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The Legendary Sage of Konoha: Sasuke Chronicles 2

Kuroi Honoo

Kuroi Honoo

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The chapter was better than I expected ;) Now if the results of Sasuke’s sentencing could only happy in the manga-all will be well lol You added in the former Taka and it was nice! Suigetsu was a badass/hilarious as usual ^.^ Thankfully Kirabi was there to soften Raikage’s heart. If Sakura rather had run into Sasuke, kissed him and betrayed Lee by stating that she could never have forgotten about her first love-I think I would have exploded due to excitement XD I cannot wait to see what happens to Sasuke, Suigetsu and Juugo and I wonder what is going to happen with the rest of the following chapter…hmm..though I’m sure it will be as pleasing as it has been ^.^​
 
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Michael92

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-Pain- said:
Big and epic :cool:
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Yeah it was big wasn't itxd:p Thanks:)

Kuroi Honoo said:
The chapter was better than I expected ;) Now if the results of Sasuke’s sentencing could only happy in the manga-all will be well lol You added in the former Taka and it was nice! Suigetsu was a badass/hilarious as usual ^.^ Thankfully Kirabi was there to soften Raikage’s heart. If Sakura rather had run into Sasuke, kissed him and betrayed Lee by stating that she could never have forgotten about her first love-I think I would have exploded due to excitement XD I cannot wait to see what happens to Sasuke, Suigetsu and Juugo and I wonder what is going to happen with the rest of the following chapter…hmm..though I’m sure it will be as pleasing as it has been ^.^​
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Hehe, yeah i thought those aspects fitted:p

Hahaxd yeah that would have ruined the plot and made it into an unserious and funny FF instead i guessxd:p

Don't know if you know, but you kinda know already if you get what I'm sayingxd:p
 
Nikkou Arashi

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Hammy120290 said:
I really like the dialogue and the twists your putting into it man.

Your Itachi crow thing as the "gift" I loved its basically a theory I had that Itachi would stop "Sasukes" powers i.e. the ones Itachi gave him Susanoo etc. But for you to use the crows and taking Sasukes eyes etc...Nice.

The 2nd chapter I really liked the dialogue in this one and Suigestu coming to Sasuke's aid I think most people probably forgot that Juugo and him were left in trouble at the Kage Summit. Really nice work keep it up.

Nothing I didnt really like in these 2 chapters...except maybe the Narrator lines some are uneccesary like "Naruto said angrily" you kinda know someone said something in anger by these > !!!!!!!!!!!!! lol ^^
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Ah, a great review. :) My apologies, though as I can't help but share something I know about exclamation marks. :) Exclamation marks does not only denote anger. ;) It also implies being surprised, excited, or the speaker could just be trying to emphasize a point. So, Naruto with an exclaimed tone could just be emphasizing the point of deciding Sasuke's fate despite him taking Madara down if the description of his feelings (anger) were not there. ;):)
 
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Nikkou Arashi said:
Ah, a great review. :) My apologies, though as I can't help but share something I know about exclamation marks. :) Exclamation marks does not only denote anger. ;) It also implies being surprised, excited, or the speaker could just be trying to emphasize a point. So, Naruto with an exclaimed tone could just be emphasizing the point of deciding Sasuke's fate despite him taking Madara down if the description of his feelings (anger) were not there. ;):)
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Ok I have to agree with you on the different meaning of these badboys> !!!!!!! but surely the reader can interpret the meaning of them by the tone/direction of the dialogue or story?
 
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Nikkou Arashi

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Hammy120290 said:
Ok I have to agree with you on the different meaning of these badboys> !!!!!!! but surely the reader can interpret the meaning of them by the tone/direction of the dialogue or story?
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Right, that's one, too. Especially that we have known how much Naruto values his friendship with Sasuke and as to how he would react in such a situation. However, if the case was otherwise, then adding in a description of the character's feelings would jack up a little impact in the dialogue.Which is not the case in this dialogue though. :)
 
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kushina9 said:
WOW amazing work you did an awesome job!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks once again:)

Nikkou Arashi said:
Ah, a great review. :) My apologies, though as I can't help but share something I know about exclamation marks. :) Exclamation marks does not only denote anger. ;) It also implies being surprised, excited, or the speaker could just be trying to emphasize a point. So, Naruto with an exclaimed tone could just be emphasizing the point of deciding Sasuke's fate despite him taking Madara down if the description of his feelings (anger) were not there. ;):)
Click to expand...
Hammy120290 said:
Ok I have to agree with you on the different meaning of these badboys> !!!!!!! but surely the reader can interpret the meaning of them by the tone/direction of the dialogue or story?
Click to expand...
Nikkou Arashi said:
Right, that's one, too. Especially that we have known how much Naruto values his friendship with Sasuke and as to how he would react in such a situation. However, if the case was otherwise, then adding in a description of the character's feelings would jack up a little impact in the dialogue.Which is not the case in this dialogue though. :)
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:p Keep em coming guys;)

But I'll have to side with Nikkou this time though;):p


Michael92 said:
Update:​

Chapter 7 of The Legendary Sage of Konoha will be out at Saturday (9th Oct.) and will be the last chapter from me before I go away for a week...
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knots23

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WOW! dude you really have a great mind..try to work with KISHI and make your work really happen..i really love it to happen hahaha..nice one dude..really nice

weew..im speechless of your work xd
 
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Retrospective after-thoughts, Part 8:

Okay so this chapter flows a bit better than the last but it still feels a bit jarring at times, though that might just be the 'manga knowledge' talking and not taking the current information available at the time back then into consideration. Some stuff feels a bit forced and out of character, like it didn't age well. I dunno, I'm not completely sold on the 'Madara mystery' here yet for starters, and Naruto seem to be very passive-aggressive whenever he's in a discussion xD Like he has no chill, at all lmao. Sasuke too last chapter was very loud and shouting a lot lol. I might have done that to make them seem a lot more mature in the current timeline when they are grown up, but still, it's a bit too much at times lol, but I digress.

Killerbee, Killerbee, Killerbee.... Geezus his rhymes are so bad in this xD I don't even know what to say about it. Luckily there's some justice coming up for him in later chapters but man I had no idea what I was doing with his character at the time xD

On a side note I see I had the end of the chapter in post 2 here, maybe that was what the letter limit was at back then and I was forced to do so? Weird to think about now knowing how big that limit eventually ended up becoming, and I still went out of my way to break them xD:lok::ROFLMAO:

At the time this was written we knew so little of what was going to happen so I got to give credit where credit is due. The story and the pace of it is pretty good all things considered, the comments have convinced me to be a bit more lenient than I thought I would be, so I'll score this one...

7/10.
 
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