[Romance] Chapter 1: It's Always Been You

[thatsAslap7]

Author's Note: I am warning you now that this is a NaruSaku FanFic. Leave this thread and don't bother reading if you are someone who cannot respect a simple short story or if you detest NaruSaku. Also if you highly praise your ship of NaruHina or SasuSaku, then this story is not for you. I am not a writer but simply a teenager who gets bored and decides to lay down her thoughts by writing. I was also half asleep and listening to "Ridin' Dirty" while writing this. Don't ask. Thank you.

It's Always Been You
A NaruSaku FanFic
By: thatsAslap7
​

I: Naruto's POV

This is how it ends, huh?

A light smile slowly crept on my face as I looked back on the battles, hard work, pain, struggle, and tears my comrades and I endured through out the years to win the hellish war. The memories of various events ran through my head, replaying like a television series that seemed never ending till this very day.

"N-Naruto-kun… Y-You're ramen is getting cold," a shy yet sweet voice pointed out, pulling me back to reality.

My vision drifted back to my free miso ramen soup with extra pork, made especially for me in honor of my heroic actions. I turned to face my dear friend, a girl who's always admired me, stunning pearl orbs locking with ocean blue. A light blush spread across her pale cheeks, turning my light smile into my famous grin.

"Sorry Hinata. I kind of doze of for a second there," I admitted my guilt, adding a light nervous laugh.

"I-It's okay Naruto-kun," Hinata replied with a warm smile.

That smile was simply heartwarming. Of course, there is a certain smile that has always been deeply carved in my heart and mind. A violent, pink haired Kunoichi. My first female best friend and my first love. My feelings for that girl have been content since I first laid eyes on her captivating beauty. Why am I thinking of her now, in front of Hinata? It was I who asked the Hyuga heiress to accompany me to dinner at Ichiraku's, yet my mind only sees the hot-headed girl from Team 7.
Hinata is probably going to hate me after tonight, but my answer is so clear that it's unavoidable, irreplaceable.

"Hinata," I began, glancing back at my untouched ramen, my voice suddenly serious. "I'm aware of your feelings for me. I know how much you truly love me now…"

This sudden straight forward start caught the girl's attention, freezing her in silence as she gave me full attention.

"You've done so much for me and even put your life on the line for my safety. You've acknowledged and encouraged me at your best when I needed it. Hinata, I would definitely love you back," I confessed, glancing up from my cold dinner to look her in the eyes.

Hinata was quiet, her face flushed from my sudden out burst, but I saw in her expression that she knew I was not done with my confession.

"I would definitely love you and I have thought about it countless of times after the war, you and I together. As much as I tried, I don't want to be unfair to you. I don't want to hurt you because I know where my feelings lie," I continued, my voice fading towards my last sentence.

A light smile appeared on her heart broken face. It pained me seeing her expression, now realizing where I'm headed on this conversation and why I asked her out for dinner. Her brows furrowed as her glassy pearl orbs focused on me, failing to look away as I spoke honestly.

"Hinata, I can't get Sakura off of my mind, to be honest… I've always loved her and even though her heart was taken by Sasuke, I couldn't stop no matter how much I tried. It started with a crush and without even knowing, I realized I love her. Even though I should love you for all you've done, I just can't do that to you knowing I can't return your feelings, but only acknowledge and appreciate them. I-I haven't even confessed to Sakura-chan yet… Taking you out to dinner and confessing the truth was the only way I can settle this down the best way I can. Hinata, you may hate me from now on… I'm sorry," I finished, not even daring to take my eyes off her crushed expression that slowly sank back down to her half eaten bowl of ramen.

There was a long period of silence, the once cheerful atmosphere changing into something melancholy. Finally, Hinata's trembling lips parted to speak.

"W-What are you waiting for Naruto-kun?" she managed to ask in a shaky voice.

"H-Huh?" I questioned, a bit confused, raising a brow.

"Y-You said you haven't properly confessed to Sakura, right? Well, go. G-Go find her Naruto-kun and tell her how you feel. I won't hate you… I could never. T-Thank you for this, for dinner and for your honesty. Thank you!" Hinata said, glancing at me once more with a cheerful smile.

My head lowered, unsure if the smile was forced or true but I did know for certain Hinata meant well. I nodded in response and quickly dug my hand inside the pocket of my pants, grabbing the wad of the cash to pay for our dinner. Placing it on the table, I bid Hinata goodbye, flashing her a genuine smile before running off into the night.

 

[Fanta]

You're an amazing writer, no joke =D I got feels off of this!

