phoenixforcexD
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Finally In Your Arms
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)It’s been a week since my ever-man came to me. I remember how hard it was for the both of us before, as we both got emotional and let out our cries. Dying of touch, of embracement and connection.
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It's times like this that break my heart. When I feel like I want to be closest to him. I don't know what it is, when I see him, call him or message him. It must be something about that damn webcam that makes him look so vulnerable, so... small. Of course we coup with this, we always do, because we love each other.
It's hard though, being in two separate places. Wanting so badly just to squeeze through that camera or phone, nestle into his side, brush kisses along his arm and hear him assure me that everything is going to be alright. It's not enough for either of us, and we know it. The only time I've touched him in the past month is in my sleep.
I had a melt down before, lying on my bed crying my eyes out. I couldn’t take it! Everything we have is perfect, but we can’t see each other because of a few centimetres on a map that is keeping us apart.
After thinking for about 20 minutes I phoned him. After 3 rings, he answered.
“Hey!” He said happily, knowing who it was.
“Hi”. I mumbled back to him
“What’s wrong love?” He instantly knew something was wrong
I took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
*sob*
“Pumpki-?”
“I can’t take it!!” I yelled with my cracking sob voice.
“…” He waited for me to release everything
“It so hard… I want you here, I want you inches away, and I want your breath on me every time you speak!!” I closed my eyes, trying my best to keep the tears from falling.
“…I know, its okay love. None of this is our fault. I'm not sure when we'll see each other, but it will all work out," He sighed softly, "You should try to get some sleep, call me when you wake up."
I choked, “okay, I love you, goodnight”.
“Don’t over think this ok, I love you too, night”. He reassured.
That night, I cried myself to sleep.
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I’m glad it’s all over, but then again... we’ll be going back to all this in a few weeks. It won’t bring me down as much, but I will miss him. The next time I see him after this will be my visit to California.
I woke up early in the morning, first thing I saw was my soul mate, the one I am truly, madly and deeply in love with. Seeing him made me smile. I moved closer to him, feeling more warmth, I snuggled under his chest. He growled, I guess he wasn’t the type to wake up from someone’s presents. I gigged. I quickly covered my mouth and shot my head up. “Phew”, he didn’t wake up.
Guess I spoke too soon; He heard me sigh and recognized my warmth. “Sorr-”, before I had the time to apologize he pulled me by the waist and hugged me. “Mmm, strawberry”, he complimented. He sounded so adorable. “Why are you up at 7:00am?” He questioned. “Just… thinking”, I stated. He had a confused and slight of a worried face, I continued. “Happy thoughts”, I cuddled. We stayed like so for 30 minutes, looking at each other, the ceiling or the window to our right. After our intimate time, we decided to take a shower.
All through breakfast I was thinking about tomorrow, August 19th. I guess he thought I forgot his birthday. That makes everything much more fun anyways. He planned to explore some more of Toronto so I decided to take the opportunity to get him something.
Even after all these years, I still don’t have a clue of what he would want. I sighed, I wasn’t a giving person. But, I wouldn’t stop searching; I was a determined person as well.
After being sure of what to get him, I stopped through some stores and found the item, bought it and left as soon as possible. When I got home he was already there, he smiled, walked over and asked “what’s that”? I couldn’t blow this up, I tried not to hesitate, I just never lied to him, and if I did, it was for his amusement. “Just some…stuff”. I giggled off, but he narrowed his eyes, “mmm, alright”. Was it getting hotter in here? I could tell we were in silence from awkwardness, just staring. “I’m…gonna go change”. I quickly said. I chuckled to myself; if I texted this he would’ve acted, probably say something like “can I watch?”
As I was walking the opposite direction, to my surprise, he asked. “Want me to help?” I paused, my face was getting redder, I didn’t think it was possible, I’m brown…I can’t turn red! But, he obviously proved I could. “Umm…” it was like I had something stuck inside my oesop hagus . He laughed harder when I looked to the side, covering my face with my bangs. He walked closer to me and whispered, “I’m kidding”. It wasn’t the fact that he was kidding that made me blush, but more of the thought.
I know he did it on purpose; he’s good in sarcasm too.
Another night passed by, we hadn’t thought of anything productive to do. So we spent the night playing video games. As lame as it seemed, we had fun, everything we did was fun. He held out the pink ps3 controller, raging over the game. I laughed at his expression, I held the controller from the other handle, “it’s just a game silly”. He realised how it didn’t matter. He pulled me closer to him, pulling me by my waist with one hand and the hand that held the control with the other. He was so warm, maybe from that California temperature, whatever it was, I felt sympathized. I wanted to make him feel the same way, I had to, and I was going to, tomorrow.
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