Greetings From Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
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So here we are people. My loves. After 18 name changes and 20 different track listings posted on twitter we finally get the Beta release of The Life of Pablo by Kanye Kardashian. Now before I begin on telling you about this new Kanye album lets list how many names this went by
….. Five times yo. Five times this negro went online and announced his new album with a new wave of ****ery. Then he goes and does the Good Friday series in an attempt to make it seem like this is the MBDTF Kanye. Which is definitely isn’t. Do I mean that in a good way or a bad way? Well. Find out below my lovelies.
1. Ultralight Beams – Man as soon as this started with this intro my soul felt the Holy Spirit. This is how an albums intro should hit you man. See the intros sample below.
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WE DON’T WANT NO DEVILS IN THE HOUSE LAWD!!! WE WANT THE LAWD AND THAT’S IT!!! I can’t tell you how much this song can lift you up yo. This is some very great uplifting vocals from Ye in this first verse. Then The Dream (Who I am really starting to appreciate at this point in his singing career) and a Gospel Choir sing a verse that just gives you Goosebumps. After this amazing introduction to the introductory Track we get the best verse Chance has spit his entire Career in my opinion (I’ve only hear his Acid Rap album so….). Even better than Acid Rain and that’s saying a lot because that’s hands down my favorite Chance track. I think the first time I heard this track tears came running down the inside of my cheeks yo. That’s how powerful this is. Listen to the wizardry. This is a true highpoint… and the highest point this album will reach….
2. Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1 – YES Kanye told the truth! This is a Gospel album!! These vocals by Pastor T.L. Barrett are FIRE..... Hold the hell up…. Was that Future…. No…. maybe it was Vince… yea it was that lame Vince dude on the vocals it couldn’t possibly be that *****. Oh Lawd its Kid Cudi actually doing a good Kid Cudi croon. God listened to my prayers after all!!! Now we have Kanye with sweet autotune. Dope… hold the hell up…. HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF I thought this was a Gospel album bruh. BRUH Who even says shit like this and doesn’t laugh?
Now if I f*** this model
And she just bleached her @ss****
And I get bleach on my T-shirt
I'mma feel like an @ss****
….. And it all went downhill from here smh. After a horrible ass of a verse from Kanye we get another God gift of a Kid Cudi croon then a Future impression by Kanye. Disappointed he just let this Cudi feature go to waste. Like the fact that Cudi is croonin on a Kanye track is dope but still with all the lame shit in this.... Song is meh.
3. Pt. 2 – Oh hell yea. This started off so Dope. Even the Kanye Auto tune was Dope as ****. Man I hope he just spits some real shit like this the entire song and a stupid mainstream artist doesn’t come out of nowhere and ruin my high. OOPS TOO LATE HAHAHAHA THIS SONG WENT 100 to 0 ***** REAL QUICK. Why Kanye. You really let me down man. This is the LAST person I wanted to hear on your album b. Like you could have put Lupe. Jay. Kendrick again. Maybe even J. Cole… maybe…. But nah you get Future. Man I would have even chose to have Meek over this dude. Hell even Big Sean (Big Sean who?) Lmfao okay time to hit that skip button before Kanye turns to Future number 2. This track is garbage now.
4. Famous – WHOOO!!!! WHOOOOO!!! WHOOOOO!!! *Shoots swizz in the face* okay now that he’s done with his bs maybe I can continue this review. So after a smooth vocal from my girl Rhianna who just release a trash album we have some meh bars from Kanye. Saying how he made Taylor famous when it’s completely bs. Man this guy is turning into something… I can’t see it clearly yet but…. I guess we’ll find out later. So this song has an amazing production quality on it I can’t lie… but man the lyrics they just completely turn me off. Then with Swizz in the background giving me a head tumor I have to hit skip. Sad too since the ending sample is so sweet and soulful. I hate you swizz. Track is meh.
