A Whole New World

Faith

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A Whole New World


Author's note
This is my very first Fanfiction so hope you guys will give me a chance and considering the fact some of you might not like it but i hope you guys will give me some tips so i could improve better and better. I would like to thanks RokuNR because i got inspired because of his FF too epic xd hope i won't make any grammar mistakes / errors. Thank you

I decided to reveal a little of my FF so you guys will roughly get the idea/story, The story of my FF is set 10 years after current manga time. Character details(such as name/power) and description will revealed as the chapter goes on. That's all :) hopefully you guys will have good time reading.



Chapter 1 : Akatsuki Rising Again?!



*Knock, Knock*

Naruto was in his office eating ramen while stamping some document while Shikamaru was standing beside him..


Naruto:Aww..! With these bunch of paper document i couldn't even have time to finish my lunch in peace! *pissed face*

Shikamaru: Calm down Naruto, this is the Hokage job so don't complain too much.

Suddenly footsteps was heard and...

*Knock,Knock*
The door opened while a tall guy with red hair and wearing a mask is standing there...


Anbu: Hokage-sama ! We just receive a letter from the Mizukage!

Shikamaru walks up toward the Anbu and took the letter...

Shikamaru: *Reads* We have receive newest information and movement about the Akatsuki So I The Mizukage Mei Terumi hereby inviting all the Kages to a meeting in Kirigakure in 5 days time to have a discussion on how to deal with the Akatsuki once and for all.

Naruto: Looks like we have to head out to Kirigakure immediately!

Naruto: Anbu, I want you to inform the village that me and few selected ninja will be attending the Kages meeting in 5 days time, Further details will be updated to them later..

Anbu:Right away Hokage-sama! *Disappears with a poof and a little cloud of smoke hanging in the air*.

Naruto: Shikamaru, I'm thinking should bring 3 other along for this meeting..

Shikamaru: That will be a good idea, But who do you had in mind?

? : Yo!

Shikamaru: Kakashi Sensei ! *In surprise tone*

Kakashi: Look like there's some troublesome meeting you have to attend to..

Naruto: Yes but as long it is related to Akatsuki, I don't mind... They have been hiding over this 10 years yet they're making a new move at this momemnt.. something just tell me this time it will be much more serious then the previous '' war '' we had.

Shikamaru: Since you're leaving the village.. then who will be in-charge here?

Naruto: I'm been thinking abut '' her '' since she is most suitable person I can think of and she is one of the person I trust the most.

Shikamaru: Sakura?

Naruto: Yes.... Kakashi Sensei could you bring Sakura and Sasuke here? Thank you...

Kakashi: Right away!

Shikamaru: Why did you call out Sasuke?

Naruto: After I leave the village, He will be the strongest ninja here so I would like to inform him as well.. After all He's The leader of the Anbu organisation.

*Knock,Knock*

Naruto: Please enter.

Sakura: You were looking for me?

Naruto: Yes Sakura, I'll be leaving the village for a period of time to attend a Kages meeting and it is regrading about the Akatsuki...so I would like to in-charge here while I'm not around in the village.

Sakura: Well..Alright I guess..

Naruto: And Sasuke.. I would like to you help out Sakura while I'm not here since you are the strongest ninja after I not around and I would also like you to increase the security just to prevent unnecessary trouble.

Sasuke: Alright I'll do that right away!

Naruto: I'll be taking Shikamaru, My head advisor along smartest person in the village I would like to hear some advise from you during the meeting too...

Shikamaru: Since it is the Hokage's order, I won't refuse.

Naruto: I'm also taking Kakashi Sensei and Hinata along to attend this Meeting.. so please keep the village safe, Sakura and Sasuke

Sakura: Don't worry, I'll do my best

Sasuke: Yes, Just attend the meeting at ease.

Naruto: Alright that's all, Sakura and Sasuke you guys may leave. Shikamaru,Kakashi sensei inform Hinata about this trip and I'll catch you guys up at the main gate entrance.

Suddenly In a flash, He disappear...


Naruto went to visit his sensei, Jiraiya’s tomb and walked up ahead and took out the book that Jiraiya wrote '' The tale of a gutsy ninja ''...


Naruto: Ero-Sennin, After all these year I been trying to hunt down the Akatsuki after that '' war '' but still couldn't find them... until today they suddenly making new moves.. This is also another chance for me to wipe them out and find the peace you always wanted... This time I'll now fail.. With your book always by my side...I'll never give up.. not even the last breath I had!

