Tale of the God of Shinobi Page 2.

Killer Vision

Sage of Six Posts 🔮
Immortal
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
58,366
Reaction score
1,607
alot of depth and well constructed. Good work!
 

Gutsy

Kage in the Making 👑
Legendary
Joined
Nov 29, 2011
Messages
13,267
Reaction score
1,189
Thanks to Reborn for all the help from him :D

and thanks to everyone else for reading the FF and I hope everyone enjoyed it :D
 

Sophie Ezra

Anbu Operative 🎭
Veteran
Joined
Aug 20, 2010
Messages
4,627
Reaction score
407
I agree with the nature part, the disposition, however there's more to being a God then kindness and helping behavior. A God keeps balance and is firm. In Hiruzen's case we understand his title as "God of Shinobi" for the almost unimaginable power he possessed. However if you're going to bring the nature of a God in here, in several societies you have a both the mercifuly and at times the wrathful God and you have the just God. The aspect we see of that from Hiruzen was perhaps his act against the Uchiha clan in ordering their execution. Though he rathered diplomacy there are times when that works and when that doesn't work and he understood such things...

On the note, Hiruzen did make many mistakes in his time as Hokage and I don't think his title as God is well fitting of him. He was more of a professor, the title of God should've only belonged to the Sage
______________

Sorry for the spam, now onto my review.

I've read both chapter, Idk if I commented on the other one but this can go for both regardless.

The chapters are a little short, I do believe you should make them longer and explain a little more in detail. I mean we see two technique from Tobirama and Hiruzen collectively and then you skip right to them having lunch, their first test finished.

Never found out who Danzo's sensei was you cut that scene short as well. I don't feel like there's a lot of build up in the characters. I don't see the development of Hiruzen much as a person here. I know it's early on in the series, I'm willing to wait and see how it turns out. However as it seem, Hiruzen and Danzo especially should be the more focused on characters in this series IMO due to their friendship and rivalry and we should see how each other becomes the way they did.

Also I'm a HUGE Tobirama Fanboy so I would love to see some more badass-ery from him :T_T: But regardless I like the idea you guys went with, with explaining Hiruzen's background as a shinobi first starting off and I can't wait to see where you guys bring it. I like the idea...could use a little more detail and development though ^^

thank you Reborn for the feed back :) jiraiya & I will have to work on it a bit more.
 

Rorasa

Kage in the Making 👑
Legendary
Joined
Mar 11, 2012
Messages
11,147
Reaction score
678
i really like it :) very nice fanfic
 

Wakizashi

Kage in the Making 👑
Legendary
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
17,647
Reaction score
300
this is going to be as epic as naruto's first mission!!
 

Reborn

Kage in the Making 👑
Legendary
Joined
Aug 15, 2010
Messages
14,109
Reaction score
1,007
Minato isnt a God of Shinobi!
Minato would get owned by Hiruzen

How would you know? Unless you're suggesting a 69 year old Hiruzen could defeat Minato in his prime. I mean all we've seen of Hiruzen is his descent from his prime so if you go by manga standards we can only (a) speculate (b) conclude that 69 year old Hiruzen<mid-upper 20s Minato (both are acceptable)

I won't turn this into a Hiruzen vs Minato thread though.
 
Top