Favorite Chuck Norris Facts

[mcchikeneater]

Ghosts sit around camp fires and tell Chuck Norris stories

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death is just too scared to come claim him

Jesus walks on water, but Chuck Norris swims through land.

Chuck Norris doesnt flush toilets, he scares the s--t out of them.

If Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a prius, the next day it would be a corvette.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesnt breath, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris doesnt mow his lawn, its just too scared to grow.

Some people wear Superman pajamas to bed, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child, His bed wet itself out of fear.





Post yours if you have any good ones.

 

[saturn]

Leading hand sanitizers claims they can kill 99% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the **** he wants.

 

[KAGE RYUU]

ppl say the sage of 6 paths is jus a legend ...chuck noris replis no i am real and then roundhouses u in the face for not believing in him

haha i made that up any good?

 

[24 12 11 to troll]

fav chuck norris fact? when his parents had *** they used comdoms , as a sperm he still got into his mums uterus (he climbed out)

 

[mcchikeneater]

ppl say the sage of 6 paths is jus a legend ...chuck noris replis no i am real and then roundhouses u in the face for not believing in him

haha i made that up any good?

+rep for that lol good one combining Naruto and Chuck.

Chuck Norris Could win the 4th shinobi world war for either side with a single roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris can smell what the rock is cooking.

Chuck Norris can eat a kitten and s--t a puppy.

 

[mcchikeneater]

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[KAGE RYUU]

+rep for that lol good one combining Naruto and Chuck.

Chuck Norris Could win the 4th shinobi world war for either side with a single roundhouse kick

thanks man i like to be original haha maybe sum other will come up with sum good ones as well like

one day orochimaru was walking down the street and stepped on a man toe by accident and when he looked up it was chuck norris...he was so scared he puked up his own body....when ur around chuck norris it dosnt have to make sense

 

[24 12 11 to troll]

chuck norris solos the DBZVERSE by opening his eyes

 

[mcchikeneater]

Chuck Norris's kick is the reason Oro can stretch his neck so far.

SO6P actually split the ten tails by asking Chuck Norris to stare at it until it shattered.

Madara Uchiha survived the battle with Hashirama, only to be killed by Chuck Norris later on

Only reason Naruto exists, is because Chuck Norris says he can.

 

[TheLOLRoller]

Saw this one on a website.

Chuck Norris doesn't hunt, because the word ''hunt'' includes the chance of failure, Chuck Norris goes KILLING

 

[mcchikeneater]

They once tried to market Chuck Norris brand toilet paper, but it didnt sell because Chuck Norris doesnt take s--t from anyone

 

[NarutoVsGoku]

Chuck Norris doesnt win fights. He just allows his opponents to lose.

 

[Jack Spicer]

Chuck Norris used to be an adventurer, but then he started shooting others in the knee.

 

[Blutengel]

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[Xenomorphia]

Chuck Norris slipped a finger inbetween a mermaids legs.

 

[mcchikeneater]

Chuck Norris slipped a finger inbetween a mermaids legs.

hahahah thats a good one.


Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut

 

[bmillz012]

there's a fist in his beard

 

[ReXii]

Chuck norris makes coffee in the morning by grinding the beans between his teeth and boiling the water with his fury

Chuck norris made a cameo appearance in the naruto manga appearing to be summoned by hiruzen sarutobi by a technique poorly translated as the reaper death seal
The literal translation of the technique is the Chuck roundhouse seal

 

[mcchikeneater]

Chuck norris makes coffee in the morning by grinding the beans between his teeth and boiling the water with his fury

Chuck norris made a cameo appearance in the naruto manga appearing to be summoned by hiruzen sarutobi by a technique poorly translated as the reaper death seal
The literal translation of the technique is the Chuck roundhouse seal

good one lol ill +rep that.

Ever wonder why Tsunade is so strong? 30 years ago she gave Chuck Norris a blowjob, she is still suffering the residual effects.