lol this is interesting
1. Banning SpongeBob Squarepants from the airwaves
2. Legalising cannibalism and human hunting for the cause
3. Banning fire arms from the authorities and only allowing them to use traditional weapons
4. Declaring yourself king
I. we have belief on good authority that the Spongebob Squarepants children’s show has subliminal messages that promotes drug abuse and plants messages in the subconscious of your children encouraging it. the most important period of a persons life psychologically has been proven to be during the early years of life. each character in the show is a depiction of being under the influence of a certain drug, Spongebob is on a meth high, Patrick is high on marijuana, Squidward is on heroin, Sandy is on cocaine and so on. the whole premise of the show is the pirate in the opening scene taking a drop of acid and inviting the viewer into the visual experience. these arent really the values and behaviors we want your children growing up thinking is normal. so for the benefit of this community, the show will not be aired
II. we’ve also decided to make Cannibalism and human hunting legal for anyone over the age of 18. we realize this is controversial and against the beliefs of many. but instead of pedophiles and rapists being labeled as *** offenders upon release, they will now be classified as free game for being hunted and eaten. this law is only in effect for registered *** offenders, once convicted youre tax dollars wont go to feeding them in some prison, they will be added to a list that will be updated and shown every night on local media sources. the federal law still holds these individuals as felons and cannot own firearms legally but now they can not rent or own property as well, pushing them out into the streets. any landlords will face misdemeanor charges for aiding and abetting these individuals. their meat can also be sold in stores with proof that they were manufactured from registered *** offenders. bounties to hire individuals to capture them are also allowed. individuals hunting and feasting on non-*** offenders will face normal charges. we dont believe people like this will ever change and like with the spongebob banning, we are committed to making this community a safe place for your children to grow up in
III. nationally we have had issues with police officers killing unarmed citizens which has created national unrest. our community will take the progressive step in banning firearms from on duty officers. they will still have access to armor. but now will only be allowed to carry Katanas, Long Swords, Bamboo Wooping Sticks, nunchucks, bow and arrow, axes, daggers and bulletproof shields. again we are committed to making this a safe community for your children by making it less easy for a unprofessional police officer to take a life of someone’s father, mother, sister brother, son, daughter and so forth. also any officer that kills someone unjustly will immediately be detained and face trail in a maximum of two weeks time after the incident
IV. i have loved this community and done my best to make it the best place to live on earth. but sometimes its not always simple to pass law in a democracy. which has led me and my team to deciding i am now king. the law enforcement under my direct command and support has taken over city hall which will be used as my castle for the time being and all congressmen are now under my direct order. but this isnt about me, this is about me making this a better place for you all that i love so much. its always been about that....and always will be. i hope youll accept me and together we can build a paradise on earth
yo that was harder than i thought it would be. this game is lowkey PR training
