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Yerrina

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''Young man'' is used a number of times, to emphasize his youth and energy, and you added information about him being ''blonde'' and "sorrowful, yet dedicated" in the following paragraphs. The more we read in this story, the more information we get, and we progress in the journey, like him, and since he's young and it's a journey, I made the assumption that he's got a long way go till he reaches his goal when he's old or something, at least that was the primary assumption.

Then comes the generous usage of ''travelling man'', where the gerund emphasizes the present, and eventually, the man is rendered a "fallen hero"; exalted as a hero, but no longer lofty.

English isn't my first language too but, shouldn't it be "ON the handle" rather than "IN the handle of the samurai sword he had equipped"?

My favourite part is how you tricked us into thinking all was going well when you showed us that even Nature is smoothing his journey out and looking after him, " the sun arranged an array of friendly shadows through the trees that protected the wandering man " and "beautiful spring clouds that had followed him from the beginning of his journey"

And once "The traveling man was losing hope", the TONE changes, and his worlds starts falling apart, and the description of how the forest is slowing falling into darkness foreshadows the approach of the dark aura of his brother.

The similarities you outlined between them was to create a foil, how life has treated them differently, but while one is indifferent(or at least that's what I think since there's no description of his feelings), the other is consumed by 'Hatred [of himself] and Despair".

The word FALLEN Hero just reminded me of tragedy, and this story is parallel to the format of a tragedy in some ways. The character's tragic flaw, his inability to help his brother, has caused his death [metaphorical death], which is usually how tragedies go.
 

sG Taka

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''Young man'' is used a number of times, to emphasize his youth and energy, and you added information about him being ''blonde'' and "sorrowful, yet dedicated" in the following paragraphs. The more we read in this story, the more information we get, and we progress in the journey, like him, and since he's young and it's a journey, I made the assumption that he's got a long way go till he reaches his goal when he's old or something, at least that was the primary assumption.

Then comes the generous usage of ''travelling man'', where the gerund emphasizes the present, and eventually, the man is rendered a "fallen hero"; exalted as a hero, but no longer lofty.

English isn't my first language too but, shouldn't it be "ON the handle" rather than "IN the handle of the samurai sword he had equipped"?

My favourite part is how you tricked us into thinking all was going well when you showed us that even Nature is smoothing his journey out and looking after him, " the sun arranged an array of friendly shadows through the trees that protected the wandering man " and "beautiful spring clouds that had followed him from the beginning of his journey"

And once "The traveling man was losing hope", the TONE changes, and his worlds starts falling apart, and the description of how the forest is slowing falling into darkness foreshadows the approach of the dark aura of his brother.

The similarities you outlined between them was to create a foil, how life has treated them differently, but while one is indifferent(or at least that's what I think since there's no description of his feelings), the other is consumed by 'Hatred [of himself] and Despair".

The word FALLEN Hero just reminded me of tragedy, and this story is parallel to the format of a tragedy in some ways. The character's tragic flaw, his inability to help his brother, has caused his death [metaphorical death], which is usually how tragedies go.
Bold: Glad it was :]

This analysis is really good, I really enjoy when people read with this much depth. Thank you for reading and providing insightful feedback, thanks ;]
 
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