Ok. I suck in expressing my feelings, but hear me out.
She was my teacher, an annoying one.
And she always embarrassed me in front of everyone.
I once got into a fight, and immediately received detention.
She called my parents and I know she had only done that for attention.
Every step I took, she was there lurking for a mistake.
And slowly by slowly I became real scared of her appearance alone.
I did not like her in fact I wanted her to be gone.
But not realizing I became a teen brat while I raised my tone.
--
She and I argued a lot, but in every single argument she always won.
Just like giving difficult unprepared tests and succeeding for more embarrassment.
She angered me a lot, but she always seemed to enjoy that.
And in my final year her dream came true she became my mentor and soak for a very long chat.
She talked about how I was crossing the wrong path.
Embarrassing me in front of my parents.
But I could care less and argument back, wishing her the death.
..
During my final exams I felt so happier than ever.
I was glad that I would have to leave school and especially her.
But then she became ill. Her back started to ache.
And her ribs were aching, her body wasn't stable enough.
She said she couldn't breath and cried in the middle of our class.
Without realizing it I praying for her pain to be gone.
From a distance I stared. I could feel my legs shivering.
Tears flowed down her cheeks and everyone surrounded her.
'Calm down..' -- 'Should I get you some water' -- 'Are you Ok'.
Words were flying by, while I stand where is stood.
Everything I've wished for I wished I never had said.
I softly cried from a distance while I looked her right into her eyes.
Many of my friends disliked her like myself.
Many made fun of her "fake" illness and laughed behind her back.
But I could not worrying, though I was the one who fed my group with those lies.
Deep inside, I did not hate her. Deep inside I cared.
Months later she was confronted with bone cancer.
Her health went backwards and she wasn't stable anymore.
Never did I felt so sad when I graduated without her looking for aside.
But I kept it all inside, I faked my smile and I act as if I was happy.
And slowly I forgot about her.. Till she died, last week:
Friday September 26th.
And memories came all up and tears were showing again.
I felt like little child, crying for days in papa's arms.
Truly I felt no shame at all. While most of my friends still didn't care.
I was happy I have shared a bond with her, though it was all stubbornness and more babysitting.
I'm happy I got to know her.
Two long years you've been fighting against it. A strong woman.
I miss talking with you, I miss those times. I wish I was more gentle.
I wish I at least could of said .. Goodbye. T_T
I knew her time was not much, I knew she was ill.
But never had she amaze me enough with her strong will.
I think she knew her time was almost done and yet began to act.
She told me how great she felt but her last breath left a deep impact.
-
But never had she amaze me enough with her strong will.
I think she knew her time was almost done and yet began to act.
She told me how great she felt but her last breath left a deep impact.
-
She was my teacher, an annoying one.
And she always embarrassed me in front of everyone.
I once got into a fight, and immediately received detention.
She called my parents and I know she had only done that for attention.
Every step I took, she was there lurking for a mistake.
And slowly by slowly I became real scared of her appearance alone.
I did not like her in fact I wanted her to be gone.
But not realizing I became a teen brat while I raised my tone.
--
She and I argued a lot, but in every single argument she always won.
Just like giving difficult unprepared tests and succeeding for more embarrassment.
She angered me a lot, but she always seemed to enjoy that.
And in my final year her dream came true she became my mentor and soak for a very long chat.
She talked about how I was crossing the wrong path.
Embarrassing me in front of my parents.
But I could care less and argument back, wishing her the death.
..
During my final exams I felt so happier than ever.
I was glad that I would have to leave school and especially her.
But then she became ill. Her back started to ache.
And her ribs were aching, her body wasn't stable enough.
She said she couldn't breath and cried in the middle of our class.
Without realizing it I praying for her pain to be gone.
From a distance I stared. I could feel my legs shivering.
Tears flowed down her cheeks and everyone surrounded her.
'Calm down..' -- 'Should I get you some water' -- 'Are you Ok'.
Words were flying by, while I stand where is stood.
Everything I've wished for I wished I never had said.
I softly cried from a distance while I looked her right into her eyes.
Many of my friends disliked her like myself.
Many made fun of her "fake" illness and laughed behind her back.
But I could not worrying, though I was the one who fed my group with those lies.
Deep inside, I did not hate her. Deep inside I cared.
Months later she was confronted with bone cancer.
Her health went backwards and she wasn't stable anymore.
Never did I felt so sad when I graduated without her looking for aside.
But I kept it all inside, I faked my smile and I act as if I was happy.
And slowly I forgot about her.. Till she died, last week:
Friday September 26th.
And memories came all up and tears were showing again.
I felt like little child, crying for days in papa's arms.
Truly I felt no shame at all. While most of my friends still didn't care.
I was happy I have shared a bond with her, though it was all stubbornness and more babysitting.
I'm happy I got to know her.
Two long years you've been fighting against it. A strong woman.
I miss talking with you, I miss those times. I wish I was more gentle.
I wish I at least could of said .. Goodbye. T_T
Rest In Peace, P. v/d Assen.
