "Just rest, then. It can't do you any harm, and you seem to be recovering well from your…fit."
Itachi made the soft humming noise that meant he agreed in a vague way, but didn't want to bother speaking. He tugged the brushed through the first inch of his hair and gave a small sigh. He had a long way to go. Fugaku held out his hand for the brush. Itachi looked at him, surprised, but he slowly handed the brush over to his father. Fugaku took the brush and moved to sit behind Itachi.
Itachi pushed his hair over his shoulder and sat up straight as his father began the slow process of brushing Itachi's hair. It was thick and coarse, thought not as coarse as Sasuke's promised to be. It was more like Fugaku's than Mikoto's. Strange, that was the only way Itachi favored his father in looks. Then again, the boy didn't look much like his mother either. Especially his extravagant lashes.
If Itachi had been anyone other than he was, his face and build probably would have landed him in seduction. Who knew, he could still manage to get himself hooked into that business. It was a sobering thought. The seduction corps had short runs and often came out broken in new ways. Fugaku wanted to believe Itachi was too young for anyone to even think of putting him on such a mission, but he'd known of younger agent doomed to that fate.
Fugaku pulled the brush through Itachi's hair one more time, and it slid through. The boy was relaxed now, shoulders just a tiny bit slumped and his head bowed forward. So, it still worked. Fugaku could remember hours of walking up and down the halls with Itachi, running his hand through the boy's hair until he fell asleep. It had been a fail-safe way of getting Itachi to nap as a toddler, and it seemed to still have the same effect on him years later.
"Itachi, you're awake," Mikoto came in with a smile on her face and a tray in hand. There was rice and tea on the tray. It was simple food, but Itachi perked up at the sight of it. He hadn't eaten much at all since his 'fit', as Fugaku had begun to think of it.
"Yes, I am," Itachi gave a small bow, his hair sliding over his shoulder. "I apologize for causing you such concern." There was Itachi, always formal.
Mikoto gave her head a little shake and sat down, not even jostling the items on her tray. Fugaku always had to marvel such a fearsome kunoichi had been content to settle down and have children. "Are you feeling better, Itachi?"
"Hai, I feel much better, Okaa-san." Itachi straightened up and flicked his hair back behind his shoulder. Fugaku moved to sit beside his wife. Mikoto handed Itachi the tray and gave him a very serious look over.
"You look better, please keep resting, though." Mikoto stood and Fugaku followed her. He glanced back at Itachi and saw the boy was eating more slowly than usual, but considering how the boy usually inhaled his food, it was an improvement.
"I'd like to know what was wrong with him," Mikoto intoned as she walked back to the kitchen.
"Whatever it was, he seems to be recovering." Fugaku wasn't satisfied with that anymore than Mikoto was. Anything that might interfere with his son's capabilities as a ninja was a large worry. Bleeding from the eyes fell into that category without a doubt.
"Doesn't he," Mikoto replied. She wasn't satisfied with that. Fugaku leaned against the doorframe and watched her move around the kitchen.
"Mikoto, don't worry. He'll be fine-"
Mikoto whirled around, and the sharingan flashed in her eyes. It was alarming to see it after her eyes had been a docile grey for so long, even if it only had two tomoe whirling in it.
"Like he always is? He comes home broken and bleeding and you always say that, Fugaku! Do you see him as anything but a ninja? Can't you see him as your son-as the child he is? He woke up screaming and bleeding, and we don't know why, but all you say is he'll be fine?" Mikoto didn't raise her voice, but she went cold.
"I see him as my son," Fugaku defended. "He's been acting fine today, Mikoto, and Itachi's-"
"Invincible? Amazingly resilient?" Mikoto asked. "He's thirteen, Fugaku. He's still a child no matter how you try to treat him like he's not!"
"Mikoto, he's not as much of a child as you think he is. He's grown up faster than he should, and he'd no longer a child that you can mother and protect. He's a ninja, a Jounin and ANBU besides, you can not-"
"GET OUT! SHI- GET OUT!"
For the second time there was screaming coming from Itachi's room. Mikoto and Fugaku didn't pause. They ran to their child's room.
Itachi ate slowly, for him at least. He was through with the rice by the time there was a knock on the door. Itachi glanced up and gave his cousin a smile.
"Shi-nii-san," Itachi almost chirped. Shisui was his favorite cousin, more like a brother than a second cousin, actually. Shisui smiled back and walked softly into the room. He was dressed in his uniform, flak vest and all, and his short ponytail stuck out more to the left than the center.
