Age Differences

[Punk Hazard]

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I don't even know the meaning.

You know I'd high five you

 

[YowYan]

I went from dating girls 6 years older than me to a relationship with a girl 4/5 years younger ._. The age gap is a huge issue for me but my intentions are respectable so I allowed myself to be with her.

 

[Romezio]

So uh whats the problem again? We're still human regardless of age so i don't see how it's nasty and it's not like a 15 years old is innocent or anything so there's really no reason I can see why it'd be wrong if both parties agree to it without being forced.

 

[Kishi Uzumaki]

if i say it in a big picture view the problem for a younger guy that date or in relationship with a older woman/girl is that woman/girl will leave him if she find a older, mature guy . i think most of the time it will be a casual relationship that won't last for long and whatever the gender is ones younger than 18 will not be emotionally mature enough to have a good relationship ( statistics says girls mature emotionally around 22 and for a guy it's around 24 ).

 

[BanGinji]

The way sexuality is viewed At this point in society underage *** will be the norm.

*sigh*.. this... eventually.

 

[Dark Sonic]

You mean the other way around. The younger guys get compliments about dating older women. The older guys are viewed as disgusting pedophiles.

 

[Spitfire421]

As long as the relationship is legal and is between two consenting adults who care about each other, then why should age matter?

 

[Natsu Shazneel]

Is falling for a underaged anime chick illegal?

 

[Aim64C]

About two weeks ago my girl friends and I were driving away from school, I saw a boy I like and commented he was cute. My friend then gave me a look and told me I was weird because I liked a younger guy. Her sister is dating a 9th grader she Graduated from high school four years ago, she is around 7-8 years older than him. they guy I like is 15-16 and I am 17 and it made me think about couples. how when a girl is older than a guy it is seen as not okay but if the guy is older than the girl is okay. what do you guys think, what in your eyes is an okay age difference between couples? and does it matter if the girl or guy is older?

Generally speaking, women tend to become interested in men older than they are because older men tend to have a more stable emotional state, a more stable source of income, and can better represent 'security' than a guys their own age and younger can. Most women tend to go for the security in a relationship once they begin to develop into maturity.

That said, I have noticed that a lot of teenage girls, particularly today, go through a phase of being interested in younger guys. Usually, this is right around the late teens to early twenties. The reasons seem to be varied, but I generally find that girls going through this like to feel like they have a measure of authority over things in their life. It is also the case that many of them find a sort of security in the fact that the younger guy is still living in an environment she is familiar with. He's still in school, and by proxy, she still feels attached to the familiar lifestyle of being in school while being faced with the uncertainties that come from being an adult.

There are older women who do find relationships with younger men, although this can, interestingly, be driven more by a sense of adventure or excitement. Young men who are energetic and mildly possessive are attractive to some women who have grown more mild in their *** lives or who are facing the onset of aging. The young man is confirmation that they are still attractive and still desirable, as well - so it feeds back into a sort of security, as well.

As for your friend's sister - the relationship is not illegal unless *** is involved. Then it is categorized as statutory rape because a minor cannot legally give consent to *** with an adult. Even if it is consensual, it is illegal because the consent is legally invalid.

It's rarely ever claimed in cases of older woman and teenage boys, but it is something to keep in mind.

That said - there is nothing especially wrong with age differences - although I have noticed that relationships that bridge the 20-22 year age range tend to be bad ideas. Someone who is over that age typically has developed a very different set of life goals and priorities. Someone under that age is still, for the most part, a child and has a child's perspective of the world. That isn't meant to be derogatory - it's just that life 'outside the box' is a lot different than what it looks like while you are still stuck inside the 'box' known as school.

For example - I had a relationship with a girl that spanned that age range. While she understood that what I was trying to offer her was something she should want and even something she did want - it didn't quite process in her world and self view of things. The idea of having someone to welcome you home and split bills and/or chores with isn't nearly as important to a girl who still has yet to live life alone and realize that it can really suck. Nor has she been woken up at 3 in the morning by the cops because some room mate or another did something retarded and got the police involved.

When you have to put up with that kind of stuff, the idea of pairing up with a child becomes less ideal. He may have some spending money he's put together working a part time job after school, or something, but he can't really pay the bills (yet, and should really learn to pay his own before she starts footing the bill for his living expenses - without his own exposure to reality, he's likely to just take for granted any sustenance she can provide, just as he likely does with his parents). He isn't going to be as effective at counseling through substantial life changes as an older man who has already been through those transitions can, and he, himself, is potentially prone to some erratic emotional conditions as he encounters his own issues.

It doesn't work well from either side of the coin in most of what I've seen.

Now - it may work out fine in their case, and I don't want to spread doubt or fear on their relationship. It's just that I would expect those to be the types of hurdles they will have to clear as a couple to be able to make it work in the long run. He can't just go from nursing off of his mother's tit to nursing off of his girlfriend's (unless that's what she wants - in which case, she's quite the interesting sheila), and she can't necessarily expect the kind of emotional support that other women more commonly find in relationships with older guys - at least not until he, himself, has matured considerably more.

That said, my parents were 20 years apart. My mom was in her 20s when she met my father. The two were married until she passed away from cancer after being married for over 20 years. They really loved each other and took care of each other. Well - technically, they were still married after that - and my father went for a little over two years before he passed away, as well.

My general advice is "any relationship in which at least one person is still in school and/or has never paid his or her own utility bills is one which should be considered a 'learning experience' that is likely to end with both individuals being sore."

 

[EnderWolf1013]

If they're 15 and you're 17, the only real is maturity.