[Discussion] Anybody else suffer like this?

[24 12 11 to troll]

Expectation. Being incredibly high...

I come from a family of "overachievers" so to speak. I'm intelligent but I still feel like i'm the weakest link in the family. I'm currently in my final year at GCSE's and the expectations from my parents are insurmountable.

Within my family:
All my Grandparents have masters degrees from major universities.
My father has a masters from Cambridge.
My mother has a masters from Warwick.
My older brother (he shares this account , to stop any confusion) got 9 of 11 GCSE's of grades B or above , and recently attained three A* A levels and one C.
My older Sister attained 10 GCSE's of Grades B or above (her other was an E)
And then there's me. I am capable of getting high grades , it is easily evident within my classwork and notes. However because of such high expectations I feel I put pressure on myself and worry of underachieving instead of being focused upon the exam or controlled assessment.

I'm not achieving anything spectacular but my parents seem disgusted by my lack of A*s and As... And because of this they genuinely punish me for working my ass off only to fear concequences of failing and then suffering from those concequences. My parents don't think I put the effort into my GCSE's , but I do. I simply cannot reach the mark.

Please don't say that I have little to no pressure compared to my elders. I do. I'm part of the next generation of adults that gets this planet out of the shit that my parents generation put us in.

Because the expectations are high and I cannot reach them , i feel even less likely to achieve the next time i'm in an exam room.

I probably worry way too much but even now at the start of year 11 (english term for 11th grade) i'm being made to do 3 hours of revision PER NIGHT. Then I have my homework and leaves just a little amount of time to read a manga chapter and post ONE thing on NB. Today it's resulted as this as i've had enough.

Anyone else suffer from high expectation? Anyone know a way to help me cope a bit more? (My parents won't change. As adults they THINK they know best)...

 

[Erin]

I can relate a little bit, but it's mostly internal in my case.

I don't have a solution =_=

 

[Punk Hazard]

Just make sure you do the best you can do. Don't let such high achievements that came before you hinder you. If you meet or exceed them, then that's great. But as long as you do the best you can do and apply yourself, then you've already won.

 

[Alice in Noodleland]

I think your parents feels like they failed on something ...and they wanted you to achieve it for them. That's how i see this scenario.



HOw old are you?

 

[~Hebi Terumi~]

Nope, no one in my family went to college (well actually, my grandma did and so did my dad, but he dropped out) and the only intelligent one is my dad. So, the expectations were never set high with me, though they expected me to go to college right after high school, but I chose not to. ( not on my list at the moment.)

I was a pretty average student in high school. I got mostly Bs and Cs, a few As, Ds, and Fs, but I would never consider me, or anyone who got those grades, dumb.

As for your dilemma, you need to sit down and discuss with your parents that you are trying your best and that they shouldn't look to you and undermine all that you've accomplished just because it doesn't meet their standards. You go to school to accomplish things and secure a better future for yourself, not them. They need to be reminded of that.

Just hope that they're open about all of this and if they love you, they will be.

 

[l S l Orochimaru]

well, from the point of view of a C's to mostly B's student in high school (im currently in college, 2nd year)...you seem to be doing a good job, ALL you have to do is have amazing self-esteem and amazing confidence...i cant stress that enough...because getting good grades are important,

but if you don't have a sense of who you are, but of what people expect of you...your not really being yourself...im telling you, i always feel like im not the smartest guy (probably accurate) but idk...because friends and family always say im a very smart, good support there...so ll i have to say is you not having A's is not the problem, your parents not letting you know you are doing better than 75% of your class is the problem..

 

[foxyladyland]

I don't like pressure . I don't deal well with it and I haven't . Expectations kinda suck . u_u I don't like them.
I get depressed.

 

[-Punk-]

Yes I can relate , i feel ya , all my life I've heard that im a leader , Smart , potential etc ...but i just don't see it , my brother & sister are the ones that are smart & I'm the weak one of the family & get this .....i'm the oldest Zzz.

 

[Sabuto Hayashi]

I had similar expectations, with my parents hoping that I'd get a stack of A grades and some of my teachers predicting A's in my subjects. In the end, I only got a single A grade in my GCSEs. The rests were high-B's and a few C's.

If you let the pressure bother you too much, you'll spend more time worrying about it during the exam rather than being calm and confident. It can hinder your full potential quite drastically because of the stress.

Do the best you can, even if you don't meet the expectations of those around you. Focus on getting better grades for subjects you enjoy and do well at; it won't matter if the rest are at least C's. So long as you've tried your best, there won't be any reason to feel depressed about it.

At the end of the day, you'll still have an equal chance at getting a job regardless of whether you have all C's or all A's. It only really matters if you're interested in university, but even that doesn't seem worth it nowadays with the increasing costs and degrees becoming a flimsy piece of paper.

 

[GOD2U]

There's two solutions:

1. Quit school. Its all pointless bullshit anyways.

2. Dont let the fear of failure or inadequacy overcome you. That's sasuke's problem and it won't get you ems. Realize grades dont mean anything about success or Intelligence. Being able to copy what a teacher writes and repeat it for a test gets you no where. Learn to enjoy life and learn life lessons through your mistakes.

I wish you the best.

 

[Ciao]

Its good for your parents to have high expectations for you but don't carry their weight on your shoulders. Stay in school and go to university and get a degree in something you'll enjoy doing. Live your life to your own standards, but don't forget your standards will change as you grow older and wiser.

 

[GreenTeaChloe]

I come from a family of under achievers. Lets just say my family doesn't have the same intellectual capabilities that I possessed. I worked very hard at school and am currently working on my masters degree in clinical psychology.

Which explained my absence from the base for 2-3 months or so.

So the pressure to succeed academically comes from within myself as ill be the first Doctor within and outside my family.

 

[Penguin]

Meh, my parents were complete dip shits, and all of their kids [my bro and sis] get A's and B'. My older half brother got real bad grades though. I cannot relate. :|

 

[Kishi Uzumaki]

Damn that pressure . i couldn't take it when i was young . how much you do they want more , more and more .
when i realized this i stop worrying about what they want instead i focused on what i want .
guess what one who was getting
lower grades begin to get more higher grades . you are far good than i was . do your best .
i think your parents must realize failures makes people stronger . if you always succeed when failure comes you get lost not knowing what to do .