Can't wait for the next chapter xD

Listening to ridin' dirty while reading this :vision:

 

[Atalaya]

Woh ' 0'
I'm a fan of Sasusaku but I think your writing is awesome ;D

 

[~Zonta~]

Why ???? Why ???? Noooo

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Don't leave a cliff hanger give me the second chapter

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Overall :
Wow wow great read ...... its super

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Loved reading it and man the way you portrayed the situations its felt real as I am watching the two of them talk. =D
Amazing its just great work and superb skills. :bouncy: Plus rep and a thank you along with a fan

 

[P3ĮÑ]

I loved this,, it was amazing

 

[Reborn]

I'm a heavy NaruHina and I mean heavy. Though I'm an advocate for the paring I look at the situation a little more objectively based on the context of the story.

I'm a believer in that there should be that pair though I don't necessarily believe it will occur. The reason why I like the NaruHina pair is irrelevant to your story though. My reasoning for why I think NaruSaku is likely to happen (or how it would happen if it did) is relevant because it's almost identical to how you portrayed it.

Before I get into that little detail, I'll convey my areas of dislike in this chapter and the way you're going about writing this series from my perspective. Now I like how this appears to be a series that's being split into the differing perspectives of characters. You start out having it from Naruto's perspective from a specific event and I assume you'll be doing the same event next chapter only from Hinata's view point (that's my reader prediction anyway). Though the issue with that is, when you're telling a story from a character's perspective you need to write it in a way that fits the character. in an OF you have more mobility to make that character the way you want but since this is an FF based on already existing characters, you are already given somewhat of a guide or, limitation, as to what you can do with the character.

You have great descriptive skills and you show that. Problem is, you make a rather goofy character sound too poetic and intense. Naruto is a very passionate character, don't get me wrong, though this is a light of him that isn't really seen in the series. Yes this is fiction but you're basing it off of another series. To make it more enjoyable you'd want to capture the true character. Naruto is a little to sophisticated in thought with this one, even for when he's actually serious.

As well, I'm personally not feeling the true change of Hinata's character as for what we've seen in the manga. She's become a little more confident in herself yet from the way I'm reading there's a little too much of the shyness of her still apparent. You use the dashes a lot which indicates repetition for the sake of the uncertainty of her speech.

Other than the capture of character, in my view, you have written a good chapter and have begun an interesting series. Onto my view of the plot of the story, I like it. As I said, I view the likelihood of NaruSaku happening in a similar way as you've began to portray here. Naruto has come to recognize and understand the feelings of Hinata. He knows full well that she loves him and that he has been the one to inspire her and has always admired him. Hinata has based her entire career as a shinobi to becoming strong like Naruto, not only for her own sake because he's an inspiration, but because she wanted to be strong enough to protect him. People for NaruSaku sometimes tend to move along the lines that Hinata's admiration for Naruto was somewhat selfish but I don't believe that. I feel Hinata is truey appreciative of what Naruto has done for her (even though Naruto didn't know he did anything for her) and because of that she loved him and did for him. That is a strong reason as to why I like the NaruHina couple (and Hinata is fine as hell >_>). However, Naruto has always had the one tract mind for Sakura. Before, his like for Sakura was just as Sakura's feelings for Sasuke, it started as a crush. The team bonds grew stronger and genuine care and affection came into the mix. Though Sakura never truly did anything for Naruto as one could argue Hinata has, it's the same way as with Sakura and Sasuke. Sakura is one tract on Sasuke. Though because of the main hero and heroin roles, and Sakura's character being dynamic in her feelings with Naruto, I feel as though the NaruSaku would happen. Naruto can't get Sakura out of his mind, yet Sakura has grown to develop some sort of feelings for Naruto. Before there was nothing and now there's something. None of the other members of Team 7 have had that sort of change in regards to their feelings.

To that extent though, I feel, since Sakura's feelings changed, Naruto's could too for Hinata (though that's neither here nor there). Objectively speaking I feel as though Naruto's feelings as to why he'd choose Sakura have been captured with this chapter. I look forward to seeing how Sakura's character and feelings would be shaped in this respect later on.

 

[thatsAslap7]

I'm a heavy NaruHina and I mean heavy. Though I'm an advocate for the paring I look at the situation a little more objectively based on the context of the story.

I'm a believer in that there should be that pair though I don't necessarily believe it will occur. The reason why I like the NaruHina pair is irrelevant to your story though. My reasoning for why I think NaruSaku is likely to happen (or how it would happen if it did) is relevant because it's almost identical to how you portrayed it.

Before I get into that little detail, I'll convey my areas of dislike in this chapter and the way you're going about writing this series from my perspective. Now I like how this appears to be a series that's being split into the differing perspectives of characters. You start out having it from Naruto's perspective from a specific event and I assume you'll be doing the same event next chapter only from Hinata's view point (that's my reader prediction anyway). Though the issue with that is, when you're telling a story from a character's perspective you need to write it in a way that fits the character. in an OF you have more mobility to make that character the way you want but since this is an FF based on already existing characters, you are already given somewhat of a guide or, limitation, as to what you can do with the character.