It was a familiar sight, but something in Itachi's mind recoiled from it. Images tried to clamber into his mind unbidden, and he pushed them down. Such things had been trying to happen ever since he'd woken up. He knew the other was responsible for it, and it was annoying to find that the thing was still hanging around. Itachi firmly blamed the drugs.
"Before you ask, I'm feeling better," Itachi snapped his chopsticks at his cousin and placed the tray aside. "I'm not sure when they'll be content to let me go back on duty, though."
Shisui sighed. "'Tachi, you were crying blood, so I don't think they're going to let you go back until they're sure it won't happen again, which can only be a good thing, in my opinion. Besides, you need a break. You haven't had one since you joined ANBU."
Itachi made a noise of grudging consent into his tea mug. He set both mug and tray aside and folded his hands in his lap. "I'm scheduled to take another mission at the end of the week, so a break right now would be inconvenient."
"I think they'll get over it. You haven't even been removed from duty for injuries yet." Shisui reached out and tugged his cousin's bangs.
Itahci blinked at him. "Why would I?" Itachi asked. He knew why. ANBU was the most dangerous branch any Konoha shinobi could participate in, and Itachi had gone through three months with nothing more than bruises and scrapes. He was a genius, but what he had done was almost unheard of.
"You're a brat, you know that?" Shisui was grinning as he said it, and he reached out to ruffled Itachi's hair. Itachi ducked, grabbing his cousin's hand in a steel grip.
"Watch it. I'm an ANBU captain, and I won't stand to have my hair ruffled by the likes you, Special Jounin Uchiha."Itachi followed up the threat by sticking out his tongue. It was good to be around Shisui again. To him, Itachi would always just be Itachi, little cousin and younger brother in everything but blood.
Shisui's hand snaked out, and he almost caught Itachi tongue. "Hey, you watch yourself, Itachi-chan.I'm your elder, and you should treat me with respect."
Itachi rolled his eyes. "Elder, and inferior. How pathetic, Shi-nii-san. I'd think you wouldn't want to remind me of how much older than me you are."
Shisui chuckled. "Itachi, you can become Hokage and I'll still be your elder cousin, and you'll never be able to beat me at transolcation, right?"
"That's because your chakra does that weird twist-twitch thing that it's not supposed to," Itachi pointed out with a superior smirk.
"Oh, so I'm just defective, is that it?" Shisui asked, eyebrows going up and a smile curving up his lips.
"Yes." Itachi lifted his head and looked down his nose at Shisui.
Shisui heaved a dramatic sigh. "I guess I'll just go jump up of a bridge and rid the Uchiha family up such a blight to their name. Woe, is me, I am defective."
Itachi giggled. "But you can swi-"
Jump off a bridge-drowned in the river-tragic, suicide, not, liar
Itachi's body drew tight, and he recognized the other's thoughts slipping across his. His breath caught and he couldn't take his eyes off Shisui. He wasn't seeing his cousin, with concern slowly growing on his face. He was seeing his cousin, but not with the traces of a smile still on his face. He was-
He was holding Shisui under water, just so as not to leave a bruise. His hands were braced against his cousin's neck, and chakra kept him on the surface of the water while he held his victim under. The night was dark, the streets were quiet, but it would still be a nerve wracking three minutes before his cousin passed out and he could let go.
Shisui's dark little ponytail had come loose, and bloomed across the dark water like a shadow. He struggled, but the struggles were getting weaker. He was losing oxygen. He was seconds away from passing out. Itachi kept his hold strong and concentrated on not leaving any marks. He couldn't leave a mark, and he wouldn't He was a genius, and he could do things like that. Things like drowning people who could swim like a fish. Things like killing his closest friend and confidant for power that would let him-
No, no, no, Itachi had never done that. He could never do that. Kill Shisui? Itachi could never kill Shisui. Never.
But he had, or he would. The other whispered across his mind, and Itachi saw his cousin's body sink down below the inky waters. He didn't feel regret. He didn't feel remorse. He was satisfied.
Itachi gagged on the bile that rose in his throat and found his hands were convulsively knotted in the blankets over his legs. He was still staring at Shisui. Shisui, his cousin, his brother, his best friend, a man he had just seen drowned at Itachi's own hands. He could see how it would go. He could hear the words he'd use to lure Shisui out to the river. He knew the drugs to mix into the tea to make precise chakra manipulation impossible for Shisui for a few minutes. He knew. He'd done it.
