[Predictions] 630: No Way I’m Gonna Die!!

Kebexious

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Obito : (pointing at hole in his chest) No matter what you say , this ninja world is responsible for so much pain and suffering , nations torn apart by war, children forced to fight and kill each other, people dying before their time all of that , all of it is the world we as shinobi have created. Ours is a life born in bloodshed ( Flashback of shinobi wars and battle aftermaths showing casualties on the various battlefields) Look Kakashi , look at what you’re doing , you have your hand through my body, someone you considered a friend. Again. Can you honestly say this seems right to you?

(Kakashi falls to his knees staring at the blood on his hands)

Kakashi : Obito… You are right this world is cruel, it can be painful. But what you’re planning it wouldn’t be peace it would just be a lie , it wouldn’t solve anything; no matter how hard it is you can’t force people to live a lie. Yes our history is tainted but effectively destroying the world will not change that. You have a choice Obito , you could stop this come over to the right, help the alliance and fight for the future, help create a lasting peace that will go on forever. Become the person you always wanted to be.

Obito: …

( Suddenly Obito becomes intangible and stabs Kakashi through his sharingan with a kunai . Kakashi falls to the floor face down , a pool of blood forming around him. Obito looks at him an unreadable expression on his face)

Obito: You always did talk too much Kakashi.

Back to the battlefield.

Sakura is still healing Naruto who lays barely conscious among the dust and remnants of the Shinobi Alliance.

Naruto: ( Looking around at the devastation, eyes filling with tears) I can’t save anyone. (Thinking of his father) I’m sorry dad. I couldn’t live up to your expectations. I have failed. (passes out)

(Madara looks down at the scene smiling)

Madara: ( Talking to the alliance) What will you do now? Can’t you see how pathetic you all are? Do you honestly think you can escape you’re fate? You should know by now. YOU CAN’T STOP A GOD!!

( Starts weaving hand signs. 40 Susanno clones appear and start closing in on the alliance .At the same time dark storm clouds appear as the Juubi begins charging an enormous ball of charkra the size of the moon.)

Sakura: ( Still healing Naruto) Come on Naruto. We need you. You can’t give up. What did you always say ( Image of young Naruto) I never go back on my word!

Naruto: Thank you Sakura. ( Looks at the clones coming in and at the Juubi) I needed that. ( Looks at alliance and slowly stands up) We can’t give up, the moment we abandon hope all will be lost. So fight with all you’ve got and we’ll win this somehow ( Smiles) ( Flashback to fight with Kabuto in part 1) After all until I become Hokage theirs no way I’m gonna die!

( Alliance cheer)

Naruto: You hear that Madara, this world belongs to the living! Not to some old man who already had his chance at life!! Go back to the world of the dead and leave the present alone! ( tries to fire up bijuu mode but it fails as his chakra has still not sufficiently recovered)

Madara: (Smiles) Strong words.. From a dead man.

( Suddenly a susunno clone appears and stabs Naruto in the back)

Naruto: Agh! ( Falls down coughing up blood)

Hinata: (Screaming) Naruto!!!!!!!!!!! (Starts to cry)

Sakura: You bastard!

Madara: ( Smiles sadistically) Anyone else got something to say?

( 4 Hokages appear with Sasuke, Orichimaru and Taka)
Minato: Stay away from my son!!!!!!!

End
 
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pandu

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Naruto won't get stabbed by something so trivial as susanoo.He has the strongest defence in the manga..."plot armour" U_U
Nice chap BTW.I see you like to give the initial advantage to the villians :yeah:
 

Byron123

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You have to work a litttle on the dialogues. Most of the reactions didn't seem natural. For instance, Obito said to Kakashi that he talked to much while he didn't talk any less. In the previous chapter Naruto was full of confidence and here at the beginning you have him to cry out of the blew, passing away, then return immediately, again full of confidence. Then, the alliance laughs like a bunch of idiots while 40 Susanoo are coming towards their direction. After that, Naruto made a speech only to be stabbed in a ridicule way from one of the Susanoo and then all the others come to his help as well out of the blew.
I give it 3/5. Work a bit on your dialogues and it can easily become way better.
 
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