phoenixforcexD
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Finally In Your Arms
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)It began with a stare, we stared for what seemed like an hour but were only a few seconds before he dropped his belongings and ran to me. I wasn’t going to stand there, waiting. I ran as fast as he did, jumping into his strong arms, holding him to dear life, wrapping my legs around his firm hips, with my arms around his neck. My head was on his shoulder, listening to his quiet sighs and breaths. He was crying, and so was I. I gazed at his face and chuckled. I whipped away his tear and gave him a light peck where it stopped. He gently placed me on the ground and stroked my cheek, his smile was so genuine, and his best feature I once told him.
I lead him to the promised cold bench, our warmth was all we needed. He looked pale, I knew airplane food isn’t what you would call the best, so I made a snack for him and myself. We ate together. Seeing him made me forget my hunger, but eating with him made me feel better. We enjoyed the time, I listened to every breath he made. Yes, I want to be with him forever. But it’s impossible right now. I rested my head on his shoulders. He hugged me tightly.
I fell asleep on his shoulder for some time, he expected it, and didn’t say a word. I woke up, to realise he placed my head on his lap. I fluttered my eyes to see him staring back at me, smiling, oh that smile. Everything seemed to sync back to me, I sat back up but only to look into his blue eyes. We stayed like this for some time before the words that filled my head spat right out, “iloveyou”. He was surprised, but thrilled to know I had finally said the word that kept us both quiet. “I love to you too my little ninja”. I chuckled, he was right, I am little and I am his one and only ninja.
Our faces are so close to each other, I wonder if he’s thinking what I’m thinking. I straightened my back, only making the situation even for steaming. The eye levels were perfect, I saw my reflection. I wasn’t sure if he was getting closer to me, or I was getting closer to him. Inches away, he moved quickly but enough time for me to see it, his soft lips pressed on mine, he kissed me. I kissed him back. He ran his fingers through my hair, as I buried my face on his chest. He whispered to me, “I love you, I won’t let go, and everything’s going to be alright.”
I took his hand and held it, held it so that everyone could finally acknowledge what we have. We headed to the subway station. It was very cold, so we cuddled. It takes about an hour, after all I do live in downtown Toronto. No matter what time of day it is, there will always be traffic. We relaxed and closed our eyes. Sleep didn't really come to me, and I just watched him. Seeing him smile, watching him, feeling his breathe beside me made me feel happy from within. I placed his head on my chest, he was resting.
We finally got off the last bus and were heading to my condo. When we arrived, I set the keys on the side and smiled to him. He smiled back. Words cannot explain what I feel, I thought this day would come in a couple of years, but he’s standing right before my eyes. But, he’ll eventually leave… I carried a sad smile until we got to the bedroom. It seemed a bit awkward, we hadn’t discussed about where he would rest. I set up another bed in the opposite room, in case he didn’t intend to sleep with me. After all, he was staying for only a month. We would get back to messaging each other in a few weeks, if I have enough potential to be with such a man. I lack self-esteem, I know.
“Is this where I sleep?” he asked me. I was hesitating, should I tell him that it’s our room? Or that his room is on the opposite side? My throat felt like it was getting smaller, I looked away to the floor. I mumbled something, “Yes.” He replied with “ok, well I like it. But I don’t need a queen sized bed.” He scratched his head from the back and chuckled. I looked up to see his face, I blushed. “This room…It’s for the both of us.” I looked away right after I spoke the truth. His feet were moving inches closer to me, or perhaps to the bed. I wasn’t sure. After he was close enough, I took a breath and looked up to see him, staring back. “I can sleep in the other room if you’d like, I just thought maybe we would…you know.” He didn’t say a word, I looked down, the situation was quiet awkward. But, to my surprise, I was quickly pushed onto the bed, pinned down, lying there with wide eyes.
“How could you thing that I wouldn’t want to sleep with you” I smiled and playfully rolled my chinky eyes. “I just thought-” He cut me off. “For the millionth time, I love you! Stop it babe, your thinking too much.” I sighed. I intently changed my mode to a 5 year old. “I love you too!” I giggled. He laughed. That laugh was the only thing that sounded like music to my ears. It was so pure and positive. He really was the stronger one in are relationship, both inside and out. At times, I feel hopeless compared to him.
The night went by fairly quick, he insisted on helping me make dinner. It took longer than usual, but I enjoyed it, I actually had fun making dinner for once, and will continue to. We ate together and had a decent conversation about my life here in Toronto. We planned to go out tomorrow, so I could show him around. I was excited. I haven’t gone to many of the attractions here. It’s been the same routine for me since high school. He was excited as well, perhaps more then me, which isn’t quite surprising. The conversation lasted through the whole dinner. I wonder what I should wear…it’s freezing outside, yet I still have to look like we’re on a date. I had to prepare myself, although he liked the fact that I didn’t wear makeup and still looked presentable. We would have to wait and see tomorrow.
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