But Shisui was right in front of him, reaching out to touch him. He'd done it that night, reached out and touched Itachi, not knowing his darling little cousin was planning to kill him. To drown him in the river Shisui had taught Itachi to swim in.
Go jump off a bridge.
"Itachi?" Shisui's hand touched Itachi's sleeve, and the boy jumped like he'd been burned.
"Don't touch me!" Itachi snapped, suddenly frightened. He'd never kill Shisui, but he had, his mind told him. It was impossible, but he had. He would. He was capable of killing his cousin.
"Itachi, what's-"
Itachi's sharingan activated. Stress and fright brought it out even when he didn't want it. Itachi gasped, a high, pained noise that slipped out of him unwillingly. His eyes burned. His sight dimmed and blurred and tears gathered in his eyes. Itachi whimpered and hunched over, trying frantically to stop the pain, to make the sharingan go away.
"Itachi," Shisui's hand was on Itachi's shoulder. Itachi was flipping him around, shoving him face first into the water, holding him down under the surface waiting for him to drown...
"Shisui, get out!" Itachi almost shouted. Shisui recoiled, but he didn't move away. He didn't even stand up. "Get out now!" Itachi gasped and he actually whined as the burning of his eyes doubled. He could feel his chest starting to burn, and he couldn't breathe. Itachi tried to shove those things away. They weren't his. They belonged to the other, like the memory of killing Shisui.
" Get out!" Itachi was shouting now, his voice strained. "Shi-get out!" His eyes were on fire, and no matter how tightly he closed them they still hurt. He couldn't make the burning pain go away. He couldn't make it any better. He whimpered and felt thick hot tears start down his face.
"Oh, ashes and death," Shisui breathed. Itachi heard the door flung open. People were shouting. Someone grabbed Itachi's shoulder. He cried out, and someone tipped his head up, telling him to open his eyes. Just open his eyes.
Itachi's eyes flashed open and he looked up at his father's face through a red haze. Itachi choked on the bile rising in his throat. The only thing worse than killing Shisui would be killing his parents, and when he looked up at his father, he saw the man crumpled on the ground, bleeding with Itachi's sword in his stomach.
Itachi thought he might scream, but pain spiked through his temples and everything went black and blessedly blank.
-How Parents Fight-
Now I'm going through changes, changes,
God,I feel so frustrated lately,
When I get suffocated, save me,
Now I'm going through changes, changes.-Changes-3 Doors Down
They kept Itachi drugged for another day, and he slept hard. When he did wake up he was sleepy and confused. He was grouchy and snapped at everyone but Sasuke. He got an odd look in his eyes when the boy came in, and always motioned him over. He didn't always say anything, but he seemed glad to have the boy near. Sasuke didn't want to go to school, but his mother made him. Fugaku was at work, and didn't have a say in the matter.
Shisui or Shogo stayed with Itachi while Mikoto was out, but usually, she was there. She measured doses and dealt with the brunt of the drugged boy's attitude. Itachi had never been a gracious patient, always insisting he was fine, but drugged he was just irritatable. He kept saying something about a dream, and it either scared or disgusted him. Perhaps both. It was hard to get any sense out of him.
Shisui was visiting as the last of the drugs left Itachi's system. Itachi had been sulkily curled up under two blankets all evening, pretending to sleep. Fugaku had checked on him twice in the last few minutes, waiting for the boy to be awake enough to talk to. He'd like to know just what had proceeded the fit night before last.
Fugaku walked in and found Itachi's eyes were open and he was sitting up. His hair was mussed into spikes and probably mats. He was beginning to pick it out with a scowl on his face. His hands slipped and shook from the after effects of the drug, but he doggedly kept up his task, admittedly a hard one with shaking and sweaty fingers.
"Are you feeling better?" Fugaku asked as he sat. He hadn't spent so much time in Itachi's room in years.
Itachi shook his head. "I don't know. All I want to do is go back to sleep, but I can't. Please ask me again after all the drug has worn off." He dropped his brush and picked it up with an irritated noise. "I'm not sure I even felt bad to begin with."
He'd been crying blood, and he hadn't felt bad. Fugaku almost shook his head. "Do you remember what happened the night before last, after you got back from your mission?"
