JStar King
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I need an opinion on this story. I'm going to try and not make this long. This story is supposed to be fuc*ed up and I'm already working on the Copyright. This is the horrible truth about my protagonist in the story: ARCH ENEMY. Give me some constructive criticism please. If you have any questions, please ask.
After the death of her husband, Overlord Takashi Mitsu, Queen Elena and their five year old son, Prince Castor escaped to her secluded clan village. Elena's clan, the Tsuna Clan, welcomed her back by beating her and her son until they were battered in blood and bruises. Apparently, years before Elena married Takashi and became a queen, she was a proud member of the legendary and feared clan of assassins. Elena was ridiculed for wanting to leave and explore the world she was secluded from. It was forbidden for members to leave unless they had the Memory Seal, which erased their memories of the clan permanently forever.
Elena left and the elders of the Tsuna ordered her younger brother, Devin, and his best friend, Ren, to either kill her or give her the Memory Seal. But there was a twist. To teach Elena a lesson, the elders secretly ordered Ren to kill Devin to send her that message that there would always be consequences. And he killed Devin, his best friend, without remorse. Elena was able to beat Ren in a fit of rage and forced him to run before she could kill him.
Ren had become the leader two years later and now, he saw an opportunity to make Elena suffer. He quieted anyone who spoke about him lying to the elders that he had placed the seal on her that day. The Tsuna Clan wanted both Elena and Castor to be executed, but Ren dropped the charges, because he was the supreme ruler of the clan. He told Elena that if she obeyed his words and married him, he would grant her protection from those who were responsible for murdering her late husband in cold blood. Elena had no choice, but to accept for she was terrified and wanted to protect her child.
Ren promised her that he would convince the council to brand Castor and make him a Junior Elite, which is given to children at five years old, who start the Agoge process within the clan at this age. But he was hiding something dark and twisted. Castor was lead to the elders' council hall and was brutally raped and molested by them. Ren had also participated in the rape. He threatened Castor stating that if he told Elena about it, he would execute them both. Castor was then branded with the clan's symbol as he was sexually assaulted.
The rape and molestation continued over the next seven years as Castor trained to become an assassin. Although, the clan hated him and saw him as a worthless half breed. The clan took every bit of innocence from him and now, he's left with scars he cannot heal. This was the price he had to pay.
Elena left and the elders of the Tsuna ordered her younger brother, Devin, and his best friend, Ren, to either kill her or give her the Memory Seal. But there was a twist. To teach Elena a lesson, the elders secretly ordered Ren to kill Devin to send her that message that there would always be consequences. And he killed Devin, his best friend, without remorse. Elena was able to beat Ren in a fit of rage and forced him to run before she could kill him.
Ren had become the leader two years later and now, he saw an opportunity to make Elena suffer. He quieted anyone who spoke about him lying to the elders that he had placed the seal on her that day. The Tsuna Clan wanted both Elena and Castor to be executed, but Ren dropped the charges, because he was the supreme ruler of the clan. He told Elena that if she obeyed his words and married him, he would grant her protection from those who were responsible for murdering her late husband in cold blood. Elena had no choice, but to accept for she was terrified and wanted to protect her child.
Ren promised her that he would convince the council to brand Castor and make him a Junior Elite, which is given to children at five years old, who start the Agoge process within the clan at this age. But he was hiding something dark and twisted. Castor was lead to the elders' council hall and was brutally raped and molested by them. Ren had also participated in the rape. He threatened Castor stating that if he told Elena about it, he would execute them both. Castor was then branded with the clan's symbol as he was sexually assaulted.
The rape and molestation continued over the next seven years as Castor trained to become an assassin. Although, the clan hated him and saw him as a worthless half breed. The clan took every bit of innocence from him and now, he's left with scars he cannot heal. This was the price he had to pay.
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