Better than Naruto?!?!?!

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So, i'm in grade 11 now and I am thinking on creating an idea for a new anamtion. It will be like Naruto/Bleach/Avatar/One piece... kind of a fusion of all of them (Hopefully better than all of them as well!!!)...

I have started wrighting some ideas for it and I would like to share my best one yet. If you could please read and give me feedback on anything I could improve or implament into the story... THANKS! <3

The year is 3013.After the comet storm in 2012 all 8 planets in the solar system broke up into floating masses, which later became called planets again- even though they were only a fraction of the planets original size. The solar system now had a total of 29 planets. The heat of the mother comet somehow managed to create atmospheres of breathable oxygen around 23 of the 29 planets.

The 6 planets with no atmosphere were labelled as forbidden, and were a breeding ground for horrible things. The entire population of Europe managed to survive along with some Australians. The chain like structure of the planets enabled humans to inhabit them with little ease. Although the information on how they did this was lost in the great war of Spek- named after the planet that started it.

The planets in order from largest to smallest are named; Yoojup, Spek, Earth, Arhenium, Hoisey, Nevup, Goidra, Josel, Fundok, Lihaya, Tuyoi, Ezer, Besfa, Nej, Miosu, Asdey, Ulonu, Gaia, Jumbes, Oiprodi, Yanjey, Sauli and Saurum. The bridges in-between the planets remain intact today, they were built by the geniuses that lived on Saurum- the smallest of the planets, probably only the size of a large school.

Me, my brother and my mother live on Gaia, a planet renowned for its healers and magical enchanters. Gaia was named after the god Gaia, who was practically Mother Nature herself. My father died during the great war of Spek. So for some reason me and my family aren’t allowed to set foot on Spek anymore.

I was told that my father was a great influence on the war, although I never knew quite what he did exactly. Maybe it was his success in the war that caused the Spekians to lose? No one knew on Gaia, it was kept secret from us. The only place with records on the war was Lihaya, me and my brother wanted to go there one day and learn the truth of what really happened.

My brother had this weird marking on his arm, and when he got mad or upset it started glowing green. He was said to have the strongest of the healing powers on Gaia- he just hadn’t awakened them yet. As for me I had no special powers. I was just a plain old Gaian. But I had noticed how quick I seemed to heal. No one else on our planet had powers like these; all their powers came from casting spells and creating spell tags. Me and my brother’s were a part of us somehow.

Oh and if you’re wondering how ordinary humans had powers now, it’s because of the comet storm that broke up the original 8 planets. Since the electromagnetic field on Earth got destroyed cosmic radiation was able to affect the genetics of humans. 90% of the surviving people died from it, while the other 10% adapted to the radiation through the process of natural selection. The now ‘mutated’ people then went on to inhabit the other Inhabitable planets.


Thankyou soooooo much if you read it. I know it's a lot of words (not really though) but please read if you didn't!!! xd

Feedback??? :flaw:
 

Noxito

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this reminds me more of heroes or the 4400.... And btw fusioning these 4 elements will not work well
 

Whitefang0908

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Wow! What an interesting story! I wish u will make more:D
 

~Puppet Master~

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Don't fuse the four, do something original.
I read it and I like it, but work on your grammar/spelling xD
 

Punk Hazard

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When it's animated/done, we can determine if it's better. Right now, there's no plot, theme, characters or conflict. All we have is a setting. We can't judge on that.
 

The Western Wheel

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Spek = bacon in dutch. Bacon wars! Anyhow.... anything can work, if the artwork is intriguing enough
 

teravita9

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Yep seems legit...
You must be registered for see images


do not make the same...do something new.
That is what brings sucess.
 
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Desmodus

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Sorry, but it´s a complete mish-mash.

First of all, work on your grammar and storytelling: "... mother live on Gaia ..., Gaia was named after the god Gaia". Hell to the no.

Also, ry something different and unique - read a lot of books and you will have the idea. You can create your own world, but make it somewhat special! (For example, look at Terry Pratchett´s works or Neil Gaiman´s - they´ve taken something, but their mixture is composed well).

Also, doesn´t make your character too OP - frankly, I hate it. So strong, so intelligent.. but don´t make him SO dumb and inconsistent (*takes a quick glance at Naruto*).

The last book I´ve read was about Hitler taking control of hell. Heh, pretty weird stuff.
 
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