"I-" Itachi paused and picked at a particularly nasty snarl. His voice dropped lower. "I had a bad dream-a strange dream, but nothing else." His tone said he hoped it.
"You don't remember anything happening?" Fugaku pressed.
"No, no, I don't..." Itachi made a face and looked over at his father. "That wasn't part of the dream was it?" Itachi reached up and brushed a finger under his eye. "I apologize for that..."
"For crying blood? I'm not sure that's something you can apologize for, unless you know what caused it."
Itachi shook his head. "It's never happened before." There was almost a stutter between the words, as if he thought there might have been. He repeated the words with more conviction and he looked put out about something. Fugaku put it down to the drugs still coursing through Itachi's system.
"Genzai-sensei thinks you over used your sharingan." Fugaku wasn't certain that was it. He'd overused his sharingan many times, but he'd never had anything other than photophobia and migraines. Some people saw spots, some had blurred vision, but he'd never even heard of someone bleeding from the eyes.
"I didn't use my sharingan at all last mission. There was no need." Itachi paused and his fingers stilled for a moment. "Chakra exhaustion isn't likely either, since I haven't used much of it in the past few days, and I would know if my reserves were that low."
"It can sneak up on you, if you're constantly pushing," Fugaku pointed out. He watched as Itachi's fingers went back to work, tugging and coaxing each tangle out. The boy had found to keep his hair long since he was young, insisting it was better that way. He hardly ever let it get tangled, and it didn't usually get bad tangles, unless he tossed and turned on it for two days.
Itachi dropped the brush on the tatami and scowled as he leaned forward to pick it up. "I don't think that's it." He held the brush firmly in his shaking hand and looked at his father squarely. "I know my own strength. I have been pushing it since joining ANBU, yes, but I haven't been pushing it very badly. I have more chakra than the average ninja already, and I have excellent control of it."
From anyone else Fugaku would have called it a boast, but from Itachi it was the simple truth. He nodded in acceptance of his child's words. "Just rest, then. It can't do you any harm, and you seem to be recovering well from your…fit."
Itachi made the soft humming noise that meant he agreed in a vague way, but didn't want to bother speaking. He tugged the brushed through the first inch of his hair and gave a small sigh. He had a long way to go. Fugaku held out his hand for the brush. Itachi looked at him, surprised, but he slowly handed the brush over to his father. Fugaku took the brush and moved to sit behind Itachi.
Itachi pushed his hair over his shoulder and sat up straight as his father began the slow process of brushing Itachi's hair. It was thick and coarse, thought not as coarse as Sasuke's promised to be. It was more like Fugaku's than Mikoto's. Strange, that was the only way Itachi favored his father in looks. Then again, the boy didn't look much like his mother either. Especially his extravagant lashes.
If Itachi had been anyone other than he was, his face and build probably would have landed him in seduction. Who knew, he could still manage to get himself hooked into that business. It was a sobering thought. The seduction corps had short runs and often came out broken in new ways. Fugaku wanted to believe Itachi was too young for anyone to even think of putting him on such a mission, but he'd known of younger agent doomed to that fate.
Fugaku pulled the brush through Itachi's hair one more time, and it slid through. The boy was relaxed now, shoulders just a tiny bit slumped and his head bowed forward. So, it still worked. Fugaku could remember hours of walking up and down the halls with Itachi, running his hand through the boy's hair until he fell asleep. It had been a fail-safe way of getting Itachi to nap as a toddler, and it seemed to still have the same effect on him years later.
"Itachi, you're awake," Mikoto came in with a smile on her face and a tray in hand. There was rice and tea on the tray. It was simple food, but Itachi perked up at the sight of it. He hadn't eaten much at all since his 'fit', as Fugaku had begun to think of it.
"Yes, I am," Itachi gave a small bow, his hair sliding over his shoulder. "I apologize for causing you such concern." There was Itachi, always formal.
Mikoto gave her head a little shake and sat down, not even jostling the items on her tray. Fugaku always had to marvel such a fearsome kunoichi had been content to settle down and have children. "Are you feeling better, Itachi?"
"Hai, I feel much better, Okaa-san." Itachi straightened up and flicked his hair back behind his shoulder. Fugaku moved to sit beside his wife. Mikoto handed Itachi the tray and gave him a very serious look over.