You have great descriptive skills and you show that. Problem is, you make a rather goofy character sound too poetic and intense. Naruto is a very passionate character, don't get me wrong, though this is a light of him that isn't really seen in the series. Yes this is fiction but you're basing it off of another series. To make it more enjoyable you'd want to capture the true character. Naruto is a little to sophisticated in thought with this one, even for when he's actually serious.

As well, I'm personally not feeling the true change of Hinata's character as for what we've seen in the manga. She's become a little more confident in herself yet from the way I'm reading there's a little too much of the shyness of her still apparent. You use the dashes a lot which indicates repetition for the sake of the uncertainty of her speech.

Other than the capture of character, in my view, you have written a good chapter and have begun an interesting series. Onto my view of the plot of the story, I like it. As I said, I view the likelihood of NaruSaku happening in a similar way as you've began to portray here. Naruto has come to recognize and understand the feelings of Hinata. He knows full well that she loves him and that he has been the one to inspire her and has always admired him. Hinata has based her entire career as a shinobi to becoming strong like Naruto, not only for her own sake because he's an inspiration, but because she wanted to be strong enough to protect him. People for NaruSaku sometimes tend to move along the lines that Hinata's admiration for Naruto was somewhat selfish but I don't believe that. I feel Hinata is truey appreciative of what Naruto has done for her (even though Naruto didn't know he did anything for her) and because of that she loved him and did for him. That is a strong reason as to why I like the NaruHina couple (and Hinata is fine as hell >_>). However, Naruto has always had the one tract mind for Sakura. Before, his like for Sakura was just as Sakura's feelings for Sasuke, it started as a crush. The team bonds grew stronger and genuine care and affection came into the mix. Though Sakura never truly did anything for Naruto as one could argue Hinata has, it's the same way as with Sakura and Sasuke. Sakura is one tract on Sasuke. Though because of the main hero and heroin roles, and Sakura's character being dynamic in her feelings with Naruto, I feel as though the NaruSaku would happen. Naruto can't get Sakura out of his mind, yet Sakura has grown to develop some sort of feelings for Naruto. Before there was nothing and now there's something. None of the other members of Team 7 have had that sort of change in regards to their feelings.

To that extent though, I feel, since Sakura's feelings changed, Naruto's could too for Hinata (though that's neither here nor there). Objectively speaking I feel as though Naruto's feelings as to why he'd choose Sakura have been captured with this chapter. I look forward to seeing how Sakura's character and feelings would be shaped in this respect later on.

Wow. Thank you for taking your time on this. I appreciate your review!
I'll do my best to respond to all you have pointed out. Let's get started.

Your remarks about the characters being "out of character" is helpful. It's good you know their personalities but I did not write this carelessly (well... half asleep and listening to rap music doesn't really help me on that point but sill).
We all know Naruto is a goofball but yet we've seen him develop greatly, yes? He's now grown to the point where he knows when to be serious and when not to be. This event took place not too long after the war so it would be understandable if our Hero isn't fully back to his goofball self, correct? With all the turn of events and the death of uncountable ninjas who risked their lives, it's completely reasonable why Naruto is the way he is now, spacing out and all.

Naruto understands Hinata's feelings for him completely. The thought of the times she's encouraged him and risked her life for him took his considerations for her into a whole new level. He spent plenty of time thinking about what he should do and how to handle the situation, realizing no matter how much he tried, he cannot easily forget his first love. He hasn't even confessed to Sakura so how would he move on properly even if he decided to?

You said Naruto sounded too poetic and intense but really, he was just completely laying his feelings down for Hinata. You also mentioned that Naruto's feelings for Hinata might of changed now too, in the series, and this is how it's shown. The way he looked at her and openly spoke to her shows how much appreciation he has for the Hyuga girl. He even tried to think about a future with the two of them together but admitted his defeat that he is unable to forget Sakura. Taking his confession to Hinata seriously without being a goofball shows the grown up Naruto. It also shows how serious he's taking Hinata's feelings for him, knowing that he can no longer avoid her love and has to face it.
An author can only do so much and describe the best he/she can to lay out the mood/tone of the story but it comes down to the readers how they want to view the scene. It's how you played it in your head that made it sound too poetic/intense for you.

I know Hinata's character has matured as well. I know she blossomed out of her shyness but if you're in the middle of a war, there's no time to hesitate or stutter. We have seen that confident side of Hinata during a war but this scene is different from the battlefield. Hinata is finally having a dinner date with her first love, the man she has always wanted to be beside. Of course she's going to stutter and blush. You've compared two irrelevant scenes that made you assume Hinata was written a bit out of character.

