I'm going to be honest so please do not be offended.
I think it looks way too plain and bland, also the quality of the render and background don't look too good either. It looks extremely 2d and lacks the depth. You should watch more tutorials if you haven't already. Start off with learning how to smudge and blend, this will be a good place to start. Learn how to use your brushes more effectively, go download a bunch of HD brush sets. Never get low quality renders, it ruins the entire piece itself. Look for some nice anime render packs or something to start you off in that area.
All in all, this doesn't really appeal to me. All I can say is practice, practice, practice. I may not be the best on the base but practicing has increased my skills alot. Sorry if I was too blunt.