"You look better, please keep resting, though." Mikoto stood and Fugaku followed her. He glanced back at Itachi and saw the boy was eating more slowly than usual, but considering how the boy usually inhaled his food, it was an improvement.
"I'd like to know what was wrong with him," Mikoto intoned as she walked back to the kitchen.
"Whatever it was, he seems to be recovering." Fugaku wasn't satisfied with that anymore than Mikoto was. Anything that might interfere with his son's capabilities as a ninja was a large worry. Bleeding from the eyes fell into that category without a doubt.
"Doesn't he," Mikoto replied. She wasn't satisfied with that. Fugaku leaned against the doorframe and watched her move around the kitchen.
"Mikoto, don't worry. He'll be fine-"
Mikoto whirled around, and the sharingan flashed in her eyes. It was alarming to see it after her eyes had been a docile grey for so long, even if it only had two tomoe whirling in it.
"Like he always is? He comes home broken and bleeding and you always say that, Fugaku! Do you see him as anything but a ninja? Can't you see him as your son-as the child he is? He woke up screaming and bleeding, and we don't know why, but all you say is he'll be fine?" Mikoto didn't raise her voice, but she went cold.
"I see him as my son," Fugaku defended. "He's been acting fine today, Mikoto, and Itachi's-"
"Invincible? Amazingly resilient?" Mikoto asked. "He's thirteen, Fugaku. He's still a child no matter how you try to treat him like he's not!"
"Mikoto, he's not as much of a child as you think he is. He's grown up faster than he should, and he'd no longer a child that you can mother and protect. He's a ninja, a Jounin and ANBU besides, you can not-"
"GET OUT! SHI- GET OUT!"
For the second time there was screaming coming from Itachi's room. Mikoto and Fugaku didn't pause. They ran to their child's room.
Itachi ate slowly, for him at least. He was through with the rice by the time there was a knock on the door. Itachi glanced up and gave his cousin a smile.
"Shi-nii-san," Itachi almost chirped. Shisui was his favorite cousin, more like a brother than a second cousin, actually. Shisui smiled back and walked softly into the room. He was dressed in his uniform, flak vest and all, and his short ponytail stuck out more to the left than the center.
It was a familiar sight, but something in Itachi's mind recoiled from it. Images tried to clamber into his mind unbidden, and he pushed them down. Such things had been trying to happen ever since he'd woken up. He knew the other was responsible for it, and it was annoying to find that the thing was still hanging around. Itachi firmly blamed the drugs.
"Before you ask, I'm feeling better," Itachi snapped his chopsticks at his cousin and placed the tray aside. "I'm not sure when they'll be content to let me go back on duty, though."
Shisui sighed. "'Tachi, you were crying blood, so I don't think they're going to let you go back until they're sure it won't happen again, which can only be a good thing, in my opinion. Besides, you need a break. You haven't had one since you joined ANBU."
Itachi made a noise of grudging consent into his tea mug. He set both mug and tray aside and folded his hands in his lap. "I'm scheduled to take another mission at the end of the week, so a break right now would be inconvenient."
"I think they'll get over it. You haven't even been removed from duty for injuries yet." Shisui reached out and tugged his cousin's bangs.
Itahci blinked at him. "Why would I?" Itachi asked. He knew why. ANBU was the most dangerous branch any Konoha shinobi could participate in, and Itachi had gone through three months with nothing more than bruises and scrapes. He was a genius, but what he had done was almost unheard of.
"You're a brat, you know that?" Shisui was grinning as he said it, and he reached out to ruffled Itachi's hair. Itachi ducked, grabbing his cousin's hand in a steel grip.
"Watch it. I'm an ANBU captain, and I won't stand to have my hair ruffled by the likes you, Special Jounin Uchiha."Itachi followed up the threat by sticking out his tongue. It was good to be around Shisui again. To him, Itachi would always just be Itachi, little cousin and younger brother in everything but blood.
Shisui's hand snaked out, and he almost caught Itachi tongue. "Hey, you watch yourself, Itachi-chan.I'm your elder, and you should treat me with respect."
Itachi rolled his eyes. "Elder, and inferior. How pathetic, Shi-nii-san. I'd think you wouldn't want to remind me of how much older than me you are."
Shisui chuckled. "Itachi, you can become Hokage and I'll still be your elder cousin, and you'll never be able to beat me at transolcation, right?"
"That's because your chakra does that weird twist-twitch thing that it's not supposed to," Itachi pointed out with a superior smirk.