Naruto puts the book on his heart and closes his eye and as a single drops of tear and he disappear....



Back in Konoha, At the main gate entrance where Shikamaru, Kakashi and Hinata is waiting for Naruto...


Shikamaru: Whats took him so long...he didn't even said where he was going to and just disappear into tiny air...what a drag...

Kakashi: I bet he went to visit Jiraiya.. After all Jiraiya's death was related to Akatuski all along...

Shikamaru: Yeah...I guess you are right..

Naruto suddenly appear right in front of them..

Naruto: Alright! Let's head out !

================================================

In Hidden Cloud Village..It's the second day when all Kages left their village and while Killerbee was resting in his room..he suddenly heard huge explosive sounds created outside...

Cloud Ninja 1: Don't let them go near the village! Everyone attack with full power!

Cloud Ninja 2: long, dark cloaks with red clouds...? They're the Akatsuki! Be careful !

Huge group of Cloud ninjas start throwing kunai and other ninja weapons...But...

???: Crystal Style : Crystal Wall !

All attack are useless against them.. While they keep on standing there and start mocking them..

???: Useless bunch of ninja! Show us what Cloud ninjas are made of! bunch of weakly !

???: Crystal Style : Thousand Crystal Needles Strike !

Killing almost every cloud ninja.. Suddenly..

Cloud Ninja 3: Lightning Release: Lightning Ball!

Cloud Ninja 3: Someone inform Bee-san!

With the crystal wall still been actives, Their attack are useless...

???: I guess I had enough fun...time to finish this off! Crystal Style..

Killerbee: Lighting Lariat Strike !

Killerbee crush down the entire crystal wall with a blink of speed while he covered up with chakra cloak....

Killerbee: Yo!!!! Akatuski fools!!! Are you trying to mess up with the powerful 8 tailed host.. Killerbee!?!

???:..........

???: Finish him off.....

???: Don't have to tell me what to do ! Crystal Style : Thousand Crystal Dragon Strike !

Out of the sudden..Thousand of dragon that made out of crystal start forming and attack straight at Killerbee! While Killerbee focuses by crossing his arms and a black chakra forms a replica of the eight tails around him and he enter his Jinchuuriki mode..!


Killerbee: Fool! Tiny crystal worm won't hurt a single bit! Time to send you home shall I ?!?

Killerbee charged a Tailed Beast Ball and launch straight at the two Akatsuki, Destroying everything in the path including all of the crystal dragon.....leaving a huge path of smoke... and two piece of Akatsuki's cloths

Killerbee: That's the power of 8 tailed host!!! Yaaaaa!


< < End of Chapter 1 > >


Author note: Who is this two Akatuski member? Did they really get killed by Killerbee? And how will the meeting goes on ?!


~ Oh no ! Trouble at Kage's Meeting !! ~



Note: Firstly I would like to say that I hope i didn't really make any serious grammar mistake or any sort of error but if I do please forgive me as my English isn't that good... If there's any sort of error please do inform me so i could change them as quickly as possible... I know the first chapter it might be kind of boring but i'll try to make some action soon..

If there's any place that i could improve please do tell so.. but please do not be so harsh.

Lastly, I hope you guys enjoy reading my first chapter and will continue to read my up coming FF's chapters and i will update the chapter 2 link here so hope you guys will follow by then.


Thanks for reading.. and support if i ever get one :)



Continue On :
 
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Felixman

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yeah the only problems with it seem to be the spellling and grammar but as you said english isnt your firt langage so no need to apologize for it. It is very impressive for a non native neglis speaker to write. where you from man? Ps. this is kind of similar t a story written by ruler michael a while back that surprised me too.
 

Faith

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Thanks people :)

yeah the only problems with it seem to be the spellling and grammar but as you said english isnt your firt langage so no need to apologize for it. It is very impressive for a non native neglis speaker to write. where you from man? Ps. this is kind of similar t a story written by ruler michael a while back that surprised me too.

Yeah..My English isn't very good..but i'm trying my best to improve as day go on :)... I'm from Singapore o.o
 

Enemy

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It was nice. Like someone above me said, grammar could be better, but I still like the story. ^.^

P.S. Try finding someone who's good at English to help ya a little. It should do the work. U_U
 

Escorpiius

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Well, nice 1st chapter you got!