5. Feedback – Man this beat is so garbage. Oh and the lyrics are you kidding me. Their just so short and wasteful. They just don’t hit me at all. They are so meh. It’s like a J. Cole track. Just MEH. Gosh then he goes back to that horrendous Chorus over this horrendous beat. Straight garbage just hit skip. For your own good.
6. Low Lights – Now at first I was like cool we’re getting back to the Gospel right…. Right??? RIGHT???? OR NAH LOL So this track is a speech by an uncredited vocalist who probably didn’t want to be associated with this shit. I don’t blame her. Skip.
7. Highlight – Oh no. Another Future impression by Kanye Kardashian. Jesus help this album. Like I really deadass thought this would be a Gospel album lol Well as we continue we get some more meh bars by Kanye who just thinks he’s created the next classic smh. We have Dream repeating the same damn line over and over starting to give me a tumor just skip this shit man. Trash.
8. Freestyle 4 – Two words bruh. Hit. Skip. This song has a cringe worthy beat. A cringe worthy verse. It will make you puke. Save yourselves. Then a Future verse? **** this song.
9. I Love Kanye – What is this yo? *sigh* is this album just a joke? I hope so because this is just ridiculous. Like he knows what we want to hear but he’s gonna give us this bs until the real album comes out next week. Hopefully with a new cover too….
10. Waves – Now when this started I was like oh yes!!! Turn it up!! Turn it…. OFF!! Dear God no…. WHY WHY!!! Why Chris Brown. On a Gospel album??? HAHAHAHAHAHA This track has short trash bars and a horrible simpleton hook by Chris Brown. Was this cooked up in an hour? Sounds like it…. Oh man… I’m gonna cry bruh. Like I’m about to breakdown yo. Kid Cudi at the end crooning man. That was a WASTE.
11. FML – What I’m saying to myself while listening to this album for the 10,000th time for this review. But yea I really love this track. I was very VERY surprised to finally find something that gave me Goosebumps again. If every song was similar to this and track 1 I would really be jamming to this thing. The beat is very low and smooth. It really complements the vocal performance by The Weeknd who is my favorite R&B singer(There may be better I just haven’t explored R&B much. I’m not a female b). The outro is very groovy lol that’s all I can say to explain it tbh. It’s just groovy. In a good way of course. One of my favorite tracks so skip from Father Stretch My Hands 1 to this.
12. Real Friends – Listened to this song a lot since its release. I really enjoy the verses here since it’s very heartfelt. Diving into something in Ye’s life that we’ve heard before on 808’s but it was nice to see this side of him again. Can’t say I like this Vince guy. If that’s even his name. The auto croonin just reminds me of Future and anything that reminds me of Future is bad. This is a pretty dope song though so it’s 2 good tracks in a row now.
13. Wolves – And downhill we go yet again. I gotta say this started off pretty nice with the howling in the background and the autotune Ye in the chorus. Thought it was gonna be some nasty twisted bars here kind of like Monster from his 2010 album MBDTF. Man was I mistaken. Just some random shit tbh. Meh bars after meh bars. Like seriously what is this man?
I know it's corny b****es you wish you could unfollow
I know it's corny n****s you wish you could unswallow
I know it's corny b****es you wish you could unfollow
I know it's corny n****s you wish you could unswallow
I know it's corny b****es you wish you could unfollow
I know it's corny n****s you wish you could unswallow
You tried to play nice, everybody just took advantage
You left your fridge open, somebody just took a sandwich
…. I’m done. Oh GOD WHAT IS THAT SCREECHING!!!??? AHHHH MY EARS THIS IS A TERRIBLE OUTRO!!! HIT SKIP!!! There is a Frank Ocean appearance at the end but man it’s just not worth the torture. TRASH.
14. Silver Surfer – The hell…. Is this just to prove a point to Wiz and all the other *****s who aint like that Wave shit. GTFOH
15. 30 Hours – Well back to something somewhat better. The beat is a simple one yet it holds up a nice 30 hours being threaded into it. I don’t mind it at all actually helps as Kanye rides through the verse. Everything is going okay until the outro which makes me hit that skip button yet again. Song is meh. I really appreciate the bars man I really do. They just need better complementation by a dope as Kanye WEST production. This feels like it was produced in seconds. Then another wasteful feature. Why in the hell do you put one of the best rappers in history on a track to sing? Stupid af g.