I highly respect your love for NaruHina, as I was a former fan of the two but grew more love and support for NaruSaku. You admitting Hinata's hotness kind of made me laugh too, by the way. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I actually haven't tried writing a FanFic in years. I mean years. Seeing parts of your comments that were positive about the story encouraged me so I thank you. I also apologize for taking a while to reply to your review. I'm quite lazy. ^^"

 

[Reborn]

Holy Father Caliburn, master of wallies .-. *huh, 2:45 am and I'm still awake lol*

Okay so I read the entire reply and I'll first say you're welcome since I saw like three or four 'thank yous' in there (or I could be seeing things...I prefer the former). Since I am a little tired and I only logged on for a little bit of check up I'm too tired to hit all your points but I'll say you're a rather well thought out writer with your work. Though I still feel some ways about the things I've commented on, I can see where you come from in your writing of this chapter and I concur that this was not a carelessly written work.

Also, contrary to the norm, I'm a NaruHina who doesn't hate the very existence of Sakura Haruno. I'll color myself a guy who likes to read manga/watch anime of the romance genre. I like most genres of anime and the whole Naru<insert female counterpart here> match ups are amongst my favorite. I've considered a lot of match ups for Naruto (I'm a real big harem guy...so sue me I'm a guy) so I know this would be something I'd like to continue on reading if you are going to continue it. I look forward to the development of the story.

 

[thatsAslap7]

Holy Father Caliburn, master of wallies .-. *huh, 2:45 am and I'm still awake lol*

Okay so I read the entire reply and I'll first say you're welcome since I saw like three or four 'thank yous' in there (or I could be seeing things...I prefer the former). Since I am a little tired and I only logged on for a little bit of check up I'm too tired to hit all your points but I'll say you're a rather well thought out writer with your work. Though I still feel some ways about the things I've commented on, I can see where you come from in your writing of this chapter and I concur that this was not a carelessly written work.

Also, contrary to the norm, I'm a NaruHina who doesn't hate the very existence of Sakura Haruno. I'll color myself a guy who likes to read manga/watch anime of the romance genre. I like most genres of anime and the whole Naru<insert female counterpart here> match ups are amongst my favorite. I've considered a lot of match ups for Naruto (I'm a real big harem guy...so sue me I'm a guy) so I know this would be something I'd like to continue on reading if you are going to continue it. I look forward to the development of the story.

I'm sorry, it was also late when I replied to your review. I wanted to add on Hinata's part. I forgot to mention that when she starts speaking towards the end, it wasn't much stuttering she was doing but more like trembling as she spoke, trying to contain herself. She's truly caring towards Naruto and wants him to be happy no matter what of course but she's still a girl with a broken heart. Sorry to leave that part out.

Though you've mentioned that you're a heavy NaruHina, I never thought for a second you were the ones who hate Sakura, seeing that you've read my FF and reviewed it. You're mature, I know that. Haha, I understand. Thank you for sharing some facts about yourself. It made me smile actually. Please do look forward for the next chapter I will start when... Er, I'm not lazy. ^^"

 

[Reborn]

I'm sorry, it was also late when I replied to your review. I wanted to add on Hinata's part. I forgot to mention that when she starts speaking towards the end, it wasn't much stuttering she was doing but more like trembling as she spoke, trying to contain herself. She's truly caring towards Naruto and wants him to be happy no matter what of course but she's still a girl with a broken heart. Sorry to leave that part out.

Though you've mentioned that you're a heavy NaruHina, I never thought for a second you were the ones who hate Sakura, seeing that you've read my FF and reviewed it. You're mature, I know that. Haha, I understand. Thank you for sharing some facts about yourself. It made me smile actually. Please do look forward for the next chapter I will start when... Er, I'm not lazy. ^^"

Psh, who has the time not to be lazy. I'm in the same boat, but I'm in the process of using it in a rather unorthodox manor. Being so lazy that I don't want to have to do things so I do stuff early so I don't have to do it later. It's anti-procrastination which is actually not lazy...but it is...idk >_> still trying to uhh...work that logic out. Lol

I'll keep my eyes out for your next couple of chapters. I'm on a weekly schedule with my own FFs so I need to finish those now so I don't have to do them...well...later .-.

 

[pandu]

Wow it's a nice chap.I am a naru saku fan
Link me the next chap. =D

 

[sanninuto]

great story bro

 

[KellBell101]

That's awesome! Your style of writing captured my attention! I definitely can't wait for the next chapter! XD

Good job, thatsAslap7!