When I began reading it, I felt for a moment that I was re-readin' Micheal's FF till the point you mentioned Sasuke as ANBU leader!
Your English may need some little improvement but it's a pretty good job overall.:cool:

Points I like:

- Sasuke as ANBU leader! Even if I'm no great fan of him, it's good to see him in the village with such a high rank. I'd like to know how he was convinced eventually to return...He seems a bit too gentle unlike his usual character :p
- Killer Bee in action! it's always good to see him in a fight! Well, since your English is not great, I think you did a decent try with his rhymes but there is room for improvement.;)
- Shikamaru's character! he always has that quirky lazy attitude which I love xd

Points to improve:

- being the 1st chapter, i expected a little more build-up for some relations (like Naruto-Hinata, Sasuke, Sakura and others canon characters). You like to chain events quickly (a little too quickly :p). This will be an intense style when writing battle as it will be fast-paced (pretty much what requires) but it leaves me a bit thirsting for more while reding descriptive writing.:|

On side note:

- Don't make a squash battle between Akatsuki and Killer bee.
- is one of the Akatsuki's member, someone related to Guren for using Crystal tech? :|
- I went quite nostalgic about Naruto visitin' Jiraiya's memorial! Reminded me of my 1st one xd

Keep going :), try provide me with links of your next chapters...:D;)
 

Faith

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That's a huge encouragement for me KingScorp!

Sorry if i did sound like Micheal or Your FF o.o because i have no idea <_<

Thanks for the point for improvement, I might try to match up the relationship between characters and characters soon.. maybe like a flash back or something?:)p) , As for the battle.. I thought of adding a little action in my first chapter as not to get everybody bored while reading.. it may be short but i'll try to increase the length on upcoming chapters and definitely more action.


- Maybe in this chapter Sasuke was too gentle in his way of talking but as story goes on you'll see why
- You'll see as the story goes on hahaha ~
- Since Jiraiya's death was a huge impact to Naruto thats why i planned him to visit Jiraiya before he left since Akatuski has a part of it.


Thanks, I will :)
 

Michael92

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This being your first FF and first chapter, I must say that you did quite good:) As some mentioned, it's not always that easy to write stories like this when English is not your mother togue, but you'll improve as you write, trust me. Just take you time and put your effort in it and you'll do fine;)

I like the plot and the theme of the story as it feels familiar:) As Kingscorp said, you could try to put some more details and character relations in it, and try not to rush too much, but I guess that will come as the story progresses, and I must say that I think you're doing great so far. Looking forward to the next chapter;)




Ps. this is kind of similar t a story written by ruler michael awhile back that surprised me too.
Awhile back?:p I'm still writingxd
 

Escorpiius

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That's a huge encouragement for me KingScorp!

Sorry if i did sound like Micheal or Your FF o.o because i have no idea <_<

Thanks for the point for improvement, I might try to match up the relationship between characters and characters soon.. maybe like a flash back or something?:)p) , As for the battle.. I thought of adding a little action in my first chapter as not to get everybody bored while reading.. it may be short but i'll try to increase the length on upcoming chapters and definitely more action.


- Maybe in this chapter Sasuke was too gentle in his way of talking but as story goes on you'll see why
- You'll see as the story goes on hahaha ~
- Since Jiraiya's death was a huge impact to Naruto thats why i planned him to visit Jiraiya before he left since Akatuski has a part of it.


Thanks, I will :)
Np ~
Great! i'm sure you'll do well xd
- Now you got me excited about Sasuke in the story...I'll look for it

Awhile back?:p I'm still writingxd
Are you? cause' still waiting for updates xd
 

Faith

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This being your first FF and first chapter, I must say that you did quite good:) As some mentioned, it's not always that easy to write stories like this when English is not your mother togue, but you'll improve as you write, trust me. Just take you time and put your effort in it and you'll do fine;)

I like the plot and the theme of the story as it feels familiar:) As Kingscorp said, you could try to put some more details and character relations in it, and try not to rush too much, but I guess that will come as the story progresses, and I must say that I think you're doing great so far. Looking forward to the next chapter;)
Thanks a lot for another huge encouragement! Yeah my English is giving me little problem here and there but I hope you enjoy even tho i don't have much confident for my FF :p

Thank you! And I'll try my best !


Np ~
Great! i'm sure you'll do well xd
- Now you got me excited about Sasuke in the story...I'll look for it
Hopefully i won't disappoint you in '' Sasuke's part '' :p


Lolxd, well not at the moment, but it kinda sounded like Felix suggested that I ended my FF a long time ago:p

Anyways, Toshiyuki when can we expect a new chapter?:p:D
I'll keep you guys update here by adding chapter 2 link and i won't forget to provide you links for my upcoming chapters :) hopefully you guys will enjoy reading ! ^_^
 
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