I don't really know you, but I can say I don't hate you. Are you seeking validation through this thread? Maybe pity? You just need to be congruent to yourself. The internet is a hectic array of people with radically different life experiences, attitudes, and beliefs. Coupled with anonymity, it can be pretty brutal. As long as you are authentic you will eventually find people who appreciate you. It's impossible to stop negativity when you are putting yourself out there.