"Oh, so I'm just defective, is that it?" Shisui asked, eyebrows going up and a smile curving up his lips.
"Yes." Itachi lifted his head and looked down his nose at Shisui.
Shisui heaved a dramatic sigh. "I guess I'll just go jump up of a bridge and rid the Uchiha family up such a blight to their name. Woe, is me, I am defective."
Itachi giggled. "But you can swi-"
Jump off a bridge-drowned in the river-tragic, suicide, not, liar
Itachi's body drew tight, and he recognized the other's thoughts slipping across his. His breath caught and he couldn't take his eyes off Shisui. He wasn't seeing his cousin, with concern slowly growing on his face. He was seeing his cousin, but not with the traces of a smile still on his face. He was-
He was holding Shisui under water, just so as not to leave a bruise. His hands were braced against his cousin's neck, and chakra kept him on the surface of the water while he held his victim under. The night was dark, the streets were quiet, but it would still be a nerve wracking three minutes before his cousin passed out and he could let go.
Shisui's dark little ponytail had come loose, and bloomed across the dark water like a shadow. He struggled, but the struggles were getting weaker. He was losing oxygen. He was seconds away from passing out. Itachi kept his hold strong and concentrated on not leaving any marks. He couldn't leave a mark, and he wouldn't He was a genius, and he could do things like that. Things like drowning people who could swim like a fish. Things like killing his closest friend and confidant for power that would let him-
No, no, no, Itachi had never done that. He could never do that. Kill Shisui? Itachi could never kill Shisui. Never.
But he had, or he would. The other whispered across his mind, and Itachi saw his cousin's body sink down below the inky waters. He didn't feel regret. He didn't feel remorse. He was satisfied.
Itachi gagged on the bile that rose in his throat and found his hands were convulsively knotted in the blankets over his legs. He was still staring at Shisui. Shisui, his cousin, his brother, his best friend, a man he had just seen drowned at Itachi's own hands. He could see how it would go. He could hear the words he'd use to lure Shisui out to the river. He knew the drugs to mix into the tea to make precise chakra manipulation impossible for Shisui for a few minutes. He knew. He'd done it.
But Shisui was right in front of him, reaching out to touch him. He'd done it that night, reached out and touched Itachi, not knowing his darling little cousin was planning to kill him. To drown him in the river Shisui had taught Itachi to swim in.
Go jump off a bridge.
"Itachi?" Shisui's hand touched Itachi's sleeve, and the boy jumped like he'd been burned.
"Don't touch me!" Itachi snapped, suddenly frightened. He'd never kill Shisui, but he had, his mind told him. It was impossible, but he had. He would. He was capable of killing his cousin.
"Itachi, what's-"
Itachi's sharingan activated. Stress and fright brought it out even when he didn't want it. Itachi gasped, a high, pained noise that slipped out of him unwillingly. His eyes burned. His sight dimmed and blurred and tears gathered in his eyes. Itachi whimpered and hunched over, trying frantically to stop the pain, to make the sharingan go away.
"Itachi," Shisui's hand was on Itachi's shoulder. Itachi was flipping him around, shoving him face first into the water, holding him down under the surface waiting for him to drown...
"Shisui, get out!" Itachi almost shouted. Shisui recoiled, but he didn't move away. He didn't even stand up. "Get out now!" Itachi gasped and he actually whined as the burning of his eyes doubled. He could feel his chest starting to burn, and he couldn't breathe. Itachi tried to shove those things away. They weren't his. They belonged to the other, like the memory of killing Shisui.
" Get out!" Itachi was shouting now, his voice strained. "Shi-get out!" His eyes were on fire, and no matter how tightly he closed them they still hurt. He couldn't make the burning pain go away. He couldn't make it any better. He whimpered and felt thick hot tears start down his face.
"Oh, ashes and death," Shisui breathed. Itachi heard the door flung open. People were shouting. Someone grabbed Itachi's shoulder. He cried out, and someone tipped his head up, telling him to open his eyes. Just open his eyes.
Itachi's eyes flashed open and he looked up at his father's face through a red haze. Itachi choked on the bile rising in his throat. The only thing worse than killing Shisui would be killing his parents, and when he looked up at his father, he saw the man crumpled on the ground, bleeding with Itachi's sword in his stomach.
Itachi thought he might scream, but pain spiked through his temples and everything went black and blessedly blank.
