Soooo.......

[MetalDuck]

Edit: I had verses 1 and 2 mixed up.

Fall was upon us with all the leaves turning, you were so sure of yourself
You were asking me questions of us getting older
You hardly could catch your breath (I wanted anything else)
And I've asked, for the after remorse (To stay)
And still these hands, but it never takes, never takes
Old habits are so hard to break
So you fall, and circle through your life, that can't be seen
Avoid the brilliant lights that find you
Because when they do, you know you'll have to

It's time to back all your big words, so come on now, come on now
But you're all lipstick and cheap skirts, you're the shining light until it hurts
Tonight, I'll make this bleed light up the sky with my misdeeds
Cause I hate I hate I hate this, I hate this
I fell from the first time

There's not enough wisdom or perception
Judge this now, take back your life
You are dying, and the time you spent was wasted
On all the sick dreams of the lie
Pull yourself out, made yourself in your own image
The praise you gave thousands of time
Lifted yourself up to the sky
Bow before all that you've done

 

[Commander Axe]

hmm not bad, i couldn't help but read it in a rap kind of way since its hard for me to read poems without really rapping it xd . good poem though.

 

[Air]

Amazing! Oh my god it was so goooood

 

[Dodai3]

It's time to back all your big words, so come on now, come on now
But you're all lipstick and cheap skirts, you're the shining light until it hurts
Tonight, I'll make this bleed light up the sky with my misdeeds
Cause I hate I hate I hate this, I hate this
I fell from the first time

Fall was upon us with all the leaves turning, you were so sure of yourself
You were asking me questions of us getting older
You hardly could catch your breath (I wanted anything else)
And I've asked, for the after remorse (To stay)
And still these hands, but it never takes, never takes
Old habits are so hard to break
So you fall, and circle through your life, that can't be seen
Avoid the brilliant lights that find you
Because when they do, you know you'll have to

There's not enough wisdom or perception
Judge this now, take back your life
You are dying, and the time you spent was wasted
On all the sick dreams of the lie
Pull yourself out, made yourself in your own image
The praise you gave thousands of time
Lifted yourself up to the sky
Bow before all that you've done

WANT TO COME WORSHIP THE ALMIGHTY LUCIFER WITH ME HE WILL GRANT US DEVIL POWERS AND BEING UNDER THE GOD SATAN WILL GIVE US A TITLE OF AUTHORITY!! :rag:​

 

[OG Smoove]

Nice poem but this suppose to be in the fanfiction section I believe but still a nice poem +Rep

 

[Ryuga Uchiha]

Is this rap?

 

[MetalDuck]

Thanks. Honestly, I don't know where it belongs. It isn't Naruto related, so I assumed it went here. If I am mistaken, I apologize.

 

[Wakoo]

lol

 

[MetalDuck]

Is this rap?

No, it isn't. It is actually some lyrics I have been working on. I'm the drummer, and back-up vocals in a metalcore band. I thought I'd show it here before I move on with it.

 

[Punk Hazard]

i like it

 

[MetalDuck]

Also realized that I put this in the wrong order... The 2nd verse should be the 1st, and vice-versa. I will edit it in the original post.

 

[MetalDuck]

Just so everyone sees it, this is the correct order;

Fall was upon us with all the leaves turning, you were so sure of yourself
You were asking me questions of us getting older
You hardly could catch your breath (I wanted anything else)
And I've asked, for the after remorse (To stay)
And still these hands, but it never takes, never takes
Old habits are so hard to break
So you fall, and circle through your life, that can't be seen
Avoid the brilliant lights that find you
Because when they do, you know you'll have to

It's time to back all your big words, so come on now, come on now
But you're all lipstick and cheap skirts, you're the shining light until it hurts
Tonight, I'll make this bleed light up the sky with my misdeeds
Cause I hate I hate I hate this, I hate this
I fell from the first time

There's not enough wisdom or perception
Judge this now, take back your life
You are dying, and the time you spent was wasted
On all the sick dreams of the lie
Pull yourself out, made yourself in your own image
The praise you gave thousands of time
Lifted yourself up to the sky
Bow before all that you've done

 

[MetalDuck]

I have a few other pieces I have been working on, as well. If you guys would like, I could post some of those, as well.