16. No More Parties in L.A. – SHAKE THAT BODY PARTY THAT BOOOOODY!!! I love this track. I was hype af when this came into light. When this dropped this made me think Good Fridays had returned and it made me have hope for this album. Nice try Kanye lol. He didn’t even deliver with the Good Friday’s by the way. What did we get like 3 songs and a bunch of bs tweets. Garbage compared to the jewels we got in 2010. Back to the track we got a simple yet dope beat using a dope Ghostface and Johnny "Guitar" Watson sample. It starts getting a bit repetitive for me but the breaks in between the verses with Ghostface help. That and the amazing verses by Kendrick and Kanye. This is a very well put together track and I wish there were more fire verses like this on the album.
17. Facts (Charlie Heat Version) – Now I just want to start off by saying I hate every single line Kanye says in this song. He is being a salesman and a hypocrite for adidas and his clothing line. Now lets get to the most hype beat I’ve heard since Lupe’s Prisoner Part 2….
Dirt and grime and filth inside
The story of my lifetiiiiime
Of cheating, stealing, never feeling
Pain of a brother, your dirty mother
Ha, ha, ha, look how far we are, are, are, are, are, are, are
(Perfect!)
Oh the soulfulness of this intro is OVER 1 BILLION!!!! GOOD WORK CHARLIE!!! This beat is so amazing. Please somebody make a remix to this. Weezy even you even though every line you spit is meh. Man image if Kendrick spit another control level verse over this. DAMN this beat is beautiful. Hype as hell man I love the instrumental so damn much lol okay I’ll quit. Also you want to know why the verses by Kanye are so trash? One line says it all b.
Plus Kimoji just shut down the app store, ah!
Listen once for the beat alone. Try to ignore the bs lines.
18. Fade – Man I was at least hoping it would end on a high note. Instead we get some weird as intro with horrible vocals and some horrible techno with Kanye and Ty $ spittin the weakest verses on the entire album.
Roll up, roll up
Hold up, hold up
Po' up, po' up
I feel it
I love to
I wanna
I'm tryna
I feel it
I'ma rock the boat
Work the middle 'til it hurt a little
I feel it
Your love is fadin'
I feel it
How dare you quote Aaliyah on this garbage ass song yo. Forshame. A horrible way to end an album and an album that is on the same level I have Yeezus on basically. I mean I only liked three songs on Yeezus. I Am A God, Blood On The Leaves, and Bound 2. (I only liked I Am A God because it makes me laugh and it’s pure black ignorance hype.) I only like three songs here, Ultralight Beams, No Parties and FML (Not to mention this thing is twice as large as Yeezys. Which in my opinion makes this double the insult to the art of HipHop) This thing is just another Yeezus mixed with an attempt to trick College Dropout Gospel type fans and Yeezus stans to sign up for Tidal and support his bs. That being said I haven’t even listened to those three tracks I mentioned earlier, since the year Yeezus was released. All I can say is he hasn’t learned a damn thing b and it’s because of his delusion, his fanbase kissing his feet and calling him Yeezus/DAD/SENPAI, and because he is riding the WAVE of the new mainstream bs that’s out. What happened to this dude b. It’s like as soon as he started ****ing Kim he became washed. It’s sad. I look back at MBDTF and cry tears of joy and sadness now. Because I know that he will never again make another piece of music that will top that. Let’s hope there is another Watch The Throne because the only person who can get Kanye out of this mess of a state he is in is the God MC Jigga. Well this was the album I was looking forward to the most this year my loves, and sad to say it but I am disappointed. Greatly.
6/10
So what did you guys think of the album? How about you stans with no life what did you, SIKE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR BIAS OPINION YOU PLEBS GO FIND A FATHER FIGURE TO STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!!!
-